ZenSwift

That recontextualizes for me so much about why women behave the way they do. That makes sense too, most people don't have the emotional support to be able to have that vulnerability.

Holy fuck guys I'm killing myself laughing You're totally right, it is MDMA. I fucked up lmao. Like I said, I haven't tested them yet so I haven't even identified which one was which cause I ordered them at the same time lmfao. HERE'S my DMT. @Girzo @acidgoofy @Leo Gura @Juan @thepixelmonk @Chives99

Still gotta test my DMT, but how does it look?

Can relate. Wanted to one time Stab myself with thumbtacks to inquire into the nature of pain. Another time I had this idea to brand myself with a burn as a symbol of commitment to my higher ideals. And the pain in the subsequent days will be a constant reminder to do better. One time there was the freedom convoy rioting outside of of nowhere at the peak of my highest LSD trip. Another time I was on LSD, I had a annoying guy that wouldn't stop texting me about a fucking $10 purchase. Pissed me the fuck off! Another time I was so high on mushrooms that I couldn't even use my phone and me and my mom that was also high as fuck were near an area with a very high chance of seeing a bear. Was also in the blistering heat. Shit was a fucking mission. Other times I had anxiety attacks basically every day for a month.

LMAO all my wings suck ass and they're honestly a hindrance to my game. I do better when I just start approaching alone.

This is one of my biggest goals with Awakening. That and realizing I'm immortal.

Guys, what does the Brita System Do?

It's better than google.

@Leo Gura there's no way you've done that, right?

I realize that I do not have an explicit enough definition of self Deception to identify my own self Deceptions. This has been a problem for me. As I would like to learn how to derive my own list of discovered self deceptions. Any pointers guys?

This needs to become a pinned post.

How does one build awareness around the moments they have negative self talk? I am having a very hard time finding any negative self talk in my direct experience, either my awareness is too sloppy or I don't have it. What are the best ways to install a new operating system of self talk? Great book suggestions are massively appreciated here.

Kambo is definetly on my to do list.

Noted.

How many days do you do the protocol?

