WonderSeeker

How is this avoiding the work?

It happens naturally. Sometimes painfully. No need to worry about doing the balancing using willpower. For example, I studied all the dating theory in the world for years. Then I realized I hadn't gotten the results I wanted. So, I went out and actually started approaching and dating girls. Met hundreds of girls and learned about how relationships actually work by... cultivating various unique relationships organically. What also helps is understanding the value is deriving theory from scratch. The value of throwing yourself into intense practice and discovering what's true for yourself. Or by fucking up at something to the point of saying "Okay maybe I don't know this area as well as I thought." Then reading new books on the matter. Over time you'll know the right balance. If you actually watched that Theory v. Practice video, just put it to practice for a few years Leo's insights take time to grock and put into action.

@Aaly don't get discouraged, I've been there before. You describe this condition like a tank filled with liquid and you inside of it (see bolded text above). You are 'drowning' because you have a full resivoir of negative beliefs with associated negative emotions. You carry this 'heavy' weight with you to your classes, your friends, and your parents. Think of the liquid as your emotions around different issues you have. 80% of the work isn't about "improvement", but about developing self-love and healthy pride for who you already are right now. Although you listed multiple external problems, I think each affects the other. Therefore we need to get to the root negative beliefs you have about yourself. On paper, ask yourself "Why am I not good enough?" Wait for an answer that emotionally triggers you (that's the gold). You may also try "Why do my parents hate me and why is it my fault?" (Not saying this is true, it just helps to trigger heavy material to let go of). Once you have that, allow yourself to feel the heavy emotions to stir as you focus on this issue. Breathe in and out deeply and let the tears flow. Here's an example of what this process can look like: Good luck!

Your point about family influencing the trip is valid. Explore new places entirely on your own terms. It makes a world of difference. Agree with @Leo Gura here: I'm 27. When I was your age I lived in a suburban NY town near the Canadian border. Then in rural Vermont a couple years. Then the 5M+ Phoenix metro for a few years. Also been to Virgina, Florida, SC, Alaska, Utah, Ohio, Mass, Maine, for a few weeks each. Sometimes for work. Other times just to explore. Oh and Mongolia/central Asia too. Explore the WORLD! I'm moving to South Korea 6 days from now. I used to think i wanted to live and settle down with a farm girl in Vermont at your age (lmfao). But after you have a few places under your belt, you get this itch to see more and perfect your habitat and your place in it... Go solo and go for volume. After 5+ places lived in and 20+ places explored, you'll see patterns of what you love and hate. AMA, and have fun!

Seems like the relationship dimension is most important to you since you spent 50% of your post talking about it. Do you think intimacy with this woman is recoverable? If not, just move on but keep her as a friend/wing-girl if you want. Also for Godsakes, get the hell outta Appalachia! Travel and take on new challenges. You need to get your feet wet and your hands dirty more (maybe literally). All that integral theory will make so much more sense the more diverse your experience is. I was theory-heavy like you after 6 years of uni and 3 years of reading books nonstop. So I moved far away from family, across America to Phoenix. Every opportunity that came up I jumped on. (Cuz that's what you do when you swing the pendulum from theory to practice.) Tried sales jobs, corporate jobs, and online business. I dated sour and sweet people. Had a health crash. Traveled all over the U.S., to Alaska, and Asia. You're talking about managing college classes and I'm like 7 years removed from that, sitting here laughing. You haven't begun yet. Real life starts after college. Go on some wild adventures and all that theory will light up! You got this

Oh man, I remember being in your shoes. I wanted to go into academia, to be a professor. But when I began pursuing spirituality, a chasm opened up in my mind between academics and science. At first I tolerated it. I created my own theories and philosophical systems a out the science I was doing. But I let those go as they didn't have much practical value. Chose not to go into academia further than a Masters degree. Then left the field entirely. Went from switching paradigms of how I looked at my field to switching paradigms about how I looked at my whole life. Today I'm no longer a scientist, at least exclusively. I'm not saying this will be you, but don't be surprised if being mystical takes you down a different path. To answer your question more specifically, I think Leo has books on his book list that "reconcile spirituality and science" as you say. Read history of mathematics books, Ken Wilber books, and do psychedelics. Then contemplate everything you learned and you'll figure some stuff out. Thats how I did it with science

