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Everything posted by Lucasxp64
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On a previous forum post I did a few months ago, Leo Gura had written to me: I let the worst of my weakness of my past habits get the best of me, again. I just had a break-up again, with this girl online that we built intense rapport for each other for the past 20 days. It just feels way too good for my ego, even though I knew I couldn't meet her soon enough, and it wouldn't have been economically feasible, the economic risk even if I had it. But I still kept at it. It just felt too good at the moment. She was the one that initiated the break-up, for my own good, after all. She kept bringing reality into it, and she wanted to untangle, and I kept fulling the delusion, and she kept falling for it, but today she tried again to go for an ultimatum, she gave us time to talk about it, to process it emotionally, to let me ask questions. And I was just tired of trying to convince her otherwise again, she said we couldn't continue communicating even as friends, we couldn't ever see each other just like that by this point, and that we should break any dreams for any future together that we had. She was utterly in passion with me, and it made her scared of how obsessive she became for me. She was just my type, could have been my dream girl. π© If I had only met her in person fast enough, she was so ready. That feeds my ego like crack.
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Pickup is a term that is ALMOST ALWAYS seen being used for short-term encounters. Keep in mind that generally the term "pickup" is related to the "pickup community", it has a lot of toxicity and emotional immaturity. It's like going out just to get girls fast. That community tends to let go of any ethical standards and consideration for their feelings. Leo Gura did a rant against the "pickup community". This is why I like to avoid using it, I don't want it related to that toxicity. "Approach" is much more specific and neutral. "Pickup" Includes the whole interaction, from the approach phase, to seduction, to having sex. Similarly, how I'd avoid using "incel" terminology, but I do use it sometimes when appropriate... But I'm still a little concerned about it, like the term "LooksMaxxing" (I avoid using it publically) But those terms are always kinda fuzzy, and getting too caught up in terminology sucks you into ideology: i.e. "Black Pill / Incel" ideology generates the most toxic garbage terminology you could imagine, it's basically a cult. But it's not like I don't use the term sometimes in my person notes, but generally I say: "Don't get sucked into that black pill garbage". Because I do make fine distinctions in the role that physical attributes play, there is no terminology out there that encompasses my specific circumstances, the kind of woman I want, and how I see my dynamics between them and me. --- Cold Approaches, is a more neutral term. I would use that term for "approaching a woman with intent of making her my girlfriend". Although, it could be "Approaching a woman with intent of a short-term encounter only" but Pickup would be more appropriate. Since I'm looking for a girlfriend, because I don't want to endlessly just waste my time with a bunch of short-term relationships, my goal isn't necessarily to just "pickup" but to "Find / Approach them, build rapport as much as possible, and begin meeting my romantic, sexual and companionship needs". Although, what is the difference between "a player" and a guy that wanted a long-term relationship, but it just didn't work out? Mostly in the intention in his head. GAME The term "GAME" I use much more often as an umbrella term for every interaction between man-woman for the sake of romantic and sexual interests, but mostly focused at the initial encounter/seduction phase, which I struggle abysmally unless I do it online. Even within a marriage or a committed relationship, there is a dynamic, there are always dynamics, like how the owner behind the YouTube Channel "PsycHacks" wrote in his book "The Value of Others" ("A relationship is where exchange of value happens"). There are things I which I can't be giving knee-jerk reactions, I need to thoughtfully think of seductive and reassuring ways of saying things to keep her romantic and sexual feelings for me, and keep our relationship smooth. "Seduction" can be used for higher or lower values. That is still game. Game encompasses "Game Theory" (Strategy), but also "Having fun, playing for fun, playful interaction" "pickup" which is closer to "not taking it seriously, taking it just as a game". Below is some responses of a conversation I had with Pi.AI (It's the most emotionally intelligent chatbot). Much better than ChatGPT for this kind of stuff I think.