January 10th 2023 So in this trip, both my mother and I did 5g. I was upstairs listening to Leo getting my mind blown left and right, while occasionally checking on my mother that starts channelling like crazy on these mushroom doses. Unlike the last time we tripped together, we were both tripping safely at home. Mom took her dose at 12:48pm. (2.8g Golden Teacher + 2.2g Blue Meanies) = 5g My dose was taken at 1:20pm (1.05g Blue Meanies + 3.95g Amazonian) = 5g We started to get high at about the same time. My Main Intentions What is Consciousness? What is Love? What is Relationship? Secondary Intention For Later How can I Focus Even more? >Never got to it. Listened to this: 10 minutes in Noticing my body shaking like before. Amazonian strain does this for me. 20 minutes High Shit moving. 33 minutes in. A new level of high kicked in. Noticing a subtle ear ringing. This trip feels like Avatar. I feel like I am one of the Na'vi People. I recently watched Avatar 1&2 and this trip felt like Avatar 2. This was beyond awesome. Insight: If you watch movies before your trip, your trip will start to feel like the mind-space of that movie. Insights and Musings We are part of one Divine mind. I can see that now, that is a fucking rough one to swallow Start writing your proud story. When it comes to life purpose, think about having such an awesome life that when it comes time for someone to write a biography on you, it will be a fucking amazing read Attachment so fucking deep. The love that you get from a mother is what motivates you to be the proud protector of the tribe. You need to have a fucking story always inspiring you. Periodically watch movies to inspire you. Use the minds of other people to bring wisdom to me. Powerful people have the luxury to use other minds to do thinking for them. Have other Minds working for you to give you the best insights. ZONK yourself with powerful catalyst experiences to get yourself in the zone of becoming who you want to become. I noticed in my life that there were moments before going to bed where I would look at the ceiling and I chose to love my life. I said, "Even in this moment, I am happy". I need you to choose to love your life. This is a decision that you make. One thing that's very remarkable about psychedelics is how much it interconnects all your memories such that there is an easy flow between several memories at once. There is a memory that popped up in my consciousness Where I remembered when I won the gold medal for a soccer game when I was a child and after I won the soccer coach told me I was a warrior. Good times. I demand Warriors out of my people. I am very surprised how little visuals I got with this strain. I was very surprised with how much I was grounded this entire trip. I didn't allow myself to get whisked away nearly as much. Even though this was one of my most potent doses. Perhaps it was because of the lack of visuals? In future trips, I will really focus on grounding myself much more because this helped a whole lot with producing great insights. It was incredible to notice how my mind had this remarkable ability to have several trains of thought at once. It's like my mind was able to segment itself into its own subdivisions. Definitely alien level thinking. Leo says: "Why can't they're universe just choose to exist?" Makes sense to me. How to give a wicked compliment: Give people compliments to stay in their consciousness for a while. Where your compliment gets into the minds of other people. "I want you to think about this compliment for the rest of your night". Your life is a maze, Welcome. Welcome to the puzzle that is your life. When you become the physical embodiment of the man that you want to become people have to rise up to your level or they can fuck off. Become so based that people TREMBLE in your presence because you make them feel so inadequate by just existing. This is why becoming the ultimate embodiment is the ultimate power Self-Actualization and Shadow work especially is crawling out of the contexts that you have trapped yourself in. It's like finding your way out of a house that is completely hoarded to the ceiling. One needs to crawl out of the paradigm locks they've unconsciously put themselves in. Crawl yourself out of the fucked family you're in and the fucked up friend group you are attached to. Crawl yourself out of your shitty wage-slave job that is forcing you to live paycheck by paycheck. Crawl yourself out of your own limiting beliefs that is preventing you from making steps. Crawl yourself out of all the anxieties and neurotic OCD tenancies you have. Crawl out of a rats nest of bad habits you have developed over years of being mediocre. I respect those that have the courage to live another day. Especially when life starts to really suck. I'm noticing that when teaching people you need to give them plenty of contexts for their mind to think about in order to grasp the nature of what you are talking about. Steelman your arguments with layers upon layers of context to deconstruct. Construct and deconstruct. That is how you teach. I started to really notice that I will use my language in an intelligent way to bake in contexts and metaphysical assumptions. A wise teacher understands how to do this intentionally. I will be teaching people how to understand a specific concept, and I'll intentionally layer it with additional contexts in mind. I'll layer it with the context of a positive mindset I'll layer it by speaking in a certain way that is accurate to my metaphysical contemplations. I'll layer it in the context of it being empowering/ ego boosting. I'll layer it under a context of using specific beliefs that I know that the student is attached to. So I will intentionally hook them in that way. I'm noticing that we will rationalize our indoctrinations that made us go through pain and suffering. These rationalizations will massively influence our relationships with our decisions that we make today. For example, all the pain you went through being an ADHD child, not being able to focus. To the point where you actually started to believe that you are an actual loser without this medication. Where you believe that you are an unfocused mess. But then you grow older, you start eating clean, you start having 8 hours of quality sleep every night, you eat super healthy, you do a heavy metal detox, you're actually fine to focus without it. THAT plus eliminating all of your distractions and actually sitting down and training yourself to focus. This is at least the story I had. Where I realized that the ADHD medication I had was doing me no favors. The only time it did me favors was when I had to sit in a boring lecture at school that was DESIGNED to bore you to death. Because I suffered so much to take that medication, I unconsciously constructed a story as to why I was a loser without it. When your life becomes more abundant, you will naturally grow outside of the life that you're in. You grow outside of the environment that you are in. Subconscious patterns are constantly governing our decisions all the time. This is why you have to be incredibly strong-willed to cultivate enough awareness to break these old patterns. I believe that men have an easier time doing this than women because women are influenced by their emotions a whole lot more. The difference between a human and an animal is that a human can make a choice to not be influenced by their desires. We will naturally become a loser if we just listen to our crybaby attitudes to take the path of least resistance. We will NATURALLY become a bitch if we are not intentional about always doing the emotionally difficult thing. It wouldn't be a story worth having if there wasn't conflict. Conflicts in every single moment unlocks the beauty and intelligence of life. It is through the exchange of conflict does intelligence allow itself to be birthed. The physical objects around you bake in meaning. So design your physical environment intelligently. Invest money to personalize gifts for your people to strengthen your relationships. Nothing is more special than a well thought out, personalized gift. Meaning = Personalization. You need to earn today. Every single day needs to be earned. Have a thing with fighting for. You're either a king or a loser, there's no in-between. Being an amazing director of movies demands a massive understanding of people's lives, psychology, stages of development, all of it. Plus all of the nitty gritty details of understanding complex politics to construct all these deep storylines and narratives. Eat salty chips to control the bladder so you don't have to go pee as much from drinking all this water to avoid the shroom hangover. Drink lots and eat chips. More insights on how to improve yourself fast. Go to WAR on your Life. Declare WAR on your Life. You need to be hyper vigilant to constantly notice all the patterns you've unconsciously indoctrinated yourself with. Build awareness as fast as you can. Psychedelics Meditation Meditative yoga Journalling Contemplation Visualization Solo retreats Crawl yourself out of the perceived contexts that you are in. Train mega awareness. Cultivate Strong relationships to facilitate your growth. Allocate resources towards yourself. Spend money. At least 10% of your total income needs to be spent towards yourself Buy life coaching. Invest in physical infrastructure Laptops Heavy Metal Detox Supplies Get your own place / Move out Nothing is more powerful than making an intelligently placed investment in yourself. Get rid of all the addictions Get rid of all the toxic people. Treat every day as day one. The worst day. The most valuable resource you can leverage is your time. Have the courage to live way below your means such that you have much more time to work on yourself. Focus on taking away the distractions, and learn how to focus properly with discipline. Both of these need to be combined together for maximum result. Find your focus style. Use the Kolbe A Index. Separate tasks dependant on their cognitive difficulty. Then do the most cognitively difficult activities first, and move down the list as the day goes on and your energy drains. Constantly ask yourself: Am I going to show up for today? I asked this question every time I stepped into a cold shower or started a brutal workout. Start making plans as to how you're going to use all the money you're going to make to build a case as to why you're going to need it. Random Thoughts One day directors are going to use AI to fix movie mistakes and cinema sins. A meaningless tattoo is a sign that you are meaningless. Post Trip Report Very fun trip, was very confident throughout. Had lots of connecting moments with my mother. My mom got massive clarity on her trip. I need to study more about 5meo more so I can get myself ready for it! I am slowly building more and more understandings of deep metaphysical insights.

