John

Hey, this seems really cool man. Just wanted to send some support from a fellow survivor! Have you ever tried meditating? You have probably read about it somewhere on this forum already or from Leo. I would recommend John Kabat Zinn's Mindfulness meditation CD to start with. Specifically the body scan meditation (this is only my experience, if you can find another resource cheaper or free, by all means do). It might help you to see when those negative loops start to bring you back down again and give you a chance to fight back against them. All the best to you brother!

Hey folks, I recently finished the Power of Now and A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I was fascinated by both. They gave me a really good understanding of and conceptual framework for my meditation work. Specifically, the Pain Body and how it repeats itself over and over in consciousness. And the traits to be wary of with regards to the ego. How we might rid ourselves of these burdens. I really want to pursue this further now, could anyone recommend some books? Anything to do with the following: A history of the ego, when it started in humans, why, how, etc.. Consciousness itself, how human beings relate to it.. Thanks in advance, John

@Czarkovsky Century of the self is an absolutely crucial one! It will most likely lead you down the Adam Curtis rabbit hole of films as well, all of which are amazing. They give a very clear insight into the some of the big players in Capitalism and more importantly their ideology. Even if you think you know this stuff already, you won't regret giving these a watch.

Wow, thanks guys. Perhaps my question stems from a fear that unless I consciously feel this 'stillness' and ground myself in it, I remain vulnerable to falling down one of the egos many rabbit holes and not being able to find my way back, getting stuck in it's stories and beliefs..

Hey, I started using the techniques from Becoming a Supple Leopard a few months ago and haven't looked back since. The sheer amount of information in it is overwhelming at first and that might be where your falling down. I have two recommendations: 1) The fundamental movement of Supple Leopard, is the air squat. Go to that section of the book and see if you can perform the squat as shown. If not, (you most likely won't be able to) you will be able to see where you are failing and this will tell you what areas you need to start stretching and foam rolling first. The better you get at this squat the more your body will start to correct itself as muscles that were dormant become active and correct posture and muscles that were tight become loose and less prone to injury. 2)You said you have knee pain. There is a concept in the book called upstream down stream. Knee pain means your calves (downstream of the painful area) are tight and your it band, hamstring, and hips (upstream of the area) are tight. Start stretching and foam rolling the shit out of these areas as described in the book! I'm no physiotherapist, and am still an MWoD noob, but I hope some of that helps!

A New Earth is a really good follow up to the Power of Now. It deals more with the kind of thing you are talking about but in broader terms than individual people. Would highly recommend it!