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I experiences something very similar but it's 4 years now :9 It was unbearable at times. I thought that she might be perfect only in my imagination. I had to verify that so I contacted her.. and the worst part: she really is. Even though I was never rejected by her (it was the opposite!) it's still painful. I guess in your case it's not just imagination or one sided thing.

I find out annoying when someone tries to motivate me. It doesn't feel genuine. If something is worth doing there is no need for motivation. As mentioned before. Psychodelics and suffering are the best motivation for this work.

@Kamran You can always fly out of your body when there is a lot of energy released. It happenned to me few times during kriya practice (stretching) that I have blacked out and have fallen on the ground or even hit my head against the wardrobe. It's always good to have safe environment.

I found that technique myself and it happened to me few times to experience an inner explosion. It was pleasant and felt healing. Just be sure that you will not hit your head against something (it's rather unlikely when you are sitting cross-legged). You shouldn't be worried about that.

@Hello from Russia Smaller mass means that it takes less time to grow to full size => less time to accumulate any pollution. Sardines and mackerels aren't more expensive than meat. You can eat them instead of using fish oil capsules. Flax has ALA which isn't an alternative for fish oil.

@Leo Gura What about sardines? - They are smaller so they accumulate less crap - You are eating a whole thing. Sardines contain a lot of selenium which blocks absorption of mercury - Fish contain much more Carnosine meat - it to removes plaque from brain - Fish also contains omega 3 fats which is good because I helps to maintain proper omega 6/3 ratio. Also my impression is that people living near sea / on islands are often living longer. It seems that replacing meat with fish might be a good idea.

@Arthur Thank you for your response! You answered all my questions perfectly My last trip was less unpleasant than my first proper 5 meo DMT trip. I might be contradicting myself but I even had some desire to trip again same day. In my case it might be better to wait another week to. Integrate properly. I was a little afraid that the entire existence is made of suffering ;]

After 10 days I forced myself to trip again. This time it was more pleasent, probably stronger (same dose but probably better vaping technique) and definitely more energetically cleansing. How many trips do I need to finally stop being anxious using 5 meo? How many trips it takes until they actually become pleasent? They rather remind me my worst nightmares. I just wished that I never existed. Is existence a never ending hell or it's rather heaven? It feels like hell to me, but maybe it's just because of my ego refusing to let go.

I highly recommend Anthony de Mello's book Awareness. It's great!! You can probably listen to an audiobook on YouTube.

@Proserpina Imagine a person that you really want. I don't mean physical looks, but what kind of person they are. How it feels to be around them. There is that warm, sweet feeling while being around or chatting with TF.

You are not.

@Keyhole The mistake that OP made was acting too fast and too intensely. Maybe she is attracted but she had to cut him off because she was already getting into relationship. Being attracted is a good reason to act this way, because it's thretening her relationship. She was forced to make a decision. I think Twin Flame term isn't entirely true as anything else. We are constructing our reality and unconsciously attract people that match us. If we are interested in procreation we find a partner who we can have kids with etc. If we are developed enough (heart chakra awakening??) we might attract TF. TF is a person we can love unconditionally. I suspect that we always get what we really want. Sometimes we want stupid things and we also get them.

Luckily there is no heart to be broken

In instruction video it wasn't explained that to have 20 mg you need to use two 20 mg scoops. Because of that dosing might be confusing at first. My guess is that a lot of people post that they used 60 mg, but in reality it was only 30 mg. Still it's better to underdose than overdose

Google "how to plug psychedelics"

I'm instantly getting hungry when stressed (I have always been very lean). Consciousness level is definitely related to hunger. Are you getting super skinny? There is nothing wrong with eating one meal a day. This is my goal, for now I'm trying to stick to eating only twice a day. Just make sure that your are eating nutritious food. Smoothies aren't the best idea. You are destroying fiber (not always but often) this way and increasing glycemic index.

Wanting to get girls is ego based. I wish you luck with shredding your ego.

Stupid question. Do you eat whole thing or make an extract?

@Leo Gura The question that should be rather asked: is it better to have one hour trip or four that lasts 15 minutes? Long trip gives more time for contemplation but many short trips may create more efficient "energy pathways" by pushing energy many times - like daily practice of pranayama.

@Javfly33 What was wrong about smoking / vaping? I tried plugging first l, despite high dose It was short and weak. Vaping was super fast acting, it kicked me directly into nothingness. I didn't have time to be scared. I won't lie, it was an eternal nightmare Maybe it was a mistake that I had my eyes closed all the time. I like that vaping requires less preparation than plugging. Long process only make me more anxious.

LSD analog is enough for the beginning. I checked both vendors (for 1p-lsd and 5 meo dmt), sadly they do not ship to Sweden. 5 meo DMT is illegal in Sweden. If you want to order something check opinions on trustpilot and reddit.

It wasn't 27 mg, it was half of that amount. As far as I know 9 mg scoop weight 4,5 mg because of low density / gaps between crystals. That's how Leo is dosing in his instruction and my scale confirms it. I also did one scoop few days earlier and it was stronger than two. First batch was very weak, I guess I just wasted it entirely. I see that it's a little bit tricky to inhale everything. You need to start inhaling at right moment, than inhale long enough and keeps it quite long (till it's quite uncomfortable). This trip wasn't as profound as 5HTP + 100 ug LSD used rectally. 5 meo DMT totally destroyed my reality. With LSD I was just on the edge and it was better for contemplation. I would say that vaped 5 meo DMT is a lesser psychodelic 8) 8) 8) but this form is extremly convinient for grounding in consciousness work - it takes less time and effort, it also feels healthier so you can do it every week.

Wow, wow, wow! I just had my biggest realization! I'm an idiot ;D I did two hits with vape pen. First was two 9 mg scoops which I wasted because of not keeping air long enough. 15 minutes later I did another hit but with three scoops. There is nothing is nothing there and there is nothing is there nothing there is nowhere there is and so on. This is the best description what was happening. I see that I'm wasting my life on stupid repettive patterns and I'm stuck in place. By withholding love I live a loveless life.

Somehow I red that (; You have to learn that you can't talk about anything without consequences. My family isn't low consciousness but I see if a certain topic is threatening to someone's ego they will react at least with some passive aggression. Another thing is that if you do something controversial (like using mushrooms) they will often assume that it is causing your wrong behavior. You have to learn how to balance sharing information but conflict is sometimes a good thing.

You can meet 2nd trier people everywhere. There are no social circles for 2nd tier (or at least I'm not aware) because even yellow is too rare. The most important thing is being able to spot someone. Yellow is often hard to destinguish for people in 1st tier. Just by being higher in spiral makes it easier to identify them. 2nd tier might be less sociable because they might see social interactions as a waste of time. I suspect that yellow might have also narrower social circles because they care less about social status. Yellow tend to gravitate to less mainstream activities.