@Leo Gura @Alex_R @Osaid @Sincerity @BlessedLion@D2sage You guys might like this report as well. Some similar juicy insights.

January 3rd 2023 Core Intention: What is Consciousness? Later intention: How do I optimize what action I'm doing such that I'm taking the right action every single time? How do I prioritize my actions such that I am doing the best thing in every single moment? >I've found that setting 2 intentions is a really good way to utilize the different states of consciousness you experience on your trips. The First Intention is the deep metaphysical truth you are trying to access that is only accessible when you are at the peak of a psychedelic trip. The Second intention is when you're still pretty high, where your creativity is high and you are still getting massively bombarded with one insight after another. This is where you can utilize this state of consciousness for working out very practical matters towards your life purpose. Dose: 5g = (1.49g Mazatapec + 3.52g Amazonian) (Grinded up into powder. Lemon Tek Tea for 69 minutes) I set an explicit time to start the trip. As that cut down procrastination time. Taken at 12:14PM I'm ready to go to war. >Every 5g trip is brutal Every time I go into these trips, it's a suicide mission. I'm like the joker jumping into a bottomless pit of monsters and demons with a gun pointed at my head and bombs strapped to my chest. NOOB psychonaughts listen to music when they're tripping. As you gain strength, you will learn to trip without any music. 15 minutes in... Starting to get really fuckin high while I'm on the the toilet lol. I always get the nervous shits before I blast off into my trips. Noticing visuals in the floor Amazonian mushrooms kick in way harder and way faster. I get a different flavor of visuals with every single strain. These are of course way more pronounced on the higher doses. Getting visuals of points in my visual field squeezing. For about the past 8 minutes I've noticed that I've been shivering a lot. Amazonian strain makes me shiver like crazy on the comeup. Insights, Observations and Musings Psych yourself out to learn better. Work out like crazy says that you're ready to learn WHAT THE FUCK the book is ready to tell to you. Do several burpees throughout the day to have your consciousnesses perpetually ZONKED and ready to get the knowledge in the book that you are studying. Have your state of consciousness zonked all the time by doing push-ups and burpees throughout the entire day. The best trips are always the hardest ones... Because that is where you grow the most. This is where the insights you get are hard-won. I continue to think about my death to release my fear that I was experiencing. I was naturally drawn to contemplate and think about my death. So I did. Fast forward to me lying down in my bed... For about 10 minutes I was in a daze thinking and visualizing about war. I was started to get convinced that Putin was going to come and kill me. After I snapped out of it, I was just in awe and went: "Wow, now THAT'S the power of consciousness!" The intelligence that we are creating is a power we can't stop. The evolution of God manifesting its physical expression of divine intelligence is a force we cannot stop. It's an overwhelming force. The universe will continue to become more and more interconnected and intelligent. When you think about how you are not separate from your environment, you start to realize just how much you are controlled by it. You are literally controlled by the physical objects in your environment. Objects are commanding you to live exactly how you are. All figments of consciousness is commanding you to be exactly the way you are. And you are a part of it. You are conforming to your environment in the same way that the shape of your toes conform to the shape of the shoes you wear. The ultimate accountability Partner: Hire an assassin to kill you in a year from now if you are a loser. The more I reflect, the more I notice that life is put together as a perfect poem just for you. I love being free. I am a Free spirit. When you're inspired by Death you will command yourself to live the best life possible. This is why we need to constantly reconnect with the reality of our mortality. God's Absolute Authority God needs no reason to decide what is sexy or not. When you have the authority, you can just decide, and then that's it. No need for a reason behind it. It just is. As god, I command what exists and what doesn't. When you made a decision, you don't need any explanation behind it because you're God. > I am still aware that I don't have any actual God Realization yet. Intelligence of God's Plan God has so much fucking intelligence he's planning your entire life. That mother fucker is planning your entire life to be fucking beautiful. God is PLANNING your life to be beautiful. Why the fuck don't you see that? When you do see that, you need to show your respect for him with every fucking moment, through your actions! God is giving you The Ultimate Gift by designing your life perfectly for you. God is saying: "You are the most intelligent motherfucker on the planet. Just you wait. I'm going to make a genius out of you. It's my master plan." God is TELLING ME how to be intelligent today! There are intelligent motherfuckers walking amongst me. Writing shit down forces you to explicitize it. That's the structure of writing. Structure commands you to have form. Imagine every single Concept in your mind as a person that perfectly embodies that concept. e.g. "Structure" is a person. Construct your entire mind as an army of different people. Design a tribe of people in your mind that perfectly defines every single concept in your mind. You can go and talk to these people in your mind to contemplate specifically about an idea. For example: Go and check up on the person that is "confidence". Have Concepts in your mind as different people. Create Tulpas that your can ask for knowledge on that concept. When I am Contemplating that concept, I am having a personal conversation with the person that is the full embodiment of that concept. Death is to bury you with diamonds. You should be proud to die when your day comes, as it is the capstone of all of your proud accomplishments of all the life you lived. Be proud to die one day. That will be the mark of your greatest achievement of living the life of a winner. Dying is just a temporary state of consciousness. God will help you die when it's your time. God will put you in a stage of consciousness to help you die when it's your time to die. How To Improve Yourself The Fastest: When it comes to self-improvement, there is so much shit to do, the question becomes, "Where do I start to give me the most leverage?" Key Insight: Upgrade your Hardware as fast as possible. Getting your mind right. Study Metaphysics, Epistemology and consciousness to give yourself a strong foundation for your understanding to be built upon. Study the mind Learn how to think. (Leo I really could use that video right about now. We all need it! What do you mean it is too perfect?) Learn how to use your thoughts. Give yourself tons of tools and models to put on several lenses of looking reality through Positive self talk. Train this. Learn how to Contemplate from scratch and derive knowledge for yourself. In other words, learn REAL PHILOSOPHY, as Leo explains it in his video. Rid yourself of Ideologies and Paradigm locks. Rid every single assumption about reality that your mind is attached to. Utilize psychedelics to have Psychedelic breakthroughs. Do Shadow Work - - Ridding all of the traumas that create a cloud of doom and gloom in your every day state of consciousness. Getting the machine of your body running properly Nutrition with your body Eating the proper Foods to get the nutrition you need avoid brain fog, among other problems. Supplementation can not replace a good diet. Heavy Metal detox. Sleep - You're fucked if you cannot give your body enough sleep. Sleep is the bedrock of a solid life. Exercise - You need to jumpstart the biological processes in your body to get everything working at an optimal level. Work out hard several times throughout the day, as then you will always be operating at a higher level. Wes Watson will have routines where he will do 60 minutes of cognitively demanding tasks, 40 minutes of monotonous tasks, and 20 minutes of working out HARD! That is a structure put in place to make sure you're running your hardware at an optimal capacity. Create systems that will facilitate your growth Create protocols and contingencies for when you start to backslide Being able to identify the expansion phase and contraction phase. Have a commonplace book Take tons of notes on everything. Document your behaviours. Study deeply on all the topics you need to understand. Create Self-Reflection Systems Journaling Vlogging Writing down and Dumping Your Thoughts Self-Reflection In your mind, See Leo Guras Video on Self Reflection, Contemplation, How to Do Real philosophy Talk To Other People, in person or on the Phone Etc. Write Manifestos and take on each endeavor as its own Project. This way you are cultivating the maximum amount of intent. Schedule in and plan everything like crazy. Schedule in an uncomfortable amount of structure to get as much done as possible. The more intelligently you try to keep your schedule FILLED, the more productive you'll be. Routines Routinely ZONK yourself into more powerful states of consciousness. Constantly put yourself into positive states of mind of gratitude where negativity is absent. Intense workouts several times throughout the day. Ice baths. Cold showers. Meditation. Kriya Yoga. Gratitude Practices within all these emotionally difficult tasks. Learn Positive self talk. Explicitize routines to the point where a single decision lasts way longer. Wear the same outfit. Eat the same breakfast. Have the same Morning Routine. Have the same Bedtime Routine. Focus on the activities that control your actions and direct experience the most. Two Great Ways to Prevent Shroom Hangovers As you do psychedelics more often, you train your brain to handle it better which leads to less hangovers. Hydrate like crazy. If you're not peeing every 10-20 minutes, you're not drinking enough. You should be drinking at a rate where the headache you feel afterwards never occurs. Put salt, lemon juice and a bit of sugar to supplement electrolytes. Eat salty chips to make you go pee less often. Random Thoughts Put Here Experience teaches people so much. It's the ultimate teacher. This is why an enlightenment intensive or a seminar can be the catalyst experience you needed. Imagine hiring David Goggins for a month and the experience that it would give you. You would learn so much! Study the structure of language more. You have to selflessly surrender your perspective to come to an agreement. Tattoos are a beautiful way to express your devotion to living a better life if you frame it that way. If you get a tattoo under the context that you got it as a symbol of living a better life, this can be a great catalyst of a totem. Enlightenment is way better than you can imagine. If you can imagine "a size" to enlightenment. God has made it bigger. When setting boundaries You need to have the courage to be an asshole to demand people to be better. For those that are struggling to find reasons to stay alive. I RESPECT you for a living another day. Post Trip Report Very crazy trip, but when I just lean in, I generate so many amazing insights.

This kind of trip report worries me so much when it comes to motivation for life purpose. Like, will I loose the ability to be a lean, mean, machine? Only one way to find out...

