The observer

You're right. Again, the validity of thoughts is irrelevant to us here. It's about recognition of thoughts as thoughts, not as true or false. The sunset you've witnessed is irrelevant to the stories you tell about it. The former is actual, while the latter is conceptual/virtual. Of course, I could tell true or false stories about that beautiful sunset. That does not change the sunset itself. The stories are irrelevant to the actual sunset. That's the key point. Of course. When we need to be practical in the real world, we use logic and maths as a tool. That's beneficial, wonderful. Yet, notice how the mind tends to overuse logic and make it universal. The mind goes on to apply logic onto everything. But logic is limited and cannot be used everywhere. For example; How do you explain emotions rationally? A "chemicals in the brain" narrative can be practical and can be of value. Yet, how does the phenomenon occur, I mean like really, really how? How is it possible for "chemicals in the brain" to exist in the first place? And how is it possible that there are correlations between the chemicals and perception? Why are there correlations? How does "matter" affect perception? Is it really logical? Or do we merely think so to demystifiy reality?

It is, and it does. Yet, the mind assumes/believes that logic is all there is and that it is the most accurate tool for describing reality. Logic is not false. Nobody is saying that. Of course, it has a certain value. Yet, it has certain limitations. The ultimate realisations are not in the domain of logic. They're beyond it. They're post-rational.

Nobody can make sense of this at all anyways. It's completely nonsensical. Yet, it is true. This is exactly what I'm trying to say. Making sense is a recognition that occurs within the mind. It is a function of the mind. However, Truth is beyond the mind. Beautiful sunsets are beyond the mind. Love is beyond the mind. How is being alive here as a human being sensical? Does it really make sense? Do you not wonder how it is even possible to exist in the first place? Notice, the mind will come up with all sorts of stories and explanations for why things are the way they are. The mind will say; well, I'm a human being because I was born when a man and a woman had an intercourse so the sperm did penetrate the ovum and then I was a fetus and then I came into this world and grew up until now. Whether this story or any other is true or not is not in our interest here. We're not trying to track the sequence of events that happened to the body from the moment of conception until now. It's an irrelevant story. A red herring that keeps the mind from seeing the actual thing; that it is a red herring! To distract you from what? From being without a thought. From living without a story. From feeling the present moment; from seeing things for what they actually are. As I said, Love is a very advanced realisation. So, don't beat yourself up for not being able to see it for now. Right now, I'd focus more on Absolute Truth. Love will come afterwards.

Are they really? Or do you think (imagine) they are? There's a huge difference here. When you were a child and before you learned that there are rules, were you not able to relate to others? When you're discussing which food you like best, is logic necessary? When you feel hungry, how is logic related to that feeling? I'm not saying that you should close your mind or shut your eyes off to what you've learned so far. Knowledge is very important. It is valuable, so of course, you should keep it. Yet, it can hinder your ability to understand the most fundamental aspects of reality. For now, try to recognise that the things you've learned are not necessarily how reality actually is ultimately. This is not about denying logic. It's about seeing through it. It's about seeing logic for what it is. Take a careful closer look. What is logic? That is a good question to have a go at. Notice how quick the mind works. There are subtle assumptions that go unnoticed in the process. That's what meditation is for. It helps you slow down the thoughts so that you can process each one of them individually. Notice; 1 (thought) + (thought) 1 (thought) = (thought) 2 (thought) These thoughts occur seamlessly within the mind so quick that it's very difficult to be able to notice them. Why did we as children struggle with learning maths at first? Because it's a very complicated process that involves a complex of thoughts/assumptions. When these assumptions are made and after a while of using them in the real world, the mind forgets and takes for granted that that's how reality is, not how it learned to think it is. Notice that. And of course, I'm not claiming that 1+1=2 is false. I'm trying to point out how this process occurs. Even the conclusion: "I think its there even if didn't thought of them or try to prove them" is a thought. Again, not necessarily false. But just a thought (as underlined). It is thought/believed by you that that's how reality is. Without/before that thought/belief, what is reality?

