shallotsometimes

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Everything posted by shallotsometimes

  1. True. Part of me is convinced I will wind up completely alone if I let myself be fully seen but would I want people around who love an image and not me anyway? It's too painful to not be myself at this point. There are too many downsides.
  2. This genuinely made me feel better, thank you. I feel kind of shitty right now and I'm always anxious and embarrassed after venting or sharing anything that makes me not look how I "should" ie composed and thoughtful. Or for sharing an opinion when I don't know how anyone else is going to feel about it. I have to continuously remind myself how ridiculous it is to try to maintain a false image and control what people think of me. It's better to air out some ugliness and messiness than to stay fearful and avoidant to keep up a version of myself that only exists in my head.
  3. Agreed I think what you did was pretty mature. You told him how you felt without being mean. That's better than ditching him or finishing the date but ghosting him later.
  4. Those Mormon Podcast episodes are wild and officially turned me off to Teal. I've watched a lot of her content, but always found her claim about being in a satanic cult difficult to believe. I don't doubt she has suffered from abuse, but the cult details seem far-fetched on top of all the psychic abilities she claims to have. That, the documentary drama that's going on, the fact she proliferates conspiracy theories, has already been married multiple times + all the rest of her interpersonal drama... It's too much. I'm turned off.
  5. She might not want to reject you, but still wants to be friendly/friends with you. She might not want to make seeing you at work awkward. I don't think she is trying to lead you on, girls often feel bad for rejecting guys romantically and just saying no. But women need to learn to be more straight forward. We give too many mixed signals for fear of hurting men's feelings, wondering if we should give him a chance etc. I agree with Leo that making solid plans in person would be a good idea so there is none of this fickleness. *Edited because I misread
  6. I'm not a fan of his either. His videos are always recommended to me since he's featured on so many different channels. To be fair I haven't watched all his lectures, and sometimes he says stuff I agree with. But the way he talks about women annoys me. He talks about us like we're all deliberately out to manipulate men. He seems like someone who doesn't like women and carries a lot of past baggage. Like why was he so pissy throwing Twitter tantrums over a plus sized model being on the cover of a magazine -- as if thicker women weren't at one time the epitome of beauty? And claiming that women only cry in arguments to manipulate men, not out of real hurt?? (Fyi anger is a secondary response to feeling hurt.) Idk he's weird, his energy is off and I don't like that so many young men look up to him.
  7. Badger Shaving Soap Bar is an alternative to shaving cream. It's made with natural ingredients. I'm not a guy so I don't use it on my face but it works well. I also have sensitive skin.
  8. I've been vegetarian (and ~85% vegan) since spring 2018. I do it mostly for the animals and environmental reasons and it's enough to keep me away from it. The thought of putting an animal through suffering and killing it so I can enjoy its taste for 5 minutes just doesn't sit right, especially since most of us have tons of alternatives and it's not necessary for survival. I was actually shocked at how easy it was to quit eating meat because there's so much fear mongering around it, I was scared I would get ill or just have crazy intense "meat cravings," neither of which happened. I also initially had lots dreams about eating it and feeling guilty which kept me on track. Dairy on the other hand has been difficult because it's in so much food, and food is such a social thing so I personally allow myself to have a little of it here and there. But if you want to go fully vegan I fully support that Taking baby steps in that direction is good too. Do you eat legumes? I find that to be a good meat replacement.
  9. Yes work comes with stress but when it's all day that seems unhealthy... A little bit of stress can actually be exciting, but too much can leave you depleted and burnt out. I worked in retail for a short time, and I have no idea how the girls working there full-time handled it (especially around Christmas!) That job was much more stressful than working in an office and I got paid half as much. (Part of it was retail had a lot more external stimulation so it was very draining in that way as well. Even though I still had deadlines in an office and had to rush to get things done.) I agree more with @sholomar. We aren't wired to be stressed & anxious 24/7. I think a big sign though is if you dread going to work in the morning
  10. @PurpleTree Yes, there is absolutely no need for factory farming. At the same time, we would not be able to feed meat to all the meat-eaters on the planet if animals were all raised on pastures. Takes up too much land. We're also overfishing our oceans which is screwing with the entire ecosystem. And I think everyone knows how terrible beef is for the environment with all of the methane released and water used up... Stop eating beef at least please yall. Also, have you guys heard of pig shit lagoons? Fucking gross. Pigs poop 8-10x more than humans on a daily basis. And of course these lagoons are negatively affecting POC communities.
