SamC

I think some use labels and some don't. Unless you're enlightened you will always manipulate, with or without using labels though. The real question is if that even is a successful relationship however. Depends on what a successful couple entails. Is a couple that has a neurotic dynamic going on but still love each other/ grow old together successful? If two want a really successful relationship both obviously needs to be enlightened and for that both has to been on the spiritual path in some sort of way.

bruh The reason for the outrage is never due to the outside world being wrong, only the inner world judging it as such.

@sleep By talking to people and making them frel appreciated, heard and seen. There are so many awesome genuine people out there.. You just have to find them. The thing with deep friendships however is that you have to be vulnerability and dare to open up about your struggles, feelings and emotions. If you do that with the right people, a deep friendship will start to take place.

@RendHeaven Great share man!

I appreciate that you did. @RendHeaven

By being interested in other people, asking lots of quedtions and trying to make them feel seen and appreciated.

On valentines day too ???

My life purpose is to give hope to people by giving them direct insights about themselves. I want to do this through public speaking ( Teal Swan style) + create and relese music that gives them direct insights about themselves. In other words I want to have 2 mediums for my LP? Is that okey, realistic and possible? I mean, you're preparing a book + do the actualized videos. It should be okey right? Both things tie into another. What do you say?@Leo Gura Would also love help and guidance from all of you guys and gals aswell. Thank you!

@Javfly33 Yeah I agree, letting go of the need to even be yourself. Still working through that myself. I misinterpreted what you meant + projected a negative narrative around not being yourself in the sense that it is wrong. I very often have tricked myself into being somewhere I have been not which by itself is based on an assumption that I still need to go somewhere. I still judge myself for not being myself. Thanks for expanding my conciousness around this (: Ps. What you just said is what the enmeshment trauma concept made me realize

Technically nothing ever happend, so what? Take what you can, leave the rest. Don't fall into the " not enlightened enough trap". Leo is not fully awake either - yet we are both still here. If you have a problem, dare to consider different solutions to your problem. Here is one potential solution. Investigate the term enmeshment trauma and see if it can help you. Don't tute your horn before you even tried it. Try it and see if you can find value from it. Or don't... you don't have to. It is simply a suggestion based on what have helped me enormously. All love mate. @Javfly33

Yeah I get that. I meant with the branching out of the mediums. Did you know you wanted to do other creative work in regards to your LP or were you in the beginning only planning to share your creative work through your current medium and nisch when you started? ( the long, detailed actualized vids) @Leo Gura

Gold. Thanks Leo! This cleared up a lot of my confusion. Did you know you wanted to branch out ( with books and stuff) when you started actualized.org or was it something that came organically with the process?@Leo Gura

@Leo Gura What do you say?

@Javfly33 I never said that you haven't grown or that it is black/ white. All I said was that I think you're not fully yourself becuase you still belive that that person is unacceptable.

By finding your authentic self and than learning to assert that person + to learn how to rely on yourself to capitalize on your best interest. Besides this, to learn to accept and feel your emotions and accept yourself as you are through the methods I mentioned earlier. I'll be honest with you bro, I don't think you are yourself, I belive you're tricking yourself to belive that becuase you're scared to not be yourself. I mean you said it yourself. Being normal is according to you not enough and you're scared of not asserting yourself ( not being yourself) I know this because I know myself too well. I mean don't you also beat yourself up when yu're not yourself, stressed and non assertive/ not confident?

@Javfly33 The solution is in grasping what enmeshment trauma. That's the core problem as to why you're suffering from perfectionism. Understanding that spells out the solution. You need in other words to research this yourself to fully understand it but in short, you would benefit greatly to learn how to trust yourself and come to peace with yourself + learn to set boundaries but at the same time learn to love and accept who you are for who you are. This is for example done through fragmentation work, self love/ self acceptance work, boundaries and conciousness work. Right now you feel like you're not enough as you are and that's because your enmeshment trauma have learned you to belive that you're worthless as you are and that you need to change the person you are in order to fit in. The solution is to heal that wound that says that who you are right now, isn't enough. This means learning to love and accept all of yourself, Including that person who is scared and dont assert himself. If you ever wonderd why you always feel like who you are gets " destroyed " when you're with other people, here is why. You play roles to fit in becuaee you have been forced to sacrifice your own needs, wants and desires in order to get love and belonging earlier in your childhood. That's also why you're so desperately searching to assert and stand up to yourself, because that's your healing path. Here are some good vids about the topic. Hope that helps.