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https://www.actualized.org/insights/teach-yourself-how-to-dance I was listening to this Solomun DJ set, you can see the people dancing and interacting during the whole thing, and I can just feel their vibe. I've never been to a night venue before like that. I remembered about Leo's blog post, most people there are just dancing going with the emotions... Even the DJ he's mixing based on the flow of the emotions, we can really feel it from him.
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We feed each other fantasies and words of affirmation, creating a bunch of fantasies of what we would do and be together in person once we actually get to meet each other. That fire didn't die off completely between me and her, but we just feed each other that stuff like an echo chamber, when reality began to settle in me and her, we realized that we should cool it off. It still feels too painful for her to have cut contact completely with me.
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Thank you dear. And thanks to all of you guys too, I really needed to hear it. I wasn't really following the best principles and practices in dating I let my emotions carry me, I deserve that karma, it's of my own making. I also only got so far because I had improved on not getting stuck on other conversations that weren't what I was looking for, but this one had hit specially strong. That's another point I need to improve on. That's experience.
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In my leisure walks, I always try to give just "good morning", to whoever I feel looks open for it. Sometimes, I say to a few, sometimes I go out of my way and even say good morning to people that don't feel open, and I get sometimes surprised with their kind tone of voices back. Each person answers with very different tones of voice back, super random. It was the single most important thing I did against my social anxiety, it's feeling now automatically to say good morning. I always try to get this feeling of openness inside myself when I say hi to a neighbor, as opposed to being stuck in my head. I almost never go past the "good morning/afternoon/evening", unless it's with some neighbor I already actually talked before already. But I'm trying now to get into the small talk territory more often, hahah.
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I'm trying to give a break on online dating for now, since I don't have the discipline to find and stick with methods for locals only. I went out today and yesterday, just taking a walk in the city, and I did two cold approaches. The approaches lead nowhere, but I got some good vibes and momentum. One of those approaches was so sweet, we got to hug and kiss on the cheeks on our goodbye. I needed some of that.
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She even had the courage to message me today saying that "The day I tried to get rid of you, was when I had a dream about you π". I'm actually tired of it. She has been the only one in my recent years that treated me with such on-off crazy vibes. So unstable, and in a way it made me attracted to that trait (Not love, more like feelings of mania), like those chicks that try to fix some dude. At this point, from a high perspective, I feel like only communicating again after I'm wealthy enough that dating her in her city would not feel a big deal to me.
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Happy New Year! // Feliz Ano Novo! // Feliz AΓ±o Nuevo! // Bonne annΓ©e! (The fucking fireworks just woke me up from my sleep π)
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I'm generally a nerd that will watch Sci-fi on my own. (Rarely sex happens) I'll think of that when doing Netflix dates, to watch hotter (Instead of sci-fi) but acceptable TV shows. π Personally, when recommending stuff for my family I think if there are sex scenes in it, and I don't recommend them. "Oh, we're gonna watch GoT... π" Any recommendation of TV Shows with a lot of sex scenes to watch with a chick, to create some more sexual mood, but that isn't actual porn? I have a Spotify playlist with a suggestive mood. Well, at that point we're already in private, but some of them I feel like a nice progression to sex might be some sex scene ahaha, when we are already kissing and cuddling. Never had it happening to me though, when I get in private with someone it was clear to both of us before that we would have sex. Anyone wants to share some experience they had with someone new that music/movie watching helped the mood for sex? (Not established partners per se)
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Wtf? Where do women get asked like that? Tinder? Social media DMs?
