kkk

I dont know. But dont get me wrong I not depressed or even feeling negative. I m just afraid that I will never feel conneced, although that is what I was looking for in first place.

I seen very similar topics here about relating to others while doing consciousness work. Last few months literaly felt like I totaly dont have a place here because, I m not even having normal conversations where I can relate to person or feel connected, I feel like a robot struggling to keep conversation, in wich I dont see meaning. This is happening even with close friends, with whom I have been connected for a while and even family. Situation is so shitty that I dont have craving for girls and sex with them, because I know when I going to be finished I m going to lose attraction to them and then after a time it will be back again...and I m not willing to chitchat with girl about things I m not interested in(I m interested only in consciousness work) just to have sex... Has anybody here actually lived this situation through and now everything is ok?

we seek healing from our inner demons? I dont know Alan Watts was enlightened, teacher and he lived agaist his own teachings. Maybe he just couldnt wait till all this life shit will end or maybe he just wanted to rest in peace...sorry if insulted some fans here

OMG @Kelley White thanks for help and sharing Did you have childhood trauma? If so then how did you look back so far back and recognized where it all started? (self-inquiry?) Since this quote 1h everyday it will be P.S. How its possible that Alan Watts could have a marrige, smoking, drinking problems?

Thanks, @Henri Now I will practice meditation more! Actually ever sence first Leo's video about enlightenment a have been doing research about everything around this topic. Not long ago I started meditation for 30min every day, till now didnt feel any gains, maybe I becomed a little more calm and peacefull. At the same time I know persons who dont practice meditation or any consciosnes work, and they just dont have this kinds of problems. Basicly I got addicted to smoking by going out with my friends...we all smoked pretty much the same doses, but I was the only on who after time got addicted. Now I heavent smoked 9 months. But anyways i feel that smoking is actualy not that bad habit, maybe i should test again how I feel when I m addicted to smoking

Hello Sence the last Leo's video, I have been looking at problems diferent. One of my problems are addictions. Sence 6 grade when parent let me have a computer, I have been addicted to all kinds of stuff. So offcorse everything started with videogames....after while i had some disputes with my parents because they didnt like that i play those killing games...Then next addiction was Photoshop, aftereffect etc...Then in 9 grade when i moved away from family because of school...I started to smoke and drink a lot.... And now I m having the same addictions periodically. And just now caught myself, that when i droped smoking, i started video games, when I droped video games i started to watch rap battles, when I droped rap battled I started to watch a lot of movies ...And this is how my life looks like... Periodically I drop something that I feel i m addicted to... Maybe someone here had same problems, and have some advice how to deal with addictions generaly?! P.S. I know that people with addiction problems generally have some deeper problems, and then they unconsciously try to cover up their eyes with all kinds of addictions. But problem is that I dont know where to look for solution.

Awesome reply For sure somebody will try this later because of you and this will be your first influence on others

Eckhart in one of his videos already mentoned that you cant force this shit on people. Only those who are ready will come No need to make commercials about enlightenment

Thanks Ayla, for your answer. But in this post the culmination was that peace after envyous night. I think I had so much envy that I couldnt take it in souch proportions, so now I feel it 10 times weaker, Sounds very simple, In those upset moments I just forget about any technique that could help me. In next day wil try to concentrate only on good things he has I know its fuckd up that I m envyous on my friend that much and I cant even be a true friend to him because I want to be better than him so much...but that how I feel and I cant help it. I think thats because I feel that my parents have some expectations for me to be better than anybody around me..

I don't know if somebody here experienced something outside of meditation. But 2 weeks back I had a weird experience. My roommate's financial and status life is improving while my is going pretty slow. So one time some of his friends gifted him a lot of stuff because he was moving out of the country. So I got really envious , like couldn't even have an eye contact with him at that moment. That day i couldn't just go to sleep because inside i felt like life is so unfair and I was thinking about stuff like - if I know there is god, I would just commit a suicide and go beat the shit out of that asshole piece of shit. And after 3 days, I was talking with my roommate and he really likes to talk about how good his life is, sometimes I swear to God he is just trying to drill into my eyes how big he is, so I felt small...but then I noticed that envious feeling in me....it was there, but it was like 10 times weaker and it just didn't hurt anymore. After that envious night i noticed that there is much more peace inside me. I was wondering maybe someone have similar experience...and has something to say. It would be very interesting to hear. Last days I even have some masochism inside me for some mental trauma...because I know those strong emotional experiences have some power. P.S...Sorry for my English, there must be a lot of mistakes in post. And I know that I m ego that doesn't exist, that is fiction.