FlyingLotus

They're Leo's points, for sure . I wish I had come up with them! You can find them in the comments section here: on Actualized.org. They're also in the Youtube comments, but it takes forever to load.

Leo also had these additional points to make that I forgot to include. _________________ Leo: This video was addressing irresponsible and egotistical PUA behavior. Which has nothing to do with sex and dating itself. The two can be separated. “But Leo…Do I have to worry about what everyone’s agenda is before thinking about mine? That is how I used to be and I suffered big time. Now I am just being authentic and honest about how I feel.” Leo: No, you actually only need to take responsibility for yourself. But FULLY and consciously. << This is NOT the same as selfishness. More Suggestions By Leo: IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ: You’re probably wondering at this point… “Okay, Leo! Okay! What can I actually do about this? Should I quit pickup entirely? How am I supposed to get better with girls?!!!!” If you suck with girls, the reality is that you need to approach them to get better. That said, you can do so in a MUCH more responsible way than the PUA community would suggest. Try the following practical changes to your game: Be honest with yourself that you are manipulating when you are Notice how much you manipulate via text Notice how much you manipulate for sex itself Stop being so calculating Start caring about the woman’s agenda above your own Stop pressuring women for sex like a used car salesman Stop telling women downright lies, including little lies like, “Oh, we’re just going to my house to watch TV.” Reduce your manipulation by 80% Stop exaggerating about yourself and how good/cool you are Stop drinking the PUA community dogma/cool-aid Stop gossiping so much with your PUA buddies about PUA dogma Stop demonizing “nice guys” and “chodes” Stop using pickup lines (if you still are) Stop judging women Stop blaming women for not liking you or sleeping with you Stop calling women sluts, whores, bitches, cunts, etc. Stop perpetuating the myth that women are disloyal and will cheat easily Be honest with women that you do pickup and why you got into it Stop cheating on women Stop withholding important information from women (lying by omission) Stop building harems and burning through women Take measures to minimize emotional collateral damage to women. Don’t toy with their emotions Respect women more Stop only doing one-night-stands and stop trying to get your lay count up Stop showing off pictures of your girls to other guys to brag Stop gloating about how many women you’ve been with Stop hitting on women who have boyfriends or husbands Don’t dump women in a cruel way Try actually communicating with your woman and building an authentic honest relationship Try being interested in women beyond sex Stop pushing women’s emotional hot-buttons Stop with the fake emotionality and drama Exhibit more empathy! Become an advocate for responsible pickup and set a good example for the community by embodying higher consciousness values Etc. The bottom line is, there are lots of way to do pickup more responsibly and more consciously. You know… be more like a human and less like a horny used car salesman. Will this diminish your results? Of course it will! That’s the cost of doing honest business! Your integrity and self-actualization, though, will improve. I promise! And stop bullshitting yourself! You ARE a fucking ego-maniac. This is just a band-aid on a much bigger issue that we’ll need to work on over the years. But at least it’s a start! ADDITIONAL POINTS ABOUT RSD: Many of you follow RSD content and philosophy. You’re probably wondering, “Does what Leo say apply to RSD?” Yes! It certainly does. I see RSD as a community of guys. This community has a set of common values and ethos. These values are what I'm critiquing because these values (generally speaking) are egotistical, narcissistic, and immature. Does this mean I hate RSD? No. Do I have a personal dislike for RSD instructors? No. Some of them are very inspiring. And I've met them all in-person. Does this mean everything in RSD is evil? No. Does this mean every single one of the RSD values is immature? No. Does this mean that RSD doesn’t have some good personal development ideas and techniques? No. Fundamentally what I'm advocating is a raising of the values of the community, more focus put on ethics, and more responsibility and empathy. Player with a golden heart anyone?

@SamC He talks about that in the "PUA rant" episode at 33:55.

