WonderSeeker

What is one thing you personally disagree with most of the forum on? ----- Note: This thread is not for being a dick or arguing with others. It's just an opportunity for you to make a journal entry about what's important to you even though it may not be the majority's taste on the Actualized forum. Breaking free from conformity means even doing things that may seem "conformist" for nonconformist reasons in a nonconformist style. Answers will vary, and I'm curious what y'all put.

This is beautiful. The way they auto-correct their movements... insane. If you have good mindfulness skills, catching every little movement will fill you with a sense of awe. My mouth hung open for the whole thing. ----- This begs the question... Will robots really take over the world?

Just preference. But also... Go to timestamp 1:37. Not saying it explains your situation, but it explains a big-picture trend happening in societies in the west and the far east.

I'm genuinely curious if you made this comment becasue you actually believe that, or just for attention. Seems absurd. Because yeah, imagine living in a place where half of society is straving (which means you are too), you don't have a right nor the means to use the internet (in DPRK everyone but the ruling class uses a nationalized intranet), and you're forced to download and repeat their propagnda or they kill you. As if they'd even let you in. ----- Even though I'm critical of South Korea and painfully aware of their problems, there's a ton of upsides here too. But you wouldn't know that becasue you haven't been here before. Travel. Explore. Experience.

For the past 6 years I've been ruthlessly applying Actualized-style personal development. I've done basically everything Leo talks about and pushed each area pretty hard. After all this time I've realized that geography plays a FUCKING MASSIVE role in how well the teachings work, at least for me. By geography, I mean everything from the country you live in, to the culture, the food, the people, the politics ... everything. This has lead me to an important insight: I need to start honoring my genetics and my preferences a lot more seriously. And also take the fucking hints when I reflect back on my life. Because honestly, I think America is possibly one of the worst non 3rd world country places for me on the planet. Not that I have much experience living elsewhere (I've only been to Canada and Mongolia for about 1 month each). But my intuitive-feeling capacities tell me so (and they're pretty sharp when they detect serious signal). I realized that living in America has been one of the biggest bottlenecks holding me back in life. As an INFP and an HSP, I am naturally extremely sensitive to my external environment and the people in it. I've tried for years to modify my behaviors using classical self-help, only to be disappointed over and over again. No, actually, pissed the fuck off. But not in an uncontrollable way. Just in a 'this is a rational response to a system that's not working for me' kind of way. Here's what I mean... This part isn't an America problem, but a climate problem: I currently live in a desert. As an HSP, the 110F heat fries my nervous system daily, impairing my brain function and forcing me to sleep-in every day. (Recently I took several sick days and lost my job recently because of it). The dust, loud car noises, and pollution all fuck with my senses as well. The basic internal message is "This place is chaotic", "I cannot think straight", "I am not safe here". After 3 years of this I am leaving for a smaller city with forests nearby. Now let's talk about America's problems... 1) Student debt. I aced college (and left with 40k in student debt). I've tried for years to go purely for the money to pay it down, but I hate corporate America and can't stomach staying in it for long. I have such a sour taste in my mouth that going to college, taking it seriously, and developing myself meant being a financial cripple. That's already an issue for me. Also, credit cards, car salesmen types, etc (I tried sales myself and found it to be monstrously unconscious and disgusting). 2) Relationships. Socially, people here are shallow, slimy, and fronting big time. Generally they're not nice and disingenuous. I know dating and socializing works for some here, but I am not a fan of game and clubbing no matter how hard I hit it and tried to enjoy it (I've done Miami and Scottsdale for example, and even the 'successes' were incredibly shallow). It's fake, overstimulating, and full of shit. And the status games are immature and pointless. Don't really need to say more, these things are self-evident. 3) Commercialism overload. Too many ads, advertising, commercials, billboards, and cut-throat tactics all in the name of money. We are so commercialized, people are getting reduced to data points and we treat each other like products instead of people. We don't value natural stuff or health, just profits by any means necessary. 4) Cutting back on EPA regulations. This one is personal because of my sensitivities, but really it affect everyone. Even people with the thickest shells are gonna be more prone to serious disease and illness. I need not say more. 5) The amount of news and politics getting shoved in your face 24/7. Sounds crazy, but in other parts of the world politics isn't a boiling pot of water. Gee, wouldn't it be nice? 6) Mass stupidity and idiocy. There's more, but this is a good starter list. - - - - - In 2 months I'm moving to South Korea to teach English to kindergarteners. It's not my ultimate life purpose but I'm proud of the decision. Plus I'm excited to be somewhere where it will be easier to live happily and make space for another run at deep personal development. Here's why I'm choosing Korea: 1) Cost of living. It's cheaper just about everywhere in east Asia. 3 years ago I got a $6 haircut and paid $15 for dinner in Mongolia (and it was all high quality too). In Korea people are generally healthier and live slightly longer than in the U.S. 2) Relationships and social life. Maybe this is preferential, but being on the more sensitive side, east Asian people are my jam. When I was in Mongolia I had some wild dates and met my first 'dream woman' there. It gave me a taste of the benefits of social cohesion and how the women there are literally the best. It's hard to date in America once you've done it there. 3) Less political nonsense. I prefer less unnecessary chaos. I'll let the U.S. bask in its own misery while I live where there's less bullshit. A little bullshit is ok (and normal), but not what the U.S. has. 4) Education and teachers are not only compensated, but MASSIVELY respected and admired. I've spoken to many teachers in the U.S. and it really breaks my heart the challenges they face. The situation is massively fucked up whether you're in a rural area or in a city. I would never teach here in 100 years. 5) Spirituality. Lots of Buddhism to go around all around Asia. In Mongolia it was a lot of Tibetan Buddhism. Not that I'm into the religious part of it. But being in a culture with a healthier form of religion (compare to the Christian nutcases in America) is important for me. Plus in certain parts of Asia they allow you to take time off to become a monk for part of the year where you do basically nothing but meditate and take care of the temple. I recently met a guy who did something like that at Mount Hiei in Japan. Another one in Nepal. It just makes so much sense with this Actualized work. 6) Better food (depending on where you are of course). 7) Asian people are more laid back, value real connection (although some of the metros can be more superficial due to fusion with expats). But in general this is true. The less western mind-virus, the better. The one girl I was seeing in Mongolia 3 years ago used to go to meditation retreats and she was so present, calm, and receptive. I was like holy shit, I've been alive for 24 years and didn't know what I was missing... not a superficial fling, but something real. YES, they do exist. - - - - - That's basically it. Ask me anything, I'm tired.

