The0Self

You are reading this sentence right now. You are you. Buddha is Buddha. You are not reading this sentence right now. You are not you. Buddha is not Buddha. It is not possible to speak the truth. It is not possible to speak the untruth. Reality is Reality. Reality is not Reality.

Danger arises out of safety, which arises out of danger. Timelessly. Limitation, journeying, fun, multiplicity, goals... Unconditional Love No stakes; high stakes Inevitable everything The beginning rises from the end, which rises from the beginning. Timelessly.

The story that's not a story: Reality/existence is the polarization of infinite interdependent dualities that have no existence in themselves. Every phenomenon itself arises out of another phenomenon that arises out of the first phenomenon timelessly, which is illogical -- they arise together but they don't actually arise at all -- this non-occurrence applies to every level of reality in infinitely interconnected web-like fashion -- nothing stands on its own -- that is voidness. There is no thing called void -- just boundlessness; unlimited inevitableness; unbounded nothingness; freedom -- not even that. Unconditional Love. It's so not-anything, that it isn't even nothing, so you get this appearance -- everything is not-anything.

In my view: The better the teaching, the more effectively it helps one get closer to seeing everything as a miracle. The best teaching is definitely self love. The best, most effective practices for a novice; the practices with the highest leverage, are probably forgiveness, gratitude, mindfulness, Metta (trains both concentration and love), and self love. The higher the teaching, the more directly it turns one toward truth and unknowing. The highest teachings are Self Love and emptiness. Somewhat to your point though, I don't feel that the highest direct pointings/"teachings" are even really teachings at all, since they don't aim to help anyone -- ultimately, there is no one that could be taught. IME...

One can have a lot of understanding, but what comes out of it into words often just becomes conjecture, if we're honest. For instance, the (very) loaded question, "why is there something rather than nothing?" It can be recognized directly that there is obviously no ultimate limiter on reality -- this is sort of square one. Why can't there be only nothing? Only-nothing would essentially be a thing with limitation, since it can't be everything. Why can't there be only something? Only-something would be a thing with limitation, since it can't be nothing. So there is neither something nor nothing. It seems to be the case that reality is just the infinite everything that is, timelessly, and amazingly, not anything at all. And since every thing depends on every other thing, nothing depends on anything. Everything consequential is inconsequential. And there's no defined existence apart from undefined consciousness; objectivity is subjectivity. But of course if we're honest, that doesn't make sense. It just seems to be the case. The substance of thingness itself depends on perspective. Whatever phenomena arise dependent upon conditions, do not actually arise. What is does not depend on anything; it neither comes nor goes. Everything depends on everything else = nothing depends on anything. There is no ground substance, only unfathomable appearances that don't actually happen. Surface-only; no depth; no self; no thing; no time. There is no substance at all. Bottom line: there's no bottom line.

Resonates with me. Anyone who thinks they can define consciousness is mistaken, as I understand it. Even defining one's current "state" or "level/height/quantity/quality" of consciousness can probably only be approached, say, by giving an example of a construct that intuitively seems to correlate nearly perfectly with it -- for instance, one's ability to see mundane (or otherwise) events as miracles, or one's ability to be grateful for whatever is happening.

Finite = limited; something Infinite = unlimited; everything; no-thing; what is and is not Knowing = duality If there seems to be a knowing of something finite, it isn't the infinite (everything; all there is) actually knowing something finite. It's the infinite simply appearing as finite, not known to anyone. And it's infinite, so there's no purpose behind it (if there were a purpose, that purpose would be it, not behind it, since it's everything), and so it has no need to be or do anything -- it's already everything. It doesn't need to be anything, and yet it is what it is anyway. And by the way, this recognition may seem a bit pedestrian, but when it is seen, it can be quite shocking.

It's actually kind of simple: if the infinite knew the finite, it wouldn't be the infinite, because there'd be something other than it, and infinity is everything.

