SamC

Letting people develop in their own time and less debating is one thing I've noticed I'm doing less as I've started to move more and more into yellow. This goes hand in hand with giving yourself a break aswell when you notice the same thing withing yourself. Also, noticing that people always do their best and can't help themselves when they are being unaware and biased was a huge one for me. Still have a lot more integration left though

Its probably because of religios stereotypes from our old society ): The sad thing is however that most guys would love for girls to feel comfortable being more flirty and to make the first move - I mean most guys don't even dare to do it themselves. It's a bless and a curse to have to approach and do the work and I honestly think that besides the slutshaming dynamic that unfortunatly exists in our society, most guys would be down for girls to try to pick them up aswell. In fact, many guys are terrified at being classified and judged as a pig, fuckboy, creep or whatever from the woman they approach, just like girls are scared of being seen as sluts. It's a hole dynamic of fear of being hurt, not seen, unloved, dumped, seen as a pig, seen as a slut that creates this narrative, where everyone suffers the consequences. The best would be if everyone, both guys and girls would be able to feel free and allowed to talk, flirt and fuck whoever they want - and that that would be the norm. This of corse in a highly concious way where more understanding and love towards everyone is present - including to ourselves. I understand your frustration. @Preety_India

@StateOfMind It's a paradox. In one way it is, but in another way it is not. There is nothing wrong with wanting to develop your ego - thinking this is in itself ego and fear. Ego is not bad - only ego makes it so Here is the thing though, self improvement often means, I need X cause otherwise Y Z or Q will happen which litterly is based on fear. The same goes with the thought- I shouldn't develop myself cause that's ego or self actualization is ego. Instead of this approach I belive that one should strive towards what we want to do, not what we don't want to do or have. This is the real definition of self actualization/ self transcendence for me. And this does not soly mean doing things to get something, but also accepting ourselves, our emotions and our desires as they are. For if we repress it, that will not be loving towards ourselves. ( note if you repress something, than that's what you should strive to love) If you repress your desires cause you're afraid of it being ego, is that love?

I haven't watched it yet, but it will be interesting to hear his thoughts on it. Here is the vid. What are your thoughts?

I mean Charisma command on YouTube is a pretty obvious one but this channel mostly covers social skills and stuff that can raise your social intelligence and understanding of people. Besides this, Leo did a video on humor - you can check that one out If you want. Being 100 % authentic and charismatic is in my opinion not neccessary the same thing though. I have been hella charming sometimes, while at the sametime not being myself. It's good to be both yourself, and get better at social interactions. What I would do if I was you is to learn from Charisma on command, Leo and Teal Swan + read plenty of books on charisma and social interactions + maybe a seduction course + continue with spiritual purification exercises ect and than just go out and practice practice practice. In other words learn to be charismatic by learning the psychology behind how to be charismati ( social inteligens) + learn to be yourself via meditation, shadow work, shamanic breathing ect.

Might be the case. I have no idea whatsoever

I wonder what @Leo Gura thoughts on this are?

LOL

Interesting perspective! Thanks

Acording to research conservatives tend to score lower on openness and higher on conscientiousness than those who consider themselves as liberals for example. Furthermore, we know for a fact that biology has a massive impact on our big 5 personality types, and that some people, in other words are not born to have high openes in their personality profile. If this is the case this should inform us that some people are not born to be spiral dynamics stage yellow - for they can't be open minded enough due to their lack of openes to experience. Here is my questions regarding this that I'd be super interesed to hear your answers to! 1: Does this mean that some people are "doomed" to be stuck on a lower stage for the rest of their life's because of their biology? 2: Is it even realistic that a conservative who is super closed minded can become a stage yellow in this life time? 3: Isn't spiral dynamics more of a modell on personality types than ego development? I mean, If all the people can't climb up - doesn't that open up for the possibility of sprial dynamics being an illusion which in reality mostly describes personality types? ( I mean it certainly is both - but some people can't seem to be bound by their personality) 4: If the answer to question 3 is yes. Could it be that some people must become another personality type to become a stage yellow eventually? ( like going from an ENTJ to an INFP, INTP or whatever) 5: Are there some MBTI personality types who tend to be more stage Yellow or torques than the other one's? Looking forward to an interesting discussion down below.

I'm in many ways the opposite of a modest person. I have always wanted to be a special snowflake until recently when I realized that trying to be special just cause suffering. ( yet I still want to be special in some way) fuck maybe I want to become modest to become special still. Anyway, I want to become less special and more modest. How do I go about becoming extra - ORDINARY ? Thanks The pixture ilustrates a definition on Modesty for those who don't know.

Love ang

Wow, great share!

Youre smart af Thanks!

Yeah but the same goes with forcing to accept myself in a sense. ( if I just push law of attraction I love and accept myself so much style). Sometimes I can't accept myself - and when that happens I need to accept that + the resistance. It's hard to accept yourself

Yeah of corse. Sadguhuru for example I would say Is modest/ humble, but he still is not playing dumb and is leading Isha. It's a paradox. Thanks for your perspective!

Wow, super well said! Thank you. So what to do? I get it I am already there but I'm not aware of it. So I should focus on continuing to raise my conciousess. Something else?@mandyjw Yeah, drop the thoughts about everything and step more into being. That's almost like a higher level KBT or ACT. Love it.

I would not say relationships are a joke, but that relationships based on codependency create even more issues for all parties. Fear based relationships never create real love - only more fear, suffering and ego. The same goes with everything.

Okey, this is starting to look like a really bad tragic comedy. Every single girl I attract is basically depressed and borderline suicidal. What is this?? How can I solve this? I know that it has to do with me having a strong inseceure ego which wants to get super loved and be super needed by the girl, but I still don't get it. Any insights about why this is and how to go about it would be greatly appreciated.

Because I need to become something different in order to be loved. When I feel like I can fully express myself and be that, I will drop the need to become a special snowflake sex god That's the paradox. I need to be okey with the truth, and when that happens - I won't need or desire to be something else.

Ahhh now I got an insight, maybe it is just letting truth speak for itself with out the need to be something else. Just being with the truth and not needing to do shit about it. My problem is that I need everyone to love me, and that I therefor must manipulate to become special in order to be loved. Im in other words not comfortable showing and expressing my truth. In even more other words, I am kind of comfortable understanding the truth, but not being the truth. Hmmm what the fuck is this, this gets me even more confused. LOL

Thoughts and concepts baby It's just an idea that is created to get love - yet love is all there is

Not being overly proud of oneself. How to be an ordinary person.

Bingo Yeah I know. Yet, I still want certain stuff so bad that people have and that I don't have. It's an ego thing. Almost like, if you have something and I don't - no one should have it. It's a neediness Ahh Insight popped,Now I get it I think. Cause that thing that X person has Is valueble and if someone has that X Thing that I don't have and that means that he is valueble and deserving of love, while I am not and therefore I don't want the person to have it cause I see it as a zero sum game where if that person has it and I don't - I lose ( don't get love)