WonderSeeker

@k-ahmadzadeh Brother let me tell you, it's not just you. A lot of people go thru this. Me, I'm in door to door sales right now. And as someone who is not a natural at it (which is the case for most who do it), it will make you feel deeply unoptimistic about your goals, whether you'll make enough money to make it through, and change your life. Similar to what you're feeling. What to do about this? I stay optimistic by saying all positive thoughts OUT LOUD, and let the negative thoughts come and go like rainstorms. They say that a negative thought that gets emotionally energized (usually said aloud) has 10x the negative effect on you. So no negative shit out loud. Next, I always do the work whether I want to or not. No paralysis by analysis and no waiting for the world to dictate whether my future will be favorable or not. And I do this knowing I may get in a car crash tomorrow, get bit by a dog, go bankrupt, get an STD, a world war starts, whatever. Lol. Both sides are true, the Tier 2 approach is about using what works to anneal to your target reality. And then let the chips fall where they may. Be a realistic optimist.

Best video I've come across on mental illness awareness. Rewatch a few times. Notice all of the subtle body language cues. Warning: If you're like me you will be washed over with intense emotions and bawl your eyes out for over an hour after watching. The actors did an incredible job in making it real.

Just trust yourself. Forgive yourself. Study study study, but then break away and build your own thing. Honor your uniqueness and don't get sullied down the wrong corridor by a persuasive fellow. Have fun and laugh at life. Then get serious and drag your elbows thru the mud to create something beautiful. Etc. You've got this-

Take the last hour to reflect on paper: Top 3 major moves you made and how they've changed the trajectory of your life, What new seeds did you plant and how'd you grow, Top 3 moves for the next year and how you'll grow the seeds you planted from the previous year, Then get into the bod: do pushups, jump in the air, and physically feel into 2024, Then jerk off to christen the new year

Spiral wizardry. Telling the truth. Being patient with yourself. Awareness of one's devilry and self-deception. Willingness to lose old friends [as you change] and go periods of loneliness before gaining new friends. Seeing all sides to a problem, but choosing a solution that's the best-fit for the long-term health of the thing. Humbleness and paying mentors to hold your ass to the fire as you're facing deep fears. Pioneering something new even if it's not popular. Being yourself even if it's not popular. Having a strong sense of reality. Systems thinking. - - - A couple leaders I look up to are Owen Cook and Bernie Sanders. I've met both of them each a few times. You can feel what they're about. I don't agree with everything they say, but they sure as hell lead. For each of these examples if you look up old footage of them (1970s Bernie, 2000s Owen), you see them passionately talking about unpopular causes they truly believed in, way before they were on anyone's radar. Great leaders are grown, not born.

Been there before. Have a friend who says –40ºF winters are normal. IMAGINE! This is modern Mongolia. Imagine being Chinghis Khan, in 1200A.D., unifying tribes across the steppe to build a trans-continental empire. Ridiculous.

I'm part Armenian! Hope to visit one day. Looks beautiful. P.S. if your there now be save, the conflict with Azerbaijan sounds awfully hairy.

Pickup is not easy. In fact I believe its way harder than spirituality, lol. I'm 25. I've already spent 10k in coaching (including 2 RSD bootcamps), done 400 cold approaches in 2 years (with 300 of them being in the last 5 months), and gotten laid 0 times. Between July 2021 and now, my fear around going out and approaching was reducing, but shot back up in the past month (not sure why). My skill was plateauing and after just working with Jeffy infield, my game got worse. (Part of the natural progression??) For the typical person, this would be sufficient grounds for quitting. 400 approaches, no intimacy, and now getting worse? Hell, I'm almost reluctant to post this as it might deter newbies. But proper expectations go a long way. But here's the thing: I am not giving up, I'm only going to go harder. I've made it my goal to go out EVERY night and walk around the club area just to get in the habit of being out there without necessarily approaching. Then on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday try and get together with wings to go ham. This is the only way. I'm scared at the soul level, but I've got to do it. It's the fight of my life. Who can relate?

