Vzdoh

@Lucas-fgm that's your assumption. U are free to assume anything u want, its your mind and your projections ???? has nothing to do with my real situation ?

@Harlen Kelly in my personal experience, from interacting with women in my life and participating in deep discussions about sex and sexuality with women in chat and forum groups, I rarely see first of all psychologically healthy women, more than 80% have various issues with self esteem, experienced childhood trauma of various sorts, in abusive relationships, i. e. Quite bad at protecting their own boundaries, etc. And I am just seeing it and this is how it is and its not good or bad, its just reality of growing up in dysfunctional families and socialising. So, I rarely saw or observed women who really embrace their sexuality, free with it and actually go fuck multiple guys. Normally these few ladies that found their sexuality, did it within a monogamous relationship in a safety and security of experimenting with a permanent partner.

@Lucas-fgm hahahaha. Its not only women that say one thing and do complete opposite - both genders do it - especially when they are on some sort of neurotic spectrum, meaning that cannot express your needs and wants in a direct and assertive manner or allow others to buldose through your boundaries.

@Harlen Kelly so do you think that's healthy? To go have sex with random guys to try to tackle a nasty breakup? Instead of like a self aware adult, sit with the feelings and process them? And work on your self esteem? Having sex with multiple partners does not resolve the feelings from the break up. If any thing, it might make it worse. For me personally, long time ago when I did ONS, I did it from the pkace of low self esteem mostly, I did not value myself and my body, and how precious it is and felt super bad after ONS. For me it was soul crushing and got me even more depressed than before sex.

@Harlen Kelly i am not judging anyone here, just stating my own observations. And I am not defending or attacking women in here. Everyone can do what pleases them. However, I am a part of a few psychological groups for women only. No guys. And women share their anonymously about sex and sexual attraction and dating. And out of thousands of active members in the group, only few % is actually really into sex for sex's sake, i. E. They use apps just to get laid just like guys. And many of these women share openly that this is their way to get validation and boost to a self esteem - nothing healthy about it in my view. Sex addiction is possible in women, but much more rare than in men. Women are more wired to have plenty of sex with one guy, than plenty of sex with plenty of guys. That's all. Don't see any judgement in my words from just stating a fact.

@Raptorsin7 i dont judge guys based on body count. I judge guys ONLY on how they treat me. If I get respectful and caring treatment + vulnerability from the guy, I don't care how many women he slept with. Body count for women depends largely on their age and looks. For me, I counted like 21-22, but I am 39yo and majority of this happened before age 32. I am much more selective now and have no problem going without sex for a year if I don't fancy anyone or can't build an emotional connection with.

For pretty women to get sex is easy. If I accepted all offers I get every day, my count would be in the hundreds. I get offers from guys ranging from 10 years younger to up to 10 years older. So there is no shortage of that. But for me, not sure about other women, emotional connection is the key. I simply can't enjoy sex without it. And very few guys actually want a true emotional connection because it means they will need to be vulnerable with me. And lots of men have issues being vulnerable in general and being vulnerable with the woman they like. So in my case, even if the guy is super assertive and had plenty of sex with other women, if he is not opening up and being vulnerable with me, I will lose my initial interest and attraction and move on. I don't date/have sex when vulnerability and emotions are missing from the equation. So if a woman has a high body count, to me ut just means she is not in touch with her emotions or healthy psychologically, i. E. Trying to use sex to replace emotions or use it as a manipulation tectic to get close to the guy, and that never works.

