caspex

I was a coward today. It isn't a linear road. I fucked up again. I am gonna make a proper schedule for tomorrow and try to follow that. I really really really really want to improve. I am gonna try focusing more on my gut.

Just to add, since this is the dating section of the forum: Two days later one of the girls actually approached me for a friendship. Through her I made friends to maybe 80% of the women in the batch within the last few days. I was not looking for relationships so I never converted any of the friendships into one but this goes to show you that just a little bit of guts can get you more attention from the opposite gender.

These are real concerns but we can't shit on anti-aging simply because of that. It would be like being against the invention of automobiles because only the rich class would have access to it. I do think there will be a lot crazy stuff that will go down once this anti-aging stuff becomes truly real. We must be wary and figure out what to do once it becomes a possibility. However, you cannot stop anti-aging from becoming real, it is the natural next step for our species. I am grateful for Bryan Johnson because at least what he is doing is shared publicly. Eventually anti-aging will benefit humanity as a whole like other technologies. Again, I am not saying Bryan Johnson is some saint who is doing this for humanity. He is absolutely doing this for himself, but I don't think it matters in the long run.

At the start it is like a test. If you can joke back they take you into the group, if you can't you get discriminated against. Ignoring is usually saying "I am better than you, I am not gonna waste my time on you". The other person picks this up, and if you are gonna say you're better, you better prove it to him. This is why ignoring bullies is usually not a good idea. You have to hold your ground, get into a few confrontations, sometimes fights. Playing it too safe will have you very frustrated in life. Quick note about confrontations and fights, always make sure to play it smart. They should be the one to have hit you first, and you must be in the presence of a bunch of people who can act as witnesses and also stop your fight. This method works wonderfully. If you agree to go somewhere remote to fight or leave yourself open after confrontations, you are asking for accidents. Never get into street fights. I am talking a fight where people can actually prevent you from fighting. Just them knowing you are ready to throw hands is usually enough to get them off your back. During a 15-day orientation course, a big social group, mostly men, formed quickly. I never fully joined it because a lot of the dynamic felt driven by people wanting to fit in. After a few days, some guys in the group started testing me during breaks — small disrespectful comments at first, which I ignored. Instead of stopping, it escalated into direct insults. Eventually I confronted one of them in the main area where everybody else was present and asked what the problem was. He tried to play it off as a joke, then hit me first when the argument escalated. I hit him back once before people pulled us apart. After that, the harassment stopped completely, and the same people treated me very differently afterward. That experience convinced me that ignoring disrespect does not always work. Some people read silence as weakness and keep pushing until they meet resistance.

Same here. Naturally introverted too. Although I have noticed that when my heart is open, the point of the conversation shifts from thinking into feeling. I.e. meaningful discussion into having fun. From the perspective of the mind, which is the usual for introverts I'd say, a meaningful conversation triumphs a fun one. This is because after a fun conversation you come out feeling empty of meaning, as if you wasted your time. I felt this all the time. But now after practice I get that for extroverts the fun is the meaning. They are more heart centric. When my heart is very open and active, I can naturally flow into any conversation, have fun with anyone, I become naturally more energetic. I have come to love such 'meaningless' conversations because now I know it's a practice for my heart's openness and not meaningless. When your heart is active, you become naturally extroverted. A gifted extroverted person can easily have you open up your heart too, like a guru. This level of extroversion is very rare though. I still prefer the mind state though. One of my friends is naturally an extrovert. He knows so little of the world, how to do stuff and be efficient. He doesn't have any skills and nothing that sets him apart. This is because he spent all his time socializing rather than building knowledge or skill. He really needs to develop his mind instead of being in the heart all the time.