11. Summary: What's the Worst That Can Happen? It’s important to look at how fear works and how it influences your decisions. Your fears manifest in a multitude of ways that you aren’t even aware of. You’ll never reach your full potential unless you conquer your fears. These simple questions have the power to clarify and uproot the most crippling of fears. If you’re facing a major decision, or having doubts about a big decision that you’ve already made, sit down and ask yourself: What’s the worst that will happen? Why is that bad? What will I do when the worst happens? Viva Las Vegas In 2012, Leo was mulling over whether to relocate from Dallas to Las Vegas. He wanted to fully immerse himself in learning how to pickup women and Vegas had the nightlife to help him do that. It was one of the toughest decisions he’d ever faced. Deep-down he was excited at the prospect of moving, but he was also plagued with fear and doubt. In his mind, he had painted a picture of things going amazing well or horribly bad. There were many challenges he’d have to face: leaving behind friends and family, trying to make his business work in a new city, finding a balance between pick-up and career, the hassle and costs of moving, and making a life change so radical it could backfire. Even after all the logical, pros vs cons analysis, he was still left with palpable fear that he might be making a big mistake. So Leo discussed this with a life coach who kept asking, “What’s the worst that can happen? Why is that bad?” It went something like this: Coach: “What’s the worst that can happen if you move to Vegas?” Leo: “I hate it so much that I’m miserable, like in Boston five years ago.” Coach: “And why is that bad?” Leo: “I hated living in Boston.” Coach: “Why bro? Ya gaht something against great coffee, lobster rolls that are wicked pissa, hot angels who seduce people into learning history, and a team that keeps winning the Supabowl, bro?” Leo: “Excuse me?” Coach: “Nevermind…why was living in Boston bad?” Leo: “I didn’t have any friends or family…I felt lonely, uncomfortable and insecure. But, I want to move out of Dallas.” Coach: “And what’s bad about moving out of Dallas?” Leo: “I’m tired of moving. I’m frustrated because I’m wasting time. What if I spend a lot of money and it doesn’t work out and then I have to move back?” Coach: “And what’s bad about wasting time and money?” Leo: “I should be putting that time and money towards advancing my career. I don’t want to take a step backwards.” Coach: “What’s bad about taking a step backwards?” Leo: “If I keep delaying I’m not going to be successful.” Coach: “And why is that bad?” Leo: “I want to be proud of my life and have it mean something important.” Coach: “So it sounds like accomplishing something important with your life will make you feel proud and significant. You’re afraid you might lose that opportunity if you move to Vegas. So, you’re wagering your life’s significance on this move. No wonder you’re second-guessing yourself.” Leo: “Well, yeah… come to think of it, moving to Vegas and seeing what happens IS the opportunity. It’s the bold choice that will grow me instead of staying in my comfort zone.” Coach: “So what’s the worst that will happen if you move to Vegas?” Leo: “Well…I might hate it and lose interest in pick-up and find that I can’t restart my business.” Coach: “Okay. Let’s say that happened. What would you do then?” Leo: “I could always move back to Dallas. I’d have to stay in Vegas for at least a year because of the apartment lease term. “I’d pay about $4,000 to move to Vegas, and another $2,000 to move back to Dallas if it doesn’t work out. So worst-case scenario, I’m out $6,000 and back to where I am now. “I’m basically paying $6,000 to live in Las Vegas for a year. That actually doesn’t sound so bad. Even if I realize that I don’t want to live in Vegas, it’ll be worth it to have lived there for a year. $6,000 for that kind of life experience sounds like a bargain!” Coach: “Sounds like you don’t have as much to lose as you thought.” Leo: “Guess not. And the upside is enormous.” Once you dig into the issue, identify the worst-case scenario, and