Nathalie

@carlo don't give up, please, I'm sure you're on your way. If you think it may help, go to a doctor.. It's often a good solution to speak to a neutral person.. You also can care for yourself as you do for people you love. Make yourself compliments and little gifts. Smile at yourself when you see your face in the mirror Make your everyday life enjoyable as much as you can.. Do only things that you (at least) can accept.. Do everything that may show you that you are worth it. I know this as well and I can assure you that it's a really good feeling when it lessens and finally vanishes Wish you the best..

@electroBeam first of all, love yourself .. It doesn't seem that you do.. So how can you expect others to do if you signalize you aren't "lovable"? So, concentrate in your "positive sides", make honest compliments to yourself whenever it fits and forgive yourself each time you think you've made an error.. Because it's ok.. It's always ok, take care for yourself as a good mother would for her child. Don't punish but take yourself in the arms, whenever you need it. Meditation helps a lot to recognize your inner self (that not differs from the others) and you will socialize naturally, without any efforts, even without trying to => because if you love and forgive yourself, you will also love and forgive the others and they will too.. Nobody is perfect and people who try to always fail and become boring.. Make so much mistake you can, learn to laugh about them, don't take it seriously and enjoy your life

@AverageMonkey ok.. and how could we help you? What would be good for you? Imagine you have 3 wishes.. Perhaps it's realisable? Besides, just another thing that helps me a lot in "bad" situations, it's to remember not to try to avoid them but accept them fully, to go through the feelings, where do you feel it ? in your stomac? In your heard? In your throat? Is it warm, cold? It's pure energy without the story behind

I can understand you really good until this phrase.. Do you need energy in order to meditate ? For me it's quite the opposite.. It use to give me some instead.. Therefore the next questions : Do you enjoy the meditation(s) you make ? Do you always practice the same one ? You could try guided meditations for example, maybe it's even more relaxing after hard work ? Another point is : what are you doing, instead of meditating, to relaxe? Sport? Going out in the nature? I actually think that your inner and outer state are interdependent: .. I don't know, but for me it's always easier to work from the inside.. Change my point of view, my position.. Your job is miserable? Anyway, you can focus on the positive sides and have so much good times meanwhile and after your work, can't you? Maybe it doesnt last long and you have the opportunity to a better one.. Things change sometimes very fast.. Not to meditate doesn't automatically lead to bad mood or depression.. It depends much more of your habits and attitude.

It's really interesting.. Can it be that your mind state is different when you're in holiday? Maybe you're not so needy to find someone because everything around you is new and exciting? Suddenly you feel much better because of using all your senses (looking around, smelling the parfum of the air, feeling the sun and the wind etc..) Can it be that you are much more attractive when you feel good? It seems obvious doesn't it? I think women "smell" when a man is needy and it keeps them away.. So perhaps you first should love yourself more ? And in the second place try to make your day more interesting, a little like in holiday, have fun for yourself ? It has its own dynamic.. the most you care for yourself, the most you are able to give others (without expecting anything) and the more you attract other people.. even if you don't need it anymore.. or just because of that? Conclusion: love yourself and try to be as present as possible in order to make your life more exciting, at least it's what I would do.. nothing to lose, right ? I wish you a lot of great experiences

@pixelwave Become clear what you want, so you can explain it to her, tell her how you feel and ask her how she sees the whole issue with you, with her friend.. Everething can be possible, including that she only told you she's in a relationship.. just to protect herself? You will never know it, if you aren't honnest with yourself and with her.. What would you lose in the worst case? Do you want to live in a dream? How long will it last? Where will it end?

@Will Bigger We can interpret a lot.. but nobody knows. A lot of religions and beliefs have been offered to make you go the way they want to.. But what if we decide that it doesn't really matter at the moment and enjoy the life the way it is? What if life is just an opportunity to experiment a wonderful dream? I think being aware of the death is important in order to live fully, but aren't we missing the point by philosophize about it? @Mulky Is it possible that you ask yourself this kind of questions so loud that you don't hear the little inner voice which would tell you, how to love the present moment.. Just the present moment without purpose, just love, just live, just appreciate every day as if it was the last?

