Realms of Wonder

Listening to an interview with Estas Tonne, a Musician, and guitarist, and he said this which caused me to really pause. What is your perspective on that?

Taking a walk in a nearby park, reading a book, contemplating, and I realized, nearly exactly a year ago, I was here, but it seems like a different life. 6/5/2021: A picture from this day. I was in an off and on relationship with a beautiful girl, physically attractive, mentally we were not compatible, we were in the park together, walking, talking, and laughing. I had just quit my job, and gotten hired for a camp counselor position in Pennsylvania (I Live in Oregon.) The next day I was leaving for Pennsylvania, I knew this would be my last time in Portland for a few months. I had some clarity into my life purpose, I knew it involved music, but I was distracted. I was letting this girl distract me, letting my phone distract me, YouTube, friends, taking my eye off the ball. I was secretly unhappy, and knew I wasn't really changing, instead I was distracting myself by any means necessary. During that time, I was meditating every day, playing music every day, reading off and on, cooking my own food, but reliant on distraction to keep me sane. 5/17/22: A picture from yesterday, same place I am single, not dating, having removed so much from my life I am not so sure what's real any more. I contemplate more and more, about myself, about life, wanting to understand, but not getting it yet. Two and a half months ago, I quit both social media and YouTube (including Leo's video's .) Because I listened to my intuition, it is/was time to go within, to question and create, to deepen my relationship with myself, to understand things independently, to look to myself for the answers, not others, and to meet my basic needs in healthy ways. Walking through the park, there was joy there, but a feeling of semi-sadness permeated my body, melancholy, especially in my chest, that feeling has been there consistently for two months now, I attribute it to the loss of the parts of myself that are falling away. Who I am is always changing more and more, forever and ever. The sadness comes as a dull pain, of loss, habits I had, no longer get to be a part of me, behaviors and thoughts have no place in me, my focus goes towards understanding myself and life, my Purpose, and Music, not to the latest trends on social media. The social safety blanket is gone, what is left is reality, for me to explore and discover. Instead of distractions to keep me sane, I feel that I am going insane, my thinking is changing, more independent and authentic. This is, MY authentic path. Thank you for reading

To be True to my self, trust my inner guidance, and be Truthful.

Lyrics from a song God is sharing with me. Who will I be When I wake up from my dream And what would I see When I see through the illusion of mind Who will I be when I see through The mirage of my mind Someday I'll find Something true Something real I hope to find Who I really am What I Really love Why I have this mind What's beyond its time See this whole life through the eyes of one who knows What will be left When all the lies are stripped away Soon there will be a moment when I see through all the lies Recognize the Truth About this life About myself Someday I'll know. Who I really am What I really love Why I have my mind What's beyond its time.

5 years ago, I dropped out of college, clueless as to what life had to offer, lost and afraid, purposeless and depressed, hopeless and lost. Today so many pieces finally clicked, the 100+ psychedelic trips, the hundreds of hours of meditation, the solitude, the journaling, the fear, uncertainty, and difficulty. It is a journey of Life Purpose, that is the stage I am in, and I finally "Got it," To Play Music, Showing people how to heal their Reality. I am sure it will develop and change in the coming years and decades. But HOLY SHIT THIS FEELS REAL. I am so grateful I did not quit before today.

Im 24, and 2-3 years into the skill building of a music career. Currently getting the the middle of the ‘starting’ phase. do I continue to focus all my effort on building my life and Life Purpose? Or do I also add in dating during this time? My gut says no, that can come later, for now, focus on my career and building my freedom through the impact of Music. So that’s what I’ve been doing for the last year, but I am open to other possibilities. What is your perspective on this?

Groove: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/73lMEFrvdt8XVZuteSiqoC?si=90a760a35d124ae6 Focus: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DVGUzAzjOx8iAyEKVBblH?si=322c708465ea4c1f Feel/Emotion: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Wgmm79BpMQ4vcAN1QsOxF?si=6c69273b9aae4110 Emulate: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2q82ZegkdFWRBHPM1ne0Ia?si=55108844c415426f Made you Think: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yBZhCE87LQrKPmMNfvVyT?si=7dd475a26ce1431a

Thanks for this perspective, you’re spot on about my conditioning about relationships, much more rigid and confining than necessary

Music for Psychedelic Therapy. Thought not the core of why I make music, I am aware that the music I create will be used by some in psychedelic settings. And that will deepen the music’s effect on the listener Also Ketamine Clinics psychedelic psychotherapy Plus so many more. This would be a good question to feed to the Google algorithm

Hello fellow INFJ, don’t see many of you around ❤️

Thanks for sharing this, I also remember Leo in an older video, maybe even his interview with Martin Ball, how after his 5-MEO breakthrough, mushrooms were much more potent than before.

