DizIzMikey

@Galyna Thank you for your advice <3

I know everything!

@Pinocchio Truth be told I enjoy sitting around doing nothing closing my eyes...it is such a relaxing state versus being active doing shit

lmao

Nah this cant be true reality.. if this is the answer.. I'm so sick of this shit.... It has to get deeper I don't wanna end with fucking I DONT KNOW....it's tormenting

Skyrim is the shit right now due to the lack of knowledge I have currently maybe.

@Pinocchio Sounds like conditional love

@shouldnt Don't regret it, I feel like you had to say it...of course I live in a world of uncertainty myself I don't know the best advice but I can give some 1. Quit drinking because in the long run it will fuck you up 2. After you are done fucking your roomie, determine whether the ride was worth it, basically DOES THE PAIN AFTERWARDS JUSTIFY THE JOY? The joy should outweigh the pain marginally Was it worth it? 3. If you need to talk to someone who cares message me, I naturally have an affinity for those who seem to be helpless, I probably have a psychological disorder of some sort so take heed if you so choose to message me. 4. Don't worry about the friends things, you're not alone I have a shit time making friends 5. Fuck what anyone says if they are trying to call you pathetic, that makes them pathetic themselves. If god exists, than may he/she or whatever it is bless you Of course if god is benevolent

Lets just say... all is one, and so if all is one..uuuhhh.... All is me so whoever I woo woo is me no matter what So I wouldnt be cheating on my wife if I woo woo someone else because thats me no matter where I go, and her too! No one has a lady! Sorry.. been in the brain for the longest time I had to do it!!! P.S. Cannot "cheat" on her, wouldnt do it.

You know... The creation of death doesnt sound too godly Nor does rape or murder, hurting eachother Stomach aches or pussy farts.. decaying flesh The abonimation of a thought which was hitler? Do you really think the true god would create such a universe where pain and suffering is even just an illusion? This universe with words to me would be more closely related to Satan if anything. Who else would create such a hell hole that has endless possibilities of illusionary torment? God the nothingness you say? What if enlightenment is just another trap of Satan??? What if the darkness around us is just a bottle were trapped in contained by Satan? I do not think the true god would contain any kind of illusionary suffering in his realm, but than again... I might be wrong.

Decided to start another journal since my original journal wasn't in the lost and found Today I'll be just sharing some lyrics after "the ego" went on overdrive Input would be nice, but not necessary..it is a WIP, I'll be editing it as time goes along. Going to the studio with this I think, hopefully I don't put this off like I've done everything else, I'm so prone to that for some reason. Without further ado! Devil(Ego) -------------------------------------- I think I have a personal devil I think I'm on another level It seems to be that I Gotta big ego, seems to serves me well and it seems that I don't know how to let go I think You couldn't tell by lookin at me, Possibly like Luci(SCARY VOICE ON LUCI, POSSIBLY DEMONIC) I Goto Target, Someone marks me as a target, gives me the hawk eye Probably because I'm so fly, Yeah I hold myself well when I'm out about without much doubt My ego is swoll when I drink, I get to the point where I don't care what most of you think Man I'm so intelligent, research like a mother fucker Some probably think I'm arrogrant, I think to a certain degree, but it's something that I can't see! If I don't believe what you say, unstoppable You ain't even an obstacle, man my vibe when I write is tropical If you a problem than that problem is solvable, never heard of that word what do you mean impossible I'm a Master Jedi Master Jedi(SOME SORT OF WARPED VOICE) I'm a Master Jedi Master Jedi(SOME SORT OF WARPED VOICE Haven't met anyone as fly Yeah look at me, If I was Adam I woulda probably ate that apple under the tree To do it I wouldn't need no Eve, Straight curiosity, I swear it's rare to see something new to me Submissive, Logical, Analytical, My rhymes are so biblical, also authoritative where I wanna be The biggest ego you've probably seen on the scene, incredible hulk looking for the green When the true green within me, Don't wanna set myself apart from others by becoming Royalty When I rap I'm Mr. Nobody, Yeah that dude you saw from the movie with so much authority How can I be so sure I exist, sure as hell feels like when I'm having good sex I'm a control freak like Lex, I put the pussy in a suplex, One day I'll be making those big checks Be doing so good for myself my lil freak will be asking me with a thrill in her eye what's next I'm a Master Jedi Master Jedi(SOME SORT OF WARPED VOICE) I'm a Master Jedi Master Jedi(SOME SORT OF WARPED VOICE Haven't met anyone as fly I'm A Master Jedi, I look Fly With A Suit And Tie Everybody got those but I make it look so good Like a new trend, new money new Benjamins Roleplay the devil in bed with my girl her eyes roll back like it's heaven No rules in bed no such thing as fucking behavin, look at that ass when it's leavin Trust me if it does wont be grinding my teeth when it's leavin, best believe in If the pussy was good it was good, but if she decides to leave she isn't the one Not on that convincing shit, once you are done it is done, likewise to the nun This whole time, when I rhyme, I shine, because I bust and when I bust I'm so fine Born In Jan I'm The Man, Well According To My Sign I'm A Goat I Never Miss A Motha Fucking Note Gonna get heat, but a hater is a heat seeking missile, Shit wont phaze me because I'm a phoenix (UH!) I'm a Master Jedi Master Jedi(SOME SORT OF WARPED VOICE) I'm a Master Jedi Master Jedi(SOME SORT OF WARPED VOICE Haven't met anyone as fly