December 20th 2022 Have a goal to drink 1 litre at least every two hours Add in Electrolytes - A splash of lemon juice, a pinch of salt, and less than half a teaspoon of sugar. This will significantly help with shroom hangovers. Intention As I have been searching for truth, the question has naturally narrowed itself down to the following: What is Consciousness? Focus Consciousness on itself. What are you consciousness? Dose: 5g Mazatapec - Coffee Grinded to a Powder. Made a Lemon Tek Tea, it sat for 70 minutes. Didn't strain it. Taken at 2:23pm 16 minutes Getting yawns Getting high 22 minutes Bright colours, Visuals What is the bubble of Consciousness that I'm experiencing? And I am trying to inquire even beyond the limitations of that question. I need to really make sure to not be mesmerized and hypnotized by the visuals as I need to focus on my state of consciousness asking the question about what is the whole bubble of consciousness itself. 45 min Yes, LOTS and lots of Visuals. I forgot how hardcore The Visuals are going to get. Oh man I can't wait till stuff is just shoved into my face. It's actually a fun house. How can you focus on Consciousness when there's like fucking shit literally being shoved in your face?! Hands holding objects being shoved into my face all the time. For example; I'll think about money, and then I will have several hands holding bills and coins come to my face. It's such a funny scenario. 47 minutes I already got a tiny hand trying to grab at my fucking glasses. Note to self Never go out in public on a dose like this because you can get super excited. I noticed that I can get out of fucking control and I could really get myself into some trouble at this dose. Legal trouble. If I were to let's say go out and party on this dose, I could get angry and get beaten up or try to harm someone. I'm noticing that I am one to push a little bit because of I have a very liberal mind. But I need to remember to never go out in public on a dose like this. Even if I'm on the come down. Another important thing I want to train is I want to train meditating. You know I'm meditating now and focusing really well, but before out of fear I was just kind of laughing and walking around the apartment yelling "fuuuuuck" while I was on the comeup. As a very funny meta humor about the situation. Having no music is overpowered. It really lets you focus on what is important. 58 minutes My face is gone. I have become conscious that I have no face. Insights, Observations and Musings. God tells me "I am everything for you". And it just repeats over and over. Like how he is physically I think I broke through or something. I am having a hard time to fucking manage my attachment to physical matter. I didn't understand how much attachment I had to the idea of physicality. > I wouldn't call this a breakthrough. But I did notice that my ideas of physical matter was ripped apart on this trip. One thing I can do when really high is that I can especially on the come down, I can have a problem I can focus on. I can use this more intelligent/creative state to solve problems way easier. It's like having a second intention for the comedown. I didn't realize how useful it is to fully understand the conservative mind and the liberal mind. That has unlocked more life for me. Because you're a God, you command what exists and what doesn't. Today I have deep insights on Love, God, Authority and Relationship. Understand that when you are famous people are plotting their plan in order to hang out with you. When you learn how to fix the biggest problem people, they give the greatest intelligence in the world. I understand now why Wes Watson talks about how the people that are drug addicts are the special ones, they're the chosen ones because they have so much to bring to the world when they finally heal themselves. The toughest people to fix will bring the biggest intelligence of the world. The problem child has the most intelligence in him. That's why I was always drawn to the weird people in life because that's where the interesting shit happens. I am drawn to the intelligence that is in those people because if you can get those people to straighten themselves up, they become extremely powerful. They have the ability to become iconoclastic. I'm noticing metaphysically the only reason why I have a left and a right ear is because that is a distinction allowing me to configure where sound is coming from. But I actually have the ability to hear in a 360 awareness independent of my need to have ears. As sound occurs exactly where it is. You need to be funny to get your way in life. I have noticed that when you're at this high State of Consciousness you can watch other people living their lives and also other animals living their lives as though that they are programmed robots, and you're just watching them execute their programs. I've noticed my entire life that I Am Naturally drawn to intelligence. Be proud of your big ego/self construct. It's there to give you what you want. It is a necessary structure to facilitate to get what you need. Be prepared for every negative thing that is going to happen in your future. They are your personalized lessons ready to teach you what you need to know. The way you empower people is by giving them the absolute authority to control their perceptions. In order to stop giving a fuck about what other people think about you, you need to take your authority back. When you take your Authority back, you hold what is true in the minds of others. You command what people believe about you. You can always reframe something to a place of personal Empowerment. The more you study something, the more you add structure to your paradigm, the more you close your mind down to alternative ideas. Putting up structure puts up walls and will separate yourself. This is both good and bad. Use this at your own peril. For future trips, set a time to start the trip. As that will cut down procrastination time. As fear of the trip leads me to procrastinate. When you do the sign of the cross (Father, Son, Holy spirit), You are initiating a program. Why not use the same technique to help you initiate your meditation sessions or whatever activity really. I had the curtain pulled and I got a really good look at the elephant's ass today. I really shook a large amount of attachment to the solidity of matter and just my attachment of things being there. I realize more than ever the infinite power of the godhead which is an infinite field of Consciousness that can shapeshift into any form. >When I Start to do 5meo I will understand this more. 13 hours in, starting to feel the pain of come down. Authority I am noticing how powerful taking your authority back is. You can DEMAND what does exist and what doesn't exist. When you have the authority, you demand what exists at an absolute level. You as god can command what exists and what doesn't for you in your life. If waking up on time is what exists, then that is what exists at an absolute level. Command your acceptable existence on this planet and your unacceptable existence on this planet. Clear glass needs my permission to exist. Because I have the authority here, if in my mind, if doesn't exist, then it literally doesn't exist. Yes, if I move close to it it will start existing as I hit my head on it. How to Teach People Make them laugh, build rapport through that, that way their walls will come down and their mind will be opened such that I can deliver the messages that usually close minds. This is the role of the jester. I will give you the message that god is in you. YOU HAVE TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. That is how you get people on your side. >People that see your wisdom will still take what you have to say seriously when you play under a frame of seriousness. Just don't give away your authority by acting too much like a clown. I must become the best storyteller in the world in order to add into becoming the best teacher in the world. Tell Stories, make it funny, and deliver the wisdom. I need you to fall in love with the idea that I am one to teach you and instruct you. I want you to be craving my guidance and instruction. Become so valuable that people fantasize about being personally instructed by you. (Like Leo.) Post Trip Report In this trip I got a good taste at how uncomfortable it can get when you realize a deep metaphysical truth about reality. The next day I had Virtually ZERO shroom hangover because the amount of water I drank. The thinking is: The more I suffer towards drinking water, the less I'll suffer with a shroom hangover.

