tommysalerno

@BipolarGrowth just downloaded it on my kindle thank you!

@tatsumaru I just bought it on my kindle, thank you!

@tuckerwphotography I watched the movie and it really got a lot of insights! and will be watching it again! Thank you so much for recommending this movie

Since I must search for truth everywhere, even under my bed, I went to a miami strip club last night for the very first time. I already had a strong inkling that behind this door is a complete trap that people get stuck in on the never ending merry go round of pleasure but I couldn't assume anything. I nevertheless had to walk through it. I had to experience it as a small step in my growth. I am a younger guy (24) and always wanted to go to a strip club before I got into spiritual work, so this experience allowed me let go of that within me. So what happened? I walked in the strip club with my coworker, he paid my cover charge unexpectedly. (I already had the commitment to myself before going that I would spend the least amount of money possible and not consume any alcohol) Me and my coworker met up with my manager who was completely in his alter ego, he had gold grill on his teeth and a huge chain with a gold watch. He already had a girl dancing with him. Well we sat down, ordered drinks (I ordered water) and I just observed. I took everything in, the smells, the colors, the women, my desire within me, and my anxiety of being in a novel environment which brought uncomfort. I observed all the men that engage in these activities. I even observed some women beyond their physicality, into their energies and body language, I sensed lower vibrations like shame, guilt, insecurity. And to note, all of this observation that night was all from a non judgemental non attached way, it was just curiosity. I sat all night in the same chair and just looked around for 3 hours, just appreciating the physical beauty. I was just appreciating from a detached not engaged way and it was great. I didn't get a lap dance, or a private room, or a massage or even tipped any women, I just sat there. Some girls approached me and asked if I wanted a dance and I politely declined and that was it. Nothing special. I probably won't step back into a strip club again, but if the strip clubs calls for me again then perhaps I must. Oh and by the way, I was able to end the night without spending a single dime or drinking alcohol... ( even after the a lot of peer pressure from coworker/manager) Thanks for reading!

I usually don't talk about spiritual topics with people who aren't interested in awakening themselves, but I just ranted about how everything is an illusion to my girlfriend and now she thinks I am crazy. She definitely doesn't want to go down the awakening path. Have anyone ever experienced this with your girlfriend boyfriend husband or wife? I definitely just scared the shit out of her and probably made her question her entire reality... woops

I have been grappling with the idea of purpose and I am getting ideas that "finding a purpose" is an illusion of ego that prevents consciousness from realizing it's own source. Through inquiry, I find my motivation to find an external purpose in the world is driven by indoctrination from society since an early age. So many people say "find your purpose in life" and they use that as a compass without realizing that anything or nothing can be their purpose because it is all an attachment of the mind that we create for our ego to identify with. And the worst part is that this attachment to believing that what we are doing is our purpose is all out of avoiding looking into the abyss of darkness of who we really are. So where does that lead me? life may or may not have inherent purpose which I cant find direct experience of but I am leaving it open to question due to my own ignorance of not knowing what i don't know, but creating such purpose serves ego by perpetuating it's own existence and prohibits us from looking in.