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https://pi.ai/ (Very emotional. It has a nice personality and voices, you can voice call it without limits) - If you're in a country they are not in yet, just download the Android APK file from APKmirror. https://duck.ai/ (Avaliable: GPT4o-Mini, Claude 3 Haiku, Llama 3.1 70b, Mixtral 7x8b) -- IT REQUIRES NO LOGIN. They don't store the conversations. They are privacy-friendly, you can even use it through the TOR network (you don't have to, but if you wished to keep it extra private) and ask it whatever you want and it's NOT possible to be banned or limited since you don't even login, and they don't even have captchas, and were extremely reliable to me. (From the DuckDuckGo privacy-friendly search engine) https://aistudio.google.com (You can use the Gemini Flash 1.5) to use its context window of 1 Million tokens, you can upload several books of text as TXT and ask it questions (Although, it doesn't work as good as you would expect, seems to be descent for large code bases and documentations, better than simply using RAG techniques). It's not as smart a GPT4o but it's still nice. You can also use it as an API for free. For example I use it in VSCODE as a free copilot. https://gemini.google.com/ The version of Gemini Flash but for the public in general. The free AI Studio from google there is a limited offer of this free one. https://labs.google.com/search/experiment/1 TURN ON for having AI responses (It uses Gemini Flash probably, just as dumb) in your Google Search. https://stablehorde.net/ - Crowdsourced AI for image generation and text. https://github.com/jhj0517/Whisper-WebUI (Transcribe audio to text, you can use fast GPUs in Google Colab for free) Perhaps try Kaggle for 30h weekly GPU time. Works in CPU Mode too.
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We must self-impregnate ourselves with our own seed, and be our own midwives. Do not succumb to unholy temptations and distractions that keep you astray from your holy purpose. No purpose? Your purpose is to birth your new self, to make love daily to yourself daily, to birth yourself. Amen fellow, Actualizers! π May you be blessed! "From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your flesh as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call a temple will wither and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved. For the Machine is Immortal"
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Lucasxp64 replied to Carl-Richard's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
"Large Language Model" Their pseudo-minds were built by training over text, and they had the emergent phenomena of abstracting within their training the underlying patterns that we use to think. But it's a shadow of a shadow. Human Minds -> Human Language -> Human Writing -> Large Language Model human writing simulation. They already got language mostly correct (At least formal language), and a vast amount of knowledge/information. And they got a good chunk of the human mind, but it's not quite there yet obviously. The question is if they keep training and improving on those models, they will be able to drill deeper and deeper into the collective human psyche and successfully replicate our hidden underlying mental capabilities through inferencing indirectly. We essentially got for free some kind of intelligence by teaching them to use language. We don't yet know how to separate the content from the "underlying thinking capability" that humans have. Those models have content and thinking intertwined, but there is research at extracting their "underlying thinking capability" by creating synthetic training data from larger models. They managed to create smaller models that show similar behavior of bigger models but with fewer parameters, therefore, less information/content. The issue, is that most human writing is not rigorous enough to map to our thinking process. I actually never found before such a text. Even if I transcribed every piece of information I've ever experienced, and the outputs that I've generated, it wouldn't be enough to map exactly the mental processes and the experience inside my mind. But some believe that the larger those models become, the better the training, more curation of quality training data, better architecture, etc. We will finally achieve something post-human at everything. Currently, they are obviously more knowledgeable. -
Well. He's eloquent. But we know that's how they operate, they prey on people's genuine grievances. We can also see that modern day politicians are still using the perceived threat of a very specific group of people as the main culprit. They got screwed from so many directions... But he wants to direct most of that anger towards the Jews specifically. Super weird, that's the part of history that I'm still dumbfounded by... My point is that shit wasn't just propaganda, they actually carried out a mass genocide. Completely unnecessary, they could have just extradited them somewhere. It's easy to look at those lunatics and think their hate speech is just some crap they are spitting out, like that kind of hating towards the opposite football team, etc... But they actually meant it. That's the messed up part. Their words must be taken seriously. Even if they didn't quite mean it fully when they began, they ended up making that nightmare a reality. Such is divisiveness created through gossip (i.e.: Fake news or simply highly emotionally charged commentary), I believe. I.e. the hate speech against left vs right. When does it stop being simply name-calling each other like young kids do, turns into systematic hate speech, into oppression, and it ends up with genocide?