November 3rd 2022 5g Mazatapec strain - - Grounded up into a powder and Brewed into a lemon tek tea. Taken at 5:20pm Intentions What are you, God? What is Consciousness? Noticing momentum kicking in at 15 minutes. Floor moving at 16 minutes. Later... I'm listening to a Leo's "Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God" and there's motherfuckers Dancing On The Ceiling making me laugh. The room is moving. So beautiful. When you're at THIS high on five grams you don't even know if you're going to make it. Whether or not you're going to make it is on the table. Insights and Musings Really connect with a strong vision every single day. This is vital to living the good life. To imagine anything into existence, you have to also imaging the rest of the universe with it. In order for a piece of dirt to exist, it has to imagine the rest of the universe around it God's power was too great. God was too much today. it was too much. too much. "God is too strong today." I started to realize that I was going to live a billion lives. Making God the ultimate asshole for putting me through this. I keep calling God an Asshole making me suffer all these lives. And suffering every day to be better. It's in that struggle that creates the awesome life. Conflict is what brings the beauty of life forward. Life is all about conflict. There's so much beauty and intelligence in conflict. Every piece of conflict you have in a relationship is an opportunity to strengthen the relationship and deepen your bonds. The conflict around someone is what controls them. The conflict that's all around you grounds the context in where you are right now. If you want to really learn something. Turn it into a project. The more contexts I gather, the better I can teach and the more I learn. I can understand now why Leo would recommend studying everything I need to learn a little bit about everything so I have context to explain what I'm trying to figure out. Need to write more. the more I learn, the better I can explain, the more I can teach. The more experiences I have in life and knowledge about all these different facets of life grants me the knowledge I need to create comprehensive lessons, simply because I'll have more CONTEXTS to work with. I can probably awaken to context or something with how much traction I got with previous trips. Contexts Giggling at the beginning of the trip because my roommate was trying to study while I was getting completely blasted. Having fun Loosing my mind on the floor, punching the floor saying "Don Wildman!" Proceed to have the worst trip ever, like a boss. Mazatapec strain visuals is like a circus. It's a fucking fun house in here. Visuals of dicks everywhere. Dick's fucking guy's asses, girls deepthroating big dicks, super funny shit. Lots of disturbing shit as well. Poop as well. Crazy prisons and psychopaths, all this mad shit. Tip for Surviving Bad Trips Find something to think about and contemplate about, for example how conflict works. When you have a really rough trip you have to tread your way through by contemplating yourself through something. Create more context to ground yourself. Have something to think about to climb towards a better context. Having shit to think about will help you get out of a rough trip. Focusing your mind, solving a problem, trying to figure out the relationships between two figments of consciousness. Hold on. Just keep holding on more and more. you can hold on a little bit longer. Wait, be patient. Post Trip Report I had the worst shroom hangover of my life. I didn't sleep for the entire night. This can be fixed by hydrating properly, and taking the psychedelic as early as possible so that you can actually go to bed on time. Overall, Super crazy, lots of insane visuals. The trip was definitely empowering and allowed me to shed some more fear.

Date: October 10th 2022 Dose: 4.5g Mazatapec Intention: What is Actuality? Taken at 5:50 pm 12 minutes in Feeling a come-up. 14 minutes Kicking in, yawning, tired, etc. Getting into that shroom head space Eventually my contemplation of "What is actuality?" just dove into me asking "What are you, God?" To me, this was the same question as asking what is actuality. Insights and Musings You can't explain it. You either are conscious of it or you're not. When your hand is not in your consciousness, it it literally exists as nothingness. Void. Parts of your body that you do not see or feel literally do not exist. And then when you look at it then it spontaneously gets imagined into existence. God has the power to do that. And God damn. God damn. God is one fucking asshole, he had me fooled. The ultimate Illusionist. I have become conscious that I live in a mind. Post Trip Report Definitely Some mind-blowing insights into the nature of reality. Super duper fun to see god's power where he can just make things appear and vanish. Turn a corner and the room you were just is is gone.

