misko55

Oh man , I´m in your shoes right now and I just decided to quit and change my job. What I'm planning is to find a transition job , I know it will not be the best , but bills don´t pay for themselves. I want to write and I do need time to build an audience and find my writing voice and that will take time. But the job I'm planning to take is going to teach me new language , meet new people and find stuff to write about.Think about something like that. Don´t just quit your job to get back to it a few months later when the bank dries up!!! Like the guys above me said , find your passion. You know what it is , maybe you don´t want to believe it. For me it was always writing but I didn't want it , because it doesn't pay much , it's not respectable and not considered a "real job" by a society. But now I agree wit Blessed above , money is not everything , trust your guts and be brave! If you need to talk I offer you my time , good luck bro!

Thank you for the kind words! Yes I decided to change my job, I'm there throughout the whole day and the best part of the day passes by.And I agree with you to sticking out until you get the experience but I feel I got everything I can from there and it´s time to move on.Well I wish you lot of luck with your job situation but you know what! I think we both learned by now that we are resourceful , don't you? Well I´ll find out as I will keep reading your journal

Well I failed or succeeded! I don´t know yet. That office it got to me , the moment I enter it , the air , the smell.It changes , it's not breathable , it's toxic. I had no time to work on myself. I stopped meditating , I stopped. I love helping , I promised I will help everybody , yet I failed. This Monday. There is this girl , I kinda like her , she has a good heart I can read people and she is struggling in that job just like me.11 months , thats how long I speak German , so I´m still not good at it and that stopped me to ask her if everything is OK. I knew it wasn´t but I also know that someone shoving an interest in you can help. Thursday she took a sick day with telling a colleague she is thinking of changing a job because she doesn't feel accepted.I was them I was this standard person just minding their own business ,a part of a problem , not a solution.I saw the pain in her eyes , I did nothing!I'm a freud ,but can change , right? If I see her I´ll tell her that I know how she feels , I bought a chocolate that I intend to give her if she will come back to work again. I decided I'm changing this job. Today is a school day and I´m not there and don´t know if I lost discipline or I´m fighting something? I said I want to dance in the rain , well it rained this Monday and I just got wet and pissed. That´s it , wet , pissed and miserable. Right now , as I´m writing this I´m on a bench in a park after meditating and watching ducks swim. This lake is 5 min from my home and I always dreamed about doing this , being that guy! Yet I would stay home and watch TV series or play games. Well , need to change that. I had a mental fight to get to that lake. I said I'm doing this , next time it rains I will get in the rain and fucking dance as I said I would.It was cold and wind started to blow so hard , I thought about turning back home , but no , not today.And as I got there , wind slowed down , sun shoved up. It was beautiful.I never stop and thing where I am.I always think where I will be or even worse , where I was. I smiled as ducks dived and then showed up on the surface ,ass first , hahaha. They are in tune with nature , I'm not. I'm disconnected with everything and everybody.And then kids showed up. Running to the ducks , being happy and I realized , kids know how to live , WE ALL KNEW HOW TO LIVE , but school , society , jobs... and we forgot.We can get back , reset , right?As I watched ducks just swimming around , diving , my fears,my anxieties were gone. I was connected to nature ,to something more then myself. That was my day and there and then I committed to this actualization thing , to hard work , to failure but no giving up. As I started to head home I turned around towards the lake , the ducks , the kids and just said "thank you" I don´t know where I´m going but I believe! I believe! And I feel alive , I hope you guys and gals find that feeling as well. Thank you for reading , that's all folks.

Wow and I thought I had it tough. Keep it up man , very impressed with that 1€ thing. I feel miserable at my job and thing about changing it , but keep thinking about the cost despite the fact I have saved a lot , still have cash from my work on a cruise ship and supporting parents so really , kudos for that. Real brave stuff.