Cathal

recognizing your inherent innocence immediatly you forgive yourself for causing yourself so much suffering to yourself from a false perception immediatly you recognize the inherent innocence of all human beings and through compassion true forgiveness happens then you can forgive anyone for doing anything to you. i have spent a very long time on that and it just happened like that for me, i had very deep catharsis and feel free of my attachments to being a victim to a crime - being free of the story

what the fuck happened in your childhood?

@Jow but you must try

Why don't you just do a lower dose if you aren't ready to let go on a high dose? you can work on your issues, gain insight and understanding without having to lose control What are you looking for when using psychedelics?

these feelings of not being accepted, not being apart of something is because you don't know how to be your authentic self with others. there is a you, whom when the camera is put in your face puts up an act - but that's not really you, that's the part of you that hides the true you, you will forever be in this cycle until you work on transitioning into your authentic self. it's a lot of work, all you can really do is try your best and put the effort in to allow yourself to be yourself with others. there will be a part of you that is hesistant, worried, afraid that you will be rejected, unwanted, abandoned, not liked - but just know, that is not you. you can create an entirely new reality for yourself by taking that step towards letting go of the boundaries you create to hide your vunerability.

i've met about 50+ girls off tinder since I was about 20, haven't met anyone off it since I turned 24. i'll prob use it again because i suck at the language of the country i live in i don't have a clue what good results mean but i've met like 3 girls who i was good friends with for a long time and overall had a lot of good laughs i have met some really mentally fucked people since i tend to attract that lol

Whatever people think of you through opinion or judgment and is a reflection of how they see themselves so however people treat you is just them communicating how you can understand them if you can see that. Same case for you. If people bother you it's something to do with you. No one has ever seen you, neither have you seen yourself. Who is looking at the body in the mirror? What is aware of the space where thoughts are arising and passing? Take some relief in it really, no one gives a shit

@Nightwise Yes I mean it was a while ago when I just knew what I wanted to become but I was just pretty miserable and just kept to my hedonistic habits to avoid confronting myself to change but I agree, working towards your maximum potential also means your most intense experience of life. If life is about anything it has to be how can we all have the most intense experience of it? It's hard to unhook yourself from a society that gets off on you consuming and attaching to things, feeling worthless, contracted and powerless @puporing I really think it's a brief life, there's nothing worth not doing all the way with your heart

I really think the quickest way to raise yourself out of whatever pit you're in is to just align yourself with whatever you think is the most important thing to do and give yourself to it and surrender the resistance from a self that would rather masterbathe smoke weed and play the Sims. If you only wait around for a spark of inspiration while needlessly suffering a meaningless life you aren't on the right page, I don't think you can find your purpose through thought, it just comes to you. If you are deeply suffering you are not seeking purpose but relief, and when time comes to do the right thing or attach to relief you will attach to relief, so just take care of yourself first before you go doing anything. Get financially independant and fulfill your emotional needs. It will strangle you if you don't. The possibility to be entangeled by your emotional needs and egoic triggers like ambition will completely cloud your clarity to your purpose. But I guess I would just ask myself the question: What is wrong with world? And work from that point onwards. Those are just my thoughts from where I was at a year ago and now trying to find purpose and understanding, entering my dark night and feeling alive again. I just made a yt vid bout that if you wanna check it out.

@Ulax if it makes sense to you then it's legit for wherever you're at half of the shit i read or hear just makes no sense to me, in some ways it does but it's totally out of my experience so yes confusing in that way

@Space Lizard I always just thought that each person has there own kind of ingenuity that can be realized, somehow life happens in such a way that cuts through all your patterns straight into your heart and it comes alive in the sense it's like a calling to do the right thing because for sure everyone knows deep down there is something wrong with the world in there own eyes, to change the way things are or to aid in the change of life to be more good, more helpful for others to grow, I don't think purpose is any kind of skill or something to do with utilitarian because that's just the effort you have to put in to blossom the purpose. everyone has an intuitive knowing of what is right and wrong and each to their own, i don't know how you create that. it is always just there, masked by delusions of a seperate self - it seems life makes you suffer so much you are forced to awaken to that, if you can silence your mind you can experience your deeper wisdoms far beyond thought - silencing the mind through chemicals is also fine. but no objective purpose for sure, that's where things get sticky icky

