somegirl

@The0Self It's so tricky it seems.

Ah, I love counter-intuitive nature of reality. You are probably right, I will try to apply this piece of info you gave me.

Well this is exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm aware of this and yet I still think of things I don't want to.

@Carl-Richard Thank you. @mandyjw Well, I don't want to give my protagonist a hard time, but as I said, there is "something" in my mind that makes me think of some scary thoughts all of a sudden.

@Moksha Yeah, I know, and 5 Meo-DMT would be of great help too, but I'm asking this question as an ordinary peson. I have not awaken, I am probably not going to anytime soon, I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with a problem, being at this stage in life I already am. Of course awakening is something to pursue, but it's a long way to go.

Yeah, I have strong sense of shoulds and shouldn'ts. So when you say to accept the fear, you mean like give it space in my mind? Let the mind think that thought even though it's scary?

@Thestarguitarist14 Sure, everyone has had bad experiences with opposite gender at some point in their lives, does that make them all the same? No... It's just life. You come across such people, it's just bound to happen. But you shouldn't define the whole gender based on few cases and let it make you bitter. I mean... It "shouldn't", but it's your choice.

@Thestarguitarist14 I sense that you haven't had a very positive experience with the opposite gender.

See, this is bias right there. Who says so? There are dishonest men and women. But there are also honest men and women. Depends on who you came across thus far...

There are women who are honest and dont say cliche things about the kind of guys they want. Women might be biased, but so are guys, when giving advices about this. Honestly I wouldn't know who would know better about what attracts girls than girls themselves, if they are being honest.

Why?

This doesn't sound right. You wouldn't HAVE to do any of it. You would WANT to do it, becauce you like to do stuff for her. That is, when you're really interested in a girl. You're thinking about this in a wrong way. Maybe change your view on relationship and having a girlfriend and things will change.

Well, as a girl, if I were to be fair, I would agree with what Leo said, but partially. I was way more madly in love with the fuckboy who was playing with me and didn't care about me than I am with a guy who goes out of his way for me, respects me and does everything right. The fuckboy was just so mismerising then, he appeared to know what he was doing and was very flirtatious and knew what to say and how to say it and it made him very very attractive and irresistible. Made whole thing exciting. But I thought this was the case because I was younger then. And young girls tend to be attracted to fuckboys a lot often. Then when time passes by, you realize these games they put you through and it doesn't feel great. You feel used and left behind. Disrespected. It took me way more time to get over this guy after, it was pretty rough. But yeah, it's not good to be a fuckboy, or a nice guy. You have to be somewhere in the middle. Make it spicey, stimulate girls emotionally, respect yourself but also be respectful to the girls. Be interesting, don't be "too vanilla" (as Leo said) because, yeah, girls will take it, but it won't keep her for too long, honestly.

Which consequences you have today because of them? It doesn't have to be serious stuff, it can be something that makes your life a little harder than it could have been... Make a list. For me it's definitely the relationship I have about... (Romantic) relationships lol. And everything that comes with it. My parents are overprotective. I think they can't accept the fact that I do have someone now and that I go to their house and do what normal couples do. I think they can't accept that. I think my mom was the happiest when I was single (for the most of my teenage years) because she wouldn't have to worry about me. Because of this I found myself unable to enjoy the process of being with someone in such intimate way, grow up and do what other couples are supposed to do together. They alienited it for me.

Peace of mind. Fullfilling career. Excellent health and energy around me. Exciting life full of insights every day. Adventures. A cool husband I would be proud of who would inspire me and who would also be interested in persuing Truth with me. Awesome friends. Happy and healthy parents.

Basically this. Except I want to still be in touch with family, but not dependent on them financially or any other way

The fact that some people seriously think that someone like him could be the president (given that Trump already is and he has 0 political experience), is both frightening and worrisome. You would let a guy who has no idea how system really works, make decision for you and lead your country? Wouldn't you feel better knowing that someone with experience and knowledge is actually a president of your country? They spent their whole life studying politics, and then some reality star or trendy pop culture figure replaces 35+ years of experience just like that? Leading a country as big as USA is a hell of a responsibility. It requires SOME kind of knowledge, otherwise you risk making millions of people's lives worse. Not only in USA but people from smaller countries suffer too, sooner or later, because of this. Why would you do that? Just outrageous...

