RMQualtrough

Well I got this already courtesy of drug use, I think it's just an incoherence in apparent unity. I know that I am nothing. I know everyone else must be seeing and thinking and so on with the same nothing that I do. Any worldview someone has, I would say this is irrefutable no matter the paradigm. The nothingness is indisputably true I think. And further the actual existence of a physical "substance" is completely impossible. Unless for example someone believes mathematics is made of physical math-particles etc. then it is an impossibility. Now we have the conundrum of course of identity. When cleansed into pure beingness, with perhaps only some images remaining (before I truly am void), you can wonder why if we are all seeing via the same nothing I know that I actually am, I do not see like a CCTV control room with billions of TVs for each instance of an experience... And if identifying as the character, you wonder what it is experientially like when there is no next instance of this character. I already know the nothingness I will be wiped to, and what I am already. I can only envision something else entirely appearing there immediately. Like the anaesthetic instantaneous skip into the vision of the recovery room from the nurse telling you to count down from 10. But no knowledge of this life or universe or me or whatever else, of course. I am considering that Advaita may be more coherent than solipsism (on several grounds, including the implications of the appearance of forms at all). Infinity (synonym of nothing and awareness), fragmented into and within itself... Nothingness completely undivided is unstable, because it has no limit. Hence limit is created within it because in borderless infinity without any limitation, "things" are inevitable. Else you would need to place a limit upon nothingness that makes it stay as sheer nothing, which isn't possible because as soon as any limitation exists it's not infinite/nothing anymore. I can get that.

I have my own theories on the same matter of course, I do have slightly troubling thoughts when doing something stressful like exercise that an "instance" of me as it were, is forever sweating like a mofo out of breath on the goddamn StairMaster for eternity. I don't know enough about quantum mechanics but I suspect the quantum eraser thing, where the past is apparently altered by a decision made later, is because every event in the universe from beginning to end already exists.

Of course it might be true. I agree that it is btw (albeit you obviously wrote it in the same """"now"""" when you did write it). But you can't actually prove this at all. There is no way at all to know that everything before now is a false memory...

Nothingness doesn't need to be created, and it can't be removed. That's what you are, and that is literally what consciousness is. I may theorize much, but this I can tell you... Sunyata type shit may be the most important experience. I had insanely stronger breakthroughs, but perhaps they are too far beyond easy human comprehension. Knowing yourself as empty, nothing... It is easy to comprehend, easy to show, easy to know you are not mistaken... Relation to question? Nothingness has no boundary. Boundaries only exist for finite things. No boundary = no limit = infinity. Within infinity lies finity. This experience of objects and such, that is finity. They arise as a consequence of unbounded creation AKA nothingness AKA consciousness AKA that which is itself without finitude. No need to ponder about a first mover or smallest particle type.

I dreamed there was a demon, she looked like a little girl, she had the power to destroy the world so I had to keep her happy (sort of like that Twilight Zone ep with the cornfield right?)... So this demon asks me "do you love me?" I had to lie of course and say "yes". Then it became evident the question was sort of mocking really. Then the demon asked me to show her how much I loved her and stripped. The demon was a little girl with hairy legs, she then said the name of my dead mother and began to masturbate over her death while smirking or laughing or some shit.

What would you say it achieves beyond that? Higher comfort surrounding life and death I suppose.

When you think about it, you could never have infinity AND something else, or what was called infinity isn't... But we do see finity. Infinity alone is nothingness. All form has finite borders... So infinity MUST be self dividing into infinite finities... And then I suspect it follows that each of us may just be one of those. As there is nothing to our personhood but some kind of finity.......

I've used Ketamine, it's a weird raver drug. If it was that insightful, all the party animals would be "enlightened". What DMT will do is take you out of body (accurately: take your body out of you) and disrupt your sense of self/identity. However, it can twist reality in exceptionally incomprehensible and frightening ways. Even literally traumatic where you may have flashbacks when trying to sleep and have a panic attack... So that is a risk. I do know that the sole reason I am here is because I had an extreme breakthrough on 5 hits of acid with DMT vaped at the peak. It was so strong I searched for monistic religions... But now I can't really recall what that experience was like at all, save for nanoseconds of rough visual recollection... It should be explainable to people without them having to take drugs. Leo says: he can tell you all about an African safari, but his explanation won't be the African safari itself. Well, telling ought to be enough to quench curiosity if someone is able to convey it well enough.

