WonderSeeker

What skills are you building over time? For me, it's practicing Mandarin / Pinyin. I do 2 hours a day minimum. 3-6 hours a day on weekends. Watching Chinese movies, TV, handriting, etc. Planning to take it deep (HSK 4 and beyond) as long as I'm living in China. P.S. If you are a world traveller, then learn to love learning languages! Language study felt like such a chore in high school. But as an adult having been exposed to French, Mongolian, and Korean (and soon Chinese) in countries that speak these as native languages, I've found they open up to you so many opportunities when you learn thier languages. You become an object of total fascination which in my experience has been great for career and dating.

Good shit

I did content creation for a year. Hated it the crap out of it. Even when I figured out how to go viral and made posts that my friends saw (without me needing to tell them), it still wasn't worth it. Soul draining work. Made negative profit and burned-out massively. Working off a computer for more than 2 hours a day makes me wanna commit unspeakable crimes. I lose my mind. However I am happy that it taught me some basic business skills and how to write for appeal, which are skills I will have for life (there's something in every endeavor). Cannot argue with that. But ever since changing my career to teaching I've never been happier and more fulfilled. My life is being lived at a more adventurous scale than most, even with a f*cked money situation. But that's about to change too. Life is a maze as some say~

Getting surprised by life. Imagining 10 different ways a scenario can play out and having it always go different than you expected. I enjoy this aspect of reality so much. The counter-intuitive nature of life. Even better is when something goes unexpectedly in a "bad" way. Every time this happens I act like it's a good thing in practice. Next I breathe into the anxious emotions to let go of how I actually feel about it. Then again I act like "perfect, everything is going according to plan." Then LITERALLY every time without there EVER being an exception, the universe folds like origami to turn that initial negative into a gigantic positive. It's so cool.....

You won't believe me but I went through something VERY similar 3 years ago. Psychopath that I lived with for 2 months (don't have time to explain why, just unfortunate circumstances). The longer we live together, the more tea spills. She has an arrest warrant in Minnesota. She has slept with several 100s of guys. She got her fillopian tubes tied because she wants guys to bust loads in her. She's autistic so in her mind sex is just oxytocin (pure survival thinking) and if she doesn't get enough she gets super depressed. She's clinically diagnosed with a dozen mental disorders. She has a sandwich bag that looks like lucky charms (actually meds) and eats like 20 different shaped pills and chases it with bottle after bottle of wine. Can't get a job. Stays home all day and gets money from her dead granny's estate to survive. All kinds of crazy stuff. Again, too much to write out. Eventually I get the police to take her as she says "I wanna die" on a couple of occasions. She gets put (back) into the psych ward and acts like we're cool one moment, then goes nuts the next accusing me of all these things and threatening court. I eventually block her and change my apartment locks. For a while I didn't date a whole lot. Brother, you will date again. You just need time to focus on yourself and take care of your psyche. Give it time. I'd read LOA, get your mind into positive thoughts. If you really think this gave you trauma or triggered earlier C-PTSD from childhood, read Pete Walker's "Complex PTSD." He has a great 13-step 'how to diffuse the panic response' protocol to calm your nerves in the moment. Plus how to take steps toward healing long term. Maybe your life needed a shakeup and this is bringing your awareness to who you are attracting. You can change this brother. You'll find someone good. You just need time,self-love, and a new strategy. Peace

Strangest thing I've read on this forum in a minute.

Depends on what you want to know. "What do I want to know?" "What's something that bothers me and how can I get to the bottom of it?" "What do I want out of life?" People are gonna flood this thread with what they think is best. But I'd start with you. What do you want to know personally?

Cool man, thanks for sharing. Being content with who you are but still actively striving is such a delicious paradox once you embrace it. In recent years I've learned to be content more. People say "You're too young to relax, hustle harder!" But nah, I'm happier this way and actually making way more money than before. My consciousness is stabalizing better and I'm learning how to cycle my emotions when uphevals occur. But sometime soon there will be a kick to go hard for more consciousness, health, love, etc See, I always thought it was a misconception too. I still think kids are at an advantage for learning 2 languages from say age three, but to start in your 20s/30s isn't necessarily a bad thing. Some people have said put in 10 hours a day and bam you are at intermediate Chinese within a year. Mathematically, 3 hours a day for 3-4 years to achieve the same result. Not bad

Integrity. It's such a beautiful practice. It's the highest form of taking care of reality. Making sure things are as they should be. But this 'should be' is devoid of ego. Which is hard in practice. Still worth it.

Imagine switching brains for a day to see what it would feel like. Man you must have gotten lucky finding Actualized because there's too much brain in these forums!

Ah, you must be a fan of Andrew Henderson. He raves about KL constantly. Maybe our tastes are different because without even going there I'd expect Shanghai to be too much like NY/LA (high-speed energy). Way too big and fast. Hangzhou is right nearby. Excellent tea culture and scenery. I haven't been to either yet but am considering living in Hangzhou. This guy was ahead of his time. Videos are useful and entertaining even a decade later.

