fergal

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About fergal

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  1. That's pretty interesting. I have realised lately that I argue in my mind a LOT with other people about what they've done or should have done or shouldn't do. Often people that I care about or people that irritate me in some way. What I've found more recently, is that if I take something that is annoying me enough to be arguing in my head about it, and I listen very carefully to what I'm saying and then start writing down what it is that I'm annoyed about (writing seems to be important for some reason) and then start writing down some ideas about WHY I'm annoyed about that; I find that there is a lot of really useful information there. Invariably I find that it's some part of my mind trying to communicate something important to the conscious part of me. (i.e. I am actually talking to myself) Basically that whatever is irritating me is a match for some trauma in my past. This has been a really valuable way of digging up my hidden beliefs about the world and a really valuable way of clearing trauma. This is the path that led me to find hidden trauma and getting mdma therapy to begin processing that. I think that the fear from trauma prevented me from actually interacting with people, leaving me to have these imaginary conversations that never processed the energy because they weren't real conversations. The real conversations were hard for me especially at the beginning but the arguing imaginary battles in my mind has reduced. I'm guessing the energy behind them has been getting dissipated in some way.