Cireeric

Yes, sometimes I question my integrity there too. I would guess im quite above the median in empathy but I dont really feel the present tragedy of the world in my day to day experience that much, despite being well cognitively aware of it by watching tons of hours of Daniel Schmachtenberger.

I dont think I have anywhere near enough insight into your experience or understanding of your inner-workings to really make a good judgement. But do you experienced happiness for a reasonable amount of time and really made the observation that you will loose your drive or ambition? Also I seem to be working very different, since I rather think the opposite way like I need to be reasonably happy to be effective. I am more confident when im happy, I show up more when Im happy, I have more motivation when Im happy. Overall I also hold the belief that more wholeness equals increased agency. I have no experience with what is conventional therapy, but the forms of therapy I studied and tried to apply on myself: CBT, IFS, WuWeiWisdom all seemed to increase my general happiness and my soverignty or agency in life. But I assume that compared to you I may give myself more time not hustling and just enjoying life, but still compared to most of my friends I am very "tryhard" and they sometimes tell me not to be that hard on myself. If you aim for that David Goggins or Elon Musk type of performance and ambition, yes I can imagine that this really doesnt come from wholeness, but rather from being hunted by demons or childhood-trauma.

@Javfly33 Very well written and inspiring post and especially timely for me , since I just started a yoga practice 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I tried a small dose of Malt and done my yoga exercises, inspired by this thread. Amazing experience and it showed me some of the things u mentioned here. I already noticed that I feel better and more aware with my body. I started my practice based on the book: Kokoro Yoga by Mark Divine. Do you have ressources u would recommand to learn the fundamentals?

Just watched this episode yesterday. I found his approach more interesting than expected. Although I disagree with some of his dispositions I like how radically he pursues his vision and making his life this big experimental project. Haha, quite accurate

Anthony Bourdains Parts Unknown is amazing. One of the best TV-shows ever. The show is about travel and food but has deep dives into the cultures too + Anthonys comments are hilarious, deep and intelligent. This is not just good entertainment I learned a lot about different countries and cultures by watching.

No, "everythingness" is not in duality with nothingness. "Existence and nonexistence are incompatible. The difficult and the easy are mutually opposed. The long and the short, the high and the low, the lod and soft, the before and the after- are all opposites. Each reveals the other." from the Tao Te Ching But in a sense everything is nothingness, but not in a dual relationship like long and short.

Seek out some therapy. You CAN get better. It is sometimes difficult to imagine in a depressed/trauma state, but life can totally turn around for you and healing is possible. You will look back at this time and be grateful that youve stood strong, because there is a lot of possible enjoyment of life ahead.

Wow, deep insights! This trip-report almost seems like the polar-opposite to some of Leos trip reports. I wonder if this is due to the nature of ayahuasca or the more feminine relationship to the divine (intuitively it feels like that). Feels refreshing to hear from deep states of consciousness that dont go into solipsistic: "only my POV is true", but into humility and appreciating the POV of other finite parts of god.

Mindfulness in Plain is a very good and practical primer on basic mindfluness meditation, but you can already go quite deep with it. MTCTB from Daniel Ingram is the most comprehensive, in-depth about meditation I know of and he also maps out the deeper meditation territory. I also really like A Path with Heart from Jack Kornfield for its grounded, commonsensical, loving approach.

Very nice!

You made me curious

I generally agree with you on that. This mindset is also very helpful for most trips and nowadays with more reasonable safe dosing I get into trips much more calm and confident with relatively the same attitude. The problem was that at some point in the trip my whole worldview + any capacity for sober thought was gone. I was well read in spiritual literature, safe tripping guides and also practiced meditation but at some point all that stuff flew out of the window and I was in pure crazyland realizing I couldnt possibly prepare for that.