Elton has already said what I mean too.. I would just like to add or to ask if you enjoy doing the the "good habits" you have adopted ? I think it's an important point because it's like when you decide to eat healthier and you don't like the food you've imposed yourself.. You'll quite it soon. Do only "good" thing you really enjoy.. It's much easier

First: you're very welcome and yes, I know this feeling.. But isn't it worth to go through this emotion anstead avoiding it because of some kind of hidden anxieties? Maybe, by staying fully present with you and your surrounding, you'll discover something really profound in you. Ok, you may say those are only words.. but I mean it seriously.. You may get your the best insights going through bad feelings. At least it's the experience I often make. What makes you feel like a crazy ? Your thoughts? If you stop by and watch them and return to the present moment, they lose their power and you become more personal developed, is it worth it? And if you need a rest from observing, you have enough ideas now, right ?

For me it means to become aware of the nature, to acknoledge and apreciate it, by using all your senses. I hope, it doesn't seem to naif but everything you enjoy becomes a kind of friend. Maybe you've already realized how whole you feel when you have the possibility to love ? In nature you can love everything with no risk to be challenged or disappointed You can give it a try and listen to the birds, the water, smell the flowers, particulary in the evening after a hot day.. or the fresh cut gras, look at the sky and how the clouds move, feel the sun and the wind on your skin and the groud under your feed.. Of course you can't do it all at once, it would be to much, just be alert when you go out.. You of course also can meditate in the nature or/and make a subject of it.. But it only my point of view.. Maybe it's already answered with all you can do in nature? If I were you, I would make a list of all the things I would like to do, playing an instrument? making more sport? reading books ? Learn new things ? But why are you so afraid of being alone? Is it because of what you thing about it ? Maybe it's not so bad after all just to face it ? Maybe it's also a good opportunity to meditate about it ?

@bracovI don't think that one have to follow a general rule that says if that.. than that.. Reading your words it seems to me, it's better you still meet the guys arround you, you can surely enjoy their presence without letting them drag you down, right? Maybe, you can try to see them as a mirror, reflecting the parts of yourself that you ignore or can't accept, you can observe what happens in you, while interacting with your friends.. (it's what I use to do when I feel challenged) In my point of view it isn't that important what they do or say, until a certain point, but much more what you make of it.. Of course I don't want to estimate and I either can't know at which level of consciousness you are.. But maybe you have enough awareness in you so you can appreciate their company by looking at them more than judging them.. And even personally develop thanks to them?

@foninja I thing this too and would like to add: be fully concentrated in what you are doing, so your presence would let your thoughts (which are generally the source of moods) flow away. So you can do what you do (without following your thoughts) and it becomes at the same time more profound and the result is much better. In short: A strong awareness in why and in what you are doing. I remember Eckart Tolle said something like: You have to be passionate, joyful by what ever you are doing or at least able to accept it (hope it's your case )

Surely right.. And what do you do ? Or suggest ? I've just seen this.. Could it be an answer ?

I think already have made a great leap.. and if you stay in touch with your feeling and possibly discover them through meditation and observing while living your everyday life, you will surely learn a lot about yourself and accept all your emotions as a wonderful part of you. So you would be leaded automatically to where you don't flip out anymore because you will (or already are?) able to recognize and acknoledge what arises and therefore to handle it kindly I could also recommend you this video from Matt kahn

@mikeyy I would like to answer you with the experience I've made in the morning: I was really grateful that I already found 30 minutes for a meditation so early, so I decided to sit down, to relaxe, just be silent and to acknoledge the calm arround me.. Then, after a few minutes the bell rang, so I stand up and opened the door.. F??!.. it was the chimney swipper, well.. I let him in and leave him alone for his work on the second floor. I decided to proceed with the meditation ( I still had 20 minutes or so). Now it wasn't calm anymore, so I focused on the noice in the chimney and somehow it became a cleaning of myself.. It was as if his brush went through me and made space in my chest and my belly.. For what? I thought.. and simultaneously came: it doesn't matter, Next question that came up: I wunder what kind of mess will emerge followed by the same answer: it doesn't matter.. A little later it was hammering in the chimney (in me?) Does he make place for something?.. It doesn't matter.. How ever, a little later, I finished it and I felt surprisingly calm and joyful, and the following hours, till now, energized and loving.. So I don't want to interpret all this here, but I let me ask you: Did I meditate wrong? Should I have done something else? Was it useless? Or isn't it exactly that, what makes meditations so enjoyable? In my opinion, you can't make anything wrong, you just have to look at what comes up, sometimes it's magic, sometimes not, sometimes you get an answer for a question, even if you never asked before and sometimes it makes space for new ways.. Even if you just become aware, at the beginning, by observing your thoughts, that they have no sense, you win a lot because it allows you to disidentify with them... Just don't let your mind make a prison with rigid parameters, imposing what should or shouldn't happen, but surrounder Maybe the key is to listen and appreciate even "little" insights in order to encourage your innerself to speak with you oftener and louder..

