Cubbage

Dibs on the audiobook narration 😉 🥸

Yikes 😬

Yeah. Pretty mad. Makes a lot of sense. I never felt like I had a sense of self. This has been hell for most of my life but awakening made me realise I already had a foot in the door for pursuing spirituality. I am at peace (relatively). What are your guys thoughts on DID and awakening? On top of all the other disorders relationship with this stuff. 🍻

I saw that haha it subconsciously lead me down the path towards watching that film last night and having an existential shock

My pleasure mate!

I'll check em all out cheers 🥸

Oh I forgot to mention I do have one very distinct personality that has mostly softened called Jimmy (my mates call him that) who is almost like the hedonistic, animalistic version of my baseline ego. He's verbose, vulgar and as equally as annoying as he is entertaining (from what I've been told, it's not fun actually being Jimmy). Jimmy has caused most of the problems in my life. Ironically, Jimmy is ME, I just hadn't integrated him. Now we're sort of at peace and I am no longer addicted to drugs (experientially, in my mind I feel like I am on drugs all the time and pursue sober activities that produce the feeling of drugs like rock climbing, playing music, writing, voice acting etc.) I am fairly certain that if I didn't actually discover psychedelics, this work and meditation I would have ended up as a criminal, homeless or worse.

Thought people might enjoy this! https://youtu.be/N0v5qbVdULQ?is=ZPvGquRpgaWsFgcw

I always related to this a lot as a kid:

Funnily enough I started watching Split last night and it was scarily close to home haha I've not seen the other one's.

We'd love to do it. I'm going to visit him in person and do a talk someday.

Infinity 🤓 jk, at this point in my life I have mostly stabilised into an amalgamation of all of them, but some days I slip into that of something different without even knowing it. There is a manic identity that sometimes emerges "randomly" (I don't think it is random but experientially it feels like that) but I have learnt to control/alleviate that through meditation. The other week I slipped into some strange identity that resulted in me walking through the forest naked in the middle of the night because it felt like what I had to be doing in the moment (something "normal" me would never do). This was all done consciously and I didn't disturb anyone. I have thankfully tapped into how to alleviate my DID by healthily channelling my various other identities that emerge, rather than suppressing them. Suppressing them is what has caused the bulk of of my suffering in life.

Really appreciated your latest blog post @Leo Gura it was especially illuminating to further understand my condition ✌️

Nibbas tryna gaslight me into not thinking I'm God n shiet 😔

Me too! Medical buds have been a lifesaver for me. I was addicted to ketamine (makes sense considering the dissociative angle) for a long time until medical ganja allowed me to tap into a lot of my psychological problems and also allow my body to relax. Glad they work for you mate 🍻

Regarding psychedelics, I'd agree that extreme neurodivergents like myself and schizophrenic types should be especially careful with psychedelics, but if you can wisely and healthily interface with them, they are genuinely the best way to understand your condition. My friend xoradmagical is a schizophrenic content creator and he has a plethora of psychedelic experience which helped him be at peace with his hallucinations.

Interesting! How would you describe the people you meet with DID, like what sort of behaviour do you observe/intuit? I'm more interested in awakening-coded people's opinions on the condition than regular society haha normies aren't very helpful. I haven't pursued treatment because my whole life has been self-treatment with meditation and psychedelics.

Yo! My main insight into this state of consciousness is that it is only a "disorder" if you are living the conventional, neurological lifestyle. I'm a YouTuber and freelance voice actor, so I am living an alternative life which allows me to be at peace with my own mind. For anyone who is in a similar position with a debilitating mental condition, I would encourage them to carve out their own path by tapping into the type of creativity that only your type of mind can produce. This is when neurodivergence becomes a "superpower". It shouldn't be romanticised though, as if you are not living aligned with your own values and ambitions, this condition is 100% a disorder and generates an unfathomable amount of mental and sometimes physical suffering. Hope this was insightful.

Did not mean to write such a bad title sorry lol my phone made it look like I had written a full title. Definitely a skill issue as well tho.

So much fun and tapped me back into my love of Star Wars before Disney starkiller de-Based the fuck out of this franchise. This was back when the camp, epic & spiritual qualities of Star Wars all meshed together into something really original. You'll never see this type of stuff again from the 🐁 https://youtu.be/g6-yclEOgR4?is=Y7mI2TnM6ZsmnmRH

I liked what I saw but I couldn't watch any more of it because the overall aesthetic didn't gel with me so I know what you mean. I didn't like watching the cold, digital camerawork, even if it is in service of the story.

If you have an NVIDIA graphics card, the app has this feature called shadowplay which allows you to record in whatever quality you want and it's UI is very user friendly. I use it to record all of my bits.

I imagine he means an emulator for the remake on Switch 2. Dunno how stable they are atm.

Absolutely agree. Breath of the Wild had some decent one's but Tears of the Kingdom's killed the pacing of that game whenever I had to do one. I just looked it up cause I gained no satisfaction from doing most of them in the last one lol. If Nintendo continues the open world format for future mainline titles, I would like to see shrines completely fucked off in favour of a few oldskool-style, but massive complex dungeons, with new and interesting mechanics and radically better combat. The exploration and creative elements in ToTK should stay though imo, that's what makes that game so experimental and replayable.

Do a play through of it on your blog! Genuinely very interested to hear your insights into game development (especially cause I'm in the middle of making one), also get that Morrowind let's play done that you implied you were gonna do, I've not let go of that one haha. P.S. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that I played your Lost Spires mod before stumbling upon your content, but saying that, knowing how the Universe works now, it actually makes perfect sense lol