Ya typical rejections mean nothing to me anymore. In fact some of them make me genuinely lol The only times it hurts is when chode guy friends jump in and talk shit or if I realize I said/did something super cringe even tho I knew it was wrong. 95% of people just go out with the same social circle so when they see a guy with balls approach their female friend, they shit talk him; what's really going on there is they're triggered cuz they would never have the balls to do it and so they feel that hurling insults will make them superior. Anyway... @kamill Stud.

Actually, you're right! I conveniently left out some moderate successes. last year in Mongolia I dated 5 women off Tinder and took 2 of them back to my hotel (made a really strong connection with this sweet, intelligent Japanese girl and we got down on all 4 dates) I've had like 3 or 4 insta-dates from daygame I pulled these 2 girls from nighttime in Miami but we didn't fuck, we just shared the bed (long story, don't wanna get into it lol) Ya, to people reading this who want to get into seduction but are wondering if it will produce any fruits , PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT THIS IS ME SAYING THIS SHIT DOES NOT WORK. IT ABSOLUTELY DOES. It's just that it will 99.9% likely not be a linear progression of pure failure to pure success. It's a hero's journey, perhaps the most challenging one you'll ever have to embark like it is for me. Good point. But for people who don't have any requisite skill, you have to start somewhere to bust through early limitations. Then you can go more off intuition and stop conceptualizing attraction. Again, for some people this is a non-issue. Different people require different styles and levels of solution. How the fuck SHOULD this feel "light and natural" for men who were socially/sexually traumatized early in life? Logically it makes perfect sense, but the emotional midbrain hasn't caught up yet. People who just "get it" will never understand. And that's fine, they don't need this advice.

Feedback. I don't need a coach to tell me to approach, I want to know what my blindspots are then course-correct. Thank you. That's a helpful point. @StarStruck I rarely watch porn. 1. Currently in the gym working on it. 2. Also working on that. 3. Yes and no. 4. That's actually a good idea. I just moved cities so will look into that. 5. Yep, the No Quit attitude is my foundation. 6. Have you ever received coaching? 7. Ya, it's a progression. Part of it is social acuity and vibing, also dumping trauma energy. I am doing pickup first and foremost to become a great leader and to develop deep inner peace and love for people and life. When I was younger I became massively jaded and distrustful of people and numbed myself to it all. To me, spirituality is laughably easy compared to this. If I can handle dating and attraction to a T then 80% of life will be solved for me. I guess that's why it's so challenging HAHAH. I actually miss park daytime. As you know I'm now in Arizona where it's too hot for that kind of thing haha. Fall will be epic tho. Ya, shadow work is definitely a LARGE KEY in this. Let's do it. @ValiantSalvatore Cool man, ya I'm getting much more into physical escalation. I actually eskimo kissed a girl then pulled her out of the club, full compliance, less than 2 mins into the interaction. I'm far from being shy about making moves. It's just a matter of more reps and better calibration, reading the play, and being smooth. I also have a high school friend who's a natural. I tell him "Dude you're fuckin hilarious, you have zero filter" and he's just like ya I guess. Does whatever he wants at the club, gets laid every other night. Some men are just born with it or had a good older brother that taught them. I had zero teaching combined with negative emotional programming regarding my sexuality as I grew up. So a lot of this is reversing a ton of bullshit. @Jacob Morres Facts. It's about who you become in the face of adversity. For sure. The times where I had the most fun I got the best results. My sticking point is drawing state up from within. Takes time I guess. I'm just putting together my life in a new city so yes and no. I moved to a place with no friends so kinda working from scratch. I do Uber so I meet some people and network thru that. Ya I used to do loads of meditation right before getting into seduction. I actually would meditate 30-60 min daily. Gonna bring that back as it did make me more relaxed in general. Thanks. When I first started I was nervous as fuck. Then I became chill and even enjoyed it late 2022 into early 2023. Now I've come full circle back to fear and anxiety. I think what's happening is I'm about to jump up another couple levels in the next few months. I'm breaking down old thought patterns and habits to jump into a new paradigm as I organize my energy and life. ___________________ Thanks for the insights y'all !