Interesting! I’ll check it out. Thank you

10 years... I hear it long before I see it, the throbbing pulsating crowd. I can feel it in my chest, butterflies sparkling through my body as nervousness turns to excitement. My armpits tickle.. Something profound is about to happen. I start to rise, up, up, up, my head is seen, then my body, then all of me is above the stage the audience goes wild. I am who they came for, well, they didn't come for me, they came for... MUSIC. Erupts, as the tone and groove permeates the air, My conscious intent pierces the crowd as they are already engaged and its just the first song. unfiltered and already in flow, I sing, songs of heart, of authenticity, of struggle, trauma, beauty and sadness, Life Music, that brings the audience to their knees. It's a mystical experience unfolding as I radiate love into the stadium. 10,000+ people, each experiencing something unique, some processing trauma, others experiencing waves of Love, others weeping, they feel inspired to live more authentically. Tears stream down faces as the music continues, 30 minutes, 60 minutes, 90 minutes, more and more beautiful sounds, songs that sound too beautiful to be real, tones and sounds that have never been heard by these humans before. These are not "Human sounds" these are the articulations and phrases of the Divine. This is God, as Music, Love disguised as sound. From the stage, I am in it, fully, engaged, relaxed, energetic, I FEEL alive, I FEEL Music, as she and I dance together sonically. I stop singing, the music continues, my music, I designed it, and this crowd is LOVING IT, they watch me as I look around, with tears streaming down my face, This is real, This is my life, this is my dream. I look stage left into the crowd, there's my mom and dad, they see me, a vessel of consciousness, impacting the world authentically. They are in awe, and they are blown away. and so am I , the words I sing cannot describe how I feel. Two hours in, I am done, I sang every word I had to sing, I gave every emotion and bit of love I had to give, the crowd is moved, in a way they have never been impacted before, some of them know in their hearts, this was their moment where everything changed, their breakthrough. After the show, I am doing a meet and greet, and a line forms, 10, 20, 30, 50, 100, 100's of people line up, one by one they tell me their story, how this Music changed their life, how to showed them how to be more authentic, how it showed them the trauma they had forgotten that held them back, the hope they feel when listening, and how it permanently changed their life They weep in my arms as we hug, they dont even have words, but I know. they thank me because I impacted them in a way no one else could. late into the night people share their stories, I am so fulfilled, so full, so radiant, so giving. I am living the dream. That is one part, of one day, 10 years from now.

Recently used 700g MHRB, doing three pulls, creating 4.5 g of DMT. Using Tek #2 from this. https://wiki.dmt-nexus.me/Q21Q21's_Vinegar/Lime_A/B_Extraction_Tek

One thing that has helped, is lessening the consumption/dependence of external information, from culture via social media and YouTube. but then you run the risk of having nothing outside of yourself to ground yourself in. Which has its own challenges.

When I dropped out of college it was without a plan or an alternative. I just knew continuing to go along with the herd at college was was inauthentic. in retrospect, 5 years later, it was for Music, Life Purpose, Self Love, and the beginning of a Hero’s Journey.

@Someone hereMake a Poll asking WHY people masturbate. I think that has a lot to do with how we feel afterwards. Could be wrong, just an idea.

Music has my heart. Music calls to me, it is my chosen distraction, but I still doubt whether it is the path. "Maybe there is a better path out there for me." My mind says quietly. And maybe there is. But Music is my heart, and music is my chosen form of Love.