You blame yourself becuase you have a core belief that you are worthless and that you need to change. I feel you man. I struggle with this too. Again, you judge yourself for doing that becuase you belive there is something wrong with you. This is due to your low self esteem. Look up the term enmeshment trauma. Right now you feel like you dont have a separate self when you're with other people. You people please and manipulate the environment in order to get belonging. This is due to your childhood, where you didnt get love for who you was but for what you did. You had to mirror your parents wants and behaviors in order to receive love and belonging.

@rnd I think you think like this because of fomo and low self esteem. You don't want others to do well because you think that If others succeed you will be less. The reason why you don't see the value in sharing it is because your big fat ego and selfishness + because you're so attached to be better than other people to have a sense of self worth.

No, I am not enlightend. My problem is that I don't even know my ego self. All my life I've been playing a persona that is not me in order to get love and now I have realized that don't even know who I am. I only know how to play and adapt to other people. When I manage to play that persona effectively and really belive that I am that person many people belive that I am super charismatic, charming, confident, extroverted and with little fear over what people think. As soon as I in one way or another leave that role however, I feel super socially anxious, uncertain, insecure and unworthy and people of course notice that also. The fear is always there of corse, but the real problem is that I don't know who I am + even dare to be that person. The root problem is low self esteem caused by enmeshment trauma. Does anyone have any reccomend soultions to this challenging situation? What is your advice to finding oneself? All tips, recommended recorces, ideas and input are welcome. Thank you! @Leo Gura

❤❤❤ right back at you@Surfingthewave

Of Course. Your passion for that type of online marketing might be your nisch ( entrepreneurship) Yeah, so why don't you invent something that's related to it that you can market + meanwhile practice your marketing skills, or market yourself as someone who helps people market their high conciousness Idea and make profit on their high conciousness idea. If you so that, then you can help people to become higher conciousness. I'm just idea bombing, take what you can. You got this.

@Sandy6 I think that your approach in trying to figure this out logicially is what is holding you back. What does your heart want to do? Do some small bets on that and see how you feel. LP is not about logic, it's about what you want and what you love to do. Do what your soul is obsessed with. That's your L.P. Also remember the dunning Kruger effect. If you know that you're not excellent yet at something you love to do, than you're probably a lot better than you belive you are. If you have deep passion for it, you're probably very good at it.

Do you have a commonplace book where you have taken notes and saved all the exercises you've done? I have done the L.P course and found my L.P and what I discovered was that the answer could be found if you look for the pattern in all your answers. Also remember, the LP often is so obvious that you overlook it. Your LP is often what you do all the time.

@Eren Eeager Selective mutism is a diagnosis for severe social anxiety. I don't know if that's what you have becuase it's rare but I might aswell mention it so that you can investigate it for yourself. I sometimes experience something similar when I am super anxious in general or when I am super self concious and am talking to someone who I am super scared to upset or say something "wrong" to. When this happens I lock myself and have trouble talking in a way that is fluent and charismatic + usually become really quiet because. I don't think this is exactly it though. You're talking about when you really can't find any words, right?

They can talk about it with guys they know, trust and have fucked. Not with a random guy on a random app as the first question of the day. It's all about context. Porn is a super weird opener and topic to talk about with a stranger btw.. Do you even talk about this with your friends lol? I think you try to use porn as a way into a sexual convo, not becuase it is a super facinating topic. And that's probably what the girls that call you a creep sense aswell. They sense your neediness and that you want something from them. Your approach is to take value from them without having to give anything back. You want something valueble and expect to get it for free without giving the girl what she wants in order for her to feel comfortable and want to have that convo with you. Your approach is backwards.