Muhammad Jawad

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Posts posted by Muhammad Jawad

  1. Posted · Edited by Muhammad Jawad

    Hello All!

    I hope you are doing well.

    I need your suggestion.

    Whenever I am hungry I do overeating and I eat unhealthy.

    Then after overeating, I go through from guilt and regret. And promise myself to never do overeating.

    And when I am hungry again, I do overeating again.

    And this cycle keep repeating.

    There 2 personalities in me. 1st is fearless and careless about the health and fitness and force me to do overeating and 2nd personality is very concerned about the health and fitness and force me to eat less and eat healthy only. 

    When 1st personality is active and awake, I do overeating and at that time 2nd personality is sleeping who want the opposite. And when the 2nd is awake the 1st one is sleeping. 

    Right now I am the 2nd personality who is talking to you and want to eat less and very concerned about my health and fitness.

    How do I eat less when my 2nd personality is sleeping and 1st one is awake? 

    As awareness I feel like God but still it looks like I am slave of my own urges, deep mental tendencies, emotions, feelings and still unable fix my habits.

    What do I do? 

  3. Posted

    On 07/12/2020 at 0:40 PM, Muhammad Jawad said:

    I chewed and swallowed 1 gram of Magic Mushroom at 4:30 am.

     

    Then I sat on a Chair and started Meditation in my room. It was not deep meditation. I was just switching between meditation and open eyes so I can notice if there are any changes in my experience.

     

    After almost 20 minutes suddenly I started to Hear a Clear Sound of Silence (Beep with 528 Hz Frequency) like when we go higher on Mountains or airplanes. And the sounds of my surroundings became secondary.

     

    I became more present and started to feel distortion in my body particularly in the face.

     

    I was feeling confused and was not sure if these experiences are my misunderstandings or I am actually feeling all this in reality as a psychedelic experience.

     

    Now as my feeling was getting intense I started to get a feeling of fear as well.

     

    At 05:00 am I thought that what if I fell from the Chair I should go to my bed.

     

    So I turned on Meditation Music on speakers and went to bed and sat down there.

     

    Colors became more vibrant. I started to see blood veins in my hand.

     

    After a few minutes, I thought that this music was distracting me so I asked my Trip Sitter to turn off the music.

     

    And I felt that I should lie down at 05:15 am so I lay down.

     

    I was feeling that I am drowning in nothingness or void but I felt really scared so I was trying to resist this also and trying to remain in reality with my body.

     

    The reason for Fear was that it was my 1st Psychedelic/Spiritual Experience.

     

    There was dim yellow light in the room and I started to feel really congested. Negatively, like I am having difficulty breathing, I got an inner call that said go outside into nature so you can feel better and have different experiences with nature.

     

    By 05:45 am I asked my Trip sitter to help me to go to the terrace.

     

    I was able to concentrate and Focus on things and at the same time, I was confused also.

     

    When I came outside everything was very Fresh, Color Full, Vibrant, Bird's sound was really amazing, Echoes at the same time I was feeling like I am in High Fever, I was feeling High Temperature.

     

    I could See Clouds really clearly with different layers of clouds, I was able to see and focus in sharp, small details like Hand pores, etc.., Was feeling a little bit of distortion in objects,

    I was getting an inner call that let’s leave the steering of this body-mind and let me drive but I was scared to leave the control.

     

    At the same time, I was in the Happy, Giggling, and Laughing Mode. I was getting laughs and jokes on every worldly thing. I was laughing at everything like I am watching a real comedy movie. The whole universe was looking like a comedy and a dream as well.

     

    My language was also like a funny thing to me. The funniest thing was “Time”. I do not want to think or talk about time because it was the funniest thing in this universe.

     

    Because at that time here and now was the only thing that matters and I was sure that the Future and the past did not exist.

     

    I was getting inner calls that now don’t focus on this body and world because this world is a Funny Dream. Focusing on the world will cause you only laughter and nothing else.

     

    Leave this World, body, and mind and become 1 with nature or consciousness. But I had a feeling of fear and was trying to hold this Dreamworld.

