Striving for more

Tried to scheme hard to make money fast today & I lost. Didn't lose money but I didn't win. Had about 1K profits in my account but I was too indecisive, lost the investing profits as I took too long to sell & was greedy. The main reason I lost is i " felt as if I lost" - opposite of the winner effect. If you think you lost : you really lost. The mental fatigue I used as excuse to binge on biscuits & ice cream. Feeling impatient in life & like I keep letting myself down: too slow, still a bit too lazy, but even when I work hard, it's all to no avail because I blow it all away by being self destructive at the end (e.g work had for 9 hours, then invalidate the work on hour 10 by fucking up sleep, make a bunch off money quick but then blow it away by being greedy) Going to go for a run with music & hopefully I'll develop some presence, maybe try meditating in the park. I would wish to interreact with a cute girl but it's dark & cold so It would be most likely just creepy. Feel like I'm stuck in the same patterns every day, always working hard in the wrong way, ignoring the 80/20 rule, always leaving out important stuff. FUCK I just need more money & I want to move somewhere more exciting & enjoy life. Try & stay grateful I tell myself, others are dead, in jail & third world countries. Easier said than done, I only feel bitter.

@Leo Gura Wait what? Covid will last 6 more years? wtf? That's stupid.

If woman disagrees : High quality man eats her food. In everyday situations, he'd be an arrogant fuck. He'd laugh at their problems. During conversation he'd bite his nails & pick his nose, whilst dribbling, coughing & inadvertently spitting on your dress.

@Leo Gura I'm so confused, I thought you endorsed Tyler's programs? Is he an ego-maniac? (I'm really naïve at reading people). What do you think of tyler and Julien's adoption & of spiritual concepts

Anyway I need to get off these unproductive threads & avoid debating people. The opposite of my intention for using this forum. Time to filter out this shit & just get the results & value juice This shit is all a distraction guys. My bad.

@Roy What if you were taught to catch mercury infested Tuna, in a mediocre way? Then the FishMiester offers to teach you salmon reliably, why wouldn't you accept? Almost nobody is raised how to pick up girls, that's ridiculous. We're raised with negative programming even. Society is pretty stage blue in that regard. Stop using your social privilege as a reason that pickup is not useful for people, when it blatantly is.

@Roy Apologies about labelling it as smug & attacking you, looking back that was unfair & stupid. Your perspective is as valid as mine. I got too defensive. Clearly I get triggered too easily. I do still disagree with you on this stuff though. The vast majority of people know how to get in shitty mediocre relationships that don't end well. The vast majority of men end up settling in relationships with girls they're not that attracted to, neither physically nor emotionally. You pointed out that the fact that we exist due to people consistently procreating is somehow evidence that most men have "good social skills" & wouldn't benefit from pickup is invalid. Just cos daddy made a sperm & you appeared doesn't mean that he got lots of the women he actually wanted in his life, enjoyed his sexual life as much as he could've, became a confident man & had a variety of exciting sexual experiences. There's no point us discussing back and forth because it seems we'd agree to disagree, i'm to tired to write coherently too lol. My main point is there's soo much good coming to me for pick up, for me specifically & millions of others. I think labelling pickup as bad is unfair as it really is subjective to the guy applying it.

@StarStruck Eben Pagan's "Oppurtunity" sounds good. Haven't bought it yet but I listened to a podcast. It could be related.

Yeah leo's blog on it was amazing. But I need to reearn it properly & implement it. I find my default is rigidity & reliance on one solution & getting stuck & fixated on 1 solution or mode of thinking, the opposite of requisite variety. Perphaps journalling on your problems would help.

@Epikur WHAT THE FUCK LMAOO !! THAT'S SOO RETARTED "Get over your fear by burning to death"

@Kalki Avatar sorry my message was intended for @karkaore

@karkaore At this stage you have trust issues, I gave you too much evidence that's the guy's legit But if self taught rocks your boat, fair enough.

No one can deny, he is an powerful speaker. I feel like in a parallel universe he would be an a list actor, in the matrix, 300, & tons of epic movies.