@Leo Gura I'm moving out of the U.S. but am already considering flying back for a Ralston workshop in 2026/27. Depending on when you do this I may trade spots. Been watching you since 2019 after finding your 'How to Use Psychedelics For Personal Development' video. Done 20+ trips and trip-sat others in various contexts. Have immense respect for psychedelics and those who do them. Would be an honor to share a space with such people. Would take 100% seriously as this work is part of my life purpose. Besides getting out of the house more is this part of a bigger project for you? Curious since I remember you talking about doing Owen-style free tours years ago and it falling through the cracks. Looking forward to hearing more.

The first time my mind ever said "maybe I should move" was 8 years ago. The feeling intensified when I had an amazing experience in east Asia 3 years ago (good people, less political heat, heightened sense of purpose). Me? I'm at 27 and moving from the U.S. to Korea in 1 month. I'm single and have a job waiting, so it's a little easier for me. Right now is the absolute perfect time to pull the trigger. Americans look like deer in the headlights these days. Everyone's either doubling down on failing consumerist-materialist paradigms or wallowing in financial misery. London is insanely expensive. If you are a city person, then fine. I'm not sure what your finances are, but marriage (and I presume kids) might make things tight... but at least you'd have family right beside you to help out. Otherwise, forget the speculation and what family says. Just listen to that inner voice. Good luck!!

I have a friend staying in Berlin right now. He told me you can buy LSD from stores there (giant posters in the storefront glass). Not legal, but they sell it anyways haha. Last time I personally travelled abroad was 3 years ago for a 6-week stay in Mongolia. If you go hard with dating you should be set. Women love curious men who just rolled into town from my experience I don't know shit about Germany. All I can say is explore as much as possible. Be interesting. Be interested. You will only go as far as your curiosity takes you. So ask lots of questions. Flirt with the environment and it'll flirt back. Good night and have fun!

I'd never heard of Yanis Varoufakis until today. Apparently he's the guy who claimed capitalism is over and we're now in so-called "techno-feudalism" He makes a pretty compelling case (articulate, experienced, aware; feels like SD green/yellow). If you wanna know how big tech is influencing your mind, watch these: Great for sense-making the madness we're in.

