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I sometimes doubt my passion as well. But you don't have to come to a conclusion so early. Watching the videos is only the starting point of an actualized life. It puts ideas in your head that you haven't tried it out yourself. Leo has warned the viewers not to buy into his ideas. Everyone's life is puzzle that calls out for trials and errors of individualized solutions.

This is deep. Self-actualization is like taking the red pill. The world looks crazy and the former self looks crazy. There's no turning back.

Thank you guy! Drawing on your suggestions, I have listed the following actions: 1. Meditation 2. 90 min electronic device free time before bed; 3. Journal; 4. Bedtime yoga; 5. Download blue-light filter app; This will be the start of a good sleep routine. I'll try them out. Thank you again!

Surrender and acceptance do not mean giving up. If anything, they generate much more proactive actions than resistance and denial. In your farmer analogy, you don't resist the fact that your vegetables are being eaten by insects, saying: "Bad insects! Why the world is always against me!" You take action to protect your vegetables. When it doesn't work, you don't resist it saying: "I've been working so hard! Why are the insects still there!" Basically, you always live in the present, observe, take action, check the result, and adjust your actions in a level-headed manner.

The purpose of life is not to be happy. Otherwise this website would be called happiness.org, not actualized.org, right? Live an actualized life, and you'll be truly happy. If you settle for happiness, it wears out pretty quickly. We create because we want to create. We challenge ourselves because we want to challenge ourselves. We seek improvement because we want to seek improvement. Not for happiness. Not for looking good. Not for being rewarded. Unconditional happiness means seeing any situation as an opportunity for growth rather than to fight against or settle for. You can be happy in any situation. But that doesn't mean you want to stay there and stop growing. I recommend Leo's video: What Is the Point of Life? He has his explanation in it your question. It could be mind-racking but it's definitely worth the while.

Well, you may start by stopping trying to be happy. Start to know yourself. Dig deep into your hopelessness, not for the purpose of solving it, but for the purpose of understanding it. You can learn so much about yourself just by observing yourself. The grip of hopelessness will loosen once you see it as something worth looking at rather than something to battle with.

If you can truly allow your body feel the strong emotions, they won't last. Trust me. I've been through it. It's good that you can scream, kick and cry. It means that your body wants to vent that stored up emotion. And it's particularly encouraging that you say to yourself: "I'm here with you." But don't say "Please calm down" or "Tomorrow will be better." Be there completely with yourself no matter how long it takes to digest the emotion. Emotions are neutral. Only we put tags on them such as: "Smiling is good! Behaving yourself is good! Crying is bad! Screaming is bad! You look crazy if you cry and scream!" Sounds familiar? Because that's exactly what our parents told us when we expressed our emotions through the body when we were kids. It's really a good sign that you can name your emotions! Many people suppress their emotions using distractions and no longer know how they feel exactly! Let them course through your body and they won't bother you that much. Otherwise, they will seep through your body next time you get into a relationship and destroy it. I'm sorry for you pets. But it's exactly because you don't let your body feel the emotions that they find targets to vent. Taking it out on another life only stokes up more emotions. You absorb the fear and resentment of your cat when you beat it. Can you put your cat somewhere safe when you plan to feel your emotions? Bring him back, cuddle him and apologize to him when you are done. Explain your situation to him. He'd understand, not through words but through your vibes. What? Feeling emotions requires planning? Yes, it's something to be treated seriously. Get some pillows to hit. Scream into them. Get a pen and a piece of paper if you want to write down your feelings. Prepare a cup of hot chocolate to sooth yourself afterwards. You can be your best therapist. As for friends, I don't think it's a good idea to talk to them if you feel they don't get you. Obviously you feel hurt and regress deeper into your shell when they don't. You can heal even nobody out there gets you. Just keep saying "I'm here with you" in your mind when you feel your emotions. Remember? Leo said there are two "You": one inside this body and mind and the other out there in the wide consciousness. You're never alone, literally. The higher self can provide infinite energy to heal the body and mind. When you feel you are more emotionally stable, you can go out there and explain your situation to your friends. Since you are not in any hope for them to completely get you for you to heal, you won't feel deeply hurt. Deep relationships are built upon feeling safe to show vulnerability to each other. So you can test and choose your friends consciously in the future. The good news is, when you are deeply compassionate with yourself, you'll be deeply compassionate with other people's pain. Everyone has their own share of loneliness. They are crying alone unbeknownst to you. Be the one to heal, to see, to listen, and to be there for them.