@Recursoinominado RSD Todd you mean todd V? I Feel that he SUCKS. Energy is so off, he's got no proof of results, no hot girlfriends

@Javfly33 People shouldn't try to regulate or standardize pick up, it's a very unique thing that will be different to every individual. Tbh I think pickups great & I really don't want it to turn into this shit. I think its reached its peak already. If you're complaining about pick up then I call excuses, what else do we need. Watching Connors videos is entertaining, but 100% not something an average joe could pull off. This is not pickup. This a very handsome famous chad who could probably get away with slapping their asses or something ridiculous.

Renourishment needed : temporary journal of renourishment. Feeling frustrated & impulsive recently. Feeling like i'm behind, stuck. Stuck in all areas. Comparing myself to others. Feeling pissed off I got only 1 (fake) Friend, who is lazy & useless, & although I've been that way before, I know he won't change: YOU ARE THE PEOPLE YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH. Looool why I avoid the family, most people. Keep listening to the good music, actualized.org, keep telling myself I am the shit. I Will catch up. I will be rich. I will be a player. FUCK THIS > I'M GOING STAGE FULL STAGE ORANGE MODE, MAYBE A BIT RED EVEN. Too much exuces, no time to sit & moan & bitch & whine. FUCK THIS, I'M GOING FULL ALPHA MODE. INCREASE THE ALPHA, BECOME MORE ALPHA. PEOPLE SAY IT'S TOXIC MASCULINITY HERE, THEY ARE CONFUSED. Toxic masculinity = being aggressive bully, ALPHA is just a mode, a mindset. I can dial it off sometimes. FUCK HELPING PEOPLE RIGHT NOW, I'VE HELPED ENOUGH FAKE FRIENDS GOT NOTHING BACK. RIGHT NOW I NEED RESULTS, I NEED HIGH ENERGY, I NEED ALPHA ! FUCK THIS SHIT. I'M GOING HARD. HARDCORE MUSIC. FUCK THIS SHIT. FUCK THISSSS SHIT THE WORLD IS MINE I'M TAKING IT STAGE RED !!!!!1 I WILL GET THE PUSSY, THE MONEY, TREATING LIFE LIKE AN ALGORITHIM NOW, EVERYTHING IS PATTERNS & ALGORITHIMS The stage green shit can fuck off for a bit. No more caring about others. FUCKING CRAZY MOTIVATION, 5AM WAKE UP AT 5AM NOW CMON FUCKKKKKKKKKKK FUCKKKKKKKKKK. IM SO FUCKING FRUSTATED. I#VE BEEN STUCK IN THE SAME POSITION FOR YEARS. FUCK WHERE AM I GOING, I FEEL STUCK, AHHH NOOOOONOONOO SUCESS NOW CMON

Brain fog & fatigue severely bad now, was physically impossible for me to sleep before 4AM yesterday. Weird tingling sensation in my face & I have a headache all the time. Very hard to be productive in this state, stuff I want to do but i'm so out of it. I hope there's a solution.

Taking a break from this forum for a week to try to fix my health.

Officially now can't sleep until 2-4 AM Something is wrong with me, physically. Have a constant headache & I my body is very tense. Could be that my cracked phone is leaking mercury, I need to get rid of it. Could be strong reaction to gluten. Will need to cut out all foods like brown pasta, only eat rice & oats. But I feel really weird physically, something is off. I hope I didn't permanently mess up my neurotransmitters because I abused modafinil this month, but I haven't taken it recently & every day I can't sleep until 2-4am, & when I do sleep & wake up it feels weird like I'm on some strange laced weed even though i'm not smoking. It's frustrating because I finally had an ok sleep patter for a few weeks, & it's as bas as it could be & I can't control it. Going to take more rishi mushrooms as hopefully that will help my body go to normal, need to get rid of the phone though because It could be leaking mercury, who knows.

