SamC

@SLuxy I leave you with this. Notice how your solution is your problem and that you don't want to give up your solution because you belive you have a problem. Your solution is doubling down on the thing that creates the anxiety which only makes it worse. Here is where you trick yourself. You want a real tangible solution that actually works, not a mind game where you get advise like " be one with god" " love yourself" ect cause that's almost like a fuck you to you and your problem and I agree with that, that won't help you either. What I want you to realize howver is that you won't find the solution by trying something else to solve it because if you try that you just go in circles and become neurotic about that. Your core statement is - " I need to do X to be worthy and have the right to exsist". That's what you are running away from and try to fix because if you don't... guess what, you belive you will be worthless. This furthermore means that if you stop seeking a solution, that will be really painful, scary and the real cognitive behavioral therapy - which is why you don't want to do it because you will litterly die. Your core concept will die. What I am saying is in other words what you initially didn't want to hear, that you need to go about this disfunction by how you relate to your problem. This does not mean that you should just try to be one with the universe or notice that you are just a thought or whatever. Fuck that, that's not really that helpful because you're not there yet. Instead, do what you feel like you need to and want to do but be AWARE of it. I don't know if you watched Leo's video awarness is curative? if not I suggest you to give it a go. If you feel like you want to continue focusing on work? Do it but do it consciously where you are aware that you're doing it because you're afraid. Pair this with meditation and parts work, see Teal swans book "The anatomy of lonliness" for that and your " problem" will fall off by itself. I now that this wasn't necessarily the " solution " you wanted to hear but I hope that you can see how this, as opposed to trying to fix the problem will reach the problem at it's core In sum, your best bet is to raise your conciousness so that it goes beyond your current ego by meditation, parts work and practicing doing what is right for you in that moment regardless if you're driven by fear or not. I wish you the best of luck man! If you have any questions, let me know!

@SLuxyCool, thanks for sharing man. It sounds though to walk around with thoughts like this, I understand that you have been through a lot of suffering bro. There is one thing I am wondering if you could help me understand though. Why wouldn't you want to have a need to be excellent if being excellent is the only way for you to have the right to exsist?

@SLuxySo if you allow me to try to help you with gaining awareness of this dynamic even more. What does being excellent mean to you?

@SLuxy Oh I see how you interpeted it. You interpeted as me telling you that you shouldn't try to overcome the need to it. That was not my point. My apologies. My hope with the post was to make you contemplate your motivation to that need so you could realize the root solution. It's good that you're trying to overcome this need but realize that the need to overcome it is what is fueling your need for excellence. It's almost like this thought loop. " I need to be excellent to be good enough ------- oh no I shouldn't be neurotic about it, I should be excellent ------ oh no I have the need to be excellent, I shouldn't have that - I should be excellent. You're fighting against yourself and are trying to solve the problem of not being needy by being needy for a solution. This only fuels your problem. ( because it's the same problem) You need to learn to accept to be needy and integrate that part of yourself and then tada, your problem will fall of like that... But in order to do that you must go to the root and the root is that you feel like you have to be any other way then you are. That's why you want to be excellent, that's why you don't want to need to be excellent. It's the opposite side of the same coin. That's why I asked, what's wrong with needing to be excellent becuase if you crack that nut, you have your solution. Ta-da

Yeah, but notice how you create an attatchment to not having an attatchment to exellence. You want to overcome the need, but whats wrong with needing it? What does you needing excellence tell you about yourself? What does it create? Really contemplate these 3 questions. From what you have told us, it almost seems like you're running away from the same thing that you run away from when you chase excellence. What do you think about that? @SLuxy

Notice how the need to let go of the desire to be excellent is an attempt to be excellent. What's wrong with being excellent? Ask yourself that. The answer might surprise you.