Sometimes you see only in retrospect how significantly some of Leos concepts shaped you and how accurate and important they were for shaping the direction of your life. The False Skepticism or how I also often call it Premature Skepticism thing is huge! All the time, but especially talking with people at university I see how so many valuable ideas that can benefit your life in tremendous ways get critisized and dismissed in a second. You bring up MTBI: thats not accurate, there is inconsistency in the model, not scientific. Jordan Peterson: you cant watch him: sexist, right-wing ideologue. Any Self-Help content: all bullshit, only capitalism and marketing. Spiritual content: All BS; bringing up examples of predatory gurus. It is almost like an search algorithm looking for any problem with it as an excuse to dismiss it entirely that starts to come online as soon as it not fits the consensus narrative. So much value lost. Throwing out the baby with the bathwater on important topics like spirituality. Because there are plenty examples of scams, predatory gurus or cults spirituality gets dismissed entirely and must all be bullshit. Thats such an big trap for many people. That thing can fof uck up whole lifes honestly.

Yes on my most intense LSD trip which I consider was very dangerous in retrospect there came a point in the trip where I was/felt like Im in some different dimension purely of mind. At one point things got so weird that I was thinking that this cant happen in a human body on a trip I probably left my body already and Im probably dead only traveling through this mind space endlessly; pure horror in this moment. I came back into my body after some time but everything felt fake, I had profound derealisation symptons, no emotions attached to this reality and being skeptical that any of this is real; bein with my friends and doubting they are even real. I was so happy that a sense of reality and belonging slowly came back in the next hours. Im much more careful with LSD now. That trip also opened me to the possibility that this probably could happen - that the real mind of you just leaves off into another dimension and traveling there not coming back - but it seems like this still isnt a thing that really happens for people but more a paranoia and people get back after getting sober again.

Yes! This sense of learning from partially wrong perspectives is entirely lost in this phenomenon. I often had the situation that I mention something and then the first thing people do is open wikipedia and if there is any mentioning, that this is in any way controversial it is enough evidence to dismiss it entirely.

Nice, that it reasonated with you. Yes this makes it even more tragic when you can sense that stuff like meditation, yoga, self-help or some spirituality could help them. There is constrained ego/identity which wants to defend itself against new information that could break open that contraint. When you think about in this way the journalism that shows the exploitation of the guru isnt really the thing that stops people doing some meditation but serves as an rationalization for the constrained ego to maintain its status quo, but it also helps to hold that limited identity without questioning it.

I tested it and had some great social experiences with it. But I didnt found the right dosage yet. I also noticed that it is probably better for me to do it max 1 time a week. What is the right dosage for you? I tested 400 mg and the first dosage was quite intense, almost MDMA-like with a long peak. The next dosaes already felt weaker.

Nice, I really like this approach to nootropics and supplements, that you can use it in a sense to expand your identity, experience new ways of being and integrate them into yourself over time. Especially if you have a high body awareness/good presence via meditation techniques you can notice even more subtle substances like Ashwagandha or Tongkat very noticably and have novel experiences of Self. You just need to be careful not bullshitting yourself and rationalizing drug-abuse Gonna experiment with phenibut a bit.

Do you think you can do it in a way so you get long term benefits in being socially attuned and more confident over time by having these experiences and experiencing your Self in that way of being, that can get ingrained or do you think it becomes short-term and you could even become dependent on it and even less confident without? Was thinking about experimenting with phenibut for a while now but had these concerns, probably gonna test it for myself but would be interesting to hear your perspective on that.

I think most girls just hide it better publicly and once they get comfortable with you and you get to know each other in that context you see that they are all very sexual too.

Honestly this isnt in any way a reasonable or responsible approach. You could do a lot of exploration and would go deeper over time by more trips on same dosing and if you want to increase you can go up in small steps.

Great share! Didnt knew this one, seems very promising from my first impression. But I probably need to be in the right mood to really give it a listen. These two probably were my albums of the year and both were pretty new territory genre-wise for me. There is something very exciting, innovative and fresh in both of them for me.

Wouldnt recommend trying this. What do you want to accomplish? Start low and slowly increase your dosing, you will get into challenging and disorienting territory quite fast.