Hey Brother, Thank you for being so vulnerable, it shows strength. I've been where you are in my own way. At 19 I was in college, and going through very similar things. I was smoking weed to escape, eating shit food to escape, hated myself, didn't understand what I wanted, I thought life was hopeless and that there was no point to keep on going. I knew I was on the wrong path (going to college) but didn't have an alternative. I was so unaware that I did not understand any concepts/principles such as, Self-Love, Self-Understanding, Life-Purpose, Mastery, and so on. basically. I was Fucked, and I believed that state was permanent. You at least recognize at this time that you are where you are, and that you dont want to stay there forever. That's huge. My dad likes to say "its just as valuable to know what you dont want, as it is to know what you want." you're figuring it out. Also, you are 23, dont be so hard on yourself, most early 20's individuals have NO CLUE. what they want in life, or how to live an extraordinary life. being hard on yourself wont help. Accept that you are where you are, its the only way to start moving in another direction.(For example, imagine where you are now in life is an actual place like on a map, you want to get from where you are to... Los Angeles California lets say. if you dont accept that you are in the rocky mountains, and start your journey from there, you'll never be able to find your way to LA.) Here is my advice, just my perspective so take it with a grain of healthy skepticism. 1. If you have the means, take a solo retreat. 6-10 days alone, no electronics, the healthiest food you can stomach. it will be one of the hardest things you've ever done, but the amount of growth, self understanding and consciousness you will gain will be Radical, and life changing. this time, if taken, will radically change the trajectory of your life, you will change, your mind will change. disconnecting from distractions (phone, YouTube, tv, movies, eating junk food, and so on) will allow you to go within yourself and face yourself, face your inner demons, but also be with your inner "light" your authentic self. This is a more advance version of the same thing. https://actualized.org/articles/leos-solo-meditation-retreat but for you, bring along a notepad and pen, sit and think, do as close to nothing as possible, get bored. watch what happens after the first 2-3 days. its miraculous. 2. Watching this video will give you an idea of how to get started with this path. https://actualized.org/articles/how-to-get-started-with-self-actualization Its not easy, but it is SO worth it. 3. Break toxic habits, and implement positive ones, ONE AT A TIME. dont fall into the trap of trying to change TOO much TOO fast. It doesn't work in the long run. SLOW and SUSTAINABLE. - An example of this would be to clean up your diet as much as you can stomach, that you know you can sustainably keep up, and add in a meditation habit, 5 minutes a day to start, and work your way up. Strength to you on your journey, the path ahead is filled with your fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, and suffering. BUT. You are strong enough to overcome, and that path will also bring the greatest joys, the greats Love, and more than you can possibly imagine. Love.

What do you think?

You may not like this opinion. Over the last few years I’ve completely broken my addiction to porn and papping, building streaks of 90-180 days. And like you, felt like shit after masturbation, guilt, disappointment, and so on. recently, after some perspective from people on the forum, I decided to intentional break a streak with mindful masturbation. Using it to process the shame I feel around my sexuality. And holy shit, it’s hard to do that. Not only was it a emotional release of repressed sexuality, but my cravings to masturbate have decreased a ton after my sessions. When I think of masturbation it’s not super attractive, and if I am horny, without a partner, there’s no shame if I let loose, as long as it’s conscious and not an escape, plus I felt absolutely no shame afterwards, I used it to fully accept myself. Masturbation is not binary. It can be used for love, escapism, pleasure, and a ton of other things in between.

1. To play my part to evolve humanity by Playing/Performing Music that guides and encourages the mind to face the Truth 2. Perform in front of 10,000 people. 3. Absolute Self-Love. To accept myself Wholly, Completely. 4. To die knowing I lived an authentic life. And more, those are some of the top.

Standing in line at a coffeeshop, I noticed a cute brunette in front of me that had eyed me as I walked up, so I asked what she was getting and we talked for a few moments. after we got our coffees, she walked up and asked if I knew of any other great coffee shops, with a smile I responded telling her about an Awesome one my sister and I like to go to for early morning talks. We talked longer, she lives in Canada, visiting with her friends who are also nurses. We laughed and really connected. Growing up “liking girls” or talk to girls, was considered taboo, and wrong, so I built up this story in my head that girls are not fun to talk to or good for me to be around. But.. experience tells me differently it was a short interaction, and I chose not to ask for her number, cuz she lives in Canada, and I’m focused on my music right now, but it was really enjoyable to make such deep eye contact, and be connected to the pleasure of emotion in the conversation.

Thank you!

What is your perspective on dating while building life purpose? I am still in the "rocky" period, 2-3 years in, building skills and a deep understanding of how to play Music.