Human Mint

Basically, the fact that this generation (in some countrys countrys btw) live among advanced technology and such complex systems like healthcare and food industry is thanks to the efforts of previous generations. We do have thing so much easier. And we definetly outgrow the previous generation in the sense that we have a more greenish vision of the world. I see it like It is a generation that is inclined towards contributing to mankind in a more genuine and loving way (neohippie?), while the previous one is bussy creating enemies all over the place: in the world, in the workplace, with the neighbourds, etc. Which i believe was useful in the survival sense but definetly it is a mindset full of negativity and practically zero hope that doesn't fit well whith today's stuff. Wich is awfull because a lot of profound and beautiful vision that i had were obscured by that shity mindset of some adults. Through osmosis so to speak.

The big question is what things he went through to get to this point? The only way he found to receive love? The thing of course is that he wasn't really happy before... people frame it in the contrary way. But how can you wilingly mess up your diet this much i don't get it. Again, probably he wasn't happy at all with his previous lifestyle. A lot of lying to himself and that shit maybe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVF46bq-mHI He's quite self aware anyways on what he's doing. So my guess is that, if he doesn't kill himself by a health issue, then he is gonna pass through this eventually

I very resonate with that. The core of self-actualization.

I would make a big soup that lasts an entire week. It consists of 3 major ingredients: vegetables (ones preference), a whole grain (like whole rice) and a legume (eg lentil). It takes you one and a half hour but is just one day. Mine usually lasts 5 days before is gone. This is an example of a soup that looks delicious.

A lot of anger arose these days, such anger. I hope it is for the better. I don't harm anybody, and that's something i am really proud of. Although nobody really likes when you are with that anger, it's authentic in a way. I don't particularly want to infuse fear. And what amazes me is that people do not always fear rage. It's a signal for the close ones to step in with authenticity. An evolving process. What teaching does emerge in the middle of all this? Simply to trust more emotions. For me, that's intuition. It is different from trusting other people words, and to rely on them. It's better to rely in one's emotion, feel them. Logic is not more precise than feeling. Even when feeling emotions means to punch a wall.

Orange-Green quite equally, like two starts orbiting each other

Consider a seeing terapist, it may be really helpful. Just the action to walk to his/hers studio surely will be a chain effect for change. You don't need to forget about women, in fact probably you won't even if you try. You just need to focus in the self-relationship work, alone, plus an external output for you to practice in real time your self-love actitude. An external output like being in a social environment. New people, a refreshing environment, where you don't judge yourself. Forget about this and move on. I do know how difficult and blocking it can be, that's why you chose and actitude of self-love where you digest those things. And try again.

Very intelligent

I want a lot of things but results doesn't come the way i would like. I am not putting the proper amount of effort. That's clear. I am tired of dead ends though, that's why much often i give up activities that will technically improve my life. I need proper questions for guidance. I need to take so much more action so then i can contemplate againg, deeper, receiving a genuine juice. God dammit. I am tired of not having the consistency to discover things thanks to my efforts, savoring the growth. This is a damn orange thing. It's a great blockage. I am not giving up the thing i first posted though. That's the real shit. You know, fixing diet, sleep, socialize more, etc. The well known "failing and trying again" mechanics. It's difficult when you come from a place of lots of addictions. Gaining momentun requires good work: strategy + action. LP: I really engage with it when i do sit down and work on it. That's a good sign.

https://soundcloud.com/siroseinana/jumping-clouds?si=8debe0eedd0e41bda530245012ca6584

Huge addiction backlash on sunday, smoked almost a bundle of cigarettes and drank a lot of coffee. Today i am doing pretty well though, meaning i feel good... More clearminded for some reason.

Same

Usually I use VPN for gaming purposes and I do not deactivate it to enter the forum

Maybe your antenna is damaged?...

Meditation quotes.

4 am currently, but my goal is 12 pm to 7,7:30 am

@Bojan You say this because it is difficult that your family respects your desitions? Yes, you may be playing the victim, but anything that is weakening you just drop it here. You certainly can draw boundaries with your family members. If not, what else would you do? Just think about the things that you can do to actualize your life. Forget about the impossibilities. Good look.

Yesterday i downloaded "lmms", a program similar to fl studio but it's free code. It has all you need to work with plugins and samples -midi-. https://soundcloud.com/siroseinana/jumping-clouds This is the second track i made. I plan to do much more. Basically having in mind something that i would like to do musically and then trying to acomplish it. This song was fun to do. The only thing that keeps me from doing amazing music is laziness.

Genre: doomcore https://everynoise.com/engenremap-doomcore.html this is pretty cyberpunk