Hi,
i struggle(d) with Suicidal Thoughts myself, the only things that actually helps is complete Surrender.
Put on some nice Binaural Beats. Sit down or Lay down in a relaxed manner. Set a timer for around 30m. Focus your Attention/Awareness on the Pain completely. Keep your Mind as silent as possible. Ignore the negative Thoughts that will arise, let them pass through without Judgement. Return to Silence, everytime you realize you drifted off. Just keep the Awareness on the Pain.
If you feel intense Pain, or a near unbearable State, try it. Maybe you get a direct Experience of the Healing Power of Awareness. It is a discomfortable Process, its all about feeling deep into the Pain, the Thoughts that arise are all Bullshit. You can find some Comfort in the Fact that no Thoughts have any Relevance or Significance in this Process. Let them go, as they arise.
If you feel deep enough into the Pain, it can just - Poof! - vanish. Notice that you only have suicidal thoughts, when you feel Pain. Negative Thoughts arise from this Pain, but also feed the Pain. The Dark and Twisted Part of you (Egoic Part of the Mind) generates this Pain on purpose. Its is indeed Dark and Twisted. It is the Cause, Effect and Consequences of your Suffering.
You can heal your Pain permanently, but if you are unaware of whats causing it, it will return.