     

    I was feeling Morphing in my body. Around 06:10 am my feeling of fear dissolved and I got an inner call that now I should get serious if I want to learn something new I was ready to go with the flow and was serious to learn, understand.

     

    Around 06:16 am I was feeling intense Joy, Calmness, Amazing, Freedom.

     

    I was feeling very trapped in the body like I am trapped in a very small thing and there is no oxygen and I wanted to come out of this world and body.

     

    I felt like birds were talking to me. I had a lot of compassion toward every being.

     

    There was a whole Universe or infinite Well or infinity in each cell, or atom, grain of sand, in everything. Focus on each object was sucking me into the infinity of that spec. There was infinity in each pore of my skin.

     

    Now I was looking at my body and all other things in a 3rd Person. Like VR Game Experience.

     

    My whole body was melting away. It felt like I have left everything but I am stuck at the back of my head.

     

    I was in total presence, I didn't want to hold on to thoughts and memories, and everything in each moment was perfect.

     

    There was Blind and infinite well in each thing, object or thoughts. In which well I was focusing on I was getting sucked into that thought or thing.

     

    I was not able to identify which sound is coming from where. I was getting aware of everything but was losing my sense of My Words and body.

     

    Everything was dissolving into nothingness. Everything was flowing like Air or River. Nothing was staying. Each moment was unique.

     

    I don’t want to talk about the previous moment.

     

    I was feeling distortion in Heartbeats also. Whenever I was laughing I felt like my mouth would morph into an infinite wide open.

     

    This body was feeling like a prison.

     

    Then my 2-year-old daughter woke up and came to me. I was amazed to see her. It was like I was looking at her for the first time.

     

    And she was looking cutest. There was a whole universe inside her eyes. I wanted to drown in the infinity of her eyes.

     

    For some time I enjoyed her cuteness and company and Now I want solitude so I can understand things more deeply.

     

    Sometimes my hands were looking like baby hands and sometimes it was looking like monster hands.

     

    Then I decided to go inside to enjoy a few things from the computer and for Meditation.

     

    I asked my Trip sitter to help me to go inside. And When I stood up I felt so amazed. It was like I am wearing VR Glasses and watching my body arms in the third person.

     

    My body was looking very small. But I was able to control my body and walk. When I came inside it was like I was looking at my home from inside the 1st time.

     

    The entry door of my room looked very small. I sat on my computer chair and started watching a few nature Pictures and I was getting sucked into those pictures.

     

    Then I Started to Watch the Documentary “Moving Art” on Netflix (Nature Documentary) and after just 5 minutes.

     

    I started to cry through my heart and there were tears in my eyes and while crying my feelings and thought was that I or He (God) is alone and has no one for the company to enjoy and these World objects, World Nature, etc..are the only Imaginations I have for my company.

     

    I or He (God) has nothing other than this dream and I had intense compassion and self-pity at that time.

     

    At that time I felt that Surah Ikhlas (Verses of Quran) is not just a surah it is a His Sad Story as well...

     

    Everything on the computer was looking very clear and sharp.

    Wisdom & Insights I got during this Trip:

     

    He is just exploring himself.

     

    He is infinite.

     

    Everything is him.

     

    He is happy and enjoying everything and wants us to just explore and enjoy.

     

    Enjoy the dream.

     

    Don’t take anything seriously.

     

    Then I thought I was wasting my time on the computer so I shut down the computer and came back to my bed and started Meditation.

     

    I closed my eyes and there were a few blurred and faded patterns.

     

    It was like there were infinite doors and He (God) was asking which door do you want to enter.

     

    Then I felt like laying so I get laid on the bed.

     

    Now I feel that my psychedelic experience is going to end so I thought now I should spend some time with my family.

     

    I came to my family room enjoyed the cuteness of my daughter for a bit more time than I thought I should watch myself in the Mirror so I got up and went in front of the mirror and I got really disappointed I was looking really bad and unhealthy and felt self-pity and asked myself that what have you done with this body which was a temporary gift to you.

     

    At 08:00 am I was back home from my trip.