Not taking a rude comment seriously does not mean ignoring somebody, what it means is being able to hit back at them. It is not a viable expectation for yourself to not care about rude comments if you are simply gonna ignore these people or agree with them. You are being unfair to yourself. You HAVE to hit back if you want yourself to not take them seriously. I have come to a point where I take criticism very easily. They can be 100% correct and I won't give a fuck. This is because I get to decide what I think of as a problem; not them. I live in New Delhi, had some friends similar to yours. I told them to fuck off. I always turned it into a joke: "You won't get a girlfriend. Even getting a girl would be a huge achievement for you." I'd say something like, ' I got your mom last night though ' . This is the type of humor they expect. People start kicking down their insecurities onto you once they know you won't hit back. Know this, it DOESN'T MATTER even if what they say is 100% correct. It doesn't matter BECAUSE it's them saying it. With social interaction you must value relationship OVER truth. You have a clear standard set for what kind of a woman you want. The only problem you likely face is not enough action and initiative. But understand that it's YOU who gets to decide whether that's a problem or not, not your 'friends'.

I do not dispute that it is better for Bryan to accept his death, he would be a lot more happier in life once he knows what death really is. But, my concern isn't with the well being of Bryan, it is with the well being of humanity. It was often people like Bryan that advanced humanity forward. I would argue that anti-aging is better for humanity than not. This technology will come with a few wars and a lot of tragedies but in the long run it will be good regardless, as humanity learns. Sure it is madness but in the process of preventing this made up idea of death, he ultimately benefits humanity. That's how I see it. Running on fear is not necessarily a bad thing. Fear of suffering and death gave birth to the entire medical field. Moreover, who are we to say what he gets to post? Who are we to call him posting about eating his wife out 'crazy'? If he is okay with it, his wife is okay with it, what's the issue here? Fuck, he could start talking about his arse microbiome and I won't care because the man is doing good research. This is biased. A human being could also be a mech to defend the universe. There is no obligation to go back to Earth. Regardless of what you do, you would go back to the universe though. I could live 500 years and finally die and dissolve on mars, doesn't make a difference.

"I Leove your content, will you be my Gura?"

The only issue I see is the elites and government officials living on forever while the poor stay mortal. That is a genuine issue I get that. However, you need to understand that if it wasn't for Bryan Johnson it would be somebody else doing this and probably behind closed doors where the public have no idea. That is so much worse. I think you are overly afraid, humanity always pulls through. With the internet, media and politics the only way to get more enslaved is probably just physical detainment. If they could do that they would already have. If you argue that's what they are working towards with all the drones and AI then you should really be worried about those guys and not Bryan Johnson; because they would create anti-aging anyways if we go by your worldview. This position is so hypocritical though. Aren't you trying to prevent your death every moment too? You don't go around entering dark alleyways at night because you don't want to get stabbed. You don't just jump off your balcony because you'd rather not die. You stay away from venomous snakes. You are stopping your death ALL the time. Just because you have made peace with the idea of natural death doesn't mean you want to die. It doesn't mean Bryan Johnson has to be okay with natural death either.

He is the manifestation of humanity's drive to achieve freedom. In this case it is the freedom to choose whether you want to die. "Don't Die" doesn't mean 'Don't return to God'. Observe the context around it, it's a short catchy slogan to get the point across in as little words as possible; but if you read a little bit it is quite obvious what he wants is there to be a choice to living on or dying rather than forcing you to live. Are you envisioning the future from "I have no mouth and I must scream" where AM forces you to be immortal? I doubt that is what he wants. Yeah he is scared of death, but that's completely natural.

"When kidney transplants began succeeding in the 1950s, some critics argued: humans were extending life beyond what God intended tampering with organs violated sacred bodily wholeness using organs from the dead desecrated corpses There were also secular fears: “Frankenstein medicine” fear of surgeons experimenting on humans suspicion that the poor would be harvested for organs" Do you see what I am getting at?

To be honest, I am grateful for Bryan Johnson. If he was conscious and more mentally healthy he wouldn't be doing what he is right now. If he doesn't do it, who will? He can single-handedly advance this field very fast. He is fulfilling a role which only a person with a very specific cocktail of fears and values can fill. I really don't see why people hate on this guy. Yeah he's got problems, but that is exactly why he will benefit society. It's a better use of his money than whatever Epstein was doing.

Pride is self-referential and Vainglory is audience-referential. See if you can find the difference: "Will this confirm my superiority?" "Will this earn approval of my superiority?" In one the Jury is internal, in another it is external.

