Barbara

Having a relationship for me helped me actualize 100% faster. A relationship can be a mirror for your ego depth, that you wouldn't otherwise see. There are so much insights that my relation gave me, and if you're both in spiritual and personal development it will be brutal. Better then psychedelics if you ask me

Check out the five hindrances. It's applied to meditation, but for study is also important.

On creating an habit, I fond that 5 minutes is better than 0 and failing just once is enough to ruin it all. Always always respect that one time. If you fail once, you will loose the habit easier. Approaching it this way really helps me to stay on track!

I said fear and resistance, since it might be scary leaving those things. Of course I was assuming you were somehow attached to it, and you know, fear is really just attachment and division. Since I don't know you, I can be wrong and disregard what i said if thats the case. What I meant is that if you try deep visualization and experience bad feelings, that might not mean you're going the wrong way. The right way, can feel hard to. But that's a very personal insight, probably doesn't ever matter in here. Well, I've never been near your situation, I really can't give you much advise on how to deal with a family such as yours. When I did vipassana, I did not talk to my parents for 15 days, and left the country for 35. They don't like or understand why I do these retreats, and still see me like a little girl, since I'm also young, but you know, I feel like telling them the truth about what I do, even if they don't understand, they get used to it. Best wishes

Hey! I'm in the same situation at the moment. I'm in law school, last year, but i dislike it so much. Just wanna leave and live in the middle of nature, alone. I'm completing the last year for now tho..

The ego has many ways of manifestation. You can perfectly be in a dissociation between what you think and how things would really go. To pursuit enlightenment you have to consider Maslow pyramid of needs. A homeless person will just be in constant struggle just to eat, have shelter, take a bath, be loved and love... For how bad things are they'll get much much worse if you have no house. Enlightenment while homeless is also really hard, since you will have no privacy, no time where you can just sit down, be in silence and meditate. However, i remember Leo saying that there are some humans who can actually pursuit enlightenment without having basic needs fulfilled. You can perfectly be one of those humans. For that, test yourself. Here's what i suggest: -Talk to you family. Let them know where you are. Always speak truth with them. Don't exaggerate or understate your situation. Tell them all that you feel. See if you can come to a deal. Maybe you have some place else to stay in country side or maybe they can help you every month if you leave the house. -Make a retreat. In Sweden you can make Vipassana taught by S.N. Goenka. Search it. One of the retreats https://sobhana.dhamma.org/the-centre-in-sweden/. Vipassana is utterly powerful. You will be able to test your self fully. -Try staying away one or two nights. Just in the streets. Be careful and safe. Go back home if needed. -Try deep visualization. Visualize your self in the situation of quitting school and leave your family. Fear and resistance will be apart of it. It doesn't mean you don't want to do it, only that there will be a lot of struggle associated with it. Know that. Learn your body language. And also, you are young, know that there's a lot to come. I'm not saying this so you postpone your decisions, but be humble about it. I wish you the absolute best Bárbara