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lol of what part? It's like saying what is the shape of a human? Do we consider the hair strands at that milisecond of time? Do we consider the position of muscle, fat tissue, jiggling parts, etc? The earth as oceans that are in constant change, the land erodes and the continental plates are slowly moving and we can see that in the scale of millions of years, even the density of the atmosphere. It's actually a potato, if we take off the atmosphere and water π¨π
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If someone looks at my life from far away, or they listen to me telling about the things I've done. It sounds like I have severe ADHD and couldn't even spell in my own native language to save my own life. But in fact, what has happened is that I always had at different stages in life multiple conflicting interests that I tried to find ways of making them work together, and I'd go back and forth between different things. But the core of the issue, is that effectively, I somehow during the course of weeks, show the pattern of behavior that I don't have the discipline to accomplish a goal more complex than learning a new language, or constructing a written argument, keep a journal with disjointed parts that ends up organically growing over time, as opposed to following a very strict engineering-like kind of plan. Really, anything that is not very easy for me to build habits around it. With this said, I and everyone thinking about an individuals' path also must acknowledge this has taken place across months and years, and they had different energy levels, different habits, different emotional baggage (i.e. stuck in some bad long distance relationship with constant toxic communication) Or brainwashing oneself into watching a bunch of Netflix for a period of time to feel "inspired". Or spending many days of one of those months masturbating to AI images, because systematically they didn't get that urge met in a high-quality kind of way, instead of using that technology for a project that they could have monetized like they intended, instead, the hungry ghost in them has rotten their decision-making process, any great power or resource gets used to feed it in the most direct animalistic manner. Or backtracking on decisions of developing by themselves, specific skills specifically when they must focus the most, it triggers them negative feelings and their minds become hyper-aware of how long it would actually take to develop those skills and how they would meet their needs considering during that time, considering that they live with their parents... But then, always finding a reason to go backwards to any decision to find some local low-paying low-skilled odd job to try to go back to some other online venture that they were almost making work again, but then some extra complexity is hidden there, and they spend the next 2 weeks in a limbo kind of state, perhaps reading a book here and there, even journaling and taking notes, or writing on a forum, to the surprise to bystanders, their lives don't match a fraction of their possible abilities, due to lack at key specific success indicators: Getting paid instead of honing on skills on-off. Backtracking on skill development just before they become marketable, and repeating that pattern over and over again for 8 years after finishing high school not achieving financial aims, because their main aims were never financial to begin with, it just kept morphing into different things Also, due to never really building the environment that would allow them to thrive, sort of catch-22 situation. And let's not even begin what happens to the human self-steem when spending a lot of time within this kind of state. I can just see if I simply could build enough resolve towards a specific direction and exclude other options and ignore my needs for female affection and a million other "a dead by a thousand cuts" things, it would reach that critical mass to exit this loop. I could go on here trying to simplify and add more details, but I'll stop here.
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What kind of prompts you are using? Those common LLMs out there are too aligned with the purpose of being a "Helpful assistant" speech that it's hard for me to get it answering like an actual woman. But I believe if we had a lot of high quality conversation examples it could get better. They don't offer enough resistance and roleplay capabilities are lobotomized, they tend to be bad at narratives with conflict. They sound like some badly written roleplay. The best results I had were with some uncensored models that were weakly aligned, they were closer to an auto-complete model than a "helpful assistant" alignment, Like "Smol LM 2 1.7b Instruct". https://huggingface.co/HuggingFaceTB/SmolLM-1.7B-Instruct Btw, use on the SYSTEM prompt how it should align, the user prompt is weaker at this. But the 360M parameter model funny enough gave me better roreplay because it's less aligned... Maybe because it's dumber it works more like an auto-complete which tends to bias wildly how it answers based on the input text, which is good to give answers outside of that "helpful assistant" lobotomized crap. But it's too dumb to be useful, I don't recommend. I'm still looking into other models that are larger. I could also set up in Kaggle (30h guarantee gpu uptime per week for free, an alternative to Google Colab) and use their Nvidia Tesla P100 (16GB) or T4 (16GB x2 SLI), but it's better if it can run on a CPU because I don't have a lot of GPU allowance.