Courage is acting despite fear. Diligence is finding comfort in the right things.

I studied well today in the sense I did not waste as much time as I would. I worked fast with all the others chores I had, and instead of getting frustrated that they were eating up my study time, I simply let it go. I don't want wrath have its way now do I? Studying is different from working out because you may be studying something you may not find particularly enjoying but you need to anyways. How do you find comfort in that? I think the key is to build security and certainty. - Being mindful of how good it feels to not procrastinate. After suffering so much at the hands of my sloth, studying for once actually feels quite nice. One needs to be aware of the sense of security they feel when they are actually working towards their goals. There's a comfort in knowing that you are progressing even if little by little. You can choose to focus on whether or not you are progressing fast enough but that's a later observation. One needs to first be mindful of and take comfort in the sense of security in progress. If you set a schedule, and maybe use a technique like Pomodoro, it will introduce sufficient certainty in the mix. However, there's a trap; It's actually easy to start anticipating the end of the session but that anticipation is a sneaky trap which breeds sloth. When you anticipate the end of the session you are admitting to yourself you are currently uncomfortable. What you should instead focus on is finishing the task at hand within the session. Maybe finishing a chapter of revision in the given session. It's a goal which is possible within the time frame but not too easy. It's sufficient challenge. At least that is enough to shift my focus from anticipation of the end to almost dreading the end because I want to finish a clean target within the time frame. If I can't, there is always the next session. Remember, the goal was never to finish a task within the session, the goal was to just distract yourself. I am still figuring this out but that's all I know so far. Really, I will know I am diligent once I am able to be consistent with not just my studies but also my working out. I am starting to get little inklings of what my benchmark should be for determining when I have become sufficiently courageous and diligent to move on to other compulsions. The benchmark for courage could be something related to repeated failures and the ability to get back up and try again. It could be related to one's ability to hold on to hope. The benchmark for diligence can be something related to consistency or one's ability to put in effort regardless of reward. Testing one's principle of doing a job well. How seriously you take your task. Again, these are just inklings-- vague ideas, you could say. Might be completely wrong. -- I bought some weights because it's much less resistance than having to visit the gym. Is it the most optimal way to get fit? No, absolutely not. I am not remotely close to any sort of optimal health plan or diet. However, that's not my goal. My goal isn't achieving a healthy body, it's achieving a diligent mind that acts towards meaningful targets. A healthy body is just one of those targets. As my mind becomes diligent and brave, it will leave more room to optimize my working out, diet and studies.

As an Indian I genuinely find it hard to believe you guys have such a clown for a president. How does a guy like that get into power? One for the history books.

any gut-focused teachers?

I agree with @zurew here, he points to a lot of problems I have seen with Leo. The thread has gotten lost into understanding what it means to define stuff when in reality this is the real issue at hand. This is what needs to be discussed. I would appreciate a more thorough response from @Leo Gura on this than a simple 'you're wrong because you aren't conscious enough'. Just this once. As for the definitions. Here's my two cents - Clearly there is something there when you try to define a cult. You wouldn't define a cult as 'a red ball' because it's clearly not that. There is some elephant everybody is trying describe from their perspective. I don't know what a cult is, but I know what a cult is not: Being able to openly criticize the leader and having no bars to leaving the community, not even epistemic. (Example: You'll go to hell if you leave!) Actualized.org allows for both open criticism of Leo and puts no epistemic, financial or physical restrains on you to stay. There's no peer pressure on you to stay within the community either. If you criticize Leo there is no crazy backlash either. This is enough to show me Actualized.org is not a cult. But as things are progressing, I do feel the community is becoming a little less conscious and with those retreats coming up I am very curious to see how Leo prevents this place from becoming more cult-like.