@zeroISinfinity ?

@tsuki Because duality = non-duality and God = the devil. Most spiritual people follow the dogma that God is pure awareness and that awareness is all there is. While that view is factually true from a certain perspective, it still dismisses thought entirely and therefore causes trouble accessing the biggest picture understanding. To solve this problem, one must realise that awareness = thought and thought = awareness. These two are not separate, neither opposites. They're, loosely speaking, two different forms of one thing. Thoughts create awareness. And awareness creates thoughts. They give birth to each other all the time. It's one exquisite example of yin-yang embodiment. Back to the question: what is the reason for seeking? The reason is that because seeking is the ultimate nature of reality. There cannot be reality without seeking just as much as there cannot be God without a devil. Reality is seeking precisely because it's lacking/incomplete. Even though it is also complete from another perspective. Seeking vs. Being is one dynamic/duality. Separation vs. Unity is another. From whichever point of view you choose to look at either dualities, it's still completely valid. The ultimate reality is not just being or unity. Being and unity are partially true. Seeking and separation are the other half of the truth. But Part vs. Whole is a duality, and therefore either dualities are not only partially true but also completely true at the same time. The ultimate reality is non-dual, and it is dual as well at the same time. Without this understanding, there will remain a shadow and it will remain demonised. Not that that's bad or evil or anything, but that it's bugging you

Yes. Consciousness is not the same as awareness. A human being or an animal has awareness. A rock does not. Pretty obvious stuff. Consciousness is not necessarily aware. It can have zero to infinite awareness. For better inquiry, try to not use these pointers as truths. They serve a purpose to illustrate certain aspects and qualities of reality but all of them are ultimately limited. They cannot capture the essence of reality itself just as much as I cannot capture a beautiful sunset with words.

How? I could give you the answer, but it probably wouldn't penetrate. There is genuine curiosity here with this question. I love that! Yet, notice how the mind is conditioned to make conclusions based on prior experiences (memories). Notice how the following assumptions create confusion: These are all good assumptions to have when conducting an experiment or an investigation on the personal level. These are stories and knowledge acquired by the mind through experiences on a timeline of seemingly consistent reality. That's fine. Having these assumptions can be helpful in many situations. Yet, when you are inquiring into the nature of reality looking for the ultimate answers, I find it way more helpful to go meta on all the assumptions/mental constructs. Notice how the mind assumes that if reality is "this" then it "should" or "shouldn't" be "that". I want you to see first that whether you think reality is nothing or something or everything or anything in between is irrelevant to what reality actually is. Consider the sunset analogy in my previous post. Reality is itself. The labels are fine as pointers if not confused for the actual thing. This confusion between thought and reality often causes trouble. Can you accept that if reality was "something" then there's no should statements for how it can be "something else"? After all, who sets the rules? If logic is a mental construct gained from a personal experience over a particular timeline, then how would you know logic is fundamentally true at all times? ( even though dreams prove it to be otherwise/fluid/changing). Also, how would you know that logic existed before you were born? Before the big bang? Etc.. Why would reality be logical? For God's sake, how's reality logical?! How's existence logical?! The beautiful feeling of wonder shows that there's something more to reality than just dumb logic. There is a mystery. Reality is mystical. How can reality even be?! Keep at it. Keep wondering. The answer is under your nose. Notice these are just thoughts. Drop them and come be in touch with reality. Let go of the stories. And come observe the sunset!

