Elevated

That's good to hear! I think it really depends on how you use them. I found that I was using it as an escape, first from some childhood stuff I experienced, then as an escape from "real" life. I learned to be able to tell the difference between using it as a coping mechanism and using it as a genuine source of enjoyment. The former would leave me feeling numb and tired, whereas the other would leave me excited enough to want to stop playing and talk about it with some friends haha. I came to the decision that it was too often becoming a coping mechanism. I needed to put more effort into creating a ecosystem of thriving mechanisms.

I empathize with how you feel. I remember selling all my video games after being addicted for years and getting more work done than I ever have in my life because of it. Then about a year and a half later I suddenly had the urge to buy a new console and start playing them, I just wanted to relax sometimes and not have to always be "on my purpose" all the time. I gave in. It took me nearly 5 years to finally sell them again. I spent a lot of that time being very disciplined and successful pursing a degree I'm very passionate about, but the "relax sometimes" turned into "relax whenever I have time away from studying." Missed out on a lot of personal growth because of that even though I was still doing well in school. A really good excuse. Point being, stay strong and stay on your purpose. The further you go the less all that low consciousness shit will appeal to you.

I'd say one of the most profound books I read was John Bradshaw's, "Healing the Shame that Binds You." I had been locked in shame for years and really had no idea that's what was happening. Once I read the book it was like a tadpole realizing it lives in toxic water and the transition to land and clean air has always been it's choice to make. I had already been into self-improvement for quite some time, but that was the first book that guided me to emotional wellness. I am kind of cheating with this one because it's not a book, but, Leo's Ultimate Life Purpose Course is probably one of the best self-improvement programs out there. It will give you such an immense degree of clarity and purpose that you'll be like a magnetic arrow flying through life attracting only the things that serve your life purpose. I did it at the beginning of quarantine and it's fucking spooky how the right opportunities, the right book, the right conversation, the right trip, have just appeared in my life. The percentage of Leo's viewers who haven't done the course is probably terrifyingly low for how powerful it is.