Kudos for getting into the arena and battling it out! I'm 25 and i've been doing pickup for a little over 2 years with about 400 approaches under my belt (~300 of them since April this year). I wasn't sexually abused, but sex and sexuality was something my parents declined to teach me and even shamed me for when they found me fooling around with a girl at like age 6. This event made me think I wasn't allowed to be sexual in any way and it fucked me up because it made me deny my craving for women and pussy in my life. Therefore I fell behind everybody in school in terms of experience. It also got me envying and hating on anyone who displayed anything sexual throughout middle and high school. This problem of being able to physically and emotionally relate properly to the opposite sex for me is actually the motivation behind almost every decision I've made in my life up to this point. Kinda insane. What are your biggest lessons following those 400+ approaches?

@RawJudah I traveled and stayed in Mongolia for over a month. Best 6 weeks of my life. From learning to speak the language, to hiking Bogd Khan mountain which overlooks the capital city, to dating multiple girls, to meeting several nomads in the countryside, to camping and waking up to 1000/10 sunrises, to eating their unique and delicious cuisine, ya there's a lot to be gained. The touristy stuff i did was the least valuable. The main reasons i went was 1) for graduate research and 2) to date women on my off time. What are you specifically traveling for?? Your sounding unsure about your decision makes me believe you don't have a specific objective. What's important to you?

@Sugarcoat That's bizarre, spirituality has taken me in the reverse direction lmao

Natural fear. Just approach and either she will go to him or he will come to her. And if that happens, you wish them a nice day in a natural way and move on. It will feel weird at first, but it gets better. You can't let this stop you from approaching as you'll miss lots of opportunities.

Explained simply: How you experience yourself during your first trips (or low dose trips) is how you will, after enough development, experience yourself in normal waking life say 5-10 years down the line. Explained more in depth: Perceptions and sensations that you experience over the course of a trip (the way you feel, think, and relate to the world) are how you will perceive and sense reality as a baseline in the future if you do personal development / consciousness training properly and efficiently. Ever since my first trips in 2019/20, I'd say the intelligent ways in which I thought/felt/functioned on the substance then are about 60% baseline, normal ways of functioning at present. For example, on my first and second ever trips I tripped in my college apt. Not the perfect environ, but it did the trick. I experienced all kinds of visual distortions and enhanced sensations. For example, as I was eating the oven-baked pizza I watched the tomato sauce ooze out from a pocket in the dough and could literally feel it oozing, on top of the most vivid tomato taste ever. One of my friends and his girlfriend came over, and I got a super good read on their EXACT emotional states based on their facial/body language. Today, objects look sharper 24/7, they have more of a vapor-like quality, dissolving the real/illusion boundary to a degree. When I concentrate, food tastes more real. I have a pretty good read on people based on how they hold themselves; less aspects or reality are taken as normal or 'whatever'. I can feel my mind's entanglement with the world more clearly. In the past it took a few mushrooms to get to all that. Now it's the norm. Psychedelics can show you where you're headed if you follow-up on it.

