SamC

Yeah.. like I get that XDXD but it's so fucking annoying when people look for everything that is wrong and make conclusions based on what they belive. EDIT: I know know... it's because I do the exact same thing. I interpret stuff, danger and missunderstandment that doesn't exist ^^^^

Would love your perspectives and explanations.

Everything XDXD except for when I myself become a victim of the people victimizing themselves and blaming it on me. I get angry at the reaction for some reason. ( I've got a looot better at this but I still have a lot i haven't integrated there)

Last friday I continued my pick up journey and went out and approached 5 girls. 2 said they had a bf and 3 gave me their snap/ number. ALL OF THEM FLAKED. It's really fucking discouraging, especially because it felt like I did a much better job this time and all of them seemed to " like me" and appreciate me talking to them. I also stated that I was there to take them out and not be their "friend" while stated that I found them attractive. I went home as a king and thought I had figured out and become a natural but Noooo, I had not. 2 unfriended/blocked me, one right after I had left and one after I sent a snapchat to her and the other one just didn't reply. I think one problem surely lies in my messages coming off as to needy but I think my main issue was that I was friendly - AND NOT Seductive. I didn't make the conversation flirty/created the masculine polarity which honestly fucking scares me because I don't feel like I I can create that. I am a pretty feminie dude, kinda scared, insecure but at the same time a master at making people like me and playing a role. That has been my strategy - which I for a second thought would ignite the path for pussy to me but no, I need to learn how to become more masculine while at the same time being me. But how do you do that? I think I have that power hidden somewhere underneath but how do I relese it - the right way? How do I find my masculine power that is authentic to me? Leo said one way is to go fuck some girls but I am not there yet. Like that's where I want to go but how do I even get there XDXD, Leo? @Leo Gura

All I can say is that I'm looking forward to buy your services. Sounds so cool! I would personally love to see a chief providing healthy yet ridiculously taste meals and changing the way of gastronomi and stuff like that. Go after your dream. Whatever it is. We need you. What is the potential in psychoactive food that you see? I am curious!

@Etherial CatThanks Cat! This was really nice that you wanted to encourge me. It's healing becuase many times it feels like Woman despise men for doing pick up which makes many men feel really missunderstood. ( Just like you girls do when we guys project our own judgement about or femine side onto you.) It means more then you can think! I texted them two of them the day after and the third 2 days after!

@StarStruckYeah bro. It's super counterintuitive. I always thought that when people said I should be more feminine that they talked bullshit becuase I already felt to feminine and that girl's didn't want me becuase of that... but trust me bro There is something very very important to the idea of integrating and loving your feminie side that could potentially change your entire life and get you what you want, Sex and girls. Big fucking cheers to you for being open minded enough to atleast investigate it for yourself. That's a very mature approach. If you want a leeway to do this: Search for and investigate " anima possession/ repression" and reap the benefits from it. It will change your life if you grasp that dynamic.

I can see how that can work XDXD

@Kshantivadin Yeah.. Any tips on how I can develop this? What should I say instead? Any good video/ recorder you know. I cringe at my self but I'm gonna share it anyway eventhough I am scared. I said to one. " Nice to meet you last night, awsome that you like psychology aswell - I like that. Are you adventurous ?" "And to the other one: hey, Sam here ( the super charming boy that you meet in town the other day)? wazzup, what's happening?" "And something along the line " Hi Marxsist? nice talking to you yesterday. Me and my friend are going to take a drink at XXXX. wanna join us?" The third girl ( third message) blocked me right after I added her on snap after we had had a long convo. She was there with her friend. She joked that she was a marxsist and we connected really well. I think I was to explicit and needy. The same with the other 2. I sent message 1 and 2 one day after and message 3 two days after. Side note: in 2 of the approches the girls friends complimented me on being charming and that they felt safe around me and that I had a nice "open energy but again.. that's not seductive energy. What's your experience with this? ( what's " seductive energy"?) Is that IT or is that just me being friendly and charismatic in a normal platonic way?

