Epiphany_Inspired

@OnceMore I just thought of something else...I don't know if it will help....but if you can see those things from your past as lessons, struggles that have evolved your being, made you strong, brave, and awesome...then perhaps you can truly put them behind you...to live in, and savour right *now...and dream of your amazing future to come!

@Leo Gura Thanks, I don't disagree....I can take it...though that was a bit wasabi...lol....but fair enough, we must annoy the shit out of you especially after a retreat like that! it's hard for me to perceive that the cool part of my mind, that can magically hear a diverse travelling song in a metronome tick-tock is also my weak, fearful monkey mind...trying to shift that perception...thanks ....action is another issue altogether... I only seem to have discipline for things I enjoy (but it can be an insane amount of dedication if I love it), sometimes they are mind-numbing repetitive things and the enjoyment of the result is enough...my only more extended meditations were *enjoyable (energetic/ visual adventures)...but I can't have only those...so, I'll either have to find a way to perceive the torture type meditation as enjoyable, or perhaps I'll have to trust in the enjoyment I *would feel as the result of more discipline...(in order to access & build my discipline power)...alternately, I could attempt to learn discipline with no enjoyment from it, ever, but that would be the trickiest.... thanks for your tough love (though I prefer the tender sort when possible), and for your guidance

@Sprite You can feel free to PM me too For everyone that experiences this: you have my ear, my respect, my knowledge, etc. Now, before I say how stoked I will be to get this resolved soon in my own life (with a lot of help), and offer my insights...I'd like to empathize... truly. In most areas of actualization we can either take things to our internal battlefield instead, walk away, or set external boundaries, etc. This is the one arena of life, where we become dependant on external authorities to protect us (longing for the days of sword battles...lol). So, here are some personal development things that have helped me: consider this battle = a "threshold guardian" learn everything you can to grow. In a way, you still have to apply Leo's not caring what others think video (to a certain extent, obviously if something is dangerous - heed that). Also, most importantly, stalkers are like other "energy vampires" and we do not want to have them feeding off of us...So, things that help are: acting indifferent, not giving up our power + standing firm in our strength/ power, and drawing in more power from the multi-verse/ trusting in it. Stalkers like the type we are dealing with, that have a manipulative artfulness are the creepiest in my opinion. Get support wherever you can find it, I literally made over 100 calls to get the help I need to resolve this. Get witnesses, (even if it's just to your reaction to the stalking), use whatever means necessary to get "proof" (us, as the sly and clever fox - your image Sprite- can find ways to totally out wit the big bad wolf...the wolf is just full of hot air, and is destined to go down ....in every tale...lol....)...ultimate wishes for your success, escape, or overcoming!

In the tittle are just some of the synonyms for victim. Often they are accurate, that we've been foolish and have not taken proper responsibility for our lives. Especially when victim mentality lingers. Leo's life-changing video on this is incredible! At the same time, I think most of us would agree that while something awful is happening to us (like rape, or beating) that we actually are a victim of a crime at that time (weather we admit it to ourselves, or not). The issue is: victimization is often not a one time thing, stalking is a good example. It can pull a survivor, surpassing victimhood in again, and again, repeatedly. Our culture also has "victim blaming" (where other's say the behaviour was provoked, imagined, or lesser). Additionally, our culture has many extreme bias, such as favouritism for helping victims of direct physical assault, or an unwillingness to listen to or support, etc If one wants to take control of their life, and, if it seems like, they have to involve police, or lawyers, etc to so, that they must be in victim mentality. The police don't have "survivors services", they have "victim services" and lawyers can only seem to help the most victim-eee-est victims... this seems quite in-integral to me. How do those on a path of truth function in this conflicting culture? Are there other alternatives, or at these times, do we have to show off our peacock tails of victim-ness to create positive change in our lives?

As you can tell by my forum name...I am still at the inspired stage (for so long, I know)...not the action stage...despite knowing my purpose...(it's bullshit, I know)....i'm giving myself a deadline to get on this (end of September)...and will change my forum name (in the end only I can hold myself accountable, but you are welcome to give me shit if I take too long)...here's something I found- Matthew Green: Inspiration vs Action Definition of inspiration a : a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation b : the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions Definition of action a : a thing done b : the accomplishment of a thing usually over a period of time, in stages, or with the possibility of repetition Inspiration is a beautiful thing that drives an actionable item. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of inspiration and lose the concept of action. We have to remember to follow through with our ideas. Even if that idea is a failure. Failures are lessons that allow us to create better ideas built off of past experiences. Then we use that as inspiration to start another action. Don’t get caught up in la la land craving inspiration, but scared to take action. At the end of the day it’s an endless cycle and within that cycle there are parts that are harder than others. Things take time and it’s important to remember that while in this process. Inspiration is the fuel that powers actions! Your action can be the inspiration that fuels someone else.