I do tune in more experientially with the detached school of thought. I also find it more liberating, though personal feelings should never get in the way of what is fact... You cannot hold regrets if you believe the actions you regret merely unfolded as the universe itself does. I can't think of many situations now... But maybe rejecting certain people romantically? Maybe being mean to a loved one once... Hurtful things I may have said and done... When you can remove the appearance and simply observe the unfurling of this....... You understand that all of that too was just that continuous unfurling, and the element of control or regret or FOMO is part of the ego mind. The things you mention are the unfurling of infinity. I could and think I have elsewhere been more precise... But the only way for existence to be, is for finity to appear (not a typo). Infinity alone has no border anywhere at all. Infinity = nothing = the only thing where there could never be any border. Something of any kind = finity. There is infinity/nothingness. You call it consciousness (though really nobody has ever "had consciousness", it is the inverse). You cannot grab and mold something when there is nowhere to grab if you see what I mean? To have a thought, say a desire for the world to be a certain way, that desire is finite and thus has a graspable border: it is a specific desire and NOT something else. E.g. a desire for this universe and not another. Finity is how infinity manifests as existence, but infinity itself has no limit. It can contain them but never possess them, so it can contain your desires, alcohol, colors, but never itself be them as all of these items are limited. Consider: When you watch a movie each character is a set of pixels. The screen contains the entire movie and all the characters, and the movie is made OF and contained within that screen. But none of those characters or pixels are themselves the screen itself despite the fact they simultaneously are it (as said: they are made of the screen, appear in it). This is like the limits inside of infinity. More: Your entire person-ness is finity. Everything around you including the stuff "in your head" like private thoughts are finity. The reason you can see the color blue on your car is because it appears as blue and NOT also simultaneously as every other possible thing. Shapes, sounds, sensations when you touch things: the feeling of something hot is graspable because it is limited, it is hot and not cold. It is hot and not the sound of a violin... You the human being, your entire life, you are among the limitations which manifest as a natural result of that which has no limits - that without limits being nothingness (common term: "consciousness")... Build a house on a completely infinite empty open field, now there is an inside and an outside, air fills the inside of the house and also outside. Now knock the house down, what happens to the air? It was always just itself, just air, the border of the house was a limited construct... You the person are that house.

You were tripping tbh dude, Connor Murphy thought he was an alien sent to Earth to spread the gospel. Most of the tangible "ideas" are not that reliable. I've tripped in excess of 100 times easily, never felt love ever. Barely ever feel it in sober life either. It never arises so it's never part of my "insights"... The spontaneity of creation seems right... I've been able to "will" things on DMT, but I think perhaps it may be the inverse of what causes deja vu. Deja vu is when your conscious mind lags a bit out of sync, creating the sensation it's happened before because you already registered what you are aware of now. It's just a tiny lag... And when for example I decide to "will" Marge Simpson's hair into a trip (yes, I was high, it happens) that might be the reverse where there is perfect sync. So the """desire""" for a thing (which is ofc really just a thought) happens totally in sync and simultaneously with the conscious mind's rendering of it, giving a sense that it has been chosen... But before I "wanted" to make Marge's hair appear, there wasn't a moment of choosing for that want to appear... I suspect there isn't actually will, just unfurling. Infinity is out of control, which makes sense really. Borders are what gives things stability. No borders is chaos.

Just walking along the promenade of a beach I really like. Nothing mystical happened, no realizations. It was just a pleasant experience. However I did find a spot where, at around 14, I had a kinda deep "mystical" moment while sitting on a bench overlooking the sea. I was with my family either side of me, with a hoodie wrapped around me to protect from the wind. I am now 29 but this is one of my strongest memories... Because we were just sitting there and my mind is rather quizzical anyway, and I had zero anxiety disorder at that time, my mind wandered onto a thought about what the "I" thing is. I realized that there was nothing about it that could possibly be different in anyone or anything because the thing itself did not have anything about it that had any actual element where I could say "well that's different from another person's because mine is green" or w.e. other way things could be differentiated. I thought about this deeply. Alas I could not crack why I was not able to read other people's thoughts. Eventually we got ice cream and I stopped thinking about it. This is where it happened. I really miss my family...