  11. This! Attraction is being drawn to the traits the other person has that you believe you lack in yourself. Once you realize this it really helps calm the attraction and you don't see them quite as this magical unicorn of a person. You expressed that you're envious of her so that's a BIG hint towards what you actually want. Work on developing/bringing those traits closer. Agree.
  12. @ajai Yeah, I don't believe it's all luck either, like they already said. I don't know why we start off with the lives we do (karma? Our soul chose certain challenges? Idk!) but some people definitely have it harder or it's more of a turbulent experience. Meanwhile, someone else might find a compatible long-term partner easily but find financial abundance difficult. It's like any other category of life. You can definitely bring it into your life through action and changing your belief systems.
  13. It could be a Law of Attraction thing. Whatever subconscious beliefs you have will show up in your external world. For example if deep deep down you feel undeserving of a partner who loves you and treats you well, they won't show up. Or you will attract the "wrong" partner that reflects childhood wounds. Like being in an abusive relationship seems impossible and unacceptable to me, but women who were abused as children may feel like that's what they subconsciously deserve. It's familiar to them. So if they are unaware of that wounding, they may attract or be attracted to abusive/manipulative men. In my life, I lowkey feel invisible/not good enough for the men I'm actually interested in and wind up acting in ways that reinforce that. I had a pretty happy upbringing on the surface but there was trauma early on that made me feel invisible and like I didn't matter. Sometimes it's seemingly small things that stay stuck with us. As children we're just emotional sponges. Meanwhile, I have friends who start dating the first Tinder guy they go on a date with. They could be settling or be genuinely happy, I wouldn't know. But they seem to be happy, even if their relationships aren't 100% perfect. So maybe you have to be completely ready to receive a life partner by fully accepting yourself, flaws and all. Then it will reflect in your outer world and you'll find someone else who accepts you fully. It works with the idea that we create our own realities.
  14. @RoerAmit You can do both. Personal development is just a tool to help you do what you truly want to do and do it well. And you don't have to fix yourself/make yourself perfect before you can become a full-time musician. A lot of musicians are complete messes so it's obviously not required:p
  15. I like this idea. Keep it up, lovely work!
  16. @soos_mite_ah Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. I busted my ass in school but then I hit a wall and everything fell apart. I had anxiety attacks and wasn't sleeping or eating properly, but I still put school above everything else. Eventually I dropped out because my body was screaming at me to take some time for myself and I could no longer get out of bed. Then the pendulum swung to the other side and didn't want to do anything stressful, just rest and contemplate and read books and study spirituality and psychology (I wanted to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me and was terrified of going through another breakdown). I think the answer lies in the middle somewhere, which honestly sounds like what you did? If you want more success there are ways to work on that now, no? Also maybe those other people who seem more successful will hit a wall, who knows. If you feel like you're missing out on life then engage with life more and do less contemplation and self-inquiry. Just be cautious of pushing yourself too hard or doing things that in your heart you don't want to. A lot of people push through that and realize later that they're miserable or living inauthentic lives. You have to know yourself.
  17. I agree that Teal Swan's videos can help with depression a lot. I guess it depends on what kind of approach you want to take, cuz her videos can get pretty "woo-woo" but if you have an open mind it can really help you. She has a video titled "How to Cure Apathy" which reaaaally helped me figure out why I was having these feelings, that they're there for a reason, and how to overcome them. I watched it several times and cried and took notes and hung them on my wall. I found it more helpful than the video she specifically made on depression.
  18. Hello! There are a lot of online classes you can take while still interacting and getting feedback from an instructor. Schoolism is a good option if you're interested in animation or more commercial art. It's cheaper if you just buy the videos/subscribe vs participating in a class. They also have a lot of free lessons & talks on YouTube. I know Art Center is offering classes to people who aren't enrolled or looking for a degree (ACX). With the COVID restrictions they're all online. Although I'm not sure if you'll have to submit a portfolio for that or if that's only required for the more advanced classes. If you post your work on instagram I'm sure you could find or form a community of artists who comment on each other's stuff. That will also help keep you motivated and aiming towards improvement. Personally, working in retail helped with my shyness more than going to art school lol, but you will find more inspiring people through school. Of course I would also recommend getting books on the topics you're interested in. This book is great for anatomy. Look around for some on perspective, storytelling, color theory, etc! Hope this helps!