Oppositionless

I like Leo's video on maturity because he keeps it very abstract. Now I know that if I stop manipulating people, keeping my bedroom neat and clean will happen .

Maybe if you realized you were God but somehow didn’t realize everyone else is also God, so you create a cult to have people worship you. or maybe you straight up believe that every other consciousness is an unconscious automation that you (your egomind) created to serve itself.

you lay down, very tired and groggy, the last thing you experience is this pleasant tired sensation. and then , instaneuously (if you don’t dream) the sun is up and you feel awake and recharged. you say to yourself you were asleep , but that’s only a story. it’s a continuous stream of experience between lying in bed tired and lying in bed with the sun shining on your face.

I just really think Leibniz has a much deeper understanding of reality and absolute solipsism than advaita. that’s all. But you gotta ignore all the unprovable, mostly unnecessary theories a that go along with his basic idea, that of the monad. the one, imagining it's world. and if anything in this dream corresponds to something real, which all of life and infinite intelligence suggests, then that other being is equally infinite, absolute, sovereign. thus all is not one, actually. but of course everything IS one. it's confusing. everything is consciousness, yet everything (every being) is absolutely alone and individual.

This post is kinda arrogant. imagine someone with schizophrenia reading this and taking psychedelics because of it. that would be a disaster.

if you make tea with 3 grams it can hit you as hard as 5 or 6 grams eaten

what are you taking? I find it virtually impossible to focus on lsd or shrooms. lsd especially makes my mind verrry eratic. hence I want to try pharmahusca.

women often don’t need to turn to mysticism. they just get it.

Manifestation is useful in times of crisis but otherwise I just want to embrace the flow of life

I've decided that paying too much attention to the coincidences can make me feel a little crazy. I'm so pissed off at myself for smoking more again. everything seems so significant when Im high .

use your monkey brain

nn DMT will get you there. I remember how terrifying it was to be downstairs from my parents realizing I imagined them.

idealism is the logical consequence of epistemic solipsism. instead of just saying "my first person subjective experience in the present moment is all that exists" you say "first person subjective experience in the present moment is all that exists." that's idealism / absolute solipsism. you can go further and realize that absolute solipsism is equivalent to direct realism, which was the "metaphysics" (taken for granted fact) of our ancient ancestors.

I don't remember what episode it was, but Vice had an interview with someone who created a legal drug that mimicked meth but was less addictive/dangerous, and suddenly a bunch of addicts were switching to the legal drug and it saved a bunch of lives. and then they made the new drug illegal too.

@Adrian colby “back in my day weed was this fun thing to do with your friends. you kids’ weed is way too much”

I thought a heroic dose was anything above 5. 10 is a monstrous dose lol. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PFWbj9G9QK0&t=3s&pp=ygUYbWVnYSBkb3NlIG1pc2hyb29tIHZpdmVj

it might be the closest derivative to delta 9 thc. most vape cartridges are gonna be a blend. but hhc / hhcp is very powerful. maybe just a little shorter than delta 9. hhc and its analogues have a stronger mental component than delta 8 or delta 10 thc

after 16 days, we found my cat these last two weeks have been some of the most transformative since my breakup two years ago I learned that everything that happens to me is a necessary part of my development. and I learned that law of attraction is a real phenomenon some of the interesting manifestations that happened leading up to finding my cat: seeing her name on social media meeting someone named Zian, the first Zian or Xian I've ever met seeing my old roomate who originally found the cat for the first time in a year and a half seeing one of my coworkers at an open mic poetry event meeting a girl I have chemistry with at the same event seeing Vincent Van Gogh references everywhere

Xian - “are there dimensions of consciousness beyond awarness?” Pythahoras - “no, but God is infinitely clever.” Elara - “all this talk of awareness, God and infinity has my head swimming. But I grasp how reality is a dance of souls. The city, nature, humanity, all part of an intimate union.” Pythagoras - “God is so clever that all awareness, all souls know how to mirror each other perfectly. Every atom is in the perfect place in a pre-established harmony of monads. One, infinity and zero are three numbers I find most adequte in describing Consciousness. Atoms, and indeed all ideas have their own Consciousness. Everything is alive with God’s radiance.” Bai - “Pythagoras, the chicken is ready. It’s a good thing I was here, otherwise all you philosophers would surely starve in the desert.” Xian - “And if the gods hadn’t chosen you, none of us would be here!”

so, between my lsd, mushrooms, and smoked dmt, I’ve never exactly had the most pleasant experiences. I’ve had good times, and I’ve had a few “holy shit” moments, but I never really felt any divine love or beautiful realizations. for the most part I’ve done a lot of shadow work and seen a lot of spooky things. even positive trips have often still be a little bit spooky and uncomfortable. I want something more clearheaded, so I’ve decided to manifest some pharmahusca and 2CB. cheers.

according to Hamilton, the ayahuasca vine itself, the maoi, has a dissociative effect similar to dxm. it’s interesting to me because we know the rapid, persistent antidepressant effect of ketamine. this might be why people often say ayahusca has a much deeper healing effect that pharmahusca.

