Hey Moksha!
What I mean to say is that I logically don't understand how just sitting down and looking at reality as purely as possible can lead to a different state of consciousness. Say, am I meant to just sit there with the same emptiness for many months until one day I get a eureka moment out of nowhere? Because if I spend half an hour a day or an hour, it doesn't feel like anything is actually being revealed to me. I don't have a single reference as to how it feels to awaken in the slightest, so the more I do the practice, the more sceptical I feel about it. Maybe I don't believe it is really possible deep down and that stops me.
Don't know if that makes sense? When I do other things, my concept of progress is very different. For instance, when I learned to swim, even though I wasn't fully confident in swimming myself, I still knew I was improving. Whereas, in these practices, I feel like after dozens of hours so far, it just feels the same as when I started, just silence and staring into space.