stare your fear in the face, it’ll give you clarity and breathing room. Leo’s true fear wasn’t about moving to Vegas. It was about being insignificant and how wasting time and money would set him back. Remember, your mind is really good at catastrophizing — making you feel fear even when the risks are minimal. When you truly see what your fear is about, you will also see the solution. Upon closer inspection, Leo realized he wasn’t wasting time and money at all. He was making a calculated investment into his personal growth and embarking on an exciting life adventure. As soon as he made this re-frame he was at peace. How to Discover Your True Fears and Motivation So sit down and really ask yourself: What’s the worst that will happen? Why is that bad? What will I do when the worst happens? -Go deep on this. Keep digging until you hit rock-bottom and have an “Ah-ha!” moment, especially with #2. You’ll learn a lot about yourself. If you go deep enough you will discover your deepest underlying fears and your deepest source of motivation. In the Vegas example, Leo discovered that his deepest fear was wasting his life, and his deepest motivation was living a meaningful, accomplished life — two sides of the same coin. -It’s very powerful to identifying your root fears, because they explain many of your behavioural patterns. A root fear is a generic, abstract, commonly-held fear that pervades your entire life. Fears like: Fear that you are unlovable Fear that you are not good enough or smart enough Fear of death Fear of going broke Fear of letting your family down Fear of rejection Fear of failure Fear of losing control Fear of reverting to your old self Fear of embarrassment Fear of being wrong Fear of being insignificant Ignoring Fear vs Releasing Fear “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” —Eleanor Roosevelt The best way to neutralize a crippling fear is to simply take action. The second best way is to methodically examine it (not to be mistaken with ruminating on it). Examination forces you to face your fears and see that they are largely figments of your imagination. Sometimes just seeing the fear for what it is — even if it’s very real — will give you peace. You’ll simply release the fear after you see it in its entirety. When you face your fear, one of several things will happen: You will resist and bury your head in the sand. (fail) You’ll see that you’ve exaggerated the fear in your mind. You’ll see that the worst-case scenario is wildly improbable. And even then, you have options. You’ll see that the fear is actually about something else, something deeper. You’ll see that the fear, even if warranted, is dis-empowering and poisoning your life. Choice 2, 3, 4, and 5 all lead to a partial or sometimes total release of the fear, giving you a sense of ease and allowing you to act from a position of clarity. Choice 1 will prolong your suffering and could lead to all sorts of real-world and psychological problems. All neurotic behavior comes from trying to sweep fear under the rug and running away or avoiding your problems. Parts of you are incredibility adept at shirking responsibility. It’s your job to stay vigilant. Not Digging Deep Enough You want to go through at least five iterations on the “And, why is that bad?” question. The most common mistake you can make when exploring your fears is not digging deep enough. Make sure you’re specific about what upsets you the most about the situation. Don’t give generic answers like, “It will suck.” How will it suck? Why will it suck? “It will suck because I’ll feel bad.” Not specific enough! What are you actually going to feel? Name emotions (sad, mad, glad, scared, ashamed, disgusted, lustful, etc). Always be sure to ask, “What’s bad about feeling that?” Make sure you dig deep. Sometimes this is easier said than done. It’s especially tough in serious situations like a death in the family, a cancer diagnosis, losing your life savings in the stock market, etc. Tough situations definitely make it harder to exert conscious control, but the same fear-busting strategy applies — you’ll just need to summon more courage to use