Integral theory. Of course it depends on the person. Once again I'm not saying everyone needs to pump one out. But to think it cannot help one develop both on the ground and in the clouds, directly and indirectly, is wrong I think. And I already talked about the practical stuff that needs to be done so no need to reiterate that. If you're struggling to progress with spiritual stuff, then you're forcing it at the wrong time. One massive key I've discovered in personal development is sticking your finger in the wind and knowing which season you're in (relationships, spirituality, health, career shift, money, etc). 5 years ago I made insane progress spiritually (in theory, practice, AND results). It was amazing. But today you can't force me to meditate. I do it here and there, sometimes by accident without trying. Other things matter to me right now and require more focused attention. The season to go hard at meditation, contemplation, and psychedelics will come back again, only 10x stronger. (It's a blessing not putting unhealthy pressure on yourself to become fully realized ASAP. Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm seeking a more holistic awakening as an actualized being (which is both an objective and subjective thing), not as a poor person living in mommy's basement, working at McDonalds).

There aren't many good examples of parenting and people's financial lives are piss poor (I'm currently fixing mine). The main keys are fixing your money situation, finding the right mate, and then getting excited about giving your own the kind of upbringing you wish you got. If I actually follow though with this, I will provide for my kid(s), give them tons of freedom, encourage (but never force) reading tons of books, learning from different perspectives, and doing brave things (travelling, starting a business, dating girls/guys, etc). I think having a kid and finding a way to keep a solid career and spiritual life, while being his/her biggest role model is everything. Of course, all of that is the ideal. If you raise your kids in mainstream society, other kids' beliefs, processed foods from school, TV/YT shows, advertising, and all sorts of other potentially toxic parts of society can pull them in the wrong directions. Of course, the point isn't to fight this, but to let them stumble through some of it. I'm lucky my parents were not authoritarian (for the most part). I used the freedom they gave me to explore the internet, travel to different parts of the region I was from for sports, have different friends, and read different kinds of books. The only place where they fucked up is their hands off mentality sometimes turned into avoidence, and there were a shit load of things they didn't teach or show me which made me feel unprepared when I moved out for the first time at 18. But that's just how it was being in a working class household with burnt-out parents. Good point. I think as long as you don't have a schizoid psychology, for most people witnessing birth/death slows time down and bonds people together. When our pet rabbit died a few years back, me my bothers, and my parents all gathered around him in a circle where he passed just moments before. We just sat there, present, petting his fur, crying quietly. No words, but we all felt hyper-connected. Completely unorchestrated. Haven't experienced the birth side yet, but I can only imagine it's something similar. Yeah. It's like people think all spiritual work is, is living in a log cabin by yourself, meditating or taking psychedelics, and that's it. You can't get rid of your whole life and claim that's the most spiritual way to be. Sure, some like Om Swami did it for a little while, but he's not most people. Why not fill your life up with what gives you meaning? Then make all of that into a spiritual expression. Ken Wilber: transcend and include. This forum: transcend-only, because we don't wanna be responsible for survival.