@Breakingthewall But a want is itself a creation? Want must be in front of creation itself.

WHY is it called "love" if not at all related to the emotion, or else WHY is it not just a cope because most people feel it while tripping hard?

@Arugoel I don't think the insight could be tweaked based on intellectual state, as it wasn't an insight so much as a direct recognition. The words might shift marginally. Experientially, what I speak of happened by the pushing back of awareness from all form. All form remained in the foreground. Any form at all, no matter what it was, any limited thing, any something even a sound or physical touch, became the foreground. And I went backwards away in towards myself. Imagine watching a movie at the theater, being engrossed in that film, then recognizing you are sitting in the chair and recognizing the movie to be playing to you while you are sat there all along. Like the physical eyes, the difference again is that when you experience this shift, there isn't a body on a seat. You are what's on the seat but you have no form whatsoever. None. If something has any form it is in the foreground like the movie at the theatre. You never leave the seat. You are completely and entirely without thingness. You're just a disembodied nothing... You are there, like you are when at the theatre. But the you that is there has nothing at all to it. There is nothing at or behind it. All something is always foreground. You are the background, you have no form or thingness. Consciousness should be considered a synonym of nothingness. All forms arise from nothingness, and vanish back into nothingness. As these things are synonymous, they arise from consciousness, appear to it, then retract back into it. Basically, the wording I don't think can be altered while retaining the meaning. Any word other than nothing will always subtley suggest a something to a typical person. No-thing even, it sounds like it's just a strange something. But it literally is not a thing. It is nothing. And it is the most obvious word for it to use AFAIK.

It's not something I heard that resonates, it happened first hand. The other idea would not be accurate to that... It's not like a scientific theory where people debate. Like if a professor says "you're not conscious" there's no view there to consider as you know what you are. I could never be found as an object but it was like, by the very nature of it, it couldn't even feasibly be anything. Unlike physical eyes where it's like, maybe if I turn them round 180 degrees or grab a mirror I'll see them. The very nature of what that "I" is, is that it alone can never have any form whatsoever... Never... And inherently there is simply nothing there. You are it, and to think it would not be possible for nothingness to be aware is, I think, just a misunderstanding of what nothingness truly is. Logically, all things have limit. For something to be a thing it HAS to have a boundary. E.g. the color red is a something. It is limited in that it must be red and NOT blue. There is a finitude to ALL things without exception. There is feasibly only one thing which could ever have no limitation at all, and be completely infinite without boundary: Nothingness. Even logically this makes sense. And experientially, there was no way I could say that what was "back there" so to speak was anything other than nothing... Which is me, which is without limit. You mention Advaita. And I see many of them say awareness knows itself even in deep sleep. It may do so, but it is nothingness knowing nothingness. And when nothingness appears without any limited forms, it is like a general anaesthetic gap. 10, 9, 8... Recovery room post surgery...... No gap... Nothingness by itself skips like a camcorder that pauses then restarts. Play back the tape and the gap never happens on that recording.

It's not a something. Consider this... You have eyes, everything you could ever possibly see is in front of your eyes. You can never get behind your eyes. Your eyes we know are "somethings" because we can find them as objects, e.g. you can touch them (srs, it feels weird to do but used to do it as kids to freak each other out lolz), or see them in a mirror, dissect them etc. Things in your mind as you may know are themselves not made of "things", they are mirages, so if you imagine a castle in a dream, that castle is not really there made out of stones and elemental particles (etc). It's all a mirage. In your mind you have something like your eyes, except never observerable and never graspable, you can only "be it", and you are it and you call it "I". Everything that you are ever aware of is, like what you see with your eyes, appearing to it. If it is an object in any way whatsoever, it is something appearing to awareness. Awareness isolated by itself is never something. If it was something, it would have a quality to it, and you could observe it. And if you could observe it, it would be appearing to you, so could not then be it as the "I" would then be farther behind it, and it always regresses and hides farther back behind anything that ever becomes an object of awareness...... You can never see your mind-eye with your mind-eye, like you can't see your physical eyes with your physical eyes, or touch your fingertip with the same fingertip. When you experience BEING it, which is the only way to know that nothingness, you will definitely understand that what you are is absolutely nothing. You mever observe it, you are it. ALL things that could ever even conceivably be observed are not what I'm talking about. Your true self is the ONLY thing that in no way could be observed. You can be it and that's it... And via the knowing of somethings, recognize that the thing which knows that something is, literally, NOTHING. Nonexistence. What you refer to as your consciousness and nonexistence are the same..... Interchangeable terms. Nothingness exists and it's you. Weird huh? Do you get it?

