somegirl

You're spending way too much time ruminating about this. Sure, you won't die from lack of sex, but seems like you care too much about it till the point of writing a whole thread saying how sex is not important. Kinda contradictory It won't hurt you to have sex, even though it's not the most important thing in life.

Ugh... I wouldn't even say anything about it but I saw her being like "I know I'm pretty" which sounds like she is full of herself. And then 5 minutes later "Um, can you please like my post?".. Like, girl... lool

I'm writing this so people can tell me if I am actually delusional and imagined him liking me, or it was indeed true but he is not man enough to admit it ? I had a feelinf that he has a thing for me for some time now but I didn't say anything. Then one night I went out with a friend to a bar and I saw him. Everything seemed normal until he put his hand on my waist and was kinda trying to get close to me as much as possible. I just remember feeling extremely uncomfortable. In my opinion, a guy doesn't put his hand on a girl's waist unless he has some other motive. It just doesn't seem right and fitting thing to do , especially because we were not close friends either. So I left. The next morning I received a message from his friend (yes) and he told me this guy actually likes me and was hoping that we would make out that night. I said to him that I don't feel the same about him and that I actually had an intuition that he liked me for some time now but now he just confirmed my doubts and assumptions. This rumor started spreading in my college, all my colleagues from my class found out about him liking me. And eventually, he found out that people knew. The Interesting part is - once he found out that others knew about his feelings for me - he got very angry and defensive and told them that they are delusional and that he never liked me. This kind of confused me. Why would he deny that he likes me when he behaved the way he did in the bar? Or was I just imagining everything and my intuition was wrong?

But guys, do you think that it is a possibility that his friend lied? Just to make drama?

I found out that I have some issue within myself that is in desperate need of repair. I have a problem of overthinking. Not only does it ruin my mood, but now I convey the kind of energy that pushes people away. That makes me look calculated and like I have ill-intentions. Which in reality I don't, but since I'm too much in my head, I am overly occupied by my insecurities and worries. I need healing and change from within. From the core. I also have problem with being overly harsh or agressive in some instances. I need healing and change from within. From the core. I need to stop assuming the worst. I need to stop seeing the worst in people. I need to stop thinking everyone hates me. I need to stop thinking I am not good enough. I need to stop thinking I don't deserve great things. I need to stop thinking I am the worst. I need to stop thinking people hate me. I need to stop thinking people have ill-intentions from the get go. I need to stop assuming people hate me the most. I need to stop thinking I am not liked. I am everyone's favorite person in the room. I am love. I radiate love everywhere I go. I show love. I see love everywhere I go. I am enough. I matter. What I say matters. I am loved by people. I see the good in people. I am understanding.

Wait, she has sent you her post and told you to like it? lol How desperate that looks like If she is that pretty, she doesn't need to ask for likes, does she?

He might be lying.

Maybe you are just not aware that you're making someone else's day a little bit brighter.

It's not obvious to me because I had quite a few situations where I thought things were obvious but I was dead wrong. For example, I was almost sure my high school crush also liked me back, given his behaviur towards me, and his best friend was teasing us both too, and when I finally confessed my love to him, he denied that he liked me and ignored me afterwards, which was pretty painful thing to go through at the time. Was also told in elementary school my crush likes me, and again, it was false. So I started doubting my judgement and intuition. This is why I cannot be sure about anything anymore. Got it, but I thought he would stand by his words nevertheless

I don't like his mannerisms mostly. I couldn't find a thing that would make me attracted to him in romantic sense.

I see. I never talked about this with anybody, rumor started spreading from an unknown source. Aw, you figured me out. I am actually pretty cautious with these kind of stuff. I had a few experiences in the past, one in which people from high school were telling me my crush likes me, and I had a feeling he really does like me too, but when I confessed my feelings to him, he denied he liked me and straight up ignored me after that, which was pretty painful. Similar thing happened in elementary school. This is why I cannot be sure anymore.

And he is like 32 y/o. ? I am 22.

✅ Want my bf to appreciate and admire my art and get interested in it, ask me questions about it.

I noticed I get along with people who are leos in zodiac. I get attracted to them easily, a couple of times by now. ✅Want my bf to be leo.