@Dantas Thanks, you are super rad!

@Mike Bison I love Leo's answer....For me it's easiest to think of that type of all encompassing consciousness as vibration/ energy.

For anyone else that is dealing with this, I've realized it's the same with all choices in life, the decision should come from a place of love, not a place of fear...and that the choice that makes you feel most alive, and on track with your journey, is best!

Obviously, the ability to transcend the influence of emotional triggers, or toxic people in a given location is character building and empowering...but, is moving away instead, actually healthier/ more helpful in propelling actualization...or is it just escape? I love my home, when people suggest I move because of trauma here, my response is usually that I would never let another's actions influence my ability to love my home and connect with nature here. For example, I can now wear a big brass and abalone belt buckle that I was beaten with as a child like a badge of my strength and resilience, and fucking love it! Overcoming issues, or energy with a location or object is do-able for me, but it's also labour intensive and time consuming. Does this type of work help with personal development/ is it important, or is it more beneficial to make a bold fresh change? I recently went on a short trip to a magical place I spent a lot of time at in my youth. I had the idea that I should move there and even looked at places for sale. Then I began to question WHY I was looking, is this escape or distraction? If I am settled in a sacred forest, is it in my best interest to stay. How would I discern? Also, I may not be "able" to move, despite it being a short drive and boat ride away...because I have a child, and there is another parent (regardless of their toxicity). First, discern if this move is right for me, then, trust in the universe....lol... Is there a way to find out if a location is more or less dysfunctional than your current one, without going by other people's perceptions alone? For example, can you find out that type of information in the form of statistics? Thanks!

Thanks so much for you responses everybody! @Leo Gura Are you saying time alone "cures" over-creativity in meditation? For example, with a metronome, my mind can't help but hear songs form between/ using the beats (like hearing songs in my windshield wipers, raindrops, cat's thumping tail, etc). Silly question, but can this damage/ supress my creativity long-term? Sorry Leo, I actually have an irrational fear of meditation, I realized that it stemmed from meditation trauma when I was 12. My mom had meditation CD's, I though it must be cool...for some reason thought it was something to listen to in the bath, fell asleep, and almost drowned...I'm always thinking, ridiculously & without warrant, that meditation may be harming me...lol...

This thread tittle made me think of life as a buffet. Imagine standing there with your plate, what could you choose? Do you go to the un-healthy habits section, or chose some goals, values, etc instead...do you add the consciousness sprinkles, or choose slathering in chimpy dressings and syrups...lol....

HIGHER-SELF!!! The most productive, powerful & positive experiences I've had with affirmation/ visualization all surrounded higher-self (with affirmations it's very important to only say things you could actually believe). Visualize living your life as your higher-self (how would it be different)...mostly focus on internal, rather than external...

I can tell you some things that help me determine....for the most part I am generally open-minded, but I often really suck too.... there are times when my limiting beliefs trick me into thinking I'm open when I'm not, or, make my beliefs seem like serious values that "justify" excluding alternatives...here's what helps me: with other people...I have to actually fully embody being in another's shoes...I should be able to fully imagine myself AS them... seriously trying to think and feel through their lenses, while trying to ignore all of mine....when it comes to internal thoughts, it's similar...even when you want to dismiss something, you have to force yourself to consider it...it's helpful to really go outside of the box to accomplish this....

@Jone Yes and no to the like-minded. So far, I'm much more of a homesteader than a nomad (I like to grow food, etc)...but I am in Canada one of your adventure spots, and I too like alternative development. I've had friends hike the Camino (it always seems to be life changing or illuminating)...and I honestly think the reason for that is a combination of 3 things: 1. belief in it, because it's worked for others 2. the magic of the geography 3. the mind set for the commitment/ undertaking.....have an amazing adventure, and keep in touch, I'd love to hear what insights you discover....the only suggestion I have is to also consider internal adventures that expand consciousness without going anywhere too....ultimate wishes!

