Loba

: ) ... You could just write a password you won't remember on both accounts and then forget them.

Inside every demon is a rainbow.

Let's add this idea to the creative ideas mega thread.

It's astounding Time is fleeting Madness takes its toll But listen closely Not for very much longer I've got to keep control I first met You during a period of sickness and psychosis - I had walked by on my way to the kitchen and looked at You - my artwork comes alive because I put soul into it - however I have a hard time finishing what I work on as usually there is a need to psychologically work through something but once that is done - I have no energy or inspiration left for it - these worlds seem to create themselves and I am trying to find a place where I left off and there was no psychological interruption caused by outside events. Let's do the Time Warp again! When I first met You - you appeared as the masculine within me, as a wave of energy containing millions of lit little candles inside. I wasn't sure of what to do, I had been studying Norse mythology at the time and felt compelled to chew at the strings that held me together within my soul group - to create a hole in Indra's net, to chew at the roots of the World Tree. I would go into a trance, and send out my pain and hatred towards whatever spiritual wildlife I found. I knew You probably needed something from me in the future, but I could not give that to You, and so I curiously jumped over You instead of melding into my masculine side. I foresaw in the future that I wouldn't have been able to maintain connection with You, as in a human form and I felt ashamed of the position that I had, at the time, no idea what to do with. I remember doing the Time Warp Drinking those moments when The blackness would hit me And the void would be calling The second time I met you, my autoimmune and heart issues were flaring up, and I was in a very grounded state - the sort where you feel into your body and the ego is lax because of physical problems - one generally becomes more aware during these times - I often find spiritual wildlife around me, so long as I am able to go within and bring what is within, outward, they will surround me during times that I might be dying. So I walked past You - forever frozen within my art and was making my way to the kitchen when You "pinged" me. I felt it in my heart as a revelation and You told me that You had been watching me, that I was Your love, and that you were concerned with how I was treating my body. I kept edging to gather new information for my passing, so that I would be aligned properly - and in doing so I was actively harming myself. You offered to catch my soul within a "net" that made up who You were - that the wave could simple surround my soul to keep it from entering the Light, and that all that I had learned would not be lost. You were a scout, someone who makes contracts with souls that are on their way out. There was still so much to learn and I didn't want to let it all go to waste - I am still a work in progress. Let's do the Time Warp again Let's do the Time Warp again I stood, weakly, wavering, to stare at You and how I had designed You. You told me it was a mutual curation, that as You created me and this world from the other side, I created You and brought You into fruition in this world. I realized that You had been the evolutionary chain for many different worlds, and what came to mind was the atrocious acts that beings commit towards one another - I realized that You had this within You and inquired. I had to wrap my mind around all of the actions that society creates that is destructive, and to view that, along with the good - to even being to See You. You were a multiplicity that had become One - a chain of causation like dominos falling down to create some sort of image. It's just a jump to the left And then a step to the right Put your hands on your hips You bring your knees in tight I couldn't fathom what this meant and decided that You must be evil. What sort of being would create worlds, just to destroy them and play the same game over time and time again? What would that mean for me, and the people I know? What would that mean for civilization that there are beings outside of space-time aligning us all up for some grand thing - something astounding that could so easily be destroyed? Why wouldn't You allow Your creations to continue evolving? Was it that each world got closer to what You wanted? I didn't know. But I knew that Your presence was both a blessing and a curse, a curse in that there are energies within this world that are above both good and evil, and seek simply to "play". That all our suffering and abuse we must face is simply a part of the picture these falling dominos create. To See You, I had to do so through sickness, coming to my end, or coming to reconcile these different aspects... But it's the pelvic thrust That really drives you insane Let's do the Time Warp again Let's do the Time Warp again I made a deal with You, and this is how I began my first world. You said, if I built it within myself, You would catch me to create