     

    Video Version of this Trip Report:

     

     

  4. Posted

    My 1st Spiritual Enlightenment and Awakening Experience (I am Absolutely Alone) by Muhammad Jawad in English Join me as I share my first-ever experience with spiritual enlightenment and awakening! This profound moment changed my life forever. I'll describe my journey leading up to the awakening, including my exploration of meditation, mindfulness, and spiritual practices. Something just clicked one day while I was meditating and I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of oneness, pure joy, and inner peace. I'll do my best to articulate this blissful state of higher consciousness I reached, a feeling of being connected to all of life and the entire universe. It felt as if I tapped into a deep well of wisdom and clarity that had been dormant within me all along. I experienced the dissolution of my ego and detachment from all my worries. A feeling of unconditional love and acceptance towards all beings emerged. I obtained new insights into the nature of reality and being. This awakening has led me to live my life with more meaning, purpose, compassion, and gratitude. I'm excited to share this profoundly moving and magical experience! Let me take you through my spiritual journey and describe this life-changing moment of enlightenment.

     

    Video: 

     

     

    Thanks

     

  9. Posted

    20 hours ago, Osaid said:

    Something interesting I've noticed is that my anger and irritation depends on who did it. For example, if someone spilled something, depending on who did it, I will have an angry or more understanding response. Similar to how you would have a different reaction to a spill if your pet cat spilled it rather than a human.

    True. That's totally true.

    I was really angry when my kids drew lines on my home office walls but I couldn't get angry when nature destroyed the whole of my wall with dampness and the whole of the paint fell off. And I was just looking at the wall and couldn't say or do anything about it... Hahaha

    20 hours ago, Osaid said:

    I think this tells us something about anger, which is that when we perceive an incident, we might make up a story in our mind about the person who did it and why they did it, and then that story makes us more angry.

    If a cat spills it, you might even find it cute. Oh, the cat just didn't know what it was doing. It's silly to expect better from a cat.

    If a human spills it, you feel very angry. You expect much more compared to the cat, I think this is where the anger and resistance begins. How can this person be so unintelligent? After all I've done to educate them? How much longer do I have to put up with stuff like this?

    Very True

    20 hours ago, Osaid said:

    Simply put, your expectations don't align with reality. And then, on top of that, the ego actually has another human person to blame for this, which is the perfect recipe for cultivating anger. The ego loves shifting blame and responsibility onto other people, it gives it a vessel to direct its anger into.

    Exactly.

    20 hours ago, Osaid said:

    So overall, I think it's a matter of grounding yourself and not getting caught in the stories and assumptions that you instinctually pull out. Easier said than done though.

    Right...

     

    Thanks a lot :-)

  10. Posted

    20 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

    There is a thin line between don't force others and others forcing you.

    hmm. That's 100% True. Most of the time when I feel like I am forcing my wants on others but by looking at the situation in depth I realize that in fact, they are forcing me, not me.

    21 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

    For your family, the best that you could do is to be strong, coherent. An example of integrity. Not a weak man that wants to be nice with everyone and sometimes explode in anger

    hmmm. Amazing advice.

     

    Thanks a lot. :-) 

  11. Posted

    2 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    Life just happens and you (meaning the sensations of body and mind) are a part of that. You are not in control in any grand sense.

    Ok

    2 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    Resistance to all of these negative states, behaviors, and reactions comes mostly from feeling like you are a real, continuous entity which can affect how that actually fabricated, spontaneously arising and passing entity plays itself out. 

    hmm. Right.

    3 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    I think it ultimately comes down to seeing what you actually are with deep, penetrating, and relatively “permanent” insight which stops or significantly reduces your ability to resist.

    ok...

    3 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    The odd thing about stopping the resistance to the resistance you feel at a sort of meta level will usually calm you down in tangible and helpful ways which make your life more successful in a practical as well as spiritual sense. 

    Right...

    3 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    I was listening to a Taoist master on Guru Viking (pretty high quality YouTube channel in podcast format), and he said that Taoism isn’t about becoming a God. It’s more or less about being the only thing you actually can be which is the true-to-life authentic expression of yourself.

    OK...Right...

