The0Self

For real! Your trip report is almost verbatim what happens to me on dissociatives, lol. And that didn't always happen! I used to be able to take close to 100mg ketamine and basically just have a fun lucid dream with ego dissolution... Now with probably 50mg it's pretty much literally the end of the universe! Just the infinite matrix of perceptions just fluctuating in absolutely nothing, with no life in it at all, basically exactly like you described. Completely shocking. Disconcerting, even! The "cause" of it seems to be somewhat related to a suppression of memory -- when there's no context, no further context can arise.

I enjoy experimenting with that view as well.

https://livingsupplements.com/

Ah. Well don't fix what ain't broken! I know what you mean about "close to eternal dissolution." I honestly feel like if I were to dose just a bit too high these days -- especially ingesting a dissociative while peaking on a 5ht2a psychedelic -- I would not be coming back.

Supposedly it's more effective about 1.5 inches in, with a total of about 1 ml liquid, so that the anal columns can be soaked -- the place with the highest and fastest absorption rate. But dissociatives are more effectively insufflated, ime. I usually plug psychedelics, even LSD -- not all tryptamines though as they don't seem to be as water soluble as lysergamides and phenethylamines.

No only for maybe 2 hour peak tops, or at any point if I take a few bumps of ketamine. The rest is kind of on the edge of it though so yeah trips are nothing like they used to be, unless I dose low, which just produces a very clear high consciousness state similar to witnessing... but again, the whole trip is sort of right on the edge of that void and subsequent God-realization I described, and it’ll feel like everything including personal will is “God’s breath” or something. And the visuals as well as all the senses are very spacious and paper thin and energetic. Space and time start to collapse at many points and it’s like the universe is creating itself out of pure paradox or something. The distance between my face and hand feels like it could be the diameter of the entire apparent material universe; general weird stuff like that. It’s been over a month so it’s a little hard to remember lol.

Well it’s indescribable, but there’s no separation; perceptions kinda floating in spaciousness without any time carrying something through it; forever disappears (or forever appears; can’t even tell the difference in that “state”), then when I come back down, forever re-appears and its absence is replaced with me. That’s a total story as it’s impossible to describe but yeah basically: the whole of everything becomes apparent, and it’s not moving. ?? lol And yeah I’m sure you could say there are visuals and wacky perceptions, but they have absolutely no meaning at all. No one is experiencing them, which makes it impossible to even remember them they’re so unimportant. Another story: the entire “matrix” of everything is just itself, with no one conscious of it. And cause and effect are apparently so obviously unreal it’s basically impossible to even imagine what cause and effect would mean -- they're simply no longer imagined to be real. When they are no longer imagined to be real... they aren't real. They never were real. Its actually disconcerting. Each time that event is about to happen, each time I dose, I’ve totally forgotten what happened the previous trip, even though “I clearly know what’s about to happen” (I even described it here lol), and then I am alerted to the each-time-forgotten infinite profundity of what’s about to happen, which then vanishes, and all that’s left is everything. And then “I” springs into existence by imagining what it’d be like if it did exist... As if to say, quite literally, "it's Now or Never," lol. I dream up the entire universe... in so doing, God (wholeness or "true" self appearing as me) creates my self and the whole universe timelessly and I “come back” into a “real” body. Again, story, but it sorta goes there.

Almost. Yes, you are God, and dream the entire universe... But there aren’t humans period. It’s not just that there aren’t other humans. There is just no real position (as you say), but an apparently real position may be dreamt in order to experience (just a story; there isn’t actually cause and effect).

@billiesimon It’s as if, on top of that story-less void, sits the mind of God — unknowing knowing the unknowable into existence.

@Heart of Space LOL ? dude!.. I was totally blanking earlier... Now I remember that movie! Yeah, it was a spiritual masterpiece. Perfect allegory of seeking and enlightenment.

So I can now clearly extend my consciousness into a psychedelic state while sober. It's much more clear headed, but it's just it. Follow: What is this? Typing apparently happening? Happening in what? Happening as this. What is this? Time appears -- it's only a thought. What is this? It's everything. Why can't I see it? Oh yeah, who would see everything? It wouldn't be everything if it was seen by someone apart from everything. But I'm seeing it now. Oh wait, it looks like "I'm here," so I must be that someone... who I just determined doesn't exist apart from everything. Oh yeah, this is just what is; there is no where else, there just might be a thought that someone is here in a part of this everything. Here it is: There is only everything -- all times and places, with or without identification thought outcroppings -- these outcroppings are unneeded and imaginary. There's no need for anything to happen. Nothing is moving. This is just all times and places and an apparent person might extend from one of them to find itself. There is only all. Nothing moves. Ever. Again, this is all times and places, stationary. You aren't there, and this isn't moving. Again, this isn't moving. Everything is stationary. It's complete. There's nowhere else. There's nothing in it, or apart from it. This is everything

This is actually somewhat similar to what mine used to be like. Now it’s never anything like that — it’s always oneness; void; God; timelessness; infinite empty stationary appearance; decontextualization; entire universe obviously right here; etc.

The more perfect the pointer, the less it says anything of substance. Here’s about the emptiest possible lol: “Just is, but doesn’t need to be.” Pointless pointer.

No problem! I’d say energy went from a 6-7 (out of 10) average and sometimes a 2, to an 8-9 avg and sometimes a 5. The extremes of tiredness were basically eliminated. And less hallucinations upon going to sleep (narcolepsy). And contemplation became more effective but that could have happened despite the chelation. Its hard to judge before and after. The main thing is I just “felt better” to a degree.

Heart conductivity issues. And eventually on a fast, your blood pressure will crash unless you consume a lot of sodium — which is basically perfectly antagonistic against potassium so you’d just be detracting from what you’re trying to achieve with the sodium.

Right on brother! I’ve never been too isolated from a success mindset, though success hasn’t been a high priority for me, but now...it is.

Ultimately, there’s no observer, nor observed, nor even a process of observation. There’s only what appears, devoid of any value or need.

Psychedelic ego death for me I’d usually describe after the fact as a recontextualization and/or falling-away of all context (including the personal memory bank), associated with all substance abruptly and instantly emptying from what appears, including awareness, meaning, and time, such that there’s just what apparently happens, with nothing in it, and it is what it is, but doesn’t need to be what it is, because there’s no context. As if all there is, is the raw infinite starting empty-but-full canvas of experience, floating in and as emptiness, “prior to” any movement, separation, or fixed position of any kind.

A very special one — subjectivity. It’s not real though, so no it’s not really an object.

^^

However, the subject is actually a kind of object. The question isn’t definitively answerable.

It’d be a story to answer this. Observer is the observed. Except that’s false from a particular perspective. There’s no such thing as a real perspective.

Oh yeah, that's a glimpse. Someone read my mind and gave a trip report? lol That's exactly what happens to "me" on disso's man. Small world .

Preferably to be done on psychedelic, but you can give it a try whenever. Notice apparent time passing. Practice taking a mental snapshot of your moment to moment experience. Not just of vision, but of all 5 senses and mind and the whole shebang exactly as it is. Just take some of these snapshots. Take a snapshot. Ever let go of a helium balloon outside and just watched it just get farther and farther away? Watch that snapshot get farther and farther away. Keep watching it. Imagine hearing the jeopardy theme song playing in your head as you do this.

Call it serendipitous... ? But no, it's not integral.