So ive come to the realization internally that i cant find michael, michael is just a thought, and even writing in this context is weirding me the fuck out! Or rather the feeling of weirding the fuck out is arising, totally becoming disidentified with.. well.. who "I" thought was me. Having a hard time going to bed, each time "me" comes back to the foundation of nothingness or the realization michael doesnt exist.. eerie as shit might one say. A sudden gasp of air or shock arises within the body, like "michael" is dying the emotional reaction now while writing is sadness and depression but no identity is experiencing it.. wwwweeeiirdd..and the realization that.. uhh michael was never there ever.. sad hurt pain cry anger .. hate ... go away This one is trying not to wig out.. sleeping next to whatever my daughter is.. a thought perhapps.. deep deep pain Anyways... will one wake up tomorrow? Am.. "I" dying? Scared ..if not than.. wtf is this shock and gasps for? Realization of non existance but was just illusion? Tripping?

@Keyblade Viking *ERASING RELIGIOUS DOGMA*

@Ayla Sorry...I don't do Jesus Sorry, don't do Jesus... The bible has built scorn within me, due to having a shitty Grandpa as an influence who was all about God and discipline and order.

@Ayla Are you the angel? Your picture is angelic

Just because you cannot find an agent for experience, doesn't mean there is not one.

Yeah it is beginning to feel like that, sometimes forgetfulness comes about and realization that "I" doesn't exist, I feel feelings of Wanna get lost the illusion, wanna go back... perhaps why gaming at the moment. Notice less anger and argumental stance though, when snapped, snap back into remembereing hurt,pain, and depression right now...feeling of pointlessness Hopefully Leo is right and this passes But oh boy..when "I" get angry, "I" get angry, with a family member I just snap so...thinking that will have to do child hood healing of some sort. The man who raised me is a bigot, hater, resentful, and an asshole externally, don't know about how he is internally, but might be thinking that he reflects my internal...ew..although this is just another concept so, not sure.

If the law of attraction is true, than the universe was designed to give me what I ask for, so whoever designed the universe loves me because it never denies me! Law of attraction, if its true.

@The Alchemist Not pointless, the experience is great man, got games to play tomorrow, whoever the perceiver is which one cannot identify with probably does give a fuck, experience. So in a sense.. one does gove a fuck... me whatever that is.

What is so wrong with videos? Everything is vain glory anyways... personally dont think will stop even after enlightenment.

Ok so if I go from within with empirical evidence only this seems to be true that I do not exist, but if I involve the external and internal with this truth I cannot seem to grasp how this could be true, For what if externally I do exist and all of what makes me, me is stored somewhere, like a cosmic brain or some shit. The truth should stump both internal and external should it not? Anyways Im going to go empirically as suggested but it still bothers me when I involve the external with the internal when looking for the truth, The theory of no self doesnt add up.

@Naviy Confusing to say the least

All this gooshy stuff is making me sick, if only I had a heart ... Really my heart is hardened, but thankful realizing the only world that may contain truth is within so, hopefully soon I'll feel love and growth soon enough, not taking it for granted anymore...I just hope to god I don't turn into a care bear.

I have concluded that no matter what the external does, it is "ME" who agrees with it or doesn't..and anything I believe is subjective, and perhaps the only truth that cannot be questioned is the one Leo was talking about, a truth that cannot be communicated from within. WHEW.. THANK GOD THE EXTERNAL PROBLEM IS SOLVED..NOW..ALL I HAVE LEFT IS THE SEARCH FOR EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE..THERE IS HOPE!!!! =)

The thought for me, empirically, seems to exist for a moment, based on how I feel when I think about it, and that it has "content" but than it fades it away and dies. So a thought exists, than it dies<--- my truth Any arguments against my truth vs your truth about arguments?