    3 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    You can’t ever go against that expression. You can appear to fight with yourself to change this or that behavior, but all of that is ultimately just more authentic expression that can’t help but be 100% spot on authentic in every moment possible. 

    hmm. Wao

    3 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    I guess my main “advice” for your questions is to relax into what and who you are.

    hmm. OK... Sure.

    3 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    You can only imagine that you are resisting that flow. You can’t actually resist that flow of things. As things stand now, you (meaning the sensations of the body/mind in this context) are a pretty large portion of “what is”, and if you can’t allow yourself to do and be what your karmic (meaning cause and effect in a pretty non-mystical way) conditions set you to be, you will always feel to be in a more or less big mess of resistance. 

    hmmm. True.

    3 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    You are what and who you are, and you can’t do much but realize that that is ultimately just fine if you are allowed to express your nature which was handed to you in the way that nature is going to express itself whether you feel to be on board with it or not.

    Right....

    3 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

    These should both be very helpful if you find what I said to resonate.

    Thanks a lot for sharing these videos. I am really resonating with your take on this. :-)

     

    And Thanks a lot for the Help :-)

  13. Posted

    11 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    the how, why and when something changes is always a mystery.

    Right.

    11 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    Look at your own life. For example when someone explains something to you and you don’t get what they are saying, why is that?  Sure you come up with many reasons that feel so, perhaps it was the words or the analogy’s or metaphors, but if you look really deeply you may come to at least a “not 100% sure”.

    hmmh. Yes

    11 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    Or when you finally learned math or a language or solved a problem, you can generally feel like it was done because of something in particular, or an idea at the last second that completed the solving or understanding, but again if you look deeply, you will find no 100% certainty.

    True.

    11 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    Often that last thought or understanding that solved confusion just arose when it did at that moment for reasons unseen. This is the mystery I’m alluding to when I said as you practice good intentions and effort one day things may just click, but again we are never sure when and why it happens, perhaps it appeared due to be practice perhaps not.

    Right.

    11 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    So I say it’s best to put good intentions forward and let what will be, be.

    Ok. Sure.

    11 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    other teachers may say there’s no one to do such so such efforts, they are an illusion and pointless, so drop all doing or trying. And then there is the last camp that says everything’s in our ultimate control. In the end it’s a mystery really. 

    True.

     

    Thanks a lot

  14. Posted

    1 hour ago, Breakingthewall said:

    The attacks of anger are usually a symptom or manifestation that you subconsciously feel dominated, forced, obligated, to do things, to have a life that is not your choice. They are usually a cry for help asking for freedom. maybe you live in an environment where everything is compulsory, you are corseted, you cannot express yourself, say what you want, do what you want, be you. the remedy is to free yourself and be the master, the boss, the god, the total tyrant of your life down to the last millimeter. then you see no reason for something as dumb as anger. you are sitting on your throne looking benevolently at the world you have conquered. you need a lot of ball, that's true, but what else you could do? be an idiot?

     

    You are right but to impose my wants on others forcefully is not love & compassion. 

  15. Posted

    2 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

    This is not necessarily advice for being calm, rather more generally for proper actions in all situations:

    1. Raise your baseline level of consciousness (increase your IQ and EQ).
    2. Be connected to the energy of your surroundings.
    3. Do not demonize the "bad" emotions. Think of them as energy tools, and learn to utilize them when necessary. Remember, it's not about maintaining a certain state, rather about taking proper actions.
    4. It goes without saying that daily meditation helps a ton, mindfulness, focusing on the breath, etc.
    5. Inquire into the expectations that you have and why you have them in the first place, then classify them into categories of different importance. What can you allow and what should not be allowed?
    6. Avoid mind-numbing activities, such as video games, alcohol, etc.
    7. Avoid multi-tasking at all costs.

    These are really Great Points. I will surely work on them.

    Thanks a lot for the help

  16. Posted

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    I can totally relate to what you've describe, however my answer is not one that is easy to accept for some.

    Ok..

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    You don't.

    What? I mean...Why? Then what is the goal of spirituality, knowing oneself?