For the past 6 years I've been ruthlessly applying Actualized-style personal development. I've done basically everything Leo talks about and pushed each area pretty hard. After all this time I've realized that geography plays a FUCKING MASSIVE role in how well the teachings work, at least for me. By geography, I mean everything from the country you live in, to the culture, the food, the people, the politics ... everything. This has lead me to an important insight: I need to start honoring my genetics and my preferences a lot more seriously. And also take the fucking hints when I reflect back on my life. Because honestly, I think America is possibly one of the worst non 3rd world country places for me on the planet. Not that I have much experience living elsewhere (I've only been to Canada and Mongolia for about 1 month each). But my intuitive-feeling capacities tell me so (and they're pretty sharp when they detect serious signal). I realized that living in America has been one of the biggest bottlenecks holding me back in life. As an INFP and an HSP, I am naturally extremely sensitive to my external environment and the people in it. I've tried for years to modify my behaviors using classical self-help, only to be disappointed over and over again. No, actually, pissed the fuck off. But not in an uncontrollable way. Just in a 'this is a rational response to a system that's not working for me' kind of way. Here's what I mean... This part isn't an America problem, but a climate problem: I currently live in a desert. As an HSP, the 110F heat fries my nervous system daily, impairing my brain function and forcing me to sleep-in every day. (Recently I took several sick days and lost my job recently because of it). The dust, loud car noises, and pollution all fuck with my senses as well. The basic internal message is "This place is chaotic", "I cannot think straight", "I am not safe here". After 3 years of this I am leaving for a smaller city with forests nearby. Now let's talk about America's problems... 1) Student debt. I aced college (and left with 40k in student debt). I've tried for years to go purely for the money to pay it down, but I hate corporate America and can't stomach staying in it for long. I have such a sour taste in my mouth that going to college, taking it seriously, and developing myself meant being a financial cripple. That's already an issue for me. Also, credit cards, car salesmen types, etc (I tried sales myself and found it to be monstrously unconscious and disgusting). 2) Relationships. Socially, people here are shallow, slimy, and fronting big time. Generally they're not nice and disingenuous. I know dating and socializing works for some here, but I am not a fan of game and clubbing no matter how hard I hit it and tried to enjoy it (I've done Miami and Scottsdale for example, and even the 'successes' were incredibly shallow). It's fake, overstimulating, and full of shit. And the status games are immature and pointless. Don't really need to say more, these things are self-evident. 3) Commercialism overload. Too many ads, advertising, commercials, billboards, and cut-throat tactics all in the name of money. We are so commercialized, people are getting reduced to data points and we treat each other like products instead of people. We don't value natural stuff or health, just profits by any means necessary. 4) Cutting back on EPA regulations. This one is personal because of my sensitivities, but really it affect everyone. Even people with the thickest shells are gonna be more prone to serious disease and illness. I need not say more. 5) The amount of news and politics getting shoved in your face 24/7. Sounds crazy, but in other parts of the world politics isn't a boiling pot of water. Gee, wouldn't it be nice? 6) Mass stupidity and idiocy. There's more, but this is a good starter list. - - - - - In 2 months I'm moving to South Korea to teach English to kindergarteners. It's not my ultimate life purpose but I'm proud of the decision. Plus I'm excited to be somewhere where it will be easier to live happily and make space for another run at deep personal development. Here's why I'm choosing Korea: 1) Cost of living. It's cheaper just about everywhere in east Asia. 3 years ago I got a $6 haircut and paid $15 for dinner in Mongolia (and it was all high quality too). In Korea people are generally healthier and live slightly longer than in the U.S. 2) Relationships and social life. Maybe this is preferential, but being on the more sensitive side, east Asian people are my jam. When I was in Mongolia I had some wild dates and met my first 'dream woman' there. It gave me a taste of the benefits of social cohesion and how the women there are literally the best. It's hard to date in America once you've done it there. 3) Less political nonsense. I prefer less unnecessary chaos. I'll let the U.S. bask in its own misery while I live where there's less bullshit. A little bullshit is ok (and normal), but not what the U.S. has. 4) Education and teachers are not only compensated, but MASSIVELY respected and admired. I've spoken to many teachers in the U.S. and it really breaks my heart the challenges they face. The situation is massively fucked up whether you're in a rural area or in a city. I would never teach here in 100 years. 5) Spirituality. Lots of Buddhism to go around all around Asia. In Mongolia it was a lot of Tibetan Buddhism. Not that I'm into the religious part of it. But being in a culture with a healthier form of religion (compare to the Christian nutcases in America) is important for me. Plus in certain parts of Asia they allow you to take time off to become a monk for part of the year where you do basically nothing but meditate and take care of the temple. I recently met a guy who did something like that at Mount Hiei in Japan. Another one in Nepal. It just makes so much sense with this Actualized work. 6) Better food (depending on where you are of course). 7) Asian people are more laid back, value real connection (although some of the metros can be more superficial due to fusion with expats). But in general this is true. The less western mind-virus, the better. The one girl I was seeing in Mongolia 3 years ago used to go to meditation retreats and she was so present, calm, and receptive. I was like holy shit, I've been alive for 24 years and didn't know what I was missing... not a superficial fling, but something real. YES, they do exist. - - - - - That's basically it. Ask me anything, I'm tired.

No doubt. This is just the next step. SK is my easiest foot in the door out of the US. I plan to mobilize after a year there. (I'm on a TEFL contract) Also good reminder I totally get what you mean about generalizations. Maybe you've been, but having not gone yet I'm still exploring the nuances to each culture. Just from basic history class and reading I know where these countries came from and more or less where they stand. But I'm not gonna pretend to know 'what' they are. Maybe you know more than me. What kinds of islands are you talking about? Also totally agree on the low consciousness people part. When I dated the Japanese girl in Mongolia she'd been to 3 vipassina retreats, spoke 5 languages, and worked at the U.N. Like you couldn't make this up. Still kick myself for letting that slip. But I wouldnt even say she was super aware, not that i need that in a woman I guess. High-consciousness only comes in unicorn individuals and rare pockets... not localized to any nation or city (that i know of)

When I come i expect Mad Honey served to me at the temple 😋

Woah interesting, I'd love to hear more! I think scientists should research this topic of experiencing non-native cultures more. Like I'm genuinely curious why some people just do better some places, while others suffer in different places.