Do we feel bad for lying, stealing, killing because we will be judged by the society, or because it just feels bad? What if you and X person are the only people on the world and you kill him. There is noone to judge you. Would you feel bad? If you're not psycho, you would, I assume. But why? My guess is that, by killing someone else, you are also hurting yourself in an indirect way. Because everything is one and everything is connected. That person is you. And you killed him. So you suffer... Only my guess. I'm aware it's not probably that simple, but maybe I'm somewhat closer to the truth

You probably know someone like this. They have no problem finding someone they love, who also loves them back. They met spontaniously in the right place at the right time and everything clicks for them. I mean, when you think about it, there are many variables at play; both parties have to be ready (and not emotionally damaged at that time), they have to be available, they have to attract each other physically, they have to click emotionally and intellectually (to have similar views on life), they have to come from a healthy family, and they have to be in the right place at the right time. When you think about it like this, those people who have luck in love, are actually crazy lucky for having it all work for them. And there are other people who simply cannot find someone they like. I guess the real question I'm really asking is - is it really only luck that is going on here? Since we are creators of our own lives (God), and we create situations and attract people to our lives (most of us do it unconsciously), does it mean that we are the problem that this is happening to us? That it is our fault for not being in the right place at the right time? And if so, how to fix this?

Sure...

She can change, but person can only change so much. Plus, there has to be a strong dedication from her side, which is not easy at all. So it's highly unlikely that it will result in a good relationship. There's a emotional and physical consequence to having sex with one person, let alone 100 of them, as Jordan Peterson suggests. People treat one night stands as something they can handle (some girls) but it does leave a psychological mark in their soul.

@John Doe i think you want to feel more at peace or to better manage so called "negative" or "bad" situations (because there is no such thing in reality, "good" and "bad"). Maybe try to focus on things that make you feel good and happy. And follow people that live life you want to live. And observe what they do, and see their results, and if you like it, then implement that into your life.

He is my colleague from the University. We weren't super close but we knew to joke around with each other and we had a pretty good friendship I would say. I noticed flirting here and there, but I didn't think much into it. I knew he liked me in some way. He would ask me out for a walk or things like that, but he was not consistent with that. I viewed it as friendly invitation to hang out. I was single at the time we talked the most, but 8 months ago I met my current boyfriend. I thought he knew about this boyfriend because I showed him off on social media. This colleague had even sent me a message a week ago with "Hey beautiful" and asking about my summer break etc., I asked him back, and the conversation was pretty normal. Again, having on mind that he knew about my boyfriend. But two days ago this colleague of mine decided to unfollow me from social media without any explanation and would ignore my messages. Later today he replied to my messages saying "We do not know each other anymore." I was rpetty shocked and I've been trying to figure out why is he suddenly cutting me off from his life and not willing to talk to me about it. I can only guess why, but I need other perspectives on this situation. Thanks in advance.

@K Ghoul If that's the case, I struggle to understand how other girls keep friendships with their male friends without it ever becoming something more. Yet again, maybe they struggle as well, since I don't know what's going on in their lives. In my life I have only 2 male friends that I knew since I was 4. And we were always friends and nothing more. Those were the only two people that were male that I was able to only be friends with. As I grow older, it seems kinda impossible to do that. Every other male seems to have "hidden motives" when talking to me

You assume a lot of stuff that was not once mentioned in my original post. I took pictures with my boyfriend on social media and, and this former "friend" of mine follows me on social media platforms and views stuff I post there. He saw an instagram story where I was with my bf. So I thought he came to the conclusion that I am in a relationship. But obviously not. Maybe he had different story in his head. I can't know that. But that would be kinda funny and delusional from his side because everyone else that saw posts with my boyfriend came to the conclusion that I am in a relationship with him. I told my boyfriend about this "friend", so he knows everything. Thanks for your concern. Though, what was done was done, and this ex friend is obviously not my friend anymore And never really was one, which sucks