@Leo Gura On topic: Have you read "The Mysterious Stranger" by Mark Twain. What did you think of it?

Def prescribed for bipolar sometimes, not sure about other conditions. But basically if Lithium is involved, never take any form of psychedelic, even MDMA if I remember right... Same with MAOI antidepressants. MAOIs are used in Ayahuasca but the amount is carefully measured to avoid serotonin syndrome.

One thing I do know, is that if you are taking Lithium, LSD could easily kill you. Might be the same with other psychedelics. Avoid any combo of Lithium with psychedelics.

I took acid late 2019, age 27 I think. Then DMT. I combined high doses of both acid and DMT together around mid May 2020, and there was no way to come back from that. I have been stuck thinking about and trying to understand what happened to me since then, essentially... I became "religious" in that moment. I don't think God exists though, as in an entity purposefully creating anything. But more like the idea of Brahman.

Imagine you have no ability to form even a nanosecond of memory at all. Every single moment is slightly different and isolated, as there is no way for your mind to tie a string through them into any sort of idea of continuation. Those moments which change every single moment, that is the cycle of death and rebirth taking place... "reincarnation". When you understand you are not the changing moments (e.g. your thoughts and life story, etc) but what the moments appear in/to, then the cycle of life and death is escaped. It still takes place, but because you don't identify any longer with the element which is subject to change, you are identifying with that which was never born and never dies and never changes...

No def not, that would actually point away from what it is. Because it IS literally nothing. Hence nothing is the right word. Consciousness isolate by itself (when you refer to "I") IS literal, absolute, total, nothingness. That's what it is. Related would be something like Sunyata or emptiness. What you fundamentally absolutely are is literal nothingness. That is what is undeniable, and that IS consciousness. Nothingness IS consciousness. Literally is it. When you say I meaning consciousness, you are referring to nothingness. It's not a non-object or no-thing. It's nothing. And the appearances are limited forms in it, substantially themselves not "made of" anything (and if not made of anything, then they must be made of...... nothing. Which is the exact same thing as consciousness and the words could be used interchangeably). Like an illusory wall after illusory wall, where you can pass your hand through and NEVER reach a solid... The existence of these limited forms I surely suppose is the natural consequence of something entirely unlimited AKA nothingness. It is only logical.

@Arugoel I meant you find that it's what you ARE. So not what you're seeing etc. @GreenWoods You yourself are nothingness. I don't know how to best showcase, but obv you know if you go blind you remain, because sight was an appearance. If you lost your arms you remain because the feeling of having arms etc was an appearance and not fundamentally you. This works to literal nothingness. Anything that is anything is like that, it's something you are aware of. It's not what you call "I". You can find that you are nothingness. Srs. This isn't shit I read in a book or saw on YouTube, it happened to me first hand tripping. And this fact was not something that was a crackpot trippy theory, it was undeniably true. Like if you imagine a scientist trying to tell you that you aren't conscious, it's the type of fact that is self evident exactly like knowing you're aware is known without needing theories or science to examine it.

It was... I can't perceive love so of course it won't appear for me or a snake etc.

@Arugoel The thing is, in heightened states, you can find something which is literally nothing and has no form or property whatsoever. And it's the thing we usually refer to when saying "I"... Which obv we know is there, but probably don't realize is literally nothingness... That can't be an appearance of course, as it doesn't have an appearance.