It might be that your mind is more dynamic and that you should try to work with it instead of against it. This video changed my life. It made me realize that there are multiple roads to success and that one should choose an approach based on one's personality and personal strengths.. not based on how it is expected. Also, if you're learning something new and you're not super gifted in it, you may experience it to be more taxing and may not be able to do it for such a long time in the beginning. I for example couldn't study math for more than 30 min at a time in the beginning, but as I learned more I could practice longer periods becuase it becomes more effortless and you get in the flow. Lastly.. Meditation. It helps a lot.

@flyingguitarist I am an INFP actually! Have you done the big five factor test? I think it would give you a lot of insight. If you for example score high on disagreeblesness that in itself gives you a pretty good indicator that you probably are a thinker and not a feeler type. I would personally love to see your score on the big five to see how that relates to your top 10 values so if you have that and are willing to, feel free to share!

Some context. Ralph Smart promotes anti vax conspiracy theorys and that the government puts chips in your body via vaccines. I was therefor surprised that Sadhguru decided to be interviewed by him, yet I at the same time get it. It's super counterintuitive and ingenious move. The interview itself is great but where the real lesson in epistemology comes in is in the comment section. It's hilarious, yet at the same time frightening to read how some people can get it so backwards.?

Bahahaahha

No. Sadhguru gave a hint that politicians are not evil monsters but that was about it.

Yeah, it's almost like their own stage orange shadow which is money and selfishness is projected outwards so they come to belive that other people want control, power and money when it instead is they themselves that want it but deny it. The anti vax hipsters is like a 180 degree reaction against what is not " meaningful" which to them Is the 3D world but then at the same time hold beliefs that everything that is meaningful is power, money ect.. cause that's what they are focused on. They think that it is them, the enlightened wokesterz who don't care about power VS shallow Sociey.. yet they are the one who focuses on what the ego wants. It's facinating!

@flyingguitarist I see, so you hoped that you by asking this question would gain insight about your personality type based on how people would analyze your cognitive functions by the information of your top strengths? And yeah, I agree - but notice how in the case of your strength it can be very easy to see that you definitely is introverted, intuitive and thinking and even judging. Is it super reliable, hell no! Especially not scientifically but it can give you some hints as to what you can look to investigate more in - sometimes! For fun, try it with my values. Can you guess my MBTI? 1: Truth 2: Self actualization 3: Understanding 4: Freedom 5: Conciousness 6: Self expression 7: Love 8: Excellence 9: Connection 10: Exploration

First of, thank you for sharing. You seem to have a lot of self awarness and insight. It's very inspiring to see. Secondly, What do you think about feminine men and masculine woman? I mean preform is equal to conform for you. What about those people that don't fit your own ideas about how one should be? Do you look up to those people or down on them?

Which personality type do you hate the most?@PepperBlossoms

Parts work is one of them I think. Also, stop trying to love yourself, try to understand yourself instead. Love is a consequence, not something you actively do.

If you cant stand other's personality, you can't stand your own. My guess is the different parts of yourself with different personalities fight and separate from eachother, which basically means that all your differnt parts hate eachother. It is a self hate from the different aspects of yourself that then is projected outwards.

Yeah of course lol. I wanted to see how bad or good my guesses could be based on just going with intuition. What is your personality type?

Well you gotta be I becuase of your strength of introspection and N because vision and art and shit, T becuase of courage and J becuase you have a strength in self control. ( but you could be P aswell so I'm not sure about the last one, you could also be a INTP. Pm me if I'm right or not@flyingguitarist

INTJ

I remember when he said something a long the line of " I have not the slightest interest in investigsting what the new UFO phenomenon is" That statement itself tells us that he is not a serious scientist. He is not interested in truth at all, all he wants to do is ego trip on his science and ideology. He should try comedy instead

I love the spiral dynamics topic. When you have something, throw the link up here. This sounds awsome.

I share direct insights that give people hope through wisdom.

My best advice is to introspect in the different parts of your psyche and how you can learn the parts to work together.

It's the love that you think denied you, but that you denied yourself - in yourself.