Try a little bit of substitute for perking yourself up, such as yoga, stretching before sleep, meditation, mindfulness, etc. Make it an experiment. See it as a good opportunity to diversify your energy stimulus rather than "quitting coffee." For me, deep stretch and meditation before bedtime is a good coffee. But I also drink black coffee and puer tea from time to time. I take a moment to feel my energy everyday when I wake up. If I don't feel very energized, I'd adjust my sleep routine to make up for it. Sleep is the cornerstone for energy.

I'd like to bend your mind: Suppose you already know it's going to fail. Does it make it not worth trying? Who knows, maybe you are going to meet somebody along the way that may present you with a good opportunity. Or you learn valuable skills and experiences. Or you find the love of your life. God has far more creative ways to manifest than we can imagine. We either get something or learn something. There's no such thing as waste. I'm reminding myself of this every day. Keep moving step by step. When you feel stuck, any move is a good move.

That life is too complicated to figure out. It may be easy for other people but not for me. I had this limiting belief too. When I started working on my own puzzle, I found it quite enjoyable to delve into an area that I feel confused about. For instance, I've been quite interested in mini habits recently. It helped me a lot in start resolving long-standing issues. But I came across the idea early on. It was just an idea. I never cared much to research it and try it out myself. I think it's called learned helplessness. Leo once said that you can change your life by googling the right stuff. You can dig deep into anything to find the answer you need. But most people never care to look for it even if resources are so abundant.

Normally I try focusing on breathing, or carrying a mantra like ho'oponopono: "I love. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." When strong emotions hit it's hard to focus and I just give in. But I'll try bringing my focus back bit by bit from now on. Thank you! Cleaning is a good tool for staying present. I never realized that until quite recently. Thank you for the advice! I do tend to flow back and forth into past and future. I need to start from small things to stay more present.

This is true. But trying to find out the emotional root cause for changing a habit is too complicated for an ordinary person. Unless, you have a really really good therapist who not only helps you find out the root cause but also has the technique to release it. My approach to overcome my addiction is to cut my attention on it first. I nurture myself in as many aspects as possible: having a clean apartment, talking to friends, watching educational youtube videos, classical music, cat videos, healthy food, reading, stretching before going to bed, gratitude journal, all in all, very small acts that make me feel good from hour to hour. The thing is, addiction has grown into a monster that you just cannot reckon with. Like you said, when the craving hits, it's hard to resist. So it's already too late to deal with it when the craving arises. You can only reduce the craving by working on your emotional resources. When the craving hits, let it hit you. Observe the smallest change and give yourself the credit for it. And don't feel guilty. Guilt is the best fuel for addiction. Have you played plant vs. zombie? Imagine addiction as a big boss zombie driving a bull dozer. Those small emotional resources are small suns you collect. Only when you have collected enough suns can you buy enough defense to keep the zombies at bay. This mentality will gradually reduce the drive for addiction rather than fighting it head on. But don't take my word for it. Some people can go cold-turkey. Keep your mind open and experiment with them. Have fun and good luck!

I think Teal Swan's perspectives on depression and suicidal thoughts are pretty good.

Mine is emotional binge eating. It makes feel like I'm crazy. I'm recovering now. The key is to fix it by taking the smallest change you can, I mean, ridiculously small. Taking this mentality, anything monument can register significant change in 3-6 months. Normally, chronic issues imply that there is a mental block of not accepted and even we pretend it's not there. That's exactly what stokes relapse. The right mentality: "I'm not okay. I hate myself for it. But I accept where I am completely. I accept that I make baby steps completely." Mini habit is quite under appreciated in this regard. Take two minutes to improve your health every day. Other time, just forget about it. It sounds ridiculous like throwing a tiktak at a ranging bull. But check this out. It makes so much sense.

Found it. Which way is she spinning?

I can relate to you. Sometimes intuition can lead us to a situation where we are completely lost. But that's exactly what it's for: to get you completely lost so that you can be truly found. To take everything away from you so that you have nothing to lose to embark on the hero's journey. To overthrow your old belief system in order to build a new one. My approach after living in resistance for a long time is that I say to myself: "I accept everything. I don't understand where it will lead me to but I accept everything. I believe God has a much better plan than mine." Then, a revelation will show up. It may be a thought, a small act on intuition, speaking something that I'd rather not, connecting with a stranger, etc. I keep an eye out for the signs. As a matter of fact, this forum was a synchronicity. If I have not vowed for radical acceptance, I wouldn't have had the energy to check it out. It turns out to be gold. The first question about regret I posted has attracted a lot of high-quality answers to dissolve my long-standing stuck spot. So, just accept it (you can do it partly if total acceptance is too hard) and wait for the next sign of move.