Thank you .. It goes directly to the heard.. you make the colours and the forms sing like a blackbird.. (don't know if this makes sense.. )

against the "ego", which seems to become a kind of winged word here in the community, in order to express a bad part of ourself that we have to get rid of.. Maybe I've misunderstood a lot of posts ? I think it's easy to fall in this trap because, after remarking that we aren't the victim of other people (which are no enemy, but a kind of mirror) there's a sort of lack what needs to be filled and so the same patter arises and one becomes a victim of his ego instead of the others, the economy or what ever.. So the ego is no enemy either, it's just a part of everyone what needs to be used in a right way.. that's all.. It's like a tool.. and it can be a real good tool if one use it in an effective way. Who would begin a fight against a hammer? But it's good to get aware of the fact that there is something above the "normal" half sleepy, half automatic state, but the ego isn't guilty. We have to nourish our consciousness with awareness instead of trying to fight what ever.. .. I just needed to write it.. Don't know really why..

A really powerful video.. Thank you for sharing.. Maybe it helps some of us to be more confident and the others less judgemental

You're welcome Maybe this is much much better as "to know", if you can relaxe, it opens lots of new opportunities, doens't it?

if it's the only tool you have you can't use another one.. It's logical, I can understand i, even if I think it's a little sad.. Perhaps I underwent the process too, allthough I didn't really realized it..? You mean something like an inner "cold war" that leads you possibly to the insight that it makes no sense, so you can finally drop it?

@Huz88 I also still keeping my fingers crossed for you and hoping it helps somehow

@Rasfen Everybody tries to feel save, that's why so many people needs so much money, insurances, family, friends etc.. If I understand you rightly, you're looking inside yourself to find security? In my opinion it's a big step because with this decision you've also chosen to take the responsiblity of your life But, what if there are either "gold feelings" nor "mess feelings" ? I'm not sure but I think if you want to get rid of anxiety by creating a feeling of savety, it could end like a dog running after his tail. I mean, in my opinion, it's a kind of fake because a part of you will stay aware of the fact that you do all this efforts to avoid fear and therefore you won't feel really save.. So.. what if you just accept your feelings..? Forgetting the story that feeds your anxiety, just feeling it in your body and nothing more, knowingly that it's ok to feel no matter what you feel when you feel it.. At least it's the way I'm going and I just can recommand it because I feel really alive like this, it seems authentic and paradoxically fearless to me..

I don't think so, they surely have physical, and some times genetic roots too.. It often seems to be a mix of psychological, physical and environmental matters.. You can feel compassion through your own experiences, I mean you "know" how it is because you already underwent this kind of feelings, some say it comes from our "mirror neurons" . It doesn't imply that you become offend by verbal attacks, but this requires mental work, not in order to become hart => it never really works. You can observe it deeply: What offends me? Why? Is it -partly- true what they say ? Did I try to hide it? Even for myself? Am I open enough to considere every possibility? Do I cramp myself by hearing "insults"? How does it feel like? Where is it in my body? Am I even able to be grateful for the opportunity to grow by hearing any attack and use them for myself? Besides, emotional intelligent people would never insult anybody.. Don't you think so? How do you feel ? That's the bar set and your measure to find out if you need to be improved. What's the standard? I don't know.. I never cared... I hope it helps..

First of all, thanks a lot for your comments.. they use to be so insightful and inspiring could you tell more about those languages?

You don't really want to be "normal" do you? Personally, I don't know anything which is more boring than a "normal life".. It's the best way to depression.. Go your own way.. even doing nothing seems to be a better solution in my point of view..