@Roy Bro that's such an ignorant position. Literally 95% of men don't have the social skills & confidence to attract the opposite sex. What the fuck you expect them to do? Just accept the fact they didn't have a privileged upbringing like you surrounded by social opportunities. Are poor people overcompensating when they learn how to invest money? Stop demonising self improvement. Getting better at talking to girls & learning how to please a woman in bed is a positive thing for both genders. When guys are trying to improve themselves they'll get dissuaded by arrogant comments like yours. Full disrespect for your smug attitude. You're forming an opinion probably based on 1 PUA who's a rapist or misogynist or some shit, when reality most guys are just alone & want to get laid gain confidence. & You then simplify at as "that's all it is". Not really, I believe 95% of guys would benefit from pickup, there's nothing to lose from it

What's going on there would be the exact same as people still punishing Germans because of the war. Like it's not their fault what Hitler did. The whites & blacks in south Africa need to come together & celebrate equality & harmony, not revenge, which is ridiculous because these kids weren't involved in the apartheid regime anyway.

Sleep pattern is still fucked up again. Don't feel like I'm in control, my brain just isn't shutting down until 2-3AM, even though I feel tired. 10 Days on no fap now, after couple weeks of relapsing. Soul feels better, desire for life is strong. Started edging tonight, but I jumped outa bed & put on some good music. Starting to set up my room up more, building my "infrastructure for success". Still could be tidied some more. Focus muscle is improving a bit, but still struggling with distractions. Still need to be waay more productive. At least on no fap I feel passionate, but not necessarily discipline, not in the right areas. I just need to gradually build up. But I feel so fucking impatient, I'm just so fucking ambitious, don't just mean money. I got to make it to the 1%, 1% most charismatic, 1% in technical skills, polyglot, 1% womaniser, 1% wealthiest, 1% most influential, authentic, 1 fucking percent. I'm so fucking competitive, I can't take this shit out of me. But I'm not yet disciplined. No point being competitive without discipline, completely pointless & I'll kill myself if I don't live up to my goals. Have to go back to the pain, maybe watch some fucked TV About kids in Johannesburg all trapped, so I appreciate my freedom & stop being a pussy not running towards my goals. Have to go back to my own pain too, remember how my life was - 6, mental torture, completely nihilistically self - destructive, completely lost the plot, go back to my old pain, how do I connect that to my present self? Cos my present self i'm like a 4-5 right now, & although that's fucking shit, I'm still getting too complacent. I almost want people to beat the shit out of me now, spit on my face. I fucking want it again, I need more strength, I need people to laugh at me again, tell me I aint good enough, I need the fucking spark. Because sometimes it's only when someone you know tells you you're nothing - you wake up, you have no choice but to prove the world wrong. Ahh fuck this waflling man what the fuck who the fuck am I doing just be fucking dicisplined hombre piece de mierda puta madre hombre.

Pick up Artists are Feminists. I got that insight from James Marshall. Pick Up is feminism in a nut shell, fighting back against the stage blue. It's not a disingenuous masculine sentiment, it's the most raw, authentic masculine sentiment to game a woman. What the hell is wrong with these ideas haha

@Karmadhi Bro go away with your fake philosophy, you just contradicted yourself in the same sentence. " girls won't make you happier" > "as long as basic need for love & sex are met" Exactly, basic sexual needs is important for happiness, lack of it causes suffering. & I'd argue they do make you happier, like many things, they increase happiness. Good sex, better social life, more fun, get to enjoy the feminine side of life, more confidence. It's not just about sex, seduction is a beautiful artform, I like the concept. Again, it's not all about sex, you can go on dates, socialize, go do cool things, be friends. Also I'm a game kinda guy, I love the game of life, I see life a game, I love just getting better at stuff & I plan to be 1 of the best players out there someday. Maybe it don't make me "happy", But I like learning to seduce girls, like how I like playing Ping pong, it's fun as fuck, so no I'll do what I want. I'm gonna be a player, & enjoy the fuck out of it. Wealth also makes you happier dummy, that doesn't mean it's the be all end all, but it adds to happiness if you spend it wisely. Again, a lack of it causes suffering. Fuck the fake philosophy I don't need it.

@Axiomatic