Realms of Wonder

You covered a LOT of ground in this post haha. There's so much subjectivity to it, that's why I hesitated to even bring it up, because in the end, only I/we can decide what authentic is for our self. to me, authenticity is something beyond the forms I have taken, or the content of who I "think" I am, IS there even a rock bottom to it? intuition tells me this cant be understood by merely thinking about it. I don't know for certain Thanks for your response and perspective, this is a deeply fascinating topic to me, and the core of my life purpose work.

I used to be nearly completely motivated by approval from others, saying things and being in ways that got people to "like me" or cut off all my sharp corners so I was easy to tolerate. However through this work life has become more intrinsically motivated (values, purpose, and habits based in principles.) However, I'll betcha there is a lot I am unaware of, external forces that motivate me without knowing it. I LOVE that quote, thanks for sharing!

How do I increase my capacity to train? How do I increase my desire to train? Hi all, new to the forum, any honest, constructive feedback appreciated It's taken two years to really internalize that actual training is necessary to build a world class musical skillset. with those two (very important and foundational) years just creating, music, songs, sounds, lyrics. exploring, trying new things out. but now I realize... I want to deliberately practice, each specific facet of music production, so that my overall ability to create remarkable music increases, allowing this music to connect people with their authentic self. I am currently training 30 minutes a day, aside from song creation and playing around.

Damn. Interesting perspective, thanks for sharing.

How is it that simple?

That's difficult to swallow. the "not knowingness" is difficult, in my mind it goes "I am myself, shouldn't I know already how it feels like to be authentic?" I appreciate your perspective. any practical advice?

Maybe it does seem like a nonsensical question. But I asked it because I honestly DONT always know if I am being authentic. If you do then congrats. With the pain analogy, what if we were unconscious to our pain? For example, when we are drunk, or super stoned, or asleep? How would we know? it doesn't seem so simple.

Thanks for your input. Perhaps I should have added, authentic HIGHEST self. Those pleasures are not what I am talking about. That's simply giving into the "Emotional Weasel" to quote Leo.

What exactly do you mean by " Lap Dog?" IMO there is more than two options

Delighting peoples taste buds to earn 'dat sweet sweet moolah

Good Questions. This last summer, after working a job across the country, I travelled alone, without a car, for two and a half weeks across the east coast. I was surprised how difficult it was mentally, but here is what I got from it. 1. it can forces you to face yourself in unknown situations: I remember multiple times, having to problem solve on the fly, trying to get from one place to another, or what to do when my phone almost died and I needed it to know where to go. 2. Showed me how capable and resourceful I can be: mentally it was challenging, I didn't have much to ground myself in, I HAD to be resourceful to make it through, there was no one to lean on but myself. 3. Exposure to different perspectives, ideologies, places, and people: a distinct memory is being in Washington DC, seeing all the monuments, and watching these "Model Americans" so proud to these monuments and so excited, taking pictures in front of the white house and playing music talking about the greatness of America. I thought it was so STUPID. I get that America is a pretty good place to live, certainly better than some, and I am lucky to live here, but the blind worshiping of these symbols left me with an uneasy feeling. It was especially interesting to watch MY reactions to THEIR behavior, to see my thoughts and emotions as I observed the monuments and places. Definitely recommend, doing it alone allows for less external distraction, allowing oneself to be explored in a more unhindered way

@Sucuk Ekmek Just watched it last night. Holy shit. What a movie! Thank you for the recommendation.

@KingCrimson Thank you for making the time to write out such a reply. Here is the context: My life purpose as it stands, is to.. "Create beautiful music that connects people to their authentic self." I am, and want to be, an independent artist, releasing and performing my own music, informed by the divine, infusing wisdom and perspective built through life experience, contemplation, meditation and so on. 10 years from now I see myself touring, as a solo artist or with musicians I hire, almost like a ministry of authenticity, radiating love into the audience, giving people a vision of what their self is, AND leading them to actually EXPERIENCING WHO AND WHAT THEY ARE. To play my part in evolving humanity. I am drawn to electronic music, pop, and indie, think Enya meets Tame Impala meets Coldplay. Another reason I want to master the basics, is so I can transcend them, creating truly unique and innovative sounds and melodies no human has ever heard before. I grew up taking lessons and practicing classical, fiddle, and Celtic violin, I took weekly lessons and practiced 45-90 minutes a day from ages 5-14, in highschool was concertmaster of the school orchestra and in band for two years (I was homeschool up until 11th grade.) Post highschool I completely ditched music, with lots of resentment, feeling I had been forced into it by my parents. Until two years later when---after working my way through the Life Purpose course---during a 4-ACO-DMT trip, it hit me out of the blue. "MUSIC! of course! its been staring me in the face my whole life!" Since then it has been a slow process of building basic habits in my life, and retaking the course, getting sidetracked, falling off course, coming back... over and over haha. (I was still a complete newbie at this point.) Until right before Covid hit, I told myself "I cant have a life purpose in music unless I am actually creating music." So I started producing music in Ableton. During that year I invested 800 hours in just learning HOW to use Ableton, create sounds, and so on, not deliberate practice, more focusing on getting music back into my life. I continued on, starting to release music on SoundCloud, then Spotify, even building an audience on Instagram. BUT... I started seeing that to make the best music possible, I need to go away and practice the fundamentals of the craft for a few years, then come back and share this new (more valuable) skillset with the world. And that is where I am now. the practice I am doing is Synth practice, researching, but mostly intentionally learning HOW to create sounds with a synthesizer, pads, leads, percussion, strings, etc.. daily, most of it is crap, but that's normal. Here is a list of skills I have define as important for me to actualize my life purpose. (there may be more, but these are the core) - Melody - Music theory (need a solid refresher) - Synths (be able to create any sound needed) - Song structure (What is the most addicting song structure possible?) - Piano/keys (to a level where I can express without hinderance) - Singing - Mixing - Mastering - Song writing/storytelling - recording - Music industry understanding I am in agreement with what you said about the amount of work necessary to become truly world class, in his book "So Good They Can't Ignore You" Cal Newport really stresses the difference between "Playing" and "Deliberate practice." I have been playing for years, now its time to PRACTICE. The amount of work ahead is difficult for me to stomach, but thanks for putting it so starkly. how do I work from 30 minutes a day, to 3-4? (I work full time so any more than that and the rest of my life wouldn't function.) Taking lessons is something I have been avoiding, because I know you're right, I really need guidance to grow in some of these skills, someone much more experience then I am, who socializes in that skill/domain.\ Thank you

Fascinating, thank you for documenting and sharing your journey

@Tboy Howdy! One way of looking at this can be as such. Your music, can be centered around timeless principles and wisdom of reality, your personal perspective on it. to create groundbreaking music means digging where others haven't, or where others have given up, but what you dig up is your life purpose, not you. if you are 80, and still creating music that is based in truth, there will always be an audience for it. I keep stumbling on songs from the 70'sto early 2000's and because of the content of the song, I resonate with it. Not sure if this helps, good luck!