Thanks for sharing. You hit the nail on the head. Really can't add much more. Takes a certain type to see "this" U.S. as somehow normal or better. Some positives, yes. Access to nature is #1 for me. I grew up in New York state / Vermont, and you have there some of the most beautiful land I've seen on planet earth to this day. But yeah, Americans are out of touch with genuine, easy-going sexual polarity. Whereas those countries you mentioned (BRAZ, MEX) got that down to a tee. My buddy has been to Brazil and tells the best stories. I took a couple Brazzilian women to the bars last year in Phoenix... Holy shit they were fun. The Mexicans too. But somehow my own people are hard to connect with and it saddens me. It's like, "What the fuck is going on in the collective psyche here?!" I'm not here to speculate, only asking. This part resonated: "Hope people don't get butthurt and start flinging shit at me because my perspective makes them insecure about their own decisions." I swear that's exactly it. When I talk to REAL PEOPLE face to face they have INCREDIBLE experiences to share about Korea, Brazil, etc. But then people who look up other places and only the negatives without ever buying a plane ticket think they know the world... this is basic epistemology. Direct experience vs the internet... Anyways thanks again for sharing!

That's sounds like a great opportunity actually. Thanks for sharing dude

What version of "the West" are you referring to? In America all of those things you described such as 'workers rights' and 'free speech' have been eroding for years, now at an accelerated pace. Let's do some epistemology. How do you know what you're saying? 1) The internet. 2) Talking to real people with real experience. 3) Experiencing the thing yourself. Because the latter two I have experience in. I've passed through Korea and stayed in Mongolia for 6 weeks. I found so much joy in the adventures and integrating aspects of the culture (language, speech, dating, growth, etc). I've spoken to people who've lived in Japan, Korea, and Mongolia (and said they loved it). I know others who travel like this. They create whole new lives overseas and prefer it (like I did). In my life I've found you don't know until you try. And if you haven't tried, talk to people. And if you aren't happy where you're at, might as well try something new. If you are, then keep doing what you're doing sir *tips cap*

Yeah I think the 'reckless' dating/friendship of America is what turns me off the most. It's just fake and massively unattractive. To participate in it is to lie to yourself or to have think skin (if you have the latter, good for you then). Reason I liked east Asia wasn't just because it was cheaper like some people talked about. I made better connections and was able to express myself in new ways that I couldn't believe. This is actually interesting AF because I see everyone else focusing on the negative, yet it doesn't really get to me because when I think about moving to Korea and bumping around to other countries surrounding it I'm only focused on all of the adventures I'm going to go on, the people I'm gonna meet, and the radical transformations I'm gonna go through. It's the intention you bring in that counts: the intention to create and experience. An hey if I'm wrong, then ok big deal. I'm only 27. Will move onto something else. Most people in here haven't even been to east Asia, they're just reading ChatGPT and farting out ungrounded opinions. I've actually been (and it's lit). When I'm older though I wouldn't mind Scandinavia or eastern Canada (away from the cities). We'll see. Enjoy Hanoi and the others as you go! Cheers.

Duh. There's more to life than enlightenment you know

Yeah this is just one of those things where you have to accept the reality of it. A good question to ask is "Even if people were more open to it, would that be a good thing? Why or why not?" It personally helped me out quite a bit when I stopped assuming it'd be a good thing if it were mainstream. Great book by the way. Chris Bache was ahead of his time.