Constant. And also in sitting practice. I also had previously trained some very stable attention using the TMI system -- had already reached Jhanas 1 and 2 at the time. Just kept resting as awareness which got easier and simpler as I realized anything that appeared wasn't what I was looking for -- I kept attempting to attach to the nonexistent knower, ignoring all experience in the process, leading to a very transcendent state where something quite magical would happen and experience practically flipped inside out.

Infinity is beyond any whys, hows, decisions, or control. It's beyond experience as well. And to God, there is no discrimination or judgement. God "longs-for" the experience of anything and everything, and so that's what God gets.

Sure, but you don’t choose whether it’s seen that way or not. The good news is x. The bad news is also x. Yes.

Well that’s somewhat good to hear. I too hope it continues to heal. The fact that it has gotten less bothersome with time thus far is probably a good sign.

Well, here’s to hoping it goes away in 6 months or so! One of the most annoying symptoms I had was this strange sound that sounded like a dial-up internet connection starting up. And it was only on one side (can’t remember which). The strangest noise. That went away as well.

@Forestluv How long ago was the 5meo retreat? I had symptoms so bad I literally lost the ability to see the color black — black would appear as a brilliant light show, even when I closed my eyes. That lasted about 2 years. It cleared up.

I sometimes do this in meditation to reach samadhi states

I don’t have it in a way that’s bothersome. Everyone can notice the sound of silence if they’ve done enough meditation but that’s probably not what you mean by tinnitus. I can make it very loud and use it as a meditation object, but only if I choose to.

I had visual snow, constant whooshing noise in my head, and trails behind moving objects for almost 2 years after that one trip that put me in a mental hospital for a couple weeks. I got some relief with pregnenolone — it was like cotton balls were taken out of my ears when I took it, and it provided relief for 3 days; clear vision and everything.

This is precisely one of the reasons why taking too much psychedelics at once can either wake you up, or put you in a mental hospital. Imagine the realness dial on that dream being turned up 1000%, and on top of that, your mind is temporarily far more powerful and crafty, boosted by the tool of tapping into infinite intelligence — scenarios can manifest... ANY scenario. As good as possible, and better. And as bad as possible, and worse. The good news is that ALL of it is no more real than it is unreal! And it’s all the absolute. And there’s no real separation between any of it.

By "too far" I mean the point at which you realize: that love doesn't belong to you -- it's all there is, and there's no you. A person doesn't survive the recognition of unconditional love.

The ego doesn't have to strengthen itself if it's not there. Probably why he's seeking ego-death. Maybe he just wants a break? Lol.

I'm not interested in tripping either. I rarely do it these days. If you go "too far," you may realize there's nothing to be done -- everything is already perfection. Whether that'll stop your character from continuing to do what it sees as awakening the species or whatever is completely unknown.

Hmm, maybe increase the dose, change sources, or get LSD-25. Just 110ug (used to require much more; up to 1000ug) of good LSD will get me to such a high state of consciousness that I can barely see the room I'm in, my body feels like it's the size of the universe, and I cannot even remember that I'm a human. Also, quite often, experience inverts -- like I'm God looking in at conscious experience rather than out, from infinity -- I have experienced a similar state just from self inquiry as well.

Are you talking about N,N-DMT? I personally don't find it particularly superior to LSD for spirituality, besides the intensity and immersion of the visuals, maybe. Plus it can be quite enjoyable. LSD is quite sufficient for producing very heavy spiritual experiences -- past life recollections, timelessness, ego-death, etc. 5-MeO-DMT on the other hand is like LSD X 50, but without the visuals. Sort of.

Because there's no bounds; there's just everything. You have no idea how bad it can get out there in the infinite ocean of anarchy-consciousness...

For real. I actually did have to go to a psych ward after a trip, about 5 years ago. Combined way too many psychedelics and dissociatives. I was reckless. It was beyond insanity and I actually still sort of believe I did some real magic type stuff during the experience. Come to think of it though, I didn't even see it as a bad trip. Just pushed it WAY too far, especially for my development at the time. When I use psychedelics, I almost have the mindset of going to war. I would never recommend psychedelics... but in a way, I actually think not taking them can be an even bigger risk.