I was too slothful today. I didn't study at all. But I know I wasn't a coward. The reason I didn't study was because of comfort, not fear. I did exercise though. I really don't get how to overcome this bondage to comfort. With cowardice you just act despite the fear, that is courage after all. With sloth do you just forsake the comfort? Let me look up the definition for diligence: "careful work or great effort" "the quality of working carefully and with a lot of effort" The idea at least sounds quite stressful. Me holding on to that comfort might be causing the stress. Hm. . . After some thinking I don't think you must 'forsake' comfort. Comfort is akin to the feeling of security and certainty. I doubt anybody who can act consistently and diligently can do so for long without feeling some sort of comfort in what they are doing. Definition of comfort: "a pleasant feeling of being relaxed and free from pain" Yeah, it'd be pretty hard to be consistent in the gym if you feel pain every time you exercise. Every person I have seen that has been consistent in the gym for years has found the gym a quite comforting place. They found some sort of comfort in the exercise and place. I also remember that when I was consistent in my studying last year just before one of my exams, I found this strange comfort in the subject I was studying. It was as if that book was my home. Studying the chapters so many times gave me a sense of familiarity. Flipping the pages felt like walking through streets you're too familiar with. So the the way to solve cowardice is acting despite fear, and the way to solve sloth is finding comfort in what needs to be done? . . This gives me a lead to work off on. I will try to find comfort i.e. security and certainty within my studies tomorrow. When I wrote the above sentence I felt a physical reaction in my body. It recoiled at the idea of ever finding comfort in those books. This is VERY interesting. Yeah, fuck the fear. I am doing it. I am brave. Let's try this tomorrow and see what happens.

I don't think I could focus on the teaching if Leo looked like that

For me Sankalpa is a very formal process I do when undertaking an anushthana or would when I do a purushcharana. Water, Rice and Flowers held in one hand as you state your name, address and other identifiers. You say what you are setting an intention for and offer what's in your hand to the earth. I take care doing this though. Every time you complete a difficult sankalpa the power of your will increases. Until you reach a point where it's psychologically impossible for you to not carry through the sankalpa. Once you take a sankalpa it has to be done. This is why this is a powerful practice because you need this kind of will to complete Purushcharanas. Failing a sankalpa does more damage to your will power than succeeding one helps it.

Yesterday I powered through the fear and sat down to study again. All in all I was less of a coward yesterday, which is what counts. There was a point in time where I understood how to study for 8 hours a day and did it for a week, but the problem was never the logistics or my approach. It really was my mindset. Something bad happened and that caused me to completely give up until yesterday. It's because I was a coward who couldn't get back up due to the fear of failure. I was so sick and tired of failing and I still am. But I have to keep going. It's hard to even say "I'll do my best" because I am so uncertain about my future actions. I am afraid that once I say that, I won't really do my best. That emotional labor is grueling. But I have decided to be brave. I am gonna study more today, and finally pick up some dumbbells. I'll do my best. More thoughts about the 11C: Gluttony occurs in Over-Stimulation; Boredom occurs in Under-Stimulation. Dissolving Gluttony means not chasing stimulation beyond needed, dissolving Boredom means finding stillness in under-stimulation. Easy to confuse the two.

Honestly if a critic actually used this forum for a year they would realize Leo isn't even mentioned most of the time. There are no signs of Actualized.org being a cult beyond the radical claims. To use deaths associated with this forum to call it a cult is in Bad Faith. Many deaths are associated even with science and the scientific method, is science a cult? No because it actually works and encourages asking questions. Maybe you'd think there's no comparing science to this forum, that's alright, but it's important to see the context in which those tragedies took place. As for the asking questions part, that's the same with this community. Nobody asks you to obey Leo, I don't even think about Leo when I use this forum. The nature of this work is such that some people will fuck up badly despite all the warnings, it doesn't matter if Leo is managing it or anybody else for that matter. Psychedelics do work and there is apt research going on at such. Just because science hasn't caught up doesn't mean it's not true. Besides, there's a whole 1hour33min video specifically about the dangers of psychedelics; on top of various other videos about the traps of spiritual work. The work is dangerous and maybe the biggest mistake is for this to be as openly available as it is in the first place. But if you make it a more closed system you're even more of a cult in the eyes of critics. There's no appealing to critics. If the reader of this message is somebody who's coming in from that video or a critic, know that unlike a cult, nobody is asking you to join and obey Leo, or even do this work for that matter. It's in your will to come in here and judge for yourself. I only ask you to judge fairly and in good faith.

Touché