Date: September 30th 2022 Dose: 4g Mazatapec Taken at 1:49pm Intention: What is Actuality? 12 minutes Still cold from my cold shower earlier. Shivering a bit. Feeling the anxiety of the come-up. But I'm also excited too so this is going to be a wild. I remember from my last trip, you kind of feel isolated. Like you have to just lie down and just get fucked by reality. Focusing takes some serious courage. 16 minutes Visuals trickling in Yawns 4g is definitely crossing a threshold. This is a COMPLETELY new domain from 3.5g. Very vibratory, like I am having my entire being vibrate at a higher level. The entire room is alive. Vibrating. Really kicked in now This is definitely a new domain of high. Like very fucking high. Very high vibration. Fuck loads of visuals. Neon closed-eyed visuals. I've noticed that the Visuals reflect your emotions. Like I will see faces of women in the couch for example reflecting an emotion that I am feeling. I was so High that I lost my ability to use my phone properly. Too much visuals and just too much context wipe. I noticed a certain point in my Consciousness where I come back and I'm able to use my phone again. Super interesting. It's like an instantaneous moment. It all just clicked in like all right back to the default homeostasis of what my brain knows what it needs to be doing. So when you do four grams. Well for me. I had a different threshold where it almost feels like the visuals entered into physical objects. So then when I looked at my floor and it was like crazy teeth everywhere and like emotion everywhere. It was like the floor was alive. Insights and Musings Have the courage to say "Fuck this life. I want better." Declare war on your life. Set a date for war. Make a plan to start being fucking awesome Challenge yourself to enjoy life a little more. I'm going to breath life into this bitch. How are you going to breathe into life today? I Want You to Breathe life into next week by working today. I have become conscious that I have no face and I'm just exactly what I experience. I can see this merge between me and the room becoming increasingly profound and deep. I've also become conscious of when I close my eyes my body is gone. Literally. And the rest of reality with it too. Within an instant, reality seizes and then comes back when I open my eyes Post Trip Report It was the highest I've ever been, and it was a whole lot to handle. But I got through it like a champ. I always desensitize myself to more and more fear as I trip more. I also get a lot of clarity and process things about my life. So that's good.

Date: September 21st 2022. Intention: What is Actuality? As serious and focussed as possible this time. (Shrooms are difficult to do consciousness work on, but still do a lot with getting rid of fear and hangups) Dose: 3.5g Mazatapec Lemon Tekked Tea and didn't strain it. Using chewable ginger tablets did the trick to eliminate Nasuea. Taken at 3:45 pm 15 minutes in Slight subtle background activity. Nausea emerging, take ginger to mitigate that. 20 minutes Kicking in Visuals. Shifting, melting tapestries. 27 minutes Kicking in more. 32 minutes The come up is kicking in. Accidentally mistaking it for anxiety but that's just my body energy shifting. Lots of visuals kicking in. The popcorn ceiling is doing all kinds of patterns as well as small gradations and light and Shadow are taking forms of their own. Slightly see 3D figures in my ceiling. My ceiling is becoming 3d. Very intense head vibration. Neon Visuals Strong head high. 55 minutes I was lying down in my bed thinking about my mother one day dying and also me dying one day. Feeling fear and feeling like I was roped down with vines under the tree of souls from Avatar. Whenever I feel fear like this I just lie down. But I also remember to physically open my body up because that helps the energy flow. Extremely mentally visual psychedelic. Makes me think about how hallucinations manifest. They start as a vivid, mental image that's not there, and then it slowly seeps into actual explicit manifestation. Insights and Musings I noticed a lot that we live our entire life THROUGH language. Through our thoughts. It's like the default position operating system. Language is something you can throw away. It's a manifestation of smoke and mirrors. You can just throw it away. This has allowed me to appreciate the value of living life in no mind. Or at least now learn how to use my mind beyond language. Don't let your ego structure define who you are. Break out of that mold. Construct anew. You need to be intentional about constructing your life otherwise your environment will construct a life for you. When you focus on what's actual long enough, insights come to you. You start to notice the Constructs holding reality together. Our past never happened. What is actual is the memories present in your consciousness. I'll say it once and I'll say it again, no-music Psychedelic trips are O.P.. Music is WAY too distracting. Put on music much later after the work was done. That's what I did, and I enjoyed a beautiful walk in the autumn weather with a body high to some great tunes, enjoying my direct experience or being a faceless field of direct experience, looking at the inside of "my head" that is my direct experience. My perceptions dissolving to the point where ego/self construct is subtracted and just being/actuality remains. While I was on this walk I was also appreciating the collectively held ego constructs keeping the city working as a functioning city. Really inspires me to dive deep into studying systems thinking. There is a beauty to understanding all of the systems of reality and learning how they all run together. Random Thoughts Imagine a heated cup that will keep your tea at the perfect temperature. I hate drinking tea that's not Goldilocks temperature. I'll call it the Goldilocks cup. Or imagine a thermometer that you stick into your tea and it beeps when it recognises the perfect (Self set) temperature for it ready to be drank. I hate drinking tea that's too hot and burns my tongue. Sometimes I like to believe I'm 700 years old. I'm an old soul after all. Why are we so ashamed to use so much water washing our dishes when we can easily use 10 times the amount of water when washing our bodies? Double standard much? Observations When I curl up in a ball I get visuals of tiny hands reaching out towards me. I also get mental visuals of electronics knotted up in a ball. Like a knot of tubes and such like veins and cords. At one point I was lying on the floor and I was unconsciously imagining myself as a crocodile ripping apart an antelope and seeing the guts spilling out. Wondering what it would feel like to be a crocodile that has to kill so directly to live. Mazatapec strain definetly has spirits and ancestors attached to it. I see shadow figures walking around. Figures of humans in my ceiling. Definitely would have freaked me out if I was new to psychedelics. So for a few hours I was just rolling around in regret, hysterical laughter and embarrassment at how I just fucked a guy 2 days ago. (I had to check!) I now identify as straight. Motherfucker took my virginity AND my homosexuality with him! I understand that I can get my rocks off to material that leans into homosexual territory, but it ends there, it's a hit of dopamine, a bump of coke, stimulation. I never have and never will feel romantically connected to a man. Sex is all about the emotional connection and what makes it hot is WHO you're having it with. Just the plain stimulation sucks. I can get myself off better with my own hand. Plus I just got fired from my shitty job. Looking back on it, it was definitely a blessing. Post Trip Report I'm noticing now when I close my eyes for an extended period of time, the rest of the world disappears literally. A mysterious void is now what's present. A float tank would be incredible too experience now. When objects disappear around walls, they vanish literally. What's in my consciousness has spawned immediately as a polarization of the field of the godhead. This will only increase in intensity as my Consciousness increases, as time goes on with more and more psychedelic trips.