I read Leo's recent blog posts about science/spirituality. They're hilarious! ...But also seriously on point, and they've inspired this rant that I'm about to go on about my development as a scientist and self-ac. This will be about how I got into science, my epic fails with attracting girls, and my militant atheism that slowly evolved to spirituality. My writing style is chaotic, bouncing left and right, so bare with it. I'm curious if there are any other scientists in the house who share a similar story. Go! So, where do I begin ? When I was about 12 I'd reached my peak of social stifled-ness and self-pity. I got bullied at school every day and I hid it all from my family; I was so embarrassed about it I didn't even want to reach out for help, lol. I couldn't talk to girls for shit and anything sexual terrified the living shit out of me (even though of course I secretly longed for intimacy with a girl). I'd spend about an hour a day watching Neil Degrasse Tyson and using his talking points to debate religious people over atheism on Facebook. All of this was all around the same exact time I was introduced to my love-passion to this day: geology. I knew this was what I had to devote a large portion of my life to, as I had the insight that "Holy shit, this is the first time I've ever been enthusiastic about something ever!" So I have something I'm passionate about now. But... (fuck!) having a passion outside of people doesn't kill aloneness. Ya still gotta mingle. So, why did I struggle to make connections? On the surface it was obvious: I played video games all the time, all my friends were also virgins, and I secluded myself in my bedroom trying to meet girls on Omegle. Oh dear, how those early days make me cringe immensely. Ah, but whatever, it's the truth. I spent 6 years at college studying geology, honestly loving it. I loved getting straight A's in something I believed in. I loved hiking mountains with seasoned professors and doing research. (Side note: I was lucky to have green profs; I've met orange ones and they are everything that's wrong with science. But we'll get to that shortly.) In the middle of those 6-years at uni, I was starting to have second thoughts about the legitimacy of science, all before I'd even found Actualized.org. Getting into weed and psychedelics was a solid catalyst in the process of deconstructing science: no other student in my classes that I knew was taking them to understand something. I could now see that science doesn't know everything. (Duh! How in the fuck could it explain the experience of psychedelics?!). I began to have a total change of heart about what I was doing. In my senior year I began dating this actually decently attractive girl (I really have no idea how she came barreling in!). But that sexual bond with another human finally gave me the confidence to investigate reality further. So I did. Right before the start of COVID I began meditating every day. After just 10 days of practice I began having an ego back-lash that would break my notions of science down further. I remember to this day sitting in a climate change class and being like "fuck, how do I even justify being here? I love studying this shit, but I can see the systemic epistemic problems now, clear as day." So I began reading lots of books to gain additional perspectives. And... I moved towns for grad school and broke up with my girl. I did it because I had my first inklings of getting into cold-approach seduction; new girls abound! But since it was COVID, I remained this bedroom-cave monk, meditating daily for 14 months straight before switching to binaural beats for a while. Oh and also I was taking psychedelics once every couple months and having more and more ridiculous trips. In spite of seeing through science, I chose to get into grad school, mostly for a free ride to Mongolia, where my field work would be. As COVID ended, I tried and failed at a lot of chances of getting with girls, because I was afraid of asking and I kept hiding my sexuality. So I decided enough was fucking enough and began cold-approaching. Didn't do much of it at first, but enough to build a foundation. Had a wing here and there, but no results. I was still alone. But whatever, the point was I kept moving and self-actualizing, discovering new aspects of self and life. This year I am 25 years old. Last year I flew to Mongolia and had the summer of my dreams, camping in the steppe and sedeucing incredible Mongol women back in the capital city. I just attended an Owen Cook bootcamp and now approach regularly. I moved from northeast to southwest USA and showed up with barely anything in my pocket. I work in Alaska on and off in a geotechnical job at a mine. The job I'm working at is full of people who are stuck in their heads and I'm not immune to that, as it rubs off on me. In my first week I was told multiple times to tone myself down by higher ups. Some of the younger men I work with are married or have girlfriends, but it's obvious they don't have any amazing social skills and are settling in some form. Nothing wrong with that, but it's funny how this is almost always the case. On another note, I've written half a book and recently barfed-up a big MS OneNote philosophy about geoscience and how the field would benefit from a deeper investigation into epistemics, big-picture thinking, and consciousness, blah blah blah. It's super cool to me, but I think I need to excommunicate myself from the field before I can open up about it, whitsle-blower style. Here's the true dilemma I face and why I might just leave: under the conditions I'm currently in, I am (1) working with people who are sexually beige, and socially meh unless they drink a couple beers (yep, geology has a big beer-drinking culture, look it up), (2) I want to talk about personal development, psychedelics, spirituality, but there's zero room for that and I can literally feel myself wanting to talk about it, but then stuffing it down on the regular. Of course, I can't leave this job right away as I'm still recovering from being a broke-ass grad student. Things are gonna take time to evolve. The way things are now as I see it, living in a big city environment for the first time has exposed me to just how materialistic people can be. But somewhere in there also lies the social elites who at least know how to connect with the opposite sex. And therein lies the crux to the personal development problem: how to do work with the right people AND be socially attractive, yet detached, AND pursue a deep spiritual awakening / God-realization process all in one? It's a beautiful problem I'm working on, and I think the linchpin is changing how I make money to survive. Being self-employed and financially-independent are big steps, and really where everything might spring forth. I'm trying to see if I can learn copywriting / ghostwriting. Or something that will also set me up for releasing content when the time comes to break free. But for now we stand here. Where are my scientist peeps at?