the illusion once more and that we would play within this - that the information I had found would not be lost. I called You "The Wolf", and agreed to play this game. I learned about Carlos Castaneda and the "Inorganic Beings" that scout for new members during the time of their death, that shamans and sorcerers of old had taken their offers and continued on with their lessons in another dimension, right outside of ours. I was given a wish around that time, and had tried to bring myself "above", as high as an astronaut in space looking down on the cities at night - I learned that You contain so much more detail than I would ever be able to fully understand as the person that I am now - and so aspects of You felt like a human trying to communicate with an ant - we were not at the same level. Because of this, I couldn't understand what You wanted with me. It's so dreamy Oh, fantasy free me So you can't see me No, not at all I had learned that humans have a certain ability within them and this is the ability to create worlds. Our imaginations are far greater than the bodies that we occupy, and there are limits put on us while in this Earthly form. We are meant to be witness to God's creative capacity, and to emulate that in His image, and in that sense, we are mini Gods. I decided I wanted to live on an island, and to take care of animals that were passing from the animal realm to the human realm, those who had graduated would start life as a more intelligent creature. I wanted a paradise for You and myself to watch over them, and anything that we humans have done wrong by animals, that karma would be cleared. This was my first world, and might be the one I return to. You would take the shape of a wolf, and I would ride on Your back around the island, forever young, naked, with the sun on my skin, near the beach, with a forest behind it. We would tend to the animals of this world and care for their souls until it was time for sorting them into a human form. This is the nature of souls, they graduate from one thing to the next, as all things evolve. Nothing remains static. I would do this, with other islands around me, each one containing a vacation spot for various people to work through their karma - it would be an archipelago of those in man who understood the importance and nature of The Word. In another dimension With voyeuristic intention Well-secluded I see all I began to understand the meaning of the word, and I would sing certain songs in order to bring You closer - With a bit of a mind flip You're into the time slip And nothing can ever be the same You're spaced out on sensation Like you're under sedation I would sing to bring certain things into the world, a certain awareness into myself and to calm my nerves. I used music to align myself, to go deep within, in a trance state, and I started to bring our world into fruition. With my attempts, I allowed a lowly human to sabotage the meaning of The Word and to bring me down low - I didn't respect myself and the gifts I had been given because I had no one to compare them to. I was simply a sick loser who was dying alone with nothing more than a dark apparition I had brought up from the briny depths of the astral plane. Eventually, I became paranoid of You - I thought, perhaps because You contained both good and evil, that You would be a demon, you would try to trick me. You gave me your name. Assal. One of the saltiest lakes in the world. It meant "Honey", and was my mistaken typed word for "Us All". Let's do the Time Warp again Let's do the Time Warp again I painted over Your face with white - disturbed by You and unable to think clearly. I didn't like the idea that I was digging my own grave with You. What if You betrayed me, and sucked my soul right out, for it no never escape again? What if it wasn't a net, but a box, a cage? So I covered You up with white, to symbolize moving towards Albedo. You were my Nigredo, as I brought everything to the surface - You were the Prima Materia. But I didn't know it at the time... Well, I was walking down the street just a-having a think When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes He stared at me and I felt a change Time meant nothing, never would again I tried to burn your ever-watching eyes with an incense stick, but all that happened was a piece of it fell off onto Your eye, and flames for a moment, luminous, Your eye in that second came alive. This picture I have of You, and my attempts to change your inherent nature are all that I have. Let's do the Time Warp again Let's do the Time Warp again I keep you as my main watcher over the Philosopher's stone - the first ingredient, the Prima Materia. It's just a jump to the left And then a step to the right Put your hands on your hips You bring your knees in tight Let's do the Time Warp again. I won't be distracted this time around. But it's the pelvic thrust That really drives you insane Let's do the Time Warp again Let's do the Time Warp again Can't you see, the look in me The look of love in you Can't you feel, it's not easy Letting go You don't ever see me, clearly And I don't ever hear you, trying