How do you know that seeing is believing? I suggest you insert some brain-tricking games into it. For instance, the gif of a circling dancer. She can be turning right and turning left, depending on what you decide. You believe before you see. Reality is distortion. There is no objectivity. Everything changes when you focus on them.

This analogy couldn't be more accurate. Who would watch a movie where the hero just knows everything?!

Thank you for your recommendation! I'd definitely re-visit his thoughts on the present moment. Oddly, I found myself resisting a lot listening to Eckhart Tolle. My inner abuser feeding off from his words and grew more violent: "You should've been done with your trauma already!" And that paralyzed me. Then I found other teachers and tried somatic techniques to release the trauma from my body. Also doing yin yoga everyday to release day-to-day stress. So I guess "coming back to the present" could backfire because for some people, trauma needs serious focus and be released from the body rather than just playing a mental game. For this part, I'm still a bit confused. What do you think?

I regret so that I can stay in the victim mentality. I regret so that I can justify not making an effort: "See, you always fall behind. You always miss opportunities. Your life is a big disappointment." I regret so that I don't have to challenge the inner abuser. I regret so that I always have an excuse not to take action. I regret so that I don't have to face the possible bitter disappointment in the future. I keep forgetting that when I realize that "I did something stupid." It's already a growth. I feel that self-development is just reminding me how stupid I was and I am and I will be. I must shift the perspective into "I grow from making mistakes. The more mistakes I make, the more I grow. Just keep moving forward." Thank you for this in-depth multi-perspective analysis into regret! It really shed light light on a lot of my blind spots.

What is the motive behind your academic misconduct? Is it fear? Jealousy? Living up to expectations? Laziness? Distraction? Procrastination? Or even, you're just sorry you got caught? It reminds me of a scandal recently here in China. A rising star singer said during an online streaming with his fans that his step father pulled some strings to get him the qualification of applying for a certain type of university. He told the story in a joking way. But it became viral online and the National Educational Ministry stepped in. His step father was removed from his office and his mother was being investigated for her business. He destroyed his rising career because of the "accident". Some people say that it's common everywhere for government officials to use their privileges for their own good. He was just unlucky that he said it publicly. But he must have been so used to abusing loop holes and privileges that he no longer thought many of his actions were breaking the law. In fact, he believes that he is the scapegoat. A lot of crisis, though they may be God's will to set us on another path, are worth reflecting upon to reveal our limiting beliefs and flaws. I have been punished by my own misconducts, minor or major, because I thought "it's not that serious." So we'll benefit from it a lot to see it as an opportunity to reflect on ourselves to prevent even more serious consequences in the future.

Why is it a childish approach? A lot of people are working on their purposes in a part-time manner. For instance, Marie Forleo often talks about how she developed her coaching career while working as a bartender. You can always figure out a way. Some have found their purpose and can go all-in. Some people's purposes are experimented and engineered slowly. There's no all-in or all-out. Actually most people are in the grey area between the two.

Thank you! This is what I'm doing at the moment. Wanting to figure it all out at one is paralyzing and it keeps bringing me back to memories to escape from the work ahead. I need to take it slowly and not complicate things.

Thank you for your detailed response to my question. It is truly relieving to examine the psyche of regret close-up. This is how my brain tricks me every time I make some progress. The resistance has caused a lot of friction. What you resist persists. So it's hard for me to make real breakthrough even though I see where I'm stuck. I've been experimenting with techniques to reduce the regret and resistance. For instance, carrying a mantra throughout the day can place some distance between myself and the automatic thoughts. Placing flow time in my day also helps. I need to keep reminding myself of this everyday! Thank you again!

I don't think 10,000 hours can be applied to any type of career. Your example of a boxer, For athletes, career path is normally simple and clear. Training can be clearly defined by body parts, numbers, rankings, etc. Their everyday life can be broken down into deliberate practice from hour to hour. But most careers are not clearly defined. You can't say Steve Jobs built his career out of a definite deliberate practice routine. A fine example would be Robert Greene. His career path is a typical example of "overnight success" that does not have much consistency. Therefore, deliberate practice can be quite helpful in developing a certain skill. But not every career is specific skill based. Most of the time, we achieve one small success to another, cultivating skills, making connections, collecting resources and experiences along the way. Some are done consciously and can be measured. Some are done unconsciously. That's why a lot of breakthroughs would come as surprise. That's serendipity at play.