Love your attitude! 1- Have you noticed that consistency and logic are not inherent features of this dream? Furthermore, have you noticed that these things don't exist unless you think of them? You might say that your direct experience says otherwise. Cool. Try to explain how it's so without using thoughts. Can you? That's how you imagine reality. Without imagination (i.e. awareness and not consciousness), you wouldn't know whether you're alive or existing or not. 2- Imagine a scenario where you've witnessed a beautiful sunset. After a few hours, you go on telling that story to some of your friends. The telling of the story is equivalent to the thoughts in your mind. The thoughts in your mind about reality are not what reality is. What is reality? If it clicks, then you will see that reality is just itself. All labels are mere pointers and they're fundamentally irrelevant. So, in a sense, you're on point here. The substance of reality is completely unknown, but it is experienced, lived, being made aware of, etc... (stories/pointers). 3- The answer to this question is very advanced. It is Infinite Love. But you probably have a distorted concept of that, which is not your fault. None of us knew without inquiring deeply using the question "why?" with genuine curiosity. I'd focus more on meditation and being able to see the thoughts from a detached position. The rest will unfold naturally.

Need to apply more awareness and concentration to the practice. Mindfulness.

im gonna attempt to use the least amount of words during the rest of the quarantine for as long as it lasts i will try to stop posting on any where or message any one electronically too and i will also try to be more aware and enjoy the silent spaces in the mind without going in to monkey mind and unnecessary looping thought patterns. i guess theres no better way to make use of the quarantine than this journaling here once a day to track consistency and for motivation and its okay to use the other journal as an emotional outlet the challenge starts tomorrow

Just read two threads on here by accident. I'm feeling ugh. I don't know anything.

What is Actualized.org? It's a philosophy; i.e. A particular set or system of beliefs resulting from the search for knowledge about life and the universe. That's what it actually is. Leo is somehow explicit and at the same time so much implicit about it. He says that his ultimate goal with this work is to understand reality. Well, according to the definition above, understanding reality is nothing but philosophy. Now, there's no wonder why many people (including me) find themselves lacking results while following Actualized.org. And then, of course, there's the life purpose course. The ultimate saver. So clever! Reeling in the intellectual type of people and seducing them to buy the LP course. Going further; Leo's philosophy is based on three major principles (philosophies); Cynicism; survival is the main and only driver for all of human activities. Idealism; everything is a thought. Solipsism; only you exist. That being said, it's probably time to move on. You want results? You're not going to get them by philosophising. Even if you stop playing these philosophical games. As long as you're listening to Leo and/or interacting with others on the forum (or anywhere) who share the same mindsets, you're still going to be stuck. Ideas don't just affect you on the conscious level. Your subconscious mind naturally imitates its environment. The people you surround yourself with affect you more than you notice. Ideas affect you more than you notice. Learn how to control the stream of information that you're intaking. You might believe that you belong somewhere. But that's a false, limiting belief. You can belong anywhere. It's just a matter of time needed to adjust and accommodate. Nothing Leo says is actually false. Nothing anyone says is actually false. Everything has some truth to it from a certain perspective, because everything is Truth. Conclusions: The silence challenge is the best thing I've ever done in my entire life. Will keep doing it. I'm not going to be partaking with this forum anymore. I'll start using it for journaling only. I'm not going to create threads, or bother explaining this to anyone. Maybe I am wrong, or maybe Leo is just unaware. Besides, I would certainly receive a lot of hate for trying to share my perspective, and I could get banned. It's strange how I was not able to see all that with such clarity before!

Yesterday was good. I noticed that I was doing the challenge in a neurotic way before so this time I was more relaxed. I did not monitor everything but I have decreased unnecessary blabber for more than 75%. I'm going to continue with the challenge this way.

The forum is becoming more masculine. In less than one day, two soft feminine people (one male and one female) left, and two others (also one male and one female) who I don't know well are manifesting masculine energy. At least the ones I've noticed. Anyway, I'm not judging. All is well. Just making observations and wishing good luck for everyone. Better yet, perhaps I could use some more masculinity. Also, Leo and the mods are getting more strict about the rules. The forum is now moving towards a certain direction instead of just flowing. I wonder what that direction will be. Love everything. Flow. Grow infinitely.