I think this boils down to the ability to read another person's verbal and non verbal clues and signs. Having that and genuine empathy helps a lot in reading others. Personally, if a guy asks me about if he can kiss me, it tells me two things, both negative and both will put me off of him. 1) he obviously cannot read me to actually see if he can, 2) he is insecure in himself to take initiative abd the lead as guys should. It only works if it's actually a playful statement where he asks but already going in for a kiss or when u kissed already and this is teasing/flirting. My BF asks me at the end of every date if he sees me again. And we are officially BF and GF. I find it charming, cause it is coming from a genuine place and it tells me he does not take me for granted. As for coming to guy's place = she wants sex. This is absolutely not true. For example, in lockdown in Singapore, restaurants stopped serving drinks at 21:30 and since I had a flatmate, I went to the guy's place to have another drink and I flat out told him that I am not ready for sex and need to get to know him better. And he took it of course the wrong way and started forcing me. I left and expected an apology. It never came. So I blocked the guy. Ability to read the other and communicate is the key. Don't assume stuff.

Hi guys, I recently discovered that there are still dark parts of myself that I do not accept fully. It's also sometimes called shadow self. I have done a lot of work on myself. Did Hoffman process, vipassana, multiple spiritual and Buddhist retreats and now working with my coach, I understood that there are still parts of me that I do not love and accept fully. There are not many, maybe 80% I am there already. Accepting and embracing shadow self normally unleashes crearivity, kundalini energy, spontaneity and life force. I do have all of that already too, but not at the level I wished. Anyone has done any work in that space and can recommend good resources to have a look at? Super grateful! ❤️❤️❤️❤️???

@universe @cookiemonster @Vzdoh @Leo Gura Where can i read more about sedona method?

@Vzdoh @Leo Gura nope. Haven't seen it. Will go have a look. Is it similar to holotropic breathing? Done that but under supervision. Lots of amazing insights came out. Update: watched the video and done 30min of shamanic breathing. How come time passed by so fast? Just had tingling sensations in my hands, energy and tingling of electricity in my solar plexes, convulsions of muscles in solar plexes and a strange tightening around my chest - felt like I am a toddler with pants tightened above my breasts, and it was squeezing hard in that area. Weird. Will do 60min next time. Thanks for suggesting ?

@Leo Gura nope. Haven't seen it. Will go have a look. Is it similar to holotropic breathing? Done that but under supervision. Lots of amazing insights came out.

@Shin when will that happen? Would be great to have specific section dedicated to it ??

@Superfluo thank you dear. Bought all the books u recommended and subscribed to Teal - she is amazing ?❤️?

@Leo Gura hey Leo, thanks for reply. I live in Singapore and don't want to die as a result of psychodelics use here. Its death penalty for doing drugs in here. Any other solutions? I will however try next time I am in the USA. ???

Hi guys, I am new here and wanted to ask a question about something I am currently working on in my self-development practice. Would appreciate your true and honest feedback and views. I have this "tails" or very polarised reaction spectrum to aggression directed at me. I either freeze or become an aggressor myself. Trying to find natural, automatic, and appropriate level of response to agression without going into those two extremes. Have you experienced such problem? What practices or tools have you used to get to a more measured response? Have you noticed the "freezing" moments and were able to overcome them or catch them before onset and do something to prevent yourself from going into "freeze"? Any suggestions or advice are welcome! Thank you!

I don't have any issues saying no or protect myself when treatment of me or others i care about is unfair. I can be quite assertive and firm and can fight dirty. No problem. But the issue is really in those cases when aggression is directed at me. That's when i either freeze or become super agressive after holding emotions in me for a while. Severe aggression reaction normally comes after the freezing stage. Working through it right now. Interested if anyone else have the same issue and how u notice the freezing stage arrive? I want to be able to not only catch it before hand, but also develop an automatic and measured reaction before it happens. That's what I am targeting for here.

I personally think looking gorgeous is a gift. Not an achievement per se. Of course, working out and taking care of yourself well adds to the "genetic blessing", but largely I still view it as a gift for which I am grateful. Makes it easier to work with clients. Makes it easier to attract guys I like. Makes it easier to be likable and get good treatment from strangers. But I never rely just on my looks. I think a combo of confidence, openness, assertiveness, good and kind heart together with looks is what makes me outstanding, not only looks alone.