@Leo Gura I think you take responsability to develop yourself to be able to take action from a purpose, I don't know how anyone creates a purpose through thinking. There is just so much room to slip into an attachment, a plan, the plans develop from a purpose and not vice versa wouldn't you say? It just came to me when I experienced stillness but there's no way I could ever see it so clearly through thinking or planning my way to it

glad you decided to make your journey visible for everyone

Psychedelics just dissolve the filters to experience non-duality, of course you could also non-duality is always the case. But to really experience that state of choiceless awareness unable to feel any attachments of a seperate self is a whole different world than masterbathing in your head about it, but that's just to get the insight. When you get the insight the only thing left to do is work on letting go of what you have attached to, there is nothing to gain, you gain more and more the less you want things. I think most people here are working on that.

How do you differentiate between your authentic self and inauthentic self?

yes you're both right thats the one thanks

I got a really amazing therapist earlier last year who really changed me, when we were working through a lot of inner child stuff one day she basically got these mini-figures and told me to choose members of my family to represent each one. Man it was so powerful, like I would go into the story and she would move the characters and I would have this intense cathartic moment or I would really cry out from that same headspace of being a child and all that. Does anyone know what that's called? Apparently it's a technique, she said it's quantumleap therapy or some shit but I can't find anything on it - she is a very spiritual person and doesn't really follow the textbook too much edit: didn't look too far from this, and she would then question me

@Focus whatever happens in the future is going to happen despite your worries - worries are merely you trying to predict the future based on your past, it doesn't really exist. you just allow it and stop identifying with the thought, that is what has worked for me anyways. when i worry i just feel allow myself to feel that and not bother with the stories in my head, the feeling passes rather quickly. i think what brings them back is your struggle to get rid of them

whatever is in the present moment just is, if it's sad old events then sink into them. it just is, what's wrong with it? meditation is being present with what is, if you want to reach more flowy absorbative states then sit for longer. practice, meditation - let go of wanting to be somewhere else, because it's never going to happen. you having a desire to have no distractions just goes against what is, that has to be understood. your very desire for to escape this isness of what is happening is you getting in your own way of feeling peaceful with the what is. just be with what is, allow everything. there are no distractions or worries from the outside, it's happening inside of you. you are running from yourself and you will never win that race. these sad old events, if they are intrusive and reoccuring are trying to communicate things to you, unresolved emotions, your belief systems, there are needs not being met etc - your own inner conflict can only be resolved and not escaped

as a child you identified these feelings from being abused as 'you' right, that YOU are inherently unworthy as a human being and it has determined your behaviours up until now but, have you ever just felt.. unworthy? like, admitted defeat to it? just accepted and validated that you feel unworthy? actually say to yourself... "yeah i'm unworthy, i actually believe that, i feel that" and just find some relief, that 'aaaah' moment, like you're falling into a comfortable chair after work. perhaps if you do that, you might feel really uncomfortable. but i think you get exhausted because there's a massive struggle internally to feel worthy. and you end up hopeless because you're still trying to search for this external worth. i think there may be resistance to this, if you completely admit and surrender defeat to your unworthiness (maybe the struggle against your mother?) you can find some relief there. it's just like admitting to yourself and finding relief that you are imperfect, and no longer going on struggling to be perfect. see the pointlessness in it, but then you are like what will make me feel worthy? i don't know, intergrity activity - aligning yourself with what you desire in life and taking action towards it, this approach is more for allowing yourself to stop struggling against yourself, you end up in a deep pit of hopelessness and not giving a fuck about anything going on that way

what is a leaf, whaaaat are the stars? that childhood spark of awe and wonder for this creation. i have no idea what anything is, and no one can tell ever tell me. we all have to see it ourselves i suppose. feeling.

@puporing yes like a year ago i got like 7 months of free therapy, it was life changing. the people/staff at this rad thing are really wonderful people. it's almost a shock something like that even exists haha

feel - act - think = mentally unwell feel - think - act = mentally well

David hawkins would often say it took him 2 years of surrendering to an emotion to let it go - you could say it's like the sedona method in a way, I think it's more the radical surrender to the what is whereas at least from what I see a lot of cherry picking and duality in people who use sedona because there is the surrender of pleasant and good feelings too, not to many people can see how you must be able to be able to let them go too, not to blame the sedona method itself