Do you mind sharing why that is. Super intriguing to hear. My first thought was no that's BS but I think you're right and wanna learn more. @Emerald

You dudes should really look inte anima repression/ obsession. For the longest time I thought that the toxic femine side only existed outside of me but that's just the self deception, the defense mechanism. My life have always been highlighted by feeling victimized, hurt and rejected by woman so I really get you guys. I understand how you feel... that the experience is that woman reject you, becuase they do.. but realize that you do the same thing to yourself. If you can't stand your feminine energy, how the fuck will the femine energy stand you? That's the problem and please please please don't take my word for it. Just investigate it and use it as a theory. Your feminine side gets disowend by your masculine side which makes your feminine side reject your masculine side which creates war. The same toxic dynamic of toxic feminity is not only found outside you - it's already fucking inside you. There is a full out war between two shadows in your psyche. @Gabith Besides that. Here are some other characteristics of toxic shadow feminie. Feeling victimized Passive aggressiveness Manipulation ( covert ways of getting needs meet)

I never said that you was interested in Incel ideology. You asked for an example of toxic feminity and I gave you one

Here is a counterintuitive example. Incel ideology: Reason: Because it's a basically a shadow feminie mechanism - the exact very same mechanism that woman who hate men have. That's the reason why both hate eachother. They are both examples of toxic, shadow, unintegretad divine feminine.

I don't buy that. If you create attraction some girls will be up for it. Especially if you frame it in a light hearted way so that both can discover if they like eachoter and then take it from there. @Leo Gura

Yeah I am slowly but surely converting into trying primal therapy. 3 more threads and I'll be there XDXD I'll try it lol

@LastThursday Thanks for the encouragement man. The beginning face is really challenging and rough - with a lot of self-doubts. I appreciate your support and advice. Maybe I make to quick conclusions.

Yeah and catch - 22 makes us go around in circles and bang ourselves out of it eventually. It's a way of guiding us home. If you have low self esteem for example and try to change it - the catch 22 is that you belive that you can go the opposite way and pretend that you don't have it, yet as long as you have low self esteem, you can't. The problem is the solution which means that you just have to trancend the problem entirely and pursue real growth where you just don't give a fuck, and in order for that to happen - a part of you must die! You must go full circle! You must be okey with having low self esteem and when you're okey with it - you don't have low self esteem. @Parki

Okey so this is getting kind of spooky now. Time and time again I hear the message from the girls I've daited and other folks ( honestly mainly girls) that I should love myself and be fine with myself before getting into a relationship. The last time someone said this was 10 min ago and it was my ex long distance GF. It was honestly a piece of advise I didn't expect or wanted becuase it's scary and I can't wait to love myself, I mean come on. XDXD My main objections is A: How the fuck is that gonna happen? What if I never love myself and who the fuck does? And B: I want a gf and sex now now now I don't want to wait til I am fixed and love myself. That's scary. Idk fellow peeps. This was really fucking scary advise to get. It was as she saw me right through and In a way I think she is right. What do you guys say? Should you work on loving yourself before getting in a relationship or should you go for a relationship? I kinda feel like a relationship will cure my self love problems but it probably wont. Note: of course I want to work on self love no matter what but do I really have to wait for relationship? @Leo Gura @bejapuskas

Yeah for sure!! Will look into them all. Thank you! This was what i needed to hear. Thanks man!

I have tried 1: self compassion meditation for couple of months ( 5 I think) 2: Meditation for 1 and half year 3: Therapy multiple times. 4: implementing habits to better take care of myself ( putting limits to working and integrating play) 5: Being more vulnerable with other people and showing my emotions ( tried to show me without the mask) 6: Tried to integrate my anima ( feminine side) by applying conciousness to my reactions when reading things that girls have said/ written. 7: Told the truth to my long distance GF that I don't love her, and that just a part of me loved her because it wanted her love. @flowboy

@StarStruck Just have sex bro. I mean what's the point of to even date when you're on celibacy munk mode? Let it go. Sex is okey - you wot die. What's the scariest thing about having sex with this girl? What will hapoen if you have sex? Life is not all or nothing. You having sex one day will not fuck up your healing - in fact it might do the opposite.

@Gabith Yeah XDXD So what happens if you act? Are you detached then? A video that just popped in my head is Leo's fake growth VS real. If you're doing the opposite you litterly have to not care and pursue real growth - which is why faking detached in a way is the exact same thing you're already doing.

If I where you I would contemplate why it works. That's what I'm gonna do XDXD Why does telling a woman that you have a small dick and then being okey about it attract her? Think about that.

Yeah I know. It honestly is really tough to feel like you can't love yourself discouraging to feel like I can't accept myself, which is the thing I am trying to accept that I can't accept. It feels like a hoplesscyckle.