Hell ya! I think he's just as good as Owen. They take different angles and have different teaching methods. Zan is more about metaphysical beauty. I think his latest 21 convention speech (2023) was even better, though this one is classic ZP. The alabaster girl is in my top 3 books of all time. It's gold, and he gives them away for free (minus shipping) on his website! Not sure if he's still doing that tho- https://arsamorata.com/about-the-alabaster-girl/

@CARDOZZO i can tell you're a comp sci by the way you touch your forehead yes speaking your truth is important, but usually when im at the club i inject more emotion into it and front the best parts about my nerddom. creates good narratives! yeah Owen is great, went out with him in Miami this year and it was psycho. also love Zan Perrion although he doesn't market himself on YT much so people don't know about him have you heard of the alabaster girl?

@SeaMonster green transcends and includes orange. no contradiction if the green person still wants to do science. what chages is they are more open-minded, take on a systems-approach, and want to collaborate with people of different demographics (diversity/inclusion stuff). there are religious people who are above blue. likewise there are scientists who are green and beyond. they're just rarer. and they question/self-doubt more because they know they are assuming a lot and have self-bias. i worked with these people, so I'm speaking from experience. have you?

Mongolia was incredible. Simply the best 6 weeks of my life (I'm age 25). I can tell you about it in depth, PM me. Sending this from Alaska on a crappy WiFi connection

You gotta understand that a lot of the ugliness that the world produces is systemically-created. Green sort of understands this with their notions of 'systemic racism' and the like. But they don't take it's implications far enough, nor do they have enough perspective to see that a lot of issues are individual/group egos fighting with each other up-and-down a chain of human worldviews, and that the only way to eradicate these at their root is to raise the consciousness of all these people to Tier II. A task that yellow is sympathetic toward, because the yellow person understands that raising ones (and especially others!) consciousness is so goddamn difficult, both in theory and in personal experience. So what you want to do is to forgive the evil people, and hold them accountable as well. Here's what I mean: existensional acceptance = forgive the existence of the being/group's bad behavior and their ignorance that caused it (they just didn't have enough perspective) practical non-acceptance = in practice, we want to hold the being/group accountable (place limits/boundaries on them until they grow to be trusted and re-integrated into your life or society) It's like a mix of blue law and green sympathy. Yellow integrates them. And in your specific case if these people do not change, cut them off from your life entirely. And if you're never going to see them again anyways, then you might have some trauma work to do if you have scars.

@something_else not just backpacking, but travel in general. that's the power of it: you meet other open-minded, interesting individuals seeking expansion. a year ago I was in Mongolia for graduate research, and in just a couple weeks I went on like 10 dates, made a couple strong friends, and developed a new love for life. doors opened in a flash So, if you've got the money, go back and meet more people. Hell, what are you asking us for?! ^ is this your voice, or a parent? you know goddamn well that there is a chance at long-term value here; you basically said it yourself in this post. if anything, cut the travel to just 3 months. then you'll still have some money to fall back on.

^ right on! do your science but also notice the limits of academia and how your field has an effect (pos/neg) on different aspects of your life. then develop some original perspective on the matter (how the social system can be improved, what your field overlooks, new syntheses, etc.). that's basically what I've done. @Epikur ya that's somewhat the idea for the next few years. my field is cool because companies fly you to their mines all over the world, so I intend to work in Australia by late 2024 and visit southeast Asian countries to do more seduction, exploring, etc.

^^ I'll slide forward instead. @Cocolove sounds epic. hope those were non-gmo mushrooms