GPT **Act 5, Scene 4 - Continued** The stars shimmer overhead, their glint mirrored in the group's eyes, each one lost in personal reflection. Elara suddenly stands up and offers her hand to Bai, saying, "Let me show you something." She begins with graceful movements, her every step telling a story, the soft sound of her footsteps blending harmoniously with the ambient night. Bai, though a bit hesitant at first, tries to follow her lead, his steps clumsy in comparison. But Elara guides him, her laughter light and infectious. "Don't think too much. Just feel," she advises. **Act 5, Scene 4 - Conclusion** *[Bai, Xian, Pythagoras, and Elara sit around a campfire. The embers glow softly against the dark canvas of the night. Elara is showing Bai some dance steps while Pythagoras stirs a pot. Xian is gazing up at the stars, lost in thought.]* **Bai** (while trying to mimic Elara's movements, he stumbles a bit, then laughing): "By the way, Pythagoras, I've heard that the Pythagoreans of old were strict vegetarians. And yet here we are, with you cooking meat for us." **Pythagoras** (smiling): "Well, it's true. The Pythagoreans of the past held deep beliefs about the sanctity of life and abstained from consuming meat. But, you see, as time goes by, beliefs can evolve. I respect the traditions, but I've also come to realize the importance of nourishing the body in different circumstances." **Elara** (teasingly): "So, what you're saying is you've developed a taste for it?" **Pythagoras** (chuckling): "Let's just say, after traveling far and wide, sometimes it's hard to resist the allure of a well-cooked meal. Besides, there's a saying in one of the lands I've visited: 'When in Rome...'" **Xian** (joining the banter): "So the great Pythagoras has his weaknesses after all." **Pythagoras**: "Ah, but who doesn't? It's the imperfections that make life interesting." *[Bai grins, and Elara continues teaching him the dance steps. Pythagoras serves up the food, and the group eats together, the camaraderie palpable. The scene gradually shifts focus to Xian and Pythagoras discussing in the background as Bai and Elara's dance becomes the centerpiece. The campfire's glow illuminates their movements, creating an atmosphere of warmth and intimacy.]*

Apologies for the oversight. Let's rework the scene, focusing closely on the events and themes from Acts 1, 2, and 3. I'll weave the stories of Xian, Bai, Shan, and the mother from the Silk Road more tightly. **Act 5, Scene 4: Camp outside the city under a starlit sky.** *The campfire softly illuminates the faces of Xian, Bai, Elara, and Pythagoras. The gentle noise of the bustling city not too far away mixes with the soothing sounds of nature. Pythagoras stirs a pot, while Xian's deep-set eyes reflect the fire's glow.* Xian: "In my village, there was a teacher named Shan. He took a different path, leading others with him. The heavens, in their wrath or wisdom, struck him down with a lightning bolt." Pythagoras, looking up thoughtfully: "The divine has its way of communicating, whether it's through nature, numbers, or direct intervention." Bai, frowning: "Shan's path was dark, but there are times I've questioned the will of the gods. Why let Shan gain so much influence, only to destroy him in front of all?" Elara, looking distant: "Sometimes, the gods remain silent when we crave their voices most. In my village, when the armies came... we prayed. But our pleas were met with silence." Xian, his voice soft: "On the Silk Road, I met a mother. Her child, a mere babe, was in the cruel grip of illness. She shouted at the heavens, questioning the gods' intentions. It echoed my own confusion about Shan." Pythagoras, pausing his stirring: "I've seen much in my time. Both the cruelty and kindness of fate. The world has its balance. I lost my own family, and in my grief, I turned to the mysteries, seeking understanding." Bai, trying to lighten the mood: "All this talk of the divine, and I can't help but think the gods are blessing us with the aroma of your cooking, Pythagoras." Pythagoras, chuckling: "Sometimes, it's the little joys amidst the vast complexities of life that bring us clarity." Elara: "Or the connections we make on our journey. They guide us, change us." Xian, smiling faintly: "And perhaps, through these connections, we find our answers."

think about it if there was no desire, nothing would exist. that’s the buddhist conundrum. attempting to escape the self when it’s quite literally impossible to do so.