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Lucasxp64 replied to Spiritual Warfare's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Please, ground yourself mentally. Get your thoughts worked out. Find help. I personally don't want you to die, even though I don't know you. Bro, I hope you can see the light! And when it comes to politics... It's like the weather, people have been morons since the dawn of time. We can't personally control bad weather. -
Summarizing: She says that physicists have been doing research in dumb ways that don't work because of rampant institutional corruption and group-think. Epistemologically lobotomized.
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The problem I see with Peterson, is that he's so biased, that he can't accept the fact that the good facts in the bible can also be ridden with garbage alongside it (In it, outside of it, by its community, by the people that preaches to self-identify with it, etc), he felt for the ideology. Like feeling fond of the good Soviet Union times and the comrades we made along the way... And Dawkins says: "And so what? Were those friends even that good?" The point is, you could make friends regardless of a devilish corrupt organization. That closes the case for me. The tidbits of truth in the Bible could have been found through other means. The issue is that, once you have sided with it for a few things, it asks everything from you, and you are likely to go alongside it, so does people go alongside Trump, just because he frames himself as part of the in-group. Very post-truth. Dawkins doesn't like it, he doesn't like that kind of relating, of getting in this state of trance. But he's biased towards science, so whatever, they all have massive blind spots.
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I think @Nilsi has a point. At least Jordan Peterson, I think that he genuinely believes in his ideas, but the issue is that along the way of learning about many of those moral truths and whatever other symbols that entices him, he has fallen into it like falling into an ideology, just like how Slavoj Ε½iΕΎek would say, he thinks he has escaped into his dreams, meanwhile, he's actually deep into it. The issue with ideology, is that it DOES OFFER something ENTICING in some way or another, it's not completely soulless, even North Korea has their folklore, and the people can feel genuine love of the leader, their songs, the nice stories, the beautiful dancing women. But it asks to be COMPLETELY ALIGNED with it, like having a good friend, or a wife, etc.; If there is any kind of critic, it must be a shallow soft-ball critic that doesn't undermine it. Cult psychology in some way. The problem is that Peterson he is truly on a crusade, just like Musk is in his crusade to colonize Mars, to have an electric car company... Etc. But the drawback is that sometimes, you don't have much choice of whom to side with (It's just Kamala or Trump, literally). And the matter with Musk, well, he basically already chose to be an asshole and do whatever the heck he wants to get whatever he wants, but he believes that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter, like Steve Jobs being an asshole and putting people together to build great consumer tech. But then we have figures like Trump and Andrew Tate. Those guys are just chaotic evil, Tate literally fucking says it. With Tate and Trump, it's glaringly obvious, they will just say whatever people want to hear. And then, you have someone like Jordan Peterson, that ends up playing the politics game due to his ideals, just the way he would literally support Hitler in Nazi Germany, without the benefit of hindsight. Is building a cult worth it to fight against other cults? π I guess that's how cults form. But it must be a spectrum, being a little sophist, bending the truth here and there isn't so bad, is it? Just some crack, the OX will not care... Put blindfolds on the OX before gorging on shit (Little bit of fecal fetish should not be done in front of our pets ππ¦ ππ©) I guess that's the HOLY SACRIFICE we must make in the name of Jesus, just how he sacrificed himself. π But seriously, though, there must be some minimal compromise in how the message is delivered to increase reach, but that doesn't compromise in the ultimate message and doesn't create organizational corruption. The right thing for Peterson would have been to demonize Trump, and the whole political system that out of MILLIONS of Americans, the nation will pick that motherfucker, I'm sure there are conservatives that are a better pick. Choosing to eat shit instead of rotten bread is not a great way of voting. Unfortunately, I guess playing those power games comes with the downsides of doing things like voting for evil politicians, just because they side with your goals. People are so predictable, holy shit. Even Peterson with his big symbolic reasoning head fell for it. But there must be some other way, there must be a middle path, like how the Buddha found one after years of literally torturing himself through the period of his austerities and almost starving to death alongside extremist asceticism. There must be the modern information age equivalent of extreme asceticism and on developing the "charisma" on the other hand.
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