Harlen Kelly

@Windappreciator Definitions of codependency vary, but typically include high self-sacrifice, a focus on others' needs over your own needs, suppression of one's own emotions, and attempts to control or fix other people's problems.

@Windappreciator I think this might be news for you but one of the main elements of sexual relationships is sex. You really believe being a doormat is somehow advanced or are you just playing thought experiments?

@Windappreciator Codependency is not love, is lack of consciousness. This is fairly obvious.

Fairly typical.

@Aaron Truth Statistically speaking the odds are heavily against your relationship working. I hope it works out.

@Windappreciator Or maybe, just maybe, you are defending codependent, pathetic behavior because you yourself are codependent. There is nothing conscious or sophisticated about being codependent. That is not ''spiritual''. Being codependent is the lowest common denominator.

@Windappreciator And you don't think accepting that preposition is what a weak, pathetic, codependent guy would do or do you think a guy with options would accept that?

@Windappreciator What would you do if your partner told you there will be no sex in the relationship? Would you accept that preposition or would you look for another partner?

@Peter Miklis You have arrived to a healthy and holistic perspective of porn. There are excesses in porn, does not mean that you vilify the entirety of porn. Doing so would create a fragmentation and denial of the innate desires humans have for sexual expressions.

@Tanterra Lol

1 - I would not have an issue with it because I don't have a neurotic relationship with sex or porn. 2 - Open your mind to the possibility that a significant percentage of women do porn because they want to do porn, and not because they are being exploited. That's some mental gymnastics you made up to vilify porn. Your attitudes towards sex, masturbation and porn, and the attitudes of a religious fudamentalist towards sex, masturbation and porn are very similar.

@SgtPepper Porn is banned in most Arab countries. You are very deep and deluded into the nofap movement, I don't think I will be able to get you out of it. One day you will realize that sexual repression is indicative of a low level of psychological development, it does not work, most men who are obsessed with it are simply having a neurotic overreaction due to their lack of options with women, and most men who are already successful with the opposite sex are not doing mental jerk offs about how unethical porn or masturbation is. But anyways, I hope it works out for you (spoiler alert, it won't because sexual repression does not lead to consciousness).

@Opo What do you mean? Do you think only superhumans are confident, charismatic, grounded and have options with the opposite sex?

@SgtPepper Why do you think humans become more sexually open as they become more psychologically developed? For example if you study the least developed countries, you will notice that these countries neurotically suppress their sexuality, on the other hand, the most developed countries in Europe are the most sexually liberated countries (countries with the highest human development index). As you can see, humans tend to become more sexually open as they become more developed, not the other way around. Why is that?

@Jacob Morres Becoming confident, passionate, grounded, charismatic, etc.. is not ''self denial''. That is some incoherent mental gymnastics you just made. ''There's nothing wrong with being that, we all go through that stuff'' In the absolute sense, there is nothing wrong with anything for that matter. In the relative sense, that behavioral pattern will create unnecessary suffering, therefore, there is definitely a lot wrong with that.

Makes sense.

@intotheblack I was talking about in general about men who put up with their partner denying sex.

@SgtPepper Is taking a dump or taking a nap a high conscious activity? If not, why do you do them?

@Opo If your partner intuitively knows that you could get another partner with ease, she will never ''deny'' you sex. Women deny sex in a relationship to men they know they can get away with, men that don't have options and that are pathetic. The solution is to embody the qualities that women find most attractive (confidence, passion, groundedness, charisma, etc.) and she will most likely be the one initiating sex.

A ''great man'' would not tolerate a ''no sex'' rule, why? Because a great man (confident, passionate, a leader, conscious) is attractive to other females and therefore has many options to choose from. A great man would not have to put up with something like that, he would simply get another partner. The guy is simply needy, codependent and a doormat.

''It's important that we save these defenseless, sublime females from the wrongdoings of these male monsters'' Lol

@StarStruck The fact that it is mainstream, does not mean it's not pathetic. Such a relationship is bad for the kids.

@Preety_India You should stop having sex with that person, not because having sex without commitment is ''bad'' or inherently creates suffering, but because you are emotionally attached to him and this relationship is creating suffering in your life. It isn't healthy because it's actively creating suffering. You won't be able to let go of hearts expectations because you are emotionally attached.

@Preety_India ''How can any human being even survive without expectations, wouldn't they end up dead sooner or later?'' That is exactly my point that you fail to understand, survival is selfishness which again does not make survival ''immoral'' or ''bad'', it simply makes your survival selfish. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a monogamous relationship or a family for that matter, the problem occurs when you delude yourself into thinking that what you are doing is not survival and is not selfish. Your expectation for a monogamous relationship after a guy has sex with you will create unnecessary and deep suffering, it will also severely limit your psychological growth and development, this is painfully obvious and I am certain you intuitively know this. If you never had any expectations what would happen in practice (not in theory) is you would feel deeply connected and joyous with this moment. That's what happens in practice when you let go of expectations.

@Preety_India Wanting to have a monogamous relationship is selfish simply because its main objective is to advance and guarantee your survival (psychologically, emotionally and physically) that does not mean is a ''bad'' or ''immoral'' thing, but it is categorically selfish. Just like a guy wanting to have sex with multiple women is also selfish, categorically different than wanting to have a monogamous relationship but selfish nonetheless. Not only is the expectation of a monogamous relationship selfish, it also creates a lot of suffering for you. Why? Simply because you cannot force anybody to have a monogamous relationship with you, that is completely out of your control. Selfish does not necessarily mean bad, and there is nothing wrong with survival, you just have to survive consciously and don't delude yourself into thinking that your survival is ''above'' or ''pure''. It's just survival. By the way, the desire for a monogamous relationship is what I am describing as selfish, I am not talking about deep connections or emotional bonds. You can have deep connections and unconditional love for people without wanting to have a monogamous relationship with them, or projecting any expectations on them.