After teaching in a Korean hagwon for 5 months I can confirm what you said as accurate. I came to the factory farm conclusion from direct experience about a week ago. These poor kids are getting skewered by the system. It's pretty harsh. The Korean co-teachers at my school give these puny 6-year olds earfuls when they are too slow or make too many errors. It's a bit aggressive. A Korean guy I befriended at a coffee shop today said the parents do this to their kids to try to move up the social ladder. I actually teach in one of the most academically rigorous parts of the whole country which consistently scores high. The kids are insanely competitive with each other and it gets reinforced daily with the class dojo we use (which is against my philosophy, but what can you do). I favor the Finnish style of education where they lay off competition based academics/athletics until you get into your teens. What Korea used to pull off an economic miracle decades ago is being put into overdrive to barbecue its young people. Not good. I'm moving to a different country to teach after this year.

Damn, I didn't expect this thread to gain so much traction. Of all the comments so far I agree with Davino's the most. Coming into this forum in the early days, I felt like I knew nothing and I saw others speaking highly all over the place. Now I think they're just attempting to parrot the tone of people on here that actually know stuff rather than disappear from the forum for a few months to actually study or become conscious of shit. Good point.

My answer: I get the sense that most people on this forum are disinterested in having children (if not, completely against it). Personally, I want to have kids at some point, and consider it a deeply important part of personal development. It can help you integrate so many character traits and relative truths that you're hard-pressed to find otherwise. For example, by having kids you will learn how to caretake a vulnerable, complicated, unique being who you have a deep, direct, blood connection to. To do so, you have to become pain-stakingly clear on your values. It forces you to mature and develop high degrees of empathy and integrity. It gets you to take possibly the highest degree of personal responsibility you can as a human. It also forces you to be really pragmatic financially and materially (a good way to smooth you out if you're an idealist like me). All of this, of course assuming you want to raise a rockstar kid who becomes purposeful and interested in consciousness. (Now that's a project)! Part of the reason I posted this is in response to people who reference the below video. Thumbnail: Should you have kids? What if I told you that it doesn't matter because reproduction is a fictional narrative you invented as part of your robotic drive for survival? Not that I don't grok the metaphysical points made in the video, but I get the sense it argues in favor of not having kids without considering the upsides. This is a massive lifestyle decision that varies person to person, so I'm not trying to come off as a creepy, finger-wagging, white Christian Karen who says "you gotta pump as many as you can cuz the birthrates are going down," but moreso sharing a personal preference that's important to me. I may not even necessarily have kids in the end, but in principle I think it can be an extraordinarily good thing for people who want to integrate all kinds of different skills and experiences in this life. I think doing this Actualized work and then becoming a parent would be an interesting way to go about life. Parenting and finding creative ways to continue the work while you are raising new life. What I find so interesting about it is how do you balancing the two halves. Cheers.

@LordFall If that's what makes you feel like a million bucks, go get 'em. I used to fee insecure about my dating/sex habits, but now I'll happily admit that I date only 2-3 girls per year and sleep with 1 of them (unless I have a girlfriend). Sex has never really been high priority for me and even when it was a little higher on the list, it distracted from all the other cool things I love about life. Maybe you and your bros are just wired to want a buncha hot girls, and that's fine. And yet, the hot ones are often the worst to be around. I never approached them in bars, not because I was scared of their hotness (laughable), but because I was "scared" of their craziness. I once f*cked a SUPER "hot" girl, which made me feel like I shot up heroin after (it felt AMAZING). But she turned out to be a total psychopath with the worst personality ever, and I had to ditch her like a high speed chase. If she's a 10 in looks but a 2 in personality, 10+2=12 (lame). Is she's only a 7 in looks but a 9 in personality, 7+9=16 (better). I've had both and I would take the one with a surplus in personality every time. Then again, I'm demisexual, as others on this forum have pointed out. "Demisexuality is used to describe individuals who feel sexually attracted to someone only after developing a close or strong emotional bond with them." (Wikipedia) All of that said, it looks like you've got a killer network and I hope you crush your goals. I think you're a little bit of an outlier on this forum in terms of game skills, sex drive, and motivation (for better, worse, or both). Only thing I'd ask is why do you care who is picking up whom and what people on the forums think? They probably aren't as dedicated to this stuff as you. You're clearly more wired for it or have convinced yourself you're invested in this lifestyle and ought to max it. Which again, nothing wrong with that, but for most people it's a stepping stone that becomes tertiary before long. Cheers~

Love the way this guy explains it. It's taken me years of trying to fix my debt to stop making the same foolish mistakes and start prioritizing it like my life depends on it. I have 65k (50k alone in student loans) and am following a plan to get it all paid off in 3 years. Lifestyle-wise it's not gonna be super fun, but it will be worth it. Nothing is worse than being at net-negative. It prevents progress in so many ways.