This trip report isn't too profound in my opinion. But I am posting it anyways as I love documenting my trips. I get a few half decent insights here and there. Date: September 8th 2022 Dose: 3 grams of African Transekei. This strain is extremely potent for visuals. My mom is on 2 grams of this as well. Taken at 12:50pm Intentions: To have fun getting high with my mom, while also focusing on: What is Actuality? Bad Idea: Walking outside while high where there is a chance for a bear to kill you. 15 minutes Getting visuals. 50 minutes High visuals. Lots and lots of visuals What was going on I was walking around on a golf course with my mom being high on 2g, walking the dogs, being pelted by the heat from the sun, getting so much Visuals that I can't even see what's on my phone,while terrified whether there will be a bear to eat us. While listening to this song on dual paired headphones: We were unconsciously being influenced by this song while we were by the "bear hole" on the golf course. Lol. It was a goddamn MISSION to survive that day. It was incredibly beautiful outside that day. All the stupid shit I did today everyone will forget about it tomorrow. >It was very stupid and irresponsible. We made it back home safe. Insights, Musings, and Thoughts You can't explain what God does because language doesn't process it properly. Language does not process God properly. This is going to make a lot of sense when I'm high right now but it's not going to make too much sense when I'm sober. That's okay. "So like, I've became enlightened today. But I just want to go to sleep. I'm just trying to sleep a bit." >Did not become awake but I definitely hit some sort of peak experience because I was accessing a very different level of consciousness. "I became god today." > I did not. That was fantasy. God coats every object with love to make it work. I could see a cloud of love pushing a hand to make it move. No need to cry about anything. Just chilling. God communicates in a very divine way. Every time you do a psychedelic. Ask, what is God telling me today? God has everything to do with making you feel loved. One day you'll remember that you will live forever. You have to purposely forget about everything to focus on one thing. When it comes to focusing on a task, you have to forget about everything else. THAT'S what focus IS. >Leo says "The Godhead, the substrate of consciousness itself, is the superposition of every possible form. But then that thing polarizes down into the concrete forms that make up your present experience. " You as god literally have to imagine you forgetting everything to imagine yourself learning it again. >In order to understand as much as you do now, you have to purposely forget everything else. That's what God does in order to fool himself that he's not infinitely intelligent. >My mind was so open that I believed I could spawn objects, and that one day I'll become intelligent enough to do that. There's no need to spawn objects. All the ego structures are taking care of themselves. I could spawn objects. But it's a lot more fun to figure out how to do everything with everything having their own ego structures. When you reach that level of intelligence, the ego construct slips away and then there's no need to even try. Why create anything when what you got is right here. Its already created in front of your eyes. I always look for ways to respect my life through my actions. We are intelligent Masters trying to construct the most beautiful life possible. This is the best part of the trip. The gift is in the pain. It makes the distinction between pain and pleasure. Post Trip Report Going forward, don't go into potentially dangerous places while high. Don't leave the house on anything above 2g. >In general I see no point to do such things. Especially since I'm getting more serious than ever with my psychedelic use. The real fun is at when you're just chillin in your apartment contemplating about reality. Mom had a very good trip, lots of healing and clarity. The visuals were so crazy that my entire field of vision was just a fucking kaleidoscope.