Teaching and learning are illusory. Whaaaaaat?! What is the essence of the teacher-student dynamic? It is a strive towards an ideal. A neglecting of the present moment and a seeking of actualising some imagination (which occurs in the present moment ?). The foolish mind thinks/believes that it's teaching/learning anything. Poor little mind. Things will happen when they happens, with love. There is no ideal to seek! The present moment is the ideal! Because it is love. Don't forget, or do. The truth is the truth. Remembrance won't change anything about it. There is no past. Only imagination of a past. There is no future. Only mental images of ideals to strive towards. There is no time. The present moment is all there is. This communication will not help you get it, neither prove anything to you, even though it's absolutely true. If you get it, you get it. This communication will only give you an ideal to strive towards, which is still the present moment itself, only you will not be able to see it and therefore you will keep chasing your own tail, forgetting the ride by focusing on the destination. You will get there. You're just afraid you won't. Your mind is telling you stories for how things should be. Your mind is telling you stories. The truth is prior to stories. That's not even exclusive to God. The mind is actually incapable of learning/teaching anything/anyone. The mind isn't the medium for learning. It is just an imaginary controller. Direction. A block of the stream. Resistance. Then how does learning occur? Love. Nothing else. Your understanding is only as deep as your love. Infinite Love = Infinite Wisdom.

The truth hurts yo. You only know it is the truth because it does hurt. Lies have no power. They can't hurt you because you know they're not true. The truth destroys the lies you've been holding on to, and shattering the illusion is never an easy thing. But, the truth heals you on the long term. The pain is a sign of growth. While lies keep you stuck in an illusory comfort that doesn't grow you, neither heal you. Be strong. Acknowledge the pain. Own it. Salvation is on the way. Infinite Love it is. Truth.

Here we go again.. This time, I will only monitor my voluntary conversations. Anything else is allowed. Tomorrow, I will report.

Beautiful!

You know what? Fuck being scientific and objective. I feel dissociated and not like myself anymore. I can't stand it any longer. I'll just be me.

The observer woke up a few hours ago from the worst nightmare. He can't remember anything else about it except that it's the worst. He has been trying to sleep again but he could not. His third eye is pulsating like crazy. He feels like he's carrying the weight of other people's struggles and he's grateful for that. He wants to help humanity move into the light with his infinite love. He's willing to take all the negatives and turns them into positives for others to enjoy their lives. To him, it's pointless to enjoy his life alone. He's now writing this from memory because he lost internet connection the first time and the browser forgot what he wrote. He felt frustrated and didn't want to write about it again but now he did. He's planning to start operating from silence tomorrow or the day after that. His PC needs maintenance and he has to go and check. He's going out walking/meditating for a couple of hours in a few minutes. That's his portal to God where there's only light with no dark.

You are not awareness. Awareness is a thought. Who is aware of it?

@Artaemis Your comments are lovely The scary one though?

Most illnesses have mortality rates of lower than 1% out of all closed cases (deaths + recovered). Right now, not all the confirmed cases are closed so it's not possible to give an accurate mortality rate. Right now, over 3 million people have been confirmed infected, and out of those there is still nearly two million people worldwide that have the virus active. The current mortality rate can be measured by dividing the deaths by the sum of deaths and recovered cases. 217K (deaths) ÷ 1144K (deaths + recovered) = 0.189 = 19% That is an extremely high mortality rate. Things don't seem to be going anywhere good either. There are currently over 30 subtypes of the virus due to the mutations that occured while it has been spreading. Fear is not the solution, obviously. But social distancing might be. It's a life and death issue, there are no jokes about it. It should be treated like the AIDS and the Ebola viruses. Let's stop thinking about conspiracies for now and survive the pandemic first, and then afterwards we can investigate and see what we can do about it.

@hikmatshiraliyev If you have energy and motivation for studying, then why not? A lot of people have motivation problems, so be grateful if you don't. You don't need to follow a robotic plan for you to be balanced. Instead, follow your inner guidance. If you don't feel comfortable doing something 'not so much productive' or something 'not aligned with your goals and values', then don't do it. It's that simple. However, if the feeling of anxiety and stress arises merely due to the fact of not having a clear plan in place, then try out planning your next few days by the minute and see how it turns out. There's no definitive answer to this question that anyone could give you but yourself.