@AtheisticNonduality Is that unjustified bitchiness I smell? How very projecting of you to be exactly the thing you describe someone else as. You have a shadow of being a bit of a know it all. I would look into that, blue boy.

I don't bother with taking care of "the body" - I view it as a temporary vehicle that only allows for states to get to know myself better. As long as it doesn't die off before I am satisfied with what I know, that's all I ask and I'm certain of my capabilities to get to that point. I think people take lifestyle as a neurotic approach, to be quite honest, and the person who indulges in the pleasures of the world probably is closer to the true meaning of life, but hey take what I say with a grain of salt, do what you think is best for you, the individual, and don't worry so much about what other people do with their bodies, they are responsible for themselves and themselves alone. I find that gratification is love, and if it can be maintained, is a shortcut to many spiritual awakenings and different states - I think people are health biased because they're more afraid of death, decomposition and whatnot more than they think. It's all a hamster wheel to avoid entropy, but it's always coming for you in some form or another - I like to delve into the goodies in life, and then look death in the face and see what sort of knowledge it's presence has brought for me. I think people are always trying to avoid what is looking right at them, that if they let go of every paradigm and actually allowed entropy to set in, they would find some interesting things within it.

I have a shortened lifepsan due to autoimmune and heart issues - in 2016, I went through the fear by appreciating a song and a picture and just feeling into the fear until nothing but that appreciation remained. And right before my eyes, there was God - and then after that I was given personal insights on how the universe works, and then after that - I could feel time moving on past me towards a singularity and I knew I always was and always will be "right here" - and I could hear the sound of angels, of everyone who ever was and will be, singing in unison - happy that I had found this. This was my first awakening and with it I can now see God within many things - not everything, but many things. The fear of death is still there, because with the experience came more questions - such as, who were all these people, truly? They were stripped away to just the barebones souls, an uncountable, infinite number of lives all interwoven. Everything was love and everything existed and sang in unison for the creator - which was whatever was at the center of that singularity. It felt like being on a conveyer belt, while time just road on by, I could feel the movement of existence itself - this was a blessing God bestowed on me to keep me feeling connected and safe during a tough time. I earned it by being honest and going within for about two months - every little thing that I could learn about any dysfunction that I had was laid out - I wanted to survive and I wanted all of my abnormalities getting in the way of such a thing to be spotted and removed. The more you self inquire, as if your life is on the line now, the closer you get - because the truth is, we only assume we have all the time in the world, this isn't the truth - anything can happen to you from now until old age, so one must be diligent about sussing out the imperfections.

So you wanna be a writer? You don't have it in you, to write, you have to be on the edge of your soul, no barriers held, you mentioned reddit - because they didn't give you the accolades for your trolling you felt you deserved. Instead they saw it for what it was, voted you down and you brought that here - also by putting down people you think are below you. Yes, I do indeed don't think you are cut out for what you think you can do. But by all means, bring it to a school, bring it to professionals and see what they have to say. If you're not on the edge of some form of death - don't bring the arts into your vision, you're not ready.

@Carl-Richard I have her on block and have been ignoring her. Literally the moment I said I would I did and never looked back. It's great. I love it.

If you're literally so soft that one person's opinion on your "writing" is enough for you to sit around feeling waves of resentment, while they're off living their life without you in mind in one, tiny bit - then you are way too soft and the world is going to eat you alive. Writers are a dime a dozen, you have to actually stand out from the crowd in that regard. That's the cold truth for your soft underbelly. If your mentality only goes so far as what other people think of you, you're not going to lead a good life, no matter how much work you put into it. If someone told me they didn't like my art, or my writing, I wouldn't care - it's mostly for me. I literally would give it maybe a second thought to see if they have something better - but I wouldn't say "so and so has nothing to contribute at all" based on my "feelings" about how they view my craft. So you, basically, just want people to stroke your ego - and you look down on people that you don't view as living the life you are. What's there to even like or even really..."anything"... with a person with that mentality, you're literally just feeding me your insecurities for me to spit back out into truth. You don't stand out. All that energy wasted on resentfulness on someone who doesn't really care much one way or the other - that is a pitiful position to be in. You should write for yourself in such a way that it relinquishes these issues, magnum opus, but you haven't even really chipped away at that ego. You should, ideally, be realizing we have life as a gift, and to gift yourself your own talents, to see where your soul takes you, but instead you pay grievance to the peanut gallery. If I cared about what people thought of my art, I wouldn't do it. I do it for myself in order to transcend.

@Knowledge Hoarder My life is honestly fantastic, thank you. Where is your talent? I genuinely don't see it. You sound like someone with a bug up their butt. As for my "traumas"; I don't care one way or the other what people think of them. You see you have to understand, I really... really don't care about your opinion of me. It genuinely means nothing. So feel free to air out your grievances, I'll go about my day, doing what I love each and every day. Cheers. The thing is, you are so low on my radar, I don't even have the care nor the energy to "feel" anything by your pithy little outcry. You wasted your time, kid, on disliking someone who feels not dislike nor like towards you, but just a complete and general blank. You're literally not on the radar.