This is it. When I think back to my best seductions, all I did was act like a retard and drop off-hand compliments like sprinkles on a cake. Things escalated so naturally... If it's a date or a social circle meetup, you just do things that you're passionate about and share them with everyone there. I believe @integral posted about this the other day. From there you go on little quests. Man with a plan type shit But @jacknine119 you got this! Start small. Step 1 is make a solid female friend. Don't assess hotness, just make a friend. ...And don't try to fuck her (like my stupid ass has done before). Sometimes you can, but the goal is momentum, not the first one that validates you. As you go you'll buld that social proof and get with one you truly like. I'm moving to a new country soon. I've been studying the language and I plan to meet women and show them what I've been up to. Playfully, of course! Having fun with it. Will probably post about it after a year or so

Part of it was a friend told me I never let my space get even 1% messy. He said "Come on, throw some clothes on the floor, leave a notebook or two open." Over time I learned to 'tolerate it'. Then I had a girl move in with me for a couple months. After that I started a business. Both made me realize "I just don't have time for this petty, small stuff. Why bother." And not even from an apathetic standpoint. Just in a realistic, human sort of way. People are beautifully messy and so am I. Trying to keep my messiness crammed behind a paradigm of contraction is exhausting and energetically wasteful. But @integral a question for you is why do these kinds of people bother you? Have you ever considered keeping everything tidy, even beautiful to a tee? I don't know you but I'm assuming maybe not. I agree with this from the perspective of being a highly sensitive person (HSP). My brain is wired to at least have SOME level of order in my environment. The main thing for me these days isn't so much things being exactly where they need to as having clean air, water, floors, etc. Right now in Korea we get a lot of fine dust and sometimes high AQI levels, so I use an air purifier to keep things pure. Yes, this is a little different from the aestheticism perspective but it ties in in the sense that clean environment leads to clean mind. Being actionably aggressive about it isn't necessarily wrong; it's only a problem if you get emotionally triggered by things being out of place or a little dirty.

I used to be this way. Scolded many old roommates for not keeping up with cleaning. After a while I learned to let go of needing things to look 'perfect'. You can easily waste loads of precious consciousness on myopic bullshit if you're not careful.

I'm just asking what you like about nature man. Give us the tea I typed out a detailed response about how I engage with nature and how it brings me joy.

How so

@Schizophonia good thread idea. Every couple years I move cities. Ever since getting a university degree in geology, I've made a ritual of exploring all the local river beds and mountains in the city I lived in. I've done this in New York, Arizona, Virginia, Utah, and now Korea. Even Alaska and Mongolia a bit. I take a notebook and a compass, and try to make sense of the environment from scratch. It's so fun! Will share photos soon Also, learning Mandarin. Just starting but know about a dozen expressions. It's a fulfilling project.

What's stopping you now? It's still a good time to go! nǐhǎo haha. Yeah I've heard that's super sommon there. It's such a homogeneous culture still.

Was originally going to put this in the intellectual stuff section. Space signals are somewhat sciencey. But the reason I'm sharing here is because of my reaction to them. I've been searching different space signals that NASA and other space agencies have picked up. I don't know about you, but these kinds of things send chills and shivers down my spine. (Good ones of course)! My vision blurs, my eyes roll up, my head vibrates fast, and I take it in. It's funny becuase we humans have things like primal drumming, heartbeats, bird chirping, and other natural sounds that get us in touch with ourselves. But these space signals... they are so distant, yet (I think) baked so very, very, very deep within us, that if you listen to them from a certain perspective (perhaps a more refined emotional OS after spiritual practice and psychedelics) you can really let these noises penetrate your soul and connect to yourself deeply. Links: Now someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think these sounds are the literal raw sounds coming from space, but rather vibrations that we then filter through instruments to make the 'sounds' or 'music' you hear. But still where else in the world can you find these rhythms?! Nature reigns #1. Most people would find this haunting. I find it just... fucking awesome. Let me know if you're equally touched by such things. You just might be a highly sensitive person like me P.S. I'm listening to these on $300 Sony headphones. Good audio tech makes all the difference.

Godammit. Reminds me when one of my ex's dropped a nuke on me IRL at my place saying I'm acting like I need to be mommy'd. She was a literal psychopath horrible-person, so I hated that she was the one to share such truth with me. But she was right and I thank her for it to this day. I've uprooted some tendencies of looking for mother in the women I date. Are you happy you got the truth as well?

I might not use psychedelics -- at least on a monthly basis -- for 2-3 years. Honestly learning to take integration more seriously. So much to integrate still from 2023-2026 trips... Plus I'll be living in China. There's a different vibe present when you trip inj a country where there's almost 0% support for it. At least in America there are hippie and nondual enclaves you can find. When I tripped in South Korea in the first hour I had anxiety the police were gonna bust in. As if they'd know, lol... Side tangent but felt the need to say that. We have our lives ahead of ourselves if we're 20s/30s. Many trips to be had.

Yeah, the contrast can do that. Was this your highest dose? For LSD I've never gone higher than ~200ug plugged. Love that for you. For us. Thanks for sharing~

Doesn't just depend on genetics in my experience. I feel like when you take a huge break from it, the first time back is a jump in consciousness. But when you take it every day it actually takes you down and makes you a dumb animal.

330 ug is a lot. No wonder! These days 100 is enough to take me to God. Only tripped 20ish times. Every next time I'm more sensitive. This is where it got interesting for me. Your bullets wreak of trying to get somewhere, not being satisfied with 'ordinary consciousness.' Why? "Retard awakening" made me laugh tho What do you mean by you feel traumatized? Maybe you went too far for where you're at? Like trying to jump 20 steps ahead spiritually instead of 1... Good stuff though. I would just learn to love ordinary conscoiuness too. Destroys the clingy need to be higher (negatively-motivated desire) Cheers~

I follow you on IG and you seem to have a solid social life. You look happy. Is the happiness short-lived or fake, and that's why you want to align with something more true to you? Just curious Honestly I am very aligned as far as career goes. Moved halfway around the world and am enjoying the slow process of soaking up new cultures. Of course, there are some areas I'd like to work on. For one, getting back to home-cooked meals and eating whole foods. Also working out and taking care of other health things. But otherwise the path I'm on is better than I expected 3 years ago. There's a lot of potential. Going to make a bigger post about it at some point