SamC

@Fearless_Bum Yeah but if you're a dried up leaf you're still from the same trees as everyone else. There is no " to love" - you are already it, connected to everything else. That is the highest love.? I honestly think that this is your core problem with socializing with people. You feel like an outcast, like you're not connected to them. The thing is even in your name. Sure you are fearless.. but still a bum in your mind. Your solution will be in uniting the different parts in your psyche and by doing that - unifying with the world.

@Fearless_Bum I think it's really cool that you're trying to grow man, keep going - youre awsome. One thing that crossed my mind however is a question.. Do you feel like a social outcast?

Reframe talking to people as a way to learn more about them, the world and yourself. You can learn from everyone and if you try to understand them, chances are they will like you and want to know more about you aswell.

I don't have any thoughts, just a question. How do you achieve this from your experience?@Jacob Morres

Yeah that was really @something_else XDXD Seriosly tho, thats super insipiring.

Be careful with trying to make your kid be in a certain way, even if it's out of love. You can talk to him and say, " This is what generally happens if you do X and Y, here are the reasons why people do X or Y. Now do whatever you want" Trying to control and manage people is many times counterproductive cause it end up backfiring. Trust your kid.

Wow, I get it now.. the better the modell the bigger the problem. Its when we view the stage as this or that we shoot ourselves in the foot. Its more nuanced then that.

I am really fascinated by Gary. He seems to have a lot of integrity in what he is doing and sometimes even show glimpses of yellow. His core principles are patience, hard work and now as of late curiosity. He also don't give a flying fuck about what other people think of him, while at the same time not being a psychopath and caring about " lousy fluffy ideals " like kindness. Look at this short video for example.. What's up with him, where does this relatively concious approach come from you think? Where do you peg him on SD? Also as a bonus for all the personality types geeks, what is his personality type?? Leo's thoughts would be really interesting aswell @Leo Gura

I went to the club and approached a ton of girls today but most of them took their friend and " ran" away or their friend took them away from me. What am I doing wrong? They obviosly are not comfortable with me but why do I make them feel that way. One theory is that my own insecurity gets projected to them eventough I don't see it myself or that I am out of sink with the environment.. meaning, I am "calm" when I approach and it freaks them out cause it's not the context.. like it becomes a bit formal and low energy when it's a high energy environment. It could also be becuase I am unsure what to say and that that projects or that what I say is weak/ boring. I struggle with knowing what to say for it to lead anything so that wouldn't be a suprise if that's the main reason.. Any other thoughts or theories are welcome. What do you say @Leo Gura why do the girls run away?

In Leo's critique of PUA Leo says that if you think you will develop deep confidence thourgh pick up you are tricking yourself. What is confusing about this is that he said that pick up primarily is a way to pursue deep personal development and becoming a strong man in the how to get laid series. What is true? Will pick up give you deep confidence and help you develop your masculinity or will it not. What's the distinction that I am missing? @Leo Gura

Thanks Leo! Mind expanding a bit more on why that is and how it differs? What will PUA not fix? @Leo Gura

Will do that but would love to hear Leo's thoughts aswell! How? Can you expand on this? Yeah I think so too. Maybe it won't solve your core issue but maybe it will autocorrect something and help you connect with woman somehow ( indirectly). Will watch, thanks!

Yeah makes sense but I still don't get why Leo says the opposite in his new how to get laid vids? Have you changed your mind or made a finer distinction? @Leo Gura

Yeah, that makes sense. Cool! How do you do that? Is it about getting into state thorugh approaches or are there other ways except drinking alcohol. Can I train myself to do this somehow? Will exposere to these situations in a way autocorrect it if I pair it with trying to get into state? @Leo Gura Makes sense! Thanks Leo.

@Leo Gura Hmm yeah interesting! What about when the girl you approach try to find her friend to get herself away from you? What is the reason behind that? Is the solution simply developing better verbal game? Also, last time I made a post about this you gave me the advice that you gotta physically escalate fast in the club. How does that go with being careful with to much physical game from the start? Can you help me make that fine distinction?

Wow, this was profound. Mind exapning pn this?@mememe

What Is the thing they don't understand about you/ the world?@EntheogenTruthSeeker

I think this approach of burning through karma needs to be accompanied with awarness. Awarness alone is curative - so fulfill your karmic desires - but do it CONSCIOUSLY.

Maybe it's you that is against yourself

@soos_mite_ah I think what your therapist is noticing is that you´re afraid of having these coping mechanisms because you believe they are a problem. My therapist said something similar to me in regards to my goals. I said that I was driven by fear, while he said I was driven by desire. I felt incredibly misunderstood and almost angry as to why he didn´t see that I was driven by fear. I later realized that the real mechanism of fear for me was the very act of wanting to avoid being driven by fear and that I tried to " let go of it".. but for what? because of fear. What has helped me is going towards what I want instead of trying to stop acting from fear. This has meant that I sometimes have let myself be driven by fear.. because It´s okay. Dare to trust in yourself. What do you want?

@Zeroguy Lol. You don't get it. Controlling people and needing people to be in a certain way backfires and creates a self fulfilling prophecy. I have nothing to do with this dynamic. If the girl is always like " where have you been?" " you don't really love me; you will leave me" " you think I am annoying" ----- it will become the reality. Lastly, your entire point of not letting be controlled is this whole mechanism. You don't want to get controlled - that's why you will avoid committing to these girls.. but her having this attachment is not something you can control. @Vzdoh If the girl is super attached she will "love" you so incredibly much and belive you will save her. She often tries to control who your friend group is, who you can hang out with or not and how much attention she should get. She can for example be extremly ubset if you forget to text her " in time" This has showed up in almost all of the girls that I have had a relationship with or have been close to have a relationship with. I attract broken super attached girls. I think there can be degrees to this.. but it's always repelling.. yet at the same time " toxic" attractive. It's a self destructive attraction becuase you feel so loved, but then at the same time so trapped. Side note: I don't know where this came from but your NEED of him being intimate with you makes him scared of being it with you.. so the more you try, the harder he will resist. Take what you want from this.

I've experienced that I am scared to commit because the girls become super attached to me ( reliet on me) and if it then don't work out for whatever reason there will be immense suffering for both. Her fear of me not committing to her becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because she tries to control me and then I end up not wanting to try at all, because I know that the consequences will be severe if I commit and then change my mind.

Maybe you are right This was awsome, Thanks a ton

Beating myself up for not being as spiritual as I want to be or in other words, accepting when my ego is taking over and being fine with it. That's really challenging.

I think this is a good sign that you should brake up with her.