Cubbage

I've been complimenting my sobriety with cannabis (one mild dose of sativa during the day and of indica at night) and I've found it has been very beneficial for my consciousness. I used to abuse weed so now I know not to and have learnt how to healthily interface with THC. I use a vape, lasts me ages cause I use it so sparingly. It has made me much more creative, in some sense it feels like a nootropic.

I did it. Speechless. There are no words. Cliche, but ultimately true for the feeling of what awakening is like. The epitome of ineffable. This was the ultimate shift from destructive nihilism towards positive nihilism that I needed in my life right now as well. My ketamine addiction completely clouded my mind for many years and my mind would spin delusions as Truth and couldn't let go of the "ketamine consciousness" if you will. My DMT trip just now recontexctualized my whole life and tapped into the mind of God in a way I have never experienced before. I know it goes unfathomably deeper than I can ever fathom, but this was the first of many awakenings in the future and it was finally refreshing to have helped me now make sense of all of my past trips albeit without the chaos. I had fallen back into my ego for many years since I took a break from my healthy psychedelic practice around 2022. This was after my 90mg 4-aco-dmt experience (do not recommend a dose this high at all tbh I actually overdosed it accidentally) my whole life changed for better and worse and I was in a perpetual state of endlessly fluctuating states of euphoria and dysphoria in my mind. Eventually after enduring this chaotic mindset every day and other events in life unfolding for me, I got addicted to ketamine and it ruled my life for years up until October 2025 when I went to Japan for 3 months and embarked on various wellness retreats and to spark magic back into my life. This ultimately ended up helping me recover from ket addiction and has not only been amazing for myself it's now allowed me to have a second life purpose for helping addicts alongside guiding others towards awakening. This trip unlocked a part of me that had been slowly bursting out of me my whole life. I'd like to thank DMT firstly but and even bigger thanks to @Leo Gura for sowing the seeds towards my awakening. I love You. 👁

Thanks for all the great replies. Love this community!

@Leo Gura One insight that struck me the deepest was the full realization of myself as God being an infinite shapeshifter. This always made sense to me as a child and it was especially profound having that come full circle both experientially and mentally.

@LoneWonderer Much love man yeah gonna take a while to really integrate my experience and make sure I convey it as best I can

@Leo Gura I'd be straight on this opportunity if I lived in the US. Will definitely keep my eyes peeled for a future European retreat. Hope all goes well, brilliant idea! I think there will be a super positive outcome.

Thoughts on this? @Leo Gura I must say, this is a brilliant film that I found through you. I remember seeing the iconic intro on YouTube back in the day, but had never seen the full thing until becoming inspired to watch it because of the episode (I forget which one) of yours where you mentioned it being your favourite movie in relation to the topic (I imagine it was the stage Red or orange spiral dynamics video considering the subject matter). Personally I think there's a lot of potential for it to be a great film. There's tons of modern day socio-political framework to build off of for a sequel that tackles and expands upon the themes of the original. https://deadline.com/2026/04/nicolas-cage-bill-skarsgard-lords-of-war-vertical-1236786412/

@Leo Gura Yeah fully agreed, there isn't any need for a sequel when the first is so tightly woven. I imagine it will be good but there is no room for surpassing the original. I haven't seen it in a while, definitely due a rewatch. I quite like Gattaca as well, which is a sci-fi film by the same director. He's underrated.

I dated a semi-awakened OF girl for a while 😬

@Leo Gura I've watched a few episodes and it didn't really grab me. There's none of the Gilligan-style humour and vibes that made Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul so engaging. It's a shame, the concept is pretty interesting, but there's not enough "character" to the show to keep me watching.

Visually similar as well. Reading anything Morrowind related depresses me cause I know we're never going to get a game world so deeply realized like this in our lifetime's. There is room for another genius like Kirkbride to infiltrate game development/writing, but I'm not holding out on them ever appearing within my lifespan. Vivec | Elder Scrolls | Fandom https://share.google/BZSLfBem6fz2sU3gi

The recent "power of consciousness" post has encapsulated the ultimate insight I've ever had in my life, contemplatively and via psychedelics. It is so radically obvious what I AM doing to create THIS. The blog is on fire at the minute, really juicy food for thought and has been inspiring me to go deeper within myself and explore psychedelics more after taking a few years off of them to focus on other areas of my life. I look forward to embarking further in my understanding of consciousness and aligning this with my life purpose. Cheers mate and I'm looking forward to eventually having you on Vivec one day, it is a collaboration destined to happen. @Leo Gura

@Leo Gura Awesome, I'll be in touch.

@Leo Gura Please consider coming on my podcast: The Trip Sitters. I would love to have an open discussion of awakening/God/infinity and psychedelics with you and my audience would also be very enthusiastic for a talk between us since we both are deeply ingrained within the psychonautic online space. Discord members and Vivec followers in general are very serious about the very deepest levels of this work. I am not the most academically minded person, but I can 100% facilitate a metaphysical and transrational discussion between us. Let me know mate.

Shoutout to @Leo Gura for the appraisal of 6 Underground, one of my absolute favourite tripping tunes. Trip-Hop in general is one of my go to genres for deep contemplation whilst tripping!

I'm not a professional but I would love to do an audiobook reading of the book lol

Brilliant take. I replayed it this year and was struck by how rich in atmosphere that game is. I prefer the "lore" of DS1 but there is an existential layer to the themes explored in 2 that really resonated with me. The rejection/fear of death is a concurrent theme in the series but 2's depiction of this is the most nuanced and interesting. Powerful piece of art. Not quite the best from the gameplay perspective but still solid

Developing skills/finding hobbies & dating

@Leo Gura I saw that the other day when I went to re-watch it. Shockingly bad, the original was great!

If you play with feathers, you'll get your arse tickled

I met Mads at Tokyo Comic Con he is an awesome down to earth, humble guy and super insightful. Brilliant actor.

Seen it 3 or 4 times gets better each time. So much to chew on it is deliciously well made and super profound.

https://youtu.be/kQUPdVxZNPk?si=0LMFMOqYY03Y3QLb

https://youtu.be/osYpGSz_0i4?si=T5UhroKvzpaRyfC2

@Leo Gura I'm travelling Japan for a few months and the conformist behaviour here is off the charts it's actually fascinating to see how attached most of the population is to stage blue but equally as interesting to meet more individually minded Japanese people who "conform" to the American stage orange type of mindset.