Hulia

Where does he have six-pack??? On the typing fingers? ?

Gooood. I was already thinking, I am a bore decently walking a street like an old goose never trying to jump and fly

@seeking_brilliance ? Imagined you doing little jumps now and then while walking the street an a settlement Anc can you prolong a leap in an impossible way in a waking life? Because I am not sure whether I am recalling a dream or waking state, where I did it.

no Where could I do it? There are always some desks and chairs around, And when not, than this is a car, which is around

In dream or in waking life?

@seeking_brilliance I tried it already but without effect. Normally if don´t recall a dream shortly after awakening, I won´t be able to recall it later either. I guess, I need to go to sleep more focused and determined.

@seeking_brilliance You are so right to have gone into the realm of dreams. I will follow you when the autumn comes. I will proceed technically. No intuition any more. Old good techniques. I will go on with Waggoner. He is really a pearl. I just want to read him in a right state of conscienceness not to miss anything. By spring I want to be able of lucid dreaming. And go on. I am a talented dreamer, I´ll become a master some day. Right now I need to work on the most important thing - not to forget them. I remember so good that man with a child on his arm, the echo of his steps and his voice in the empty dark school building. The troubled look of his dark eyes from below when he spotted me on the stair, since nobody was supposed to be in the building. Why don´t I remember the rest? But I will! Maybe you can recommend some other books focusing primarily on techniques (since interprete I can also myself). If not I´ll google.

!In the Grand scheme of things" nothing matters. Also you going nuts because of the gender roles. Doesn´t matter. Just go on ?

Movie.. series.. what is the difference? I will never understand

Not my problem, if you "help out" without beins asked to. Mind your business

I was on a holiday. And I learned a boy, he was our neighbor. I liked him ok. But he never showed much interest in me, was most of the time cool and lazy. It was mostly me who came over to him on the beach or joined him on the bank when he was reading (do I disturb?). Well in the corner of my mind I noticed that he was generally glad to see me, but I wasn´t sure. Who knows? His father had a high position in some supreme court, his parents rich, maybe the girls run after him, and he is just tired and thinks I am one of them, who knows. How did I know all that? The sister of my grama was a manager in this holiday facility. She knew everything about everyone and never missed to inform us. One evening in the disco (which the neighbor never visisted) I learned another boy, he didn´t care aboout looking needy or that stuff, he showed much interest in me! And he definitely didn´t come from rich prick´s familiy. Well we had less in common than with the neighbor, but this one is interested in me and is more or less on the same level of social ladder. So I spent days and nights with a new guy, my neighbor with a book on the bench not far away. At the end it turned out that the other guy was ineterested only in sex. But well it was not a big surprise and we didn´t have a lot in common anyway. A year later I was spending again my holiday at that place. And how it comes, the last year neighbor´s family was also there. I began to spend a lot of time with his sister. I literally fell in love with her - she was so amazing - so sunny and honest and open. She told me once that her brother had quite a tough time because of me, he locked himself in the room and cried and didn´t let somebody in. That they were afraid, he would do something to himslef. "Oh!- I thought - he seems to be really interested in me" I saw the guy sometimes in the university after that holiday, he wouldn´t even tell "hallo". How crazy is it? So his sister tries to put us together. And they play that summer the whole time that song "A year has passed since we have parted, but the fate has made a turn...and blah-blah-blah" We fall into each other. He´s become a year older, it got better than the year before. We had that classical date. In his car with champagne on the top of the hill with the sight of the sea below. Honestly I don´t remember if it came to sex that night (it should, right?), but I can remember, that he showed these childish cute traits of his sister - which I enjoyed so much. Next day he didn´t show up. And I heard that his parents were going to break up the holiday and leave next day. But he didn´t speak a lot to me at the day. In the evening (our last evening) he didn´t show up in the disco. So I found the most brutish guy looking like the lowest social class - all tatoos and skinhead and flirted with him. We were dancing together. My guy still didn´t show up, but his parents did. I saw them staring at me, so I pushed myslef tighter to the tatoo-guy. Next evening they were leaving. He in his car with a buddy. He offered me to give a drive home. And though I still had a couple of days in front of me, I selected to show him, that I was not going to have fun without him and joined. But either my hint was too subtle or he was not interested in this piece of information. He didn´t ask for a phone number when dropping me at home. Not that it bothered me, we wasn´t that close. But wellcome to my life: a guy would rather take his life than make an effort to be with me And I was missing his little sister. Though she wasn´t that little - 1,95 at her 13, quite a figure at the beach, but she was so at ease with herself being higher than anybody else. P.S. Well there was also one more guy, whom I learned on the day of departure, when the 1st guy didn´t show up. I was so busy with the thought that he is just my distraction from being upset by the other guy who didn´t show up after romantic evening, that I haven´t noticed that he was good, really good - this new beach guy. We spent maybe 3 hours fooling around. It was a storm, big waves, and we jumped and dived and hunted each other in the water, then crawled exausted on the beach and were lying on the warm bolder talking nonsense to each other. When we were in the water I was constantly adjusting bikini top because of the waves. "You don´t need to do it, - he told, - I have already seen everything". He said it so normally without silky smile or something, that I relaxed but still cought his distracted glances now and then What should this guy have thought next day, when he didn´t find me on the beach as agreed? That he was a looser, that he needs a pick-up adviser? But these were just circumstances, bad circumstances.

@Preety_India It´s ok. Dont´t cry. We hate each other ?

Did you watch a movie "Normal people"? I will never undertsand it. Never. I mean the male character in it.

I can remember a dream from last night! Or rather a small fragment. But what stroke me, there was a man with a child in this dream. Also in the previous dream, which I could remember, also in it there was a man with a child. In the 1st dream it was a dentist with a small daughter, I band her shoelaces. In the 2nd dream there was a teacher with his daughter in an abondoned school bulding,

I am sure you will be doing well. Because you are smart and easygoing. And connected! It´s so simple to talk to you, the girls will love it!

You are writing in my journal! Behave yourself!

It´s a pitty. I do like Rupert Spira a lot. The way how he looks at people

@Zeroguy Zero, do you also think, my body is a hell? I don´t get it! Why?

Jacket and blond hair? ?

I find the line pretty stupid tbh What was it again? Her smell is a paradise and her body is a hell? All the men liked it, but I don´t get it. Do you guys feel so cracked when you see a female body?

Is it your value scale from jacket to nightcap? ?

Actually when think about it. I don´t ask any questions. I thought at first that I should have asked some qustions because everybody does. But I didn´t. I don´t know what you want from me.

I have asked a lot of questions on this forum. What question in particular do you mean? Which of them is stupid? I want to answer! If I can

You mean a nightcap? Why is it stupid? This guy has sometimes weird tastes, like a village teacher in a jacket, vulgar women exposing naked butts while lying on the cars. Who know, maybe he would like a nightcap too.

You returned because you cannot live without me, you fool