Appreciate that.

Ok never mind, I think you understand the concept well. The only mistake (which I also made) is timing. The alignment you're talking about takes time. Don't be afraid to be a late bloomer if that's what it takes. For example— My top values are: Truth, consciousness, education, nature (the outdoors, camping, natural history), natural living, travel, and healthy/clean diet. BUT... What ended up happening is in the past 5 years I made a long and painful career change from being a geologist (which in theory I still love) to being a school teacher in foreign countries (which in practice I love even more). Along the way I tried sales/opening a business to test that dimension of work; it failed but I leanred. Point is you'll make tons of adjustments, big and small, if you're doing things right. That's just a small snippet of my values and some of the changes I've made. Hope it helps.

Life purpose ≠ job. Job is what you do. Purpose is who you want to become. I just turned 28. Since I was 25, I've tried 8 different things. But my purpose has always stayed the same (in fact, it's grown). Purpose is a state of mind. A north star if you will. I say all this because I'm guessing you're about 20 years old. You're all good.

I agree with the first bolded part, but disagree with the second. Spending conservatively - ie, in a way that looks poor - can be a necessary step to becoming wealthy, especially if your starting place is debt. Knowledge is certainly richness. Before age 24 I'd never flown in a plane. In the 4 years since, I've flown 40 times, with 36 of the flights paid for me (to several U.S. states, and to/from Mongolia and Korea twice). Companies and universities flew me around because of my expertise, so in a way that was money I "had" or "spent" via these entities. It was largely worth it too. This is good for a long-term arc of getting out of poor/debt/middle-class money mindsets and into wealth using emotional momentum. Switching from the mindset of a broke person, to getting even (if you're under), to becoming rich, to having it all and giving charitably.

I get what you're feeling, but sometimes it takes longer than seven years. Tell me all the things you've tried and what you haven't tried yet. It's all about hitting the sweet spot between what you value versus what's in demand. I got 2 degrees in a science field only to hate the work and try 3-4 other completely different things before settling on something I like. Sometimes that's the way it is.

Figure out your values. Look at what's in demand. Marry the two and refine as you go. Easier said than done.

Have you dealt with debt before? I wanna know other people's stories I think it's a common problem that enlightened people on this forum have and don't wanna admit in front of their enlightened friends

Scott Galloway His knowledge base is massive. He talks to/from stages blue, orange, and green without exclusively cherishing their perspectives on repeat. He also makes good critiques of them by stating facts and surgically pulling out the consequences — good or bad — then applying conscious moral judgements to them. He represents a "healthy" version of capitalism. He cares about more than just his tribe, be it family, country, ideology, or humanity. Can't say what his views are in the spiritual dimension though. Otherwise, a solid, current example of SD Yellow.

Oh and if you just wind up watching the Tube on your computer, then get Cold Turkey website blocker. It blocks certain sites and makes it impossible to unlock the setting while a "work-block" is active. But that's if you really need it (it's like $40).

First, get a phone lockbox (temporary fix). Lock it away and then ask this question to yourself: What payoff do you get from watching YT? Wait for a genuine answer. Then, let go of it (root-cause fix). That gets rid of the belief---that for some reason you need to consume YouTube compulsively---at the root. Hope this helps~

Let me take your title and put a spin on it (tell me what your gut instinct advice for me would be): I'm 27 and haven't had sex. Should I lift weights? What would you tell me? "DUDE, GO MEET SOME GIRLS!!!!!!" For you, make money and get a girlfriend. Clearly you want those things. Then if you have time AFTER, meditate/do yoga. Easy.

Q: What is your goal in this podcast episode? Will it be like Curt Jaimungal, or a different flavor? As a nerdy ex-scientist I support this. Letter rip!

Did you use AI to type this? Reads a little too good lol Yeah, this isn't good. If the U.S. goes into Greenland, EU countries will pull up and it will be a bloodbath. While that's going on, what do you think Putin will do? And China? I really don't want war on U.S. soil. I know whatever happens may lead to a better outcome in the long-run; I just hate seeing innocent people terrorized because of Darth Vader in the White House and Emperor Palpatine in Israel. We really are living in a once-in-a-lifetime snapshot in history.