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    By all means, try and do your best to remain more impartial and broad and not escalate past the point you catch yourself, but, these things just happen sometimes.

    Right..

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    Maybe apologize, maybe explain your feelings and why you felt like you did what you did

    Ok..

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    but it will probably still happen no matter how pure your heart and intent, until maybe one day it doesn't.......

    What does that mean? I mean how?

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    Its interesting to take a step back and realize that different cultures, families and circles of human and animal relationships are more or less inclusive and accepting of degree's of anger, sadness, fear and all sorts of emotions/beliefs and due to such, one will see their own reactions to such matters as okay or not okay in relation in relation to such beliefs and standards.

    Right. Ok...

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    One interesting thing I've noted in my own journey is how much a little anger or fear or laziness was demonized inside myself after I started pursuing enlightenment and self improvement.

    Yes, Laziness is one more thing that is being more and more empowering on me on this journey.

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    Its almost as if in pursuing/believing in such, I elevated my expectations of myself and what is okay and not okay within relationship. 

    Right..

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    This new standard created its own pressure and success failure scheme in my own mind/self.

    OK...

    2 hours ago, Mu_ said:

    Hopefully thats helpful.

    Yes, your response was very helpfull.

     

    Thanks a lot 

  18. Posted

    Hi!

    I hope everyone is doing good.

     

    How do I get rid of unconscious expectations, reactions, attachments, wants, shoulds, etc?

    When I am contemplating, meditating on these things. I understand everything and achieve calmness, silence, and peace.

    But in my flow of life, I lose, forget my true state, and start reacting unconsciously and get hurt due to the breaking of my unconscious expectations.

    There is a lot of unconscious resistance to "what is".  I am reacting a lot without any control due to a lot of unconscious resistance to "what is".

    In the current stage of my spiritual journey, I am feeling lost all the time and lost interest in everything.

    Most of the time I am aware but when I am dealing with others I just slip into the loop of selfish reactions...

    What is the solution? How do I gain the Absence of resistance to what is?

    Most of the time these reactions are just selfish and unnecessary that I realize later with regret.

    My Expectations: I will remain calm in all kinds of situations and won't resist "what is" will not mind whatever happens and will not take it personally.  

    But Reality: "Oh my God. Who the hell spilled the milk on my Home Office Room Carpet?" I suddenly start to yell at my family full of anger when I saw the milk on my carpet.

    Then Regret: Why I reacted like that? What happened to me? Where there is so much resistance? bla bla

    I should have the choice of how I should React or not react.

    How do I remain disidentified from the mind in these kinds of circumstances and not believe in these voices?

    Normally I do not believe in these voices but when there is a rush/storm of negative emotions then I forget everything and start to believe in these voices again and identify with the mind again and start to react from the mind's perspective.

    The reaction is sudden. 

    I can feel the emotions after my reaction but how do I stop sudden reactions?

    There is no time to be wise and decide to feel emotions. The reaction just appears abruptly.

     

    How do I remain calm in all kinds of circumstances?

     

    Waiting for your help.

    Thanks & Regards

    Jawad

  25. Posted

    19 hours ago, itachi uchiha said:

    Check out sufism

    Ok

    19 hours ago, itachi uchiha said:

    ennio nemis said that sufism has techniques which are as powerful as kriya yoga.

    Ok

    19 hours ago, itachi uchiha said:

    pakistan has lot of sufis.u will not have trouble finding one.

    But it's not possible to know which one is genuine and which one is fraud or lost. 

    19 hours ago, itachi uchiha said:

    Kriya yoga should be best learned from a guru.except panchanan lineage and satyacharan bhattacharya lineage,every other lineage technique has side effect.are u practicing from jc stevens or gamana.

    I am not practicing Kriya Yoga.

    19 hours ago, itachi uchiha said:

    can u travel to india ,in west bengal and learn under a guru.

    Yes, I can but not now. Why do I need to do Kriya Yoga?

    19 hours ago, itachi uchiha said:

    if not then go to the link below and download a file.it has techniques from satyacharan lahiri lineage.it has no side effects

    Thanks a lot