Oppositionless

demonic isn't the right word.. it wasn't evil. but it was completely overwhelming and terrifying, like the cosmic horror novels of Lovecraft. A good analogy would be to say that I became Cthulu, if Cthulu was made out of hyperspatial non-euclidian geometry.

insights using a vape cart to prolong the trip with continuous drags is great. stop comparing yourself to others drop spiritual ego let go and relax it’s okay don’t judge the past that includes the past as in history but also your own past mistakes, failures, screw ups and lapses of judgement everything happens for a reaaon

Last night's mushroom trip was one of the worst / most important experiences of my life. It's hard to explain what I experienced in words, but I'm going to try. First off, I want to say that I approached this trip with a naive, arrogant attitude. I remember reading Leo's blog post, with the person saying he understood psychedelics because he'd taken two grams of mushrooms, and DMT / salvia are standing behind him all menacingly. I thought to myself, well I've done dmt so a high dose of mushrooms should be cake, I just wanna have a fun trip. So I made tea with about 6 grams of some very potent mushrooms. Holy shit, holy shit, holy fucking shit. The first half of the trip is what I would call "descent into madness." It felt like I was filled with all the evil and darkness in the world. I became a demon, I lost my humanity. I saw my inner psychotic. I thought I'd lost my mind, or rather I thought that I had always been insane, and that I was supposed to live away from society because there would simply be no chance of functioning in the real world. The second half of the trip is where things get interesting. I'm going to call this death / alien consciousness. I experienced a type of ego dissolution so powerful that I struggled to tell if I was still alive. I understood what Leo means by experiencing physical death on psychedelics. I thought about how my parents would go on without me. I wanted to send them a sign that I was still alive, in this other dimension. I understood what Leo means by alien consciousness, but it was a different flavor, not a blissful alien consciousness but a demonic alien consciousness. The tiny iota of human identity left in me could do nothing but repeat, like a mantra, "when I get back I'm going to have such a wild story to tell." It's frustrating because it's only been a eight hours since my trip and I still feel like I can only communicate 1% of what I experienced. I remember being terrified of falling asleep, because I thought if I went to sleep I would permanently cease to exist. Several minutes felt like hours, during physical death / alien consciousness time pretty much came to a standstill. lessons: DON'T UNDERESTIMATE MUSHROOMS. mushrooms are definitely a trickster spirit that will absolutely fuck you if you don't respect them. my dmt trips didn't take me even 10% as deep down the rabbit hole as this high dose mushroom trip. and the fact that it lasted for hours rather than minutes, holy shit. alien consciousness is real. you can experience what it's like to be an infinite hyper-dimensional living geometric machine. physical death is different from mere "ego death." I've experienced ego death numerous times. ego death on ketamine is fucking blissful. ego death on low doses of dmt is disorienting but in a few minutes it's over. this was different. this was the real deal. death death. it was terrifying, but also liberating. the line between sanity and insanity is thin. take care of yourself. that's all for now, if I have some more insights and more details to share I will. I don't see myself ever taking mushrooms again. lmao. but I couldn't have asked for a "better" final trip with them.

Jorge Luis Borges (“The Aleph”) was a South American short story author who helped to pioneer the “magical realism” genre. mystical phenomena would appear in mundane contexts. but he wasn’t just a writer , he was also a philosopher. and the magical realism featured in his novels was representative of the magical realism found in this world. https://medium.com/literary-impulse/the-circular-ruins-eea1bb0e3adc I’ve often wondered whether, when thinking about someone I am having a conversation and whether when I dream of someone I really am seeing them .

subjective idealism and direct realism are identical philosophical positions, and the position of every single consciousness on earth excluding human beings how obvious it would be if you were a cat

I would say death is an illusion but that's something for you to become conscious of. ironically, you won't realize it without facing your fear of death. make the most of this one life as if it was the only one you had and face your fears using psychedelics.

meditation is cool but contemplation is cooler.

I wanna make music that awakens everyone who listens to it, like Shpongle. imagine hearing that outro sampled in a pop song. so many third eyes would open.

there’s a whole category of Youtube videos attempting to simulate the visual effects of various substances, take a look: LSD Mushrooms DMT Datura/DPH (deliriants, this video is as close as I ever intend to get to experiencing)

Armchair skeptic : it [any random sober spiritual experience] is just a DMT trip. the DMT trip :

my life is a bubble. inside the bubble, everything is as I imagine it to be. outside the bubble, nothing is as I imagine it to be.

(spoiler alert) LOVE WINS

I’ve experienced a degree of sufering so intense that it has shut down my mind demonstrated my immortality as pure consciousness

yep, cause they haven't reached stage yellow.

maybe we could just de-fund the cartels by decriminalizing all drugs. cartel violence is a huge motivator for people crossing.

let's invest in lab-grown meat and build factories in all the impoverished regions of the world. make it so that it's more affordable than livestock.

@Enlightement If you're a noblewoman in the 1600's you probably suffered immensely. Men, maybe not.

@Davino Sarah Stephanie Landry, formerly Sarupapriya, was Nithyananda's media hype person for around 5 years before leaving his ashram and whistleblowing. okay, maybe she's lying. but regardless, guru worship is silly. There was a time when I wanted to join his ashram. I wanted to learn how to see through my third eye and crack coconuts with my mind.

90%. based on contemplation, psychedelics, astral projection, and nde's. doubt still creeps in, sometimes. especially when engaging with materialists. and sometimes I do go through periods of depression where I don't want to be immortal.

lol. maybe if it wasn’t so damn easy to get a gun there wouldn’t be as mucn violent crime.

sex offender nithyananda

it is infinitely more useful to manifest inmer qualities and talents than external things.

you can’t prove you’re all that is, but you cannot disprove it. thats a very lebnizian monad statement. windowless. no access to the outside world. scary?! to the self in my next life I’ll not care enough to worry ?

today I had a succesful attempt! once again I made it to sleep paralysis during a daytime nap. I knew once I heard that loud dmt ringing noise that it was my chance, I tried a few different exit techniques and boom, there I was high above the couch as if I was reaaally tall standing over myself the room looked alien, very clearly my own but also… different. it’s hard to explain. it only lasted a few seconds, I think it would have lasted longer but I was caught off guard by the alien vibes I was getting and the fact that the ringing was louder this time. In my dream I did dmt out of the vape pen again. Dreaming about it is weird. my unconscious mind is still trying to process that intensity? you can blur the line between asleep and awake through consciousness.

I used to pop acid like it was candy back when I was young and dumb so my ego likes this, lol.