it. “The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.” —Buddha -The point isn’t to dismiss all your fears as nonsense. Everyone knows that worst-case scenarios sometimes come true. You can lose your kid; you can lose a parent; you can end up broke; your spouse can get cancer; you can be abandoned by your partner, or you can die tomorrow. This is going to sound harsh, but that’s life! (For more advice on dealing with bleak topics, checkout Leo’s episode on Stoicism & Happiness.) -You don’t choose these things. You can only control how you think about them. Comfort yourself only as much as you need to, then choose to think in an empowering way. If you make yourself a victim and choose to think in a dis-empowering way, you will get results you don’t want to have. eg: Are you worried about losing your kid to the point where you might be over-protective? Are you perhaps doing more harm than good? The key issue isn’t about protecting your kid. It’s about why YOU feel the need to be so protective. Are you really doing it for your kid’s benefit or for yours? Be honest! Parents sometimes overprotect their kid to calm their own anxiety, even when it’s destructive to the child. What if you just accepted the fact that your kid could die? It’s the truth isn’t it? You will die. Your kids will die. Everything you cherish will eventually be incinerated when the sun expands to vaporize the Earth a few billion years from now. “My heart is afraid it will have to suffer. Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself." —Paulo Coelho -The worst case scenario is always death or massive pain. Death isn’t so bad. The sooner you can let go of this fear, the sooner you can move on to living a content life. Massive pain is harder to let go of. But still, for most situations, the fear of massive pain is greatly over-exaggerated. -Consider this: your life is never made worse by facing reality. But you have the potential to really screw your life up badly if you insist on sticking your head in the sand. Perhaps it’s time to dig in and look at your fears square in the face. A Caution on Identifying Fears In the hands of an emotionally stable individual, this technique can be very effective. In the hands of an emotionally broken individual, this technique will make things worse. When you dig into your fears, a common mistake is to come up with unlikely worst-case scenarios. Watch out for this especially if you tend to be habitually negative or catastrophize a lot. You need to find realistic worst-case scenarios! Don’t get trapped in gloom-and-doom thinking. eg: Leo moving to Vegas. Unlikely worst-case scenario: “I die in a horrible car wreck while driving to Vegas. I get skin cancer from the scorching Vegas sun. I get food poisoning at the Bellagio brunch buffet and die. I watch a Cirque Du Soleil show and one of the acrobats falls on my head…” Realistic worst-case scenario: “I can’t restart my business in Vegas. I can’t balance the demands of pickup with my career. I lose interest in pick-up. I get lonely because my friends and family are in Dallas. I realize I was wrong about Boston, because it’s actually the best place in the galaxy and I could’ve been living there this whole time! ?” We’re interested in an apples-to-apples assessment. You don’t want to fixate on freak accidents. Although freak accidents could happen anywhere, you want to focus on plausible scenarios. Always remember to ask, “How likely is this to really happen?” This will keep the worst of the worst-case scenarios at bay. It’s also helpful to do this exercise with a coach. A good coach will prevent you from spiralling down into unrealistic negative thinking. Examination vs. Negativity Examining your fears is not the same thing as pessimistic thinking. Examination empowers, while negativity dis-empowers. Examination is an inner game tool to be used consciously, for limited periods of time, to dissolve bothersome situations, which leaves you feeling strong. Negative, pessimistic thinking is a neurotic tendency — an obsessive, unconscious compulsion. It can drag out for hours and exaggerate problems, which leaves you feeling helpless.

