Majed

For the last while, i had developed the habit of literally contemplating 24/7 except when i’m sleeping, so i be contemplating all the time even when i’m doing something else, i be in my mind contemplating “what is counsciousness” and just repeating that question over and over again, endlessly i got so much insights during this phase which just transformed me completely and even had a little taste of god. But i stopped it few weeks ago because it was making me physically tired to be contemplating all the time. Should i go back or not?

Okay so i’m gonna explain my situation and see what yall have to say about it. So basically i am 18 years old, i live in lebanon beirut, i have never done anything with any girl, never had a girlfriend, i tried pick up i did 200 approaches and i have problems with pick up in that:-first : i don’t have neither money to buy entrance to clubs nor a car to drive there so each time i wanted to go to a bar i had to walk for kilometers to reach the place which is exhausting as hell. Second: the places that i went to aren’t good enough in the sense that there was not enough high quality women there and it’s frustrating. Just today i was at the mall there were only like a group of 4 women together to which i felt really attracted to them, i approached them talked for a few seconds but they told me they all have boyfriends. And yeah also i don’t have money at all like it’s holding me back. Now the solution would be to focus on my studies and move to a better country. But until then, i mean it would take 4-5 years to move there until i finish my degree, how the hell am i gonna get laid in those 5 years until i move. Now i can maybe move and continue my studies directly in another country but i would have to work and study at the same time, which i don’t want to do because it will take me all my life to work and study at the same time like it’s exhausting as hell i believe. Any advice

@Leo Gura i’m gonna do whatever it takes to get laid, i already have an idea for how i can make money, but leo do you think i should focus more on my studies and on making money or on mediation, contemplation and reading books, cuz it’s getting hard to handle all this shit at once like yesterday i meditated for 2 hours, contemplated for an hour, walked for an hour, read for 2 hours, studied for an hour and watch a course on youtube for an hour, today i had a huge ego backlash i was fatigued and tired as fuck i couldn’t do shit except walking and a little bit of pick up, i will meditate also later on today but you got what i meant