@OnceMore This may be super dysfunctional / delusional, but it's worked for me, and could maybe help you in this scenario. Do you have a powerful imagination? Ok, perfect: Go get a tin of good strong natural peppermints, or ginger-mints (chalky ones, not sugary ones), and make a new label for the tin that says "bravery mints" or "warning, extremely potent courage tablets" (lol)...then as you attach the new label with packing tape, close your eyes for a moment, and bring down bravery from the multi-verse above (perhaps Zeus throws a lightning bolt of *courage-power* into the mints)...then, whenever you have to step into one of those situations/ conversations you will "have the power" (like he-man, lol) Eventually you don't need the mints... to be more extroverted self-trusting/respecting etc.....best wishes!

I could answer in four words "SAVOUR THE PRESENT MOMENT" Have you ever remembered a movie as "amazing" only to watch it later, and find it's just "ok? This is how the past can work on us, like a fantasy...in fact all you are doing is missing out on the beauty of right now...and it's awesome!!!...today, and tomorrow, and so on, are anything you want to make of them....if only you are willing to dream ...instead of re-living the past, maybe use it as a springboard for things you love, and jump even higher into the now! don't get me wrong, I still do it too....so guilty....I still listen to the same music, I'm super nostalgic....I wonder what if I'd never left my rad fiddler boyfriend and Halifax to come back to BC and get run over twice by a delivery truck?....the key thing there was the "what if" ....what if's are only helpful if positive and forward facing...what if I start working on my life purpose project right now? what if I try that other thing that I've always wanted to do? etc...what if's for dreaming of awesome new possibilities, are rad....watch out for them with worst cases, or re-living the past....having gratitude about the great things you have now really helps!....would you consider making some new even more sparkly, more golden, golden-years starting right now? I will, let's both live now!

@OnceMore My opinion is that you must determine the reason behind your explanations, are they to clear up a mis-communication, or are you reacting, and being defensive....trying to justify yourself to others? Example: I had an issue with a couple/ former friends... in that case, their constant need for explanations, constant harsh criticisms based on inaccurate assumptions (stemming from their projections), etc...became a real integrity issue for me. So, I had to give them up as friends. I know who I am, I know my own truth! .....Now, this is not always the case, or necessary....First, do you feel the need to be "defensive" because of their judgement?, or your own?...in other incidents with other people, I have been "defensive" because of self-judgement, and only realized later that I was the one really wanting to "explain" to justify things to myself....explaining is only worthwhile if it can actually help to clear up miscommunication, etc....so, it's really important to be totally self-honest in these situations....Here are some things to think about that might help. Imagine you are about to start "explanations": 1. Do I truly feel they are just misunderstanding me (my choice, etc), that they will get it, if I explain? 2. If I re-word/ explain my choice in a new way, what are the *actual* chances this will clear things up? 3. What is my history with this person, do they ever really "get" my explanations? 4. Why do I want to give an explanation, for me, or for them? 5. How can I respond, simply, and briefly with compassion and positivity, while standing firmly in my integrity?

@Violet I assumed you posted this because you watched Leo's new loneliness video...but assumptions are shitty...so, in case you haven't, the beginning of the video talks about this...as an INFJ personality type myself, I have always had this habit of observing things people do not wish to have seen by others on the surface...so, I can relate...here are some things I've discovered: 1. You mentioned control...you can only control yourself/ your own life...others can wallow is shit, like a chimpy-pig, if they choose... 2. The aggressiveness you spoke of...it's your truth...and you like to be blunt....I get it....sometimes people really need a wake-up call (like someone that's been burning their face with cigarette butts, and never looking in the mirror)...it's my take, that it's ok to hold up that mirror...but only if it's done with love and compassion (others on the forum will disagree and say "lead by example only")....that type of compassion will take discipline, and a full embrace of love, but... we can learn... maybe ask if they want your advice, then maybe word it in the form of a question..."would you consider"?...rather than "you need to fucking _______, for fuck sakes"...lol.... 3. RE: Tolerating chimpish behaviour...it seems to be a stage in actualization for many of us....as you transcend more behaviours yourself, they become more obvious and disturbing in others....Leo's new video says spending more time in solitude is the way, plus other things like that (see video)....personally, I find that on the rare occasions I can find some more likeminded/ conscious souls to hang with, there's less chimpy stuff to advise on, fret about, deal with...it's awesome!

@Siim Land Yeah, what you said about memory attachment is so true!... memory attachment was 1/2 my problem, the other 1/2 was "potentially useful someday"....when I would go through things to discard, in the past, both of these blocks would get in the way, constantly. With the possibly useful things, my mind got too involved: "how much would it cost to replace this_____if I need to", "I am likely to need these 3 spare _______ my current one could rust/ break/ etc... someday", "this is valuable", etc... and when I came across things associated with a memory, I would not part with them for fear of loosing that connection....what you said is right, it's in our consciousness, not the object...plus, we now know memory is cellular too.... my logic was both bullshit, and irrelevant, because the past is for learning from more than just remembering ...lol....

