SamC

I'm in many ways the opposite of a modest person. I have always wanted to be a special snowflake until recently when I realized that trying to be special just cause suffering. ( yet I still want to be special in some way) fuck maybe I want to become modest to become special still. Anyway, I want to become less special and more modest. How do I go about becoming extra - ORDINARY ? Thanks The pixture ilustrates a definition on Modesty for those who don't know.

Love ang

Wow, great share!

Youre smart af Thanks!

Yeah but the same goes with forcing to accept myself in a sense. ( if I just push law of attraction I love and accept myself so much style). Sometimes I can't accept myself - and when that happens I need to accept that + the resistance. It's hard to accept yourself

Yeah of corse. Sadguhuru for example I would say Is modest/ humble, but he still is not playing dumb and is leading Isha. It's a paradox. Thanks for your perspective!

Wow, super well said! Thank you. So what to do? I get it I am already there but I'm not aware of it. So I should focus on continuing to raise my conciousess. Something else?@mandyjw Yeah, drop the thoughts about everything and step more into being. That's almost like a higher level KBT or ACT. Love it.

I would not say relationships are a joke, but that relationships based on codependency create even more issues for all parties. Fear based relationships never create real love - only more fear, suffering and ego. The same goes with everything.

Okey, this is starting to look like a really bad tragic comedy. Every single girl I attract is basically depressed and borderline suicidal. What is this?? How can I solve this? I know that it has to do with me having a strong inseceure ego which wants to get super loved and be super needed by the girl, but I still don't get it. Any insights about why this is and how to go about it would be greatly appreciated.

Because I need to become something different in order to be loved. When I feel like I can fully express myself and be that, I will drop the need to become a special snowflake sex god That's the paradox. I need to be okey with the truth, and when that happens - I won't need or desire to be something else.

Ahhh now I got an insight, maybe it is just letting truth speak for itself with out the need to be something else. Just being with the truth and not needing to do shit about it. My problem is that I need everyone to love me, and that I therefor must manipulate to become special in order to be loved. Im in other words not comfortable showing and expressing my truth. In even more other words, I am kind of comfortable understanding the truth, but not being the truth. Hmmm what the fuck is this, this gets me even more confused. LOL

Thoughts and concepts baby It's just an idea that is created to get love - yet love is all there is

Not being overly proud of oneself. How to be an ordinary person.

Bingo Yeah I know. Yet, I still want certain stuff so bad that people have and that I don't have. It's an ego thing. Almost like, if you have something and I don't - no one should have it. It's a neediness Ahh Insight popped,Now I get it I think. Cause that thing that X person has Is valueble and if someone has that X Thing that I don't have and that means that he is valueble and deserving of love, while I am not and therefore I don't want the person to have it cause I see it as a zero sum game where if that person has it and I don't - I lose ( don't get love)

Might have to plug some 5meo in my ass

I think lack of self love and self esteem is what is lacking actually. This pic gave me that intuition. Thanks for sharing

Yeah but the question is, is there something else I am missing?

@neutralempty This is the most interesting thing ever. Thank you so much for sharing. Where have you learned this? Do you have any recommended recorses to learn more about this? I don't think this can be created if the other one is in fear mode aswell though ( if the motivation to do it, is selfish). Besides that - this is not about fixing someone in that way right? This to me sounds more like some sage level loving shit and just accepting the person as they are and giving love. Maybe this is what they mean by the quote, " love can heal". Hmmmm. Again thanks for sharing, if there is anymore you want to add aswell, feel free to do so (:

This might very well be the case! What gets me thinking however is if this dynamic is because of me and that I therefor simply can't attract a girl who is not depressed. ( because of my inner game) I am aware this sounds like a limiting belifef but on the other hand, the inner game is most certainly the root cause to this problem in some way... But you know what, maybe it's a paradox. Maybe it is my inner game but if I choose consciously and get out and pick up some high quality girls, that will help me to heal/ reprogram my mind? What do you say about this theory?@Leo Gura Anyway I certainly should try going outside my social circle before drawing any more conclusions about this. Experience is king, only than I will now what is true.

Not sure what you mean. feel free to elaborate and explain (: If you mean that the highest form of self love in this case is to not go into a Codependent relationship, I agree. Thats my whole point

My man, you're spiral dynamics stage Yellow. That's what I thought! Lol. One can legit sense that! Thanks for the info. @flowboy

A suicidal depressed girl is not high quality, in the same way as a alcoholic or drug addict guy is not high quality. It's not about the value or quality in that sense though, it's more about - will this be healthy. I know many woman and men who got attracted to eachoter and one was a total freak. It's not about attraction or love - it's about if the relationship is based on codependency/ dependency or not. Why shouldn't an Incel who isn't perfect not be loved? Cause it's about survival, not unconditional love. ( and unconditional does not include becoming codependent btw, codependent relationships = fear and ego. Not love. One should have nothing to do with trying to fix someone. Sure, you could want to help but not fix someone from scratch. That's A impossible and B super unloving towards yourself. The relationship will be toxic. Again, It's not about not loving someone. It's about loving yourself enough to understand that a codependent relationship - is not good for you, or the other person in the long run.

@neutralempty Super true! (: What do you want? Just curios.

You're too kind. The same love and support is coming right back at ya. It's true, we need to work on ourselves and than find a woman who is compatible to that person we are yet to become ( and at the same time we already are). It's important to note though, a loving girl is not = a girl who is desperatly needs us. I need to make that distinction. Yeah man, I know - openmindness for the girl is one of the keys. I'm always scanning for that. What is a bit sad however is that, some girls can be super openminded but at the sametime super depressed. Good luck to you and in your journy. I hope you will get all that you want - you seem like a great guy, who deserves the best. #wewantpussyaswellthough