It's a segment called "Misinformation" from Last Week Tonight.

Blog Video Summary: How To Plug Psychedelics • Watch the video at least once. Video is here. • This is for informational purposes and harm reduction. You need to take 100% responsibility for what you put in your body. • Actualized.org does not condone the use of recreational drugs. Psychedelics are intended to be used for spiritual purposes only. • Check the laws in your area. Laws vary a lot from country to country. _______________________________________________ -Plugging is one of the cleanest, safest ways to take psychedelics. It’s painless, gentler and smoother than other methods like snorting, vaping and oral routes of administration. If you’re sick, in pain or vomiting it’ll distract you during your trip. eg: Snorting and vaping can hurt your nose, throat and lungs. Oral/swallowing can cause vomiting or nausea, like methallylescaline. Also, most psychedelics taste awful. -Empty your bowels before plugging so that you can fully absorb the psychedelic. -Make sure your stomach is empty, especially with 5-MeO-DMT. You want a TOTALLY empty stomach for at least 4 hours prior to the trip, unless you enjoy suffering. -Many chems are perfect for plugging, like 5-MeO-DMT, MALT, Ketamine, Methallylescaline, 2C-B, etc. -Plug chems in their HCL form. You can also plug fumarate. -The Freebase form needs to be converted to HCL so that it doesn’t burn your bathroom muscles. You can use vinegar and/or light coconut milk. A demo of this can be found here on youtube. -With any new psychedelic, start with a light dose and gradually increase your dose on subsequent trips, by 5-10mg depending on how potent the substance is. eg: 5-MeO-DMT’s light dose is 3-6mg. Ketamine’s light dose is 10-30mg. For 5-MeO-DMT • For 5-MeO-DMT, plugging makes the trip last twice as long compared to snorting and ten times longer compared to vaping. You’ll need a lower dose if you plug. • Vaping makes the trip too quick to contemplate, whereas plugging gives you a longer trip which is better for savouring non-duality and making sense of it. On Measuring -For tiny potent substances like 5-MeO, the micro scooper is more accurate than a scale. Using a good scale and a micro scooper is great, but only if the scale is high quality and calibrated. -If you use a scale, use a high quality scale that’s been calibrated. Ideally you’d use a laboratory grade scale. Sadly, you can’t find those on Amazon. -Larger dosed substances like shrooms don’t need a high quality scale, because it’s easier for scales to read higher doses. -The smaller the dose, the easier it is for the reading to be inaccurate. You can use the calibrating weight for a more accurate reading. To weigh your dose: a) Place the calibrating weight (usually 20g) and your dose on the scale. b) Record the total weight of both the dose and the calibrating weight. c) Take the Total weight and subtract the calibrating weight to get the weight of your dose. -You don’t need that much water to dissolve small doses. Around 0.3ml is good for 10mg, like with 5-MeO. Ketamine or Methallylescaline will require more water, like 0.8ml. _______________________________________________ You’ll need: • Micro-scooper, can also use a milligram scale. • 1 ml syringe, needlessness. • Rubber band. • Drinking water, the purer the better. • A vessel/container for mixing the substance with water. (Leo uses a ¼ teaspoon scooper) • Your psychedelic of choice. Demo Starts (4:55) 1. Measure out your dose and put it in the mixing container. 2. Suck in 0.3 to 0.8ml of water into the syringe. 3. Slowly drip it into your measured out substance, inside the mixing container. 4. Stir and dissolve the substance. You can use the micro-scoop or even a paperclip. Ideally there should be no little particles left, or they won’t get sucked up into the syringe. 5. Wrap the rubber band tightly around the syringe at around the 0.6 ml mark. This will help you insert the syringe deep enough, but not too deep. This helps you absorb the substance properly. You will be pushing the syringe in until you feel the rubber band against your butt. 6. Suck up every last bit of the substance into the syringe. 7. It helps to lube up the syringe, especially at the tip. You can use saliva or coconut oil. 8. Make sure you’re holding the syringe by the base and not the plunger, or the liquid might expel prematurely. 9. Get on all fours, doggy style. Relax your bathroom muscles. Insert rectally. Stop inserting when you can feel the rubber band against your butt. 10. Once it’s in, start pushing the plunger. Start slow at first, but when it’s halfway, push it quickly so that every last drop gets out. 11. Don't remove it right away. Let the liquid absorb to prevent leakage. This can take from 5s to 1 min. 12. Pull it out and slightly clench your butt to prevent leakage. 13. Now, you have 5 to 10 mins before the substance kicks in. Lie down on your stomach somewhere comfy. If you walk around it might leak out. 14. After about 15 mins the liquid will be fully absorbed and you can walk around, if you have to.