I just finished the audio book: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo....her clients have found life-purpose, peace, joy, direction, mental clarity, overcoming issues and blocks, etc after completing the process of putting their houses in order, with no relapses to a cluttered home (or mind, lol...) yet, ever! I did a post way back about my minimalism vs consumption, and loved the post and video on the forum Via Negativa by @Siim Land . I believe Leo's response was to elevate the mind first.. which may work for some...but my collections of clothes, records, books, etc are pretty extreme....This book says the opposite, home disorder is a hidden tactic to distract the mind (Likely why I visually *need* some clutter)... some of the methods in Via Negativa also contradict this Japanese method (such as packing "maybe keep" items away for a bit). The main lesson from Marie Kondo is to pick up EVERY item in your home, in one streak (as long as it takes with your available time) and ask "does this spark joy"? I can't believe it...I've been struggling to chip away at my collections of crap for years....and this one simple question has allowed me to discard way more things, super easily. I wish I knew this years ago! There is an order to the items to go through, starting with clothing, and ending with sentimental things like photos (check the book)...and only after all of this, you find a special "home" for everything. I love how much respect she has for the objects that we keep, their energy, how to treat them, give them time off, etc it's beautiful... Amazing concept! Hope this helps any other clutter junkies out there too!

@MoneyTime , I think @Shin is right...my idea will likely improve things...but there is likely a deeper root cause that you will have to deal with eventually...that said, there are more neuro-transmitters in your gut than your other head-brain....and it's a good choice to start by fixing your gut...if you don't have access to a zen master...there may be other holistic treatment options to help you find the root causes....if you make the effort....

@Sevi That's awesome! Good for you! It was a weird synchronicity, I picked the book at the library after just learning about Rahu and Ketu....the snakes and ladders like head and tail of the dragon of the universe....apparently in order to feast on the abundance of the universe (dragon head), one must release (dragon butt/ crap) physical and mental things, to allow in the new....it made sense....and I have been working on the mental/ emotional release...while lacking in the physical letting go....the book was perfect...I hadn't heard of Joe Dispenza, but what he says also makes total sense, thanks!

Google has tons of links to ways that meditation can invoke and improve creativity...it's supposed to be great for this, re-wiring your brain into a more creative mind...but I see NO links on *how to supress creativity to calm your mind*.... For example, I can't even focus on an imagined orange, without it animating, zooming into pores...eventually it would start rolling down things... turn into a dodge ball game with elves, or an edible orange airship, etc...this is creative, but likely just as monkey-mind-distracting as not concentrating on an orange at all....Is it possible to be too distractedly creative to ever meditate successfully? If it is possible, how do you block creativity to meditate and concentrate?

@Nahm I really feel I have worked hard, and have let go...but I will consider it again deeply....my issue is that the other parent is not something I can let go of completely in the physical sense, we share a child...but, I can potentially put a bit more physical distance between me and his behaviour....If I move there, I could potentially have a physical space with more freedom, less concern about interaction (planned visits, or bumping into), etc....there is also the possibility this could offer more community , culture, connection, and motivation....or it could just be another distraction...wish I knew....

@TJ Reeves Thanks so much, that's a really good way to think about it. The problems are external, but they are made worse by the internal *anti-harmonics* they produce. Although I am particularly susceptible to the impact, I'm certain, any reasonably conscious person would also be quite impacted by these externals. That said, I can't deny the internal concern, or place it completely on the shoulders of the external.... Those conventions sound awesome! I'm stoked for you! I'm not into living in big cities anymore, but I do love visiting them for amazing events! I'm considering going somewhere that is in many ways smaller, not bigger...with a population of 10,000 it's 7x bigger than the 1,500 population here...but adds a boat ride to the 350,000 city nearby, and it's 2 boat rides to the nearby 2 million people, big city. If I move it would be for the community, the creative culture and because it's a spiritual center (Dali Lama thinks so too)/ it's generally more open-minded and free. That said, small places often have more dysfunction and less opportunity...also when it's a boat ride to get somewhere...I probably wouldn't leave...that said, the caliber and type of events in this creative/ spiritual community totally suit me...so who knows...I just get more, and more, confused daily, trying to decide rationally....how do I determine if my journey requires external work?