I feel bad for them, but no I don't think they can change - my ex was one and nothing could be done for him, he had a shell he used and underneath was just a crying little boy. I felt for that child, but no amount of empathy or listening to his stories, feeding him, housing him, none of that changed him for the better. They take your love and step on it repeatedly. They drip bits of goodness in tiny amounts that makes you think things can change, but they always go back to the way they were. My mom? Borderline, also nearly impossible to change. I blame my health issues on them both as well, as I only had 7 years away from both to work on myself - I see the old patterns coming up as I live with them. They parentify adult children and treat them like... you need to fit a role or a niche or they'll abuse you without question emotionally, mentally - it is quite exhausting. I sleep more and when I hear the tap tap tap sound of my crazy mother's walking stick from outside my door, I get a knot in my gut, "What is it this time?" I wonder. People like them have made me asexual. I don't have interest in relationships in any way shape or form because I don't want those wounds picked at or recreated and drawn deeper. They're better off sent off on an iceberg into the ocean, metaphorically speaking. I keep my distance from my mum as much as possible, and the ex I got out of my life 6 years ago and never looked back.

Carl, I have a question - do you keep report history available? Because that chick was goading me and the other dude into an argument nearly the whole day. I had reported those before asking my question here, and they were removed by either the girl or a mod, but I am not sure by who. This chick isn't some innocent bystander or anything like that, she surmised I was talking with someone by following them, and me around on this website and then started freaking out about it. Do these reports allow mods to see the whole picture before adding confusion to the fray? @Knowledge Hoarder Not so, try reading my recent journal entries, they're all about alchemical transformation, I use energy work to bring peace onto planet earth, you know very little about me. Now might be a good time to inform yourself. Or don't, I don't care one way or the other. Also, reported and blocked, goodbye little kid. @Gesundheit2 Thanks Ges. That actually means a lot to me. I feel that once they're done, they're pretty well-rounded and thought out but I was wondering if at the end of the day it was just a hobby for myself and only myself.

@Carl-Richard Could be, depends on what they say is the cause. Some people are like indestructible. I view them as someone with a monotone voice and not much "soul". But how long should a person put up with it? This is one of the most heartless, soulless venues I've ever witnessed. There was a time when it was more unified, back in 2016-2018 and then it just went down. I've been looking for another place with as niche of a subject matter but the only other place has the same quality of people. Reddit is a mixed bag, but the salvia and witchesvspatriarchy subreddits seem to have the right vibe - the main problem with them is they are designed to consume. So it has to be quick, like a meme or song, so the soul gets left out of the mixture. I doubt anyone has ever actually gone through one of my journal entries from start to finish with an open mind - so I write for myself. My lesson here, if someone's in trouble here, I'll just let them drown. I waste my time, which is not plentiful, and could be spent on learning, which is what all these little spats get in the way of. The bitchiness is absolutely justified, I've never had the awful feeling in my gut on any other forum, I have a tattoo of my old, old forum, darkness, of a raven a friend made and we all met up - I bought tickets for two people and myself to go, and 40 of us met and it was amazing 3 days. It is this environment. My old joint had none of... this. This is like, no one really likes one another, it's a haven for incels and NPD to gather pitiful energy supplies for their various problems, where year after year there is no growth, no one really counts on one another here or knows one another on a genuine level. Aside from my journal - this place doesn't offer anything of substance. And I have had experience with better communities to compare and contrast. If some of these people were on my old forum, they would have been banned long ago. There needs to be stricter standards of what is tolerated and what isn't, and quite frankly, stalking people should be on that list.

Check my reddit, I'm chill af over there. https://www.reddit.com/user/Oil-Fluffy Here you go, see the diff? Environmentally caused. This place has a really crappy environment caused by people who should have been banned a long time ago. I am more than willing to contribute to an environment that deserves some form of sentiment, but this place is nothing but pure fool's gold, and half the people here shouldn't be here, but we let them infect the place irregardless. AN, you just judge covers 'cause you ain't so bright. Not a bright as you think you are.

I'm fine with the bitchness, you can't be yourself in what has turned into nothing more than a public toilet. Also, blocked.