She was great. I hit her up every now and then on IG, but for the most part she's outta my orbit. She's in Paris so I'm not too attached... but if we both end up in Mongolia again someday.... watch the fuck out! Read about my trip here: https://x.com/jaypidgescribes/status/1922260576975388965 Well you're mostly referring to Seoul and Busan. I'm going to live in a more mid-sized city... Gwangju ideally. But there's also Suwon, Daeju, and others. If you're curious how I came to this decision I fed ChatGPT all of my top preferences and filtered for the best cities in SK. The mid-sized ones have stellar nature access and Gwangju in particular is a college city on the more "progressive" side But hey, either way I'll let you know how it goes Used to dream about it. But when it comes to the nuts and bolts of what I want most, I veer toward SEA countries. If I start thinking about it logically that takes me away from intuition What's most important to me right now is starting a deep relationship, and Asians and Latinas are pure gold when it comes to that

Yes, teaching English. Most places requires a bachelors to do it. SEA actually doesn't pay great when it comes to teaching (not that I'm a money whore, my student loan every month are just high AF). Oh and trust me I know there's ugly sides to these cultures. In Mongolia they have godawful pollution problems (they throw trash into pits, burn it, and let the ashes blow around for example). Not to mention the corruption (usually related to China, shocker). I used to live in a progressive town in New England. Always been curious about PNW and Colorado. But the part of me that wants to leave is too strong. My intuition is like YES! THIS IS THE WAY! I don't see things getting better here so I'm gonna go where I'm treated best. Cheers ~ ~ ~

Yeah nobody wants to have babies there... wild isn't it? SK Chinnghis Khaan to the rescue! Time to raise an army

I feel you. I tried giving a shit about the welfare of America from 2020 up to about last month. Kept giving the U.S. a chance, getting straight A's college, starting a biz, and trying to meet genuine people. It all lead to 60k in debt, failed businesses, and dating psychopaths. (Yes, I know some of these problems are partially my own fault, but let's focus on the American system for now). Disillusionment is saving me personally. Now I'm doing inner work (trauma release) and moving to Asia. Why? Asia is gonna be the winner of the 21st century, while the U.S. collapses. Plus, people there are so much nicer and take care of each other better. I've been there and seen it, experienced it close-up. Even though in some ways they're at slightly lower spiral stages, they're more stable and have a healthy style of community. And if you're a guy, the women there are lightyears ahead of here (not stuck-up like 80% here). And yes, I'm aware that this sounds red-pilled or whatever it's called. But this is just my experience being age 27 and having tried A TON of different things from living in multiple cities, travelling, approaching 100s of people, dating, starting a biz, working tons of different jobs in a variety of industries, joining different communities, making new friends, etc. It might take more time for you, or maybe you will carve a niche for yourself here. I dunno. But for me America has been like a toxic relationship with a psychopath; and having experience in this, there's only two options: leave or kick them the fuck out. And since you can't kick a country out, I'm leaving. I have no stake in this place anymore, it's a shithole.

I'm 27. 3-5 years ago I was a college hippy. I binge-watched Leo's deepest teachings to achieve awakenings: sober on LSD I read Ken Wilber, Peter Ralston. Went deep on all of it. Then college (vacation) ended. I realized I had to stop being spiritual and figure survival out. Today I'm still figuring it out. I can't re-watch any of Leo's metaphysical videos because they don't help me survive lol. (Ironic because I used to not care about survival as much). Anyways, I did some digging and found this old gem. Almost 12 years since: Most of the forum probably has never seen this video before. Nor will they watch it. It doesn't breach the profound threshold. But for me it's exactly what I needed to hear. In this video Leo shares the core concept of life purpose. He goes into his journey: college game designer internet marketing biz life coaching biz What's cool is I feel like I'm a vibrational match to who he is in this video. I'm ~6 months into my first business. But I'm dead-aware it's just a step in my journey. It's one of those outer layers I'm peeling back in my life purpose (credit David Deida on the analogy). I deeply resonate with this journey, starting off by knowing what you want... Then shifting gears to express other values that weren't getting the love they deserved... To building skillsets (such as sales/marketing/speaking) to be able to: express certain parts of yourself... generate long-term, sustainable income... So Leo, thank you for keeping these old videos of you up. I think current-me and 12-16 years-ago you are parallel lives. Crazy how there seems to be a sequencing to all growth in people. And ironically, it's comforting to know that all this pain I feel as I grow... Even when I feel like I'm back-peddling)... Is actually leading to awesomeness. ***** Thank you brother. @Leo Gura