The0Self

“Am I gay?” = almost certainly not straight. Unless it’s a sort of a mere thought experiment or open-mindedness exercise. Perhaps try gay porn. If that doesn’t work, get your hormones checked — particularly testosterone. Could be a number of things even including low histamine. Or just depression.

The apparent you is doing infinity. But... You doing infinity is being done by infinity. So there’s no one doing anything at all. There’s just infinity: “what is not, but is appearing to be;” what appears to be happening; nothing. If only the sheer magnitude of the beautiful futility could be seen... ?

Someone else and someone here automatically go together like flocks of a feather. And when one falls, so does the other. Ain’t got any clues but two, then BANG, ain’t got any clues at all. Consciousness is a movement towards something else, which doesn’t exist. All-there-is has no need to observe itself. The infinite has no clue about what isn’t infinite. Freedom has no clue about what isn’t free. Causelessness has no clue about what isn’t causeless.

No matter how diligent and earnest the search, the apparent you will always be pulling a fast one on itself. It wants two things exactly equally: 1. its own end, and 2. its continuation at all costs. So it’s merely an empty and paradoxical apparent energetic claim. Even surrender will covertly operate as a way to continue the survival of me (seemingly hiding always-already-only-liberation), as one has to keep doing it (keep on not-doing), so it confirms there is a “one” to surrender. Until the bitter end, me will survive at all costs. In a sense it doesn’t give a fuck about happiness and enlightenment, it only wants to be real and see things separate from it as real. It’s an unbreakable illusion because there’s no illusion to break. To be poetic, the apparent collapse of me seems to be associated with hitting a brick wall of hopeless, helpless futility one too many times, just a bit too hard, waking up what you really are; the sleeper for the time being... nothing being everything (and nothing wakes up so nothing happens). If I could give any tips I’d say just follow what feels good. And explore ways to feel even more joy and goodness via skilled meditation... But I must note: each and every tip given, of any kind at all, just perpetuates the me, which is not wrong, but that’s what it does... And not including that last sentence would be recklessly misleading, from this perception.

Would love to hear reports on this. Especially from those who have experience with at least one of: 5-MeO-DMT, ketamine, God-realization. I will very likely not be using psychedelics anymore, so “I missed out.” If only I got the memo last year ?

Just another way of pointing to this. No more right though.

Many times, and it was quite similar, though really just completely indescribable. Usually with 110ug LSD-25 or 10-25mg 5-MeO-DMT. No insight is more profound than another, because there's only nothing appearing to happen. Knowing existence is the dream. This is beyond existence.

You aren't a being. You're life appearing as a being.

Well since God is neither real nor unreal, there's no exclusively real God to die or not die.

^^^^^

All the me wants is life, which is all there is already. Un-winnable predicament.

100% responsibility = no one left separate from that responsibility to own it. There's already just what's appearing to happen. There aren't two happenings, one where responsibility is embodied and another where it is used. There's just always already what's appearing to be, and no separation from that -- no separation of any kind at all.

"was" "there"

That was precisely the apparent experience that marked the beginning of this character's spiritual path. And then all the appearances collapsed into this blinding white light inhuman being that was nothing being everything and then it was de-personified and with that, even awareness collapsed in on itself -- which was apparently my first glimpse of this.

It ain't logical brother The apparent person thinks that when it dies nothing will happen. But there's already nothing happening. This immediate appearance appears for no reason and has no limit. It doesn't need a history or a goal (or a beginning or an end). There's only nothing (boundlessness) appearing as everything and there's no one separate from it that knows it (so you can't say what it is nor even if there IS an "it"), though knowing can appear but it isn't separate. All there is can't know what is not all there is. There's just all there is, which is what's always already immediately appearing to happen.

All there is is all there is. That recognition equalizes everything to love, so nothing is love. Nothing mattering (everything already being complete/done/not-separate/unconnected) is unconditional love. It's just a word for "all there is." I like "energy" more than "love" simply because it has absolutely nothing to do with what the apparent person thinks love is. The apparent person thinks love is needs-met, but love is actually no-need.

South Carolina, USA

@Blackhawk It seems you've encountered what Jed McKenna calls "taking the first step."

No value. No me to exist or not. There's no way to know that you don't exist, because you are the dream; the knower. i.e. I don't know that there's no me. Liberation has no clue about what isn't liberation. This has no clue what isn't this. Love has no clue what isn't love.

Go for it! Do what you enjoy and love.

That's what's appearing to happen there It's whole and complete.

"Matches" -- Ephixa & Stephen Walking Burn I'm burning in my skin Can't get them out of my head Oh, words These words you said to me, yeah Stop my heart, barely beating And now I'm stuck on the beat I can't sleep through this madness It's madness Tame the fire, suffer to live in the ashes In the ashes That's what happens When gasoline plays with matches That's what happens, happens, happens That's what happens When gasoline plays with matches That's what happens, happens, happens Water I need this like water Surround ourselves in self destruction Self worth Need someone to come reconstruct it You know it, you got it bad And I got it, I got it bad We got it bad And now we're back to that Feeling we never had Just pretend Catalyze my catatonic mind Give it life But until it burns too bright Burns too bright Consume whatever's left inside Under cover of night With her passed out of sight We both knew it wasn't right That's what happens When gasoline plays with matches That's what happens, happens, happens That's what happens When gasoline plays with matches That's what happens, happens, happens When gasoline plays with matches Yeah, yeah, burn And we must wanna be hurt And we must wanna be burned And we must wanna be burned And we must wanna be

@SQAAD See this is how the illusion works. It assumes it is real and might be in a different place when its body dies, thus generating fear of possible suffering after death, therefore confirming it is real. It can be seen by something other than the I that the I is literally only concerned with survival. It prefers endless suffering to death. It's a program though it's not what you are. There isn't actually causality. This is appearing for no reason and the past is only apparent. It's infinite so it's not surprising that it has that ability. Though it is actually kind of shocking. Ordinary though.

That's the only experience the I can have (fearing suffering, loving happiness) in relation to what it actually wants: to stay alive at absolutely all costs, as long as it's in play. In other words it has no idea what it wants. It appears to want to avoid suffering, but it actually only wants to survive. But it's not real anyway -- what is truly longed for, is simply (in-love-ness with) whatever appears to be happening, which is itself the absence of I, which is THIS (all there is). So the I is actually looking for its own end, which is already the case, so the I is artificial. This is home. This is not a case-closed coming from some knowledge of truth, it's just energy.