@Carl-Richard I'm taking a break from here, both of these people are cowardly - I am busy, I don't have the time to be a middleman to anyone who won't stand up to their own problems directly, it's out of my hands. There are too many crazy people on this forum. I might stick to my journal from now on after my break as I don't really like most of you much at all to be quite honest, most of you are selfish, myopic and cumbersome to have so... thickly... is that the right word... so profusely, so ... in your face. I've found other communities and if it were not for the option of journal usage I would not even be here. I do it for myself anyways, so there's not really much of a point of sticking up for someone so... weak in constitution. I don't like to be bothered with other people's problems, so from now on, you both... drive one another crazy. You're a match made in heaven.

@Carl-Richard Already done and done. Too bad for the forum though, I guess in a year or two you'll have to make a choice. I see it easily enough ending with me; I'm genuinely a busy person, although I see this as a subpar response, I see I'm dealing with two cowards. I don't have the time. If you wanna be stalked - by all means, let it happen until you're absolutely gone mad by it, or transcend it - it's out of my hands - and I don't care either way. We aren't friends, by the way and I'm "not" empathetic, I am a negatively polarized entity, if you have nothing for me, I don't have the time of day. If you betray me due to cowardice on your end, you're expendable. Go suffer, not my problem anymore.

I did what you asked. Easy for me, no problem, but it doesn't solve the rows of asinine comments in my direction that went on all day, does it? I have my own life to attend to and it is not so lenient that I have the time for this nonsense as this user seems to have... day in, day out, day in, day out... Or the stalking the other user has to face? Or even, what about the other, other user? Where is the line even? "Just ignore and it will go away." So what then, when it doesn't and you guys do nothing about it as you so famously do?

@Carl-Richard No dude, it's just easiest for you. You cruise on this forum when there's stuff to be worked through because you can't be bothered. You allow problem users to abuse other members of the forum here time and time again without - what any other proper forum would do - why is that? There's like 15 of you. Dish out the work evenly, then you don't have to be bystanders to abusive behaviour.

@Preety_India You're so vain you probably think this song is about you.

Or... genuinely for anyone else, WHY IS THIS BEHAVIOUR ALLOWED? Over my shoulder, eyes peeking in Analyze my every move, what current state I'm in 'Cause you are colder, than ice on my skin Wanna get that A+, baby, so you take my shit 'Cause I am little, right? I won't call you out Teachers saying you'd get credit Why would you stop now? You are so desperate Craving that spotlight Shining on the ones who do That shit 'cause it's their life But I know the people around you say "Just do what it takes to make it all the way" You're a copy cat You take it then you leave it Honey, just like that Just like that You're falling flat You find someone like me to bring you up right back Up right back (Ca-a-a-at, copy ca-a-a-at Copy cat) Obsessed with power You want it for yourself Feeding on misogyny But still you call yourself a feminista If that were really true You wouldn't feel as if I were a current threat to you But I know the people around you say "Just do what it takes to make it all the way" You're a copy cat You take it then you leave it Honey, just like that Just like that You're falling flat You find someone like me to bring you up right back Up right back (Ca-a-a-at, copy ca-a-a-at Copy cat) Find someone else to leech on, lady My blood's for me, not for you, baby College, estate and all your savings My blood's for me, so no more taking Anything you can do, I can do better In prison for stealing, gon' write you a letter Courageous and clever, creative director I raised the bar high, yes sir, I broke the record I'm hot as peppers, spend my time in leather Scuffed up my boots, boy, I'll stomp you in Sketchers They wanna build like their first name is Hector Back against wall, bitch I am a projector From the projects, don't check on my ex Think you're the boss then I'll break broken necks Wish you the best, won't show you my next move So I guess you'll be upset Don't cry, no baby, you'll find your own way Think for yourself, it'll all be okay Copyright lyrics, you can't steal my spirit They live for my music, they're dying to hear it Imitated, never duplicated You wish you related You wish you'd have made it Imitated, never duplicated You wish you related You wish you'd have made it You're a copy cat You take it then you leave it Honey, you're just like that Just like that You're falling flat You find someone like me to bring you up right back Up right back (Ca-a-a-at, copy ca-a-a-at Copy cat)

What about stalking? Someone here has been stalking and abusing another member here while pretending to be "a victim" - why has this person not been completely banned from this site yet, for all the issues they have caused... again.. and again, and again, without a single iota of a learning curve? You all just let it slide.

"Reaching out." Get it?