Thanks for the suggestions! They do have good interviews and production values. Maybe it was just that one course that was pretty bad. I still feel like I got robbed at credit-card point .

I can access my account, but when I go to the Audio Downloads section, only the first 14 audio downloads show up. Anyone else having this problem?

You're welcome! Ego backlash is also my favourite time to enjoy sad, moody music. Or moody inspirational stuff.

@Thought Art This section of the forum is about asking people for their opinion on self-help products and books. I’m asking people for their opinion because my guess is a few of them have already tried some Mindvalley courses, whereas I have not. I have seen a bunch of their free stuff and one course called "the Habit of Ferocity" which really sucked. It was no better than a free Ted talk and quite expensive considering it offered very little value. Mindvalley is a platform with tons of courses, like YouTube or Udemy, though not nearly as big as those two. It’d be nice to know if some of their courses are standouts or not and if I was just unlucky with that one course. They have an all-access pass. If they have a few really good courses it'd be worth it, but if it's as crappy as their "Habit of Ferocity" course, then it wouldn't be worth it. They have a lot of self-help heavy hitters on their platform, but they don't get talked about much here on Actualized.org like other teachers, which is odd.

Compassion, learning and mindful suffering. Here's a summary of Leo's episode on Ego Backlash which you may find helpful.

October 2021 • Yes, UFOs Are A Thing ?⁉️ • The Man Who Knew Infinity ?♾️ • Blind Man Describes How He Sees World (note) ♾️ • Atheist Asks God Why Humanity Is So Evil ? • Breaking Rational ? • No Legs, No Problem ? • Unlimited Love ? ? ♾️ ❤️ • God Is Not A Good Theory (video with Sean Carroll) (note) ⚛️ • Devilry Is Inversion (re: Trump) (note)

That's cool if you disagree. In any case, there's more than enough books on the list to keep you occupied until the next update. There are also many book recommendations throughout the forum to address whatever your needs might be.

Thanks for sharing your session @Raptorsin7 . It’s amazing how visceral the experience can be when an expert is applying it to your own specific situation. You actually went really far, all the way to the start of an unburdening. Most people don't get that far in their first session. Just developing a healthy relationship with your protectors can create a lot of progress, even if you don’t get to the stage of talking to the inner child.

@Raptorsin7 Sounds like you've found a coach whose work you find very helpful. Awesome. That'd be a cool experience to have a personal dating coach, come to think of it. Keep us updated in your journal! (If you feel comfortable of course )

-Giovanni Wan is helpful in that he teaches Asian guys how to become more attractive while dealing with the unique challenges that Asian guys face, especially in interracial dating. A lot of Asian guys vastly underestimate how open most women are to dating outside their race. Sure there are some who wouldn’t even date Henry Golding or Sendhil Ramamurthy, but that’s like 10% of women. Most women fall into two different categories: open to dating interracially depending on other factors, and prefer dating someone who can expose them to a different culture or exciting worldview. Those women tend to have high openness. (I personally think high openness is an attractive quality.) -This is all my opinion of course, but when it comes to dating advice it’s super important to learn primarily from psychologically healthy people who are happy and at peace with themselves. I’d say Giovanni Wan falls in that category (I’ve only watched a few of his videos.) I would also put James Marshall and Matthew Hussey (definitely) in that category. I’ve never seen any of John Elite’s content. -With dating you attract who you are. You attract people who are at the same level of psychological development, especially when it comes to looking for a long term relationship. You can attract someone healthier than you in the short term, but you will not be able to keep them. Either they’ll realize you’re toxic and lose attraction, or even more likely, you’ll sabotage the relationship because won’t believe someone could truly love you if you believe you’re fundamentally unloveable. Dr. K posted a video about this recently that was really good. How OnlyFans Monetizes Lonely Men. It’s why some hot girls who don’t love themselves prefer a guy who reflects their own self hatred back to them, instead of a guy who thinks they’re great and perfectly loveable. -There are coaches on youtube, both male and female, who scream “I have unresolved issues and don’t wanna solve them.” There’s a lot of money to be made in pressing client’s anger and fear buttons rather than helping them solve those issues because an angry, scared, desperate client is more likely to keep spending money. I tend to stay away from those coaches. Even though they probably have useful nuggets and entertainment value. However, if that type of coach helps improve someone’s situation, I’d say absorb the useful insights because that’s what’s most important.

@Peo You may find this video helpful. For the Asian guys here, Giovanni Wan is a PUA who specializes in helping other Asian guys. He seems less toxic and angry than other PUAs which is good.

The book list was updated in early 2021, but ironically the section that describes the updates hasn't been updated

Glad you enjoy! Ronny Chieng's hilarious. Here he is interviewing Andrew Yang about Universal Basic Income. That's only half the segment. I think you can only get the full clip in the US.

Yup, it's three books in one. Getting Rich, Being Well, Being Great. @Hafiz Noticed you're in Canada. If you're interested in the ebook in Canada, this is the best one since it has 10 books, including the three you're looking for. Only $2 Canadian! Wallace D. Wattles Ultimate Collection - 10 Books in One Volume

New Episode's Up!

This. Whoa

Geez Leo, what's with the super personal attacks? Fine, I'll do my gratitude mantras or whatever. ???(I'm kidding btw)

I look forward to hearing about this!

You may want to read that post. Halfway through the post there's a section on dopamine chasing and why it's unsatisfying. Dopamine is about wanting pleasure, not receiving pleasure. Wanting and receiving pleasure take place in different parts of the brain, which is why dopamine chasing leads to you needing more stuff to feel the same effect.