Love guys who are musical. Who play some kind of instrument. Was watching Ukranian Eurovision song, and the singer who raps and plays flute is so attractive to me.

I literally can't control who I get attracted to... Neither can you. And well, there is one guy.

It's not about being wise. It's more about human nature and things that are out of our control, such as who we get attracted to.

I find wheezing so freaking funny. When someone laughs and makes that wheezing sound, I'm dead laughing. lool

Has someone said it to you?

If I had extreme physical reaction to guys rejecting me time and time again, the guys I so desperately wanted to be with in the past, I would not be a sane person anymore lol. Now things are a little different, but even now I thought it would be a lot easier to get a guy I want, now that I'm much more physically attractive and more confident than I ever ever was growing up. Thought I would have to just point my finger to a guy I want and he's mine. But it's a bit more complicated than that. And plus, it seems like I have a thing for guys who do not like me back. Last time I went on a date and after that never heard from him again. So I don't know, you have to not take it personally and like it means anything to your self-worth. That's the most important thing. To keep thinking you're the shit even after rejection. But really believe it. Then things will change eventually.

❤️

Please don't bring your guys feud into my journal.

In a way, she awfully reminds me of myself. But she is more extreme with her way of thinking. Kinda more sensitive and takes things to heart too much and too soon. Jumps to conclusions too. But maybe I'm just really like her. Damn, if I am really like her, I don't like this lol. Seems kinda scary, her ways of thinking and the way she just jumps to conclusions and she is stubborn. Yeah, kinda scary. Don't want that. This is good, in a way that I can see how I am like (or at least one aspect of mt personality I need to work on). ✅ I want to be open minded and not take things to heart and too seriously. ✅ I want to give people benefit of the doubt and not assume the worst from the start ✅ I want friends who will openly communicate with me when there is problem, not run away from me (and/or problem) ✅ I want to control my emotions better

Yes, I don't want to force anybody for any communication. I was even the one who offered to communicate, after eveything she has told me. And she has told me some pretty bad stuff, like the fact that she thinks I have bad and evil intentions towards her lol. I wonder if she's projecting. I was literally in shock but also it was kinda funny how ridiculous that was, that someone would think that of me. Noone has said that about me ever, and I also know myself and know I never wished to screw her over in any way. If she wants to communicate, and this friendship is in desperate need of communication, she can ask me. I won't for sure run after her and beg her. Hope she gets over her ego defenses. She has some very distorted and inaccurate views of things, it got me surprised.. Thank you. This is so true. Couldn't have said it better. I guess we can do something though. Find more mentality and emotionally developed people that match our awareness and ego development and are mature enoguh to communicate when problem pops up. I see, interesting. Might try that. Though I feel like I can't even be fun with this friend. She is way too sensitive, even worse than me lol. She also doesn't get harsh jokes I noticed. Takes everything too personally. So I have to be very careful what i say to her, not to accidentally hurt her. Kinda tiring at times, like, I really restrict myself around her. Cause I know she can't take it.

She has spoken and let it all out on me, everything that is on her heart lol. And brought up situations that happened few months back. She has literally stayed silent this whole time, making me believe everything is fine between us. What is more shocking, and kinda hilarious, is that she has told me that she thinks I have bad/evil intentions towards her. I was literally too stunned when I read that. She, a friend that is supposedly close to me, thinks I have bad intentions towards her?? Like what? Why are you then friends with a person who wishes you bad??? What? And she told me she has a reason to think like that based on few situations that happened in the past (she's very ambiguous and didn't say anything specifically). We supposedly have to talk on Tuesday and sort this all out. Honestly now this is getting critical. We can't function as friends if she honestly thinks I have bad intentions. Why would we be friends then? She has such screwed view of me and my actions. I have literally never thought of ways I can screw her over. Never. I even helped her when she would ask me, even be TOO helpful. I would compliment her. And she tells me I have evil, secret intentions? Oh come on, get out. If we don't resolve THIS specific issue of how she views me, we are officially done. I don't care that we have big celebration going on. This is unacceptable for a friendship. She better have good reasons to explain to me why she thinks the way she does because noone has told that about me EVER. Gosh...