WonderSeeker

If you still fall for this, Jesus Christ. It's body count. It's the most potent shit test the collective sexual marketplace puts up. For the PUA community and for most normies even, the standard is 100+ body count. I heard that standard talked about by Owen Cook's coaches at a bootcamp I attended in Miami in 2023 I saw it talked about in this sub-forum the other day I hear laypeople talk about it So, the standard is 100. But it's not about the number. The benchmark could be 20. The point is the emotional load this concept carries, the pain, the distraction, the stupidity it causes. Naturally, this leads to, What is all of this about? At a meta-level, body count is a collective shit test by society. To see, "Can you, this emotioanlly-driven, little human think for yourself?" Can you can see through 'body count' to something better? I had the intuition that body count was an INCREDIBLY low-grade way of viewing your sex life as early as the age of 18 when I first heard about it. "How the fuck do people pedestalize such a thing?" I thought. Now some of us feel like we gotta karmically burn through it. I know some forum members bulldozed their genitalia through human flesh and came out the other side wise as fuck. So, I'm not a high-horse preacher, saying you're a sinner for it or anything like that. This is more for guys who are still under the spell of the paradigm, but in a different way. I'm talking to those people on the side of the coin without those crazy results, but who still, on an emotional level, believe it actually matters. I added "emotional level," because in your mind, you might have rejected this notion long ago. But in your body? When you hear someone talk about it, or watch the below video, you may feel a disturbing charge in your body. That means you're still under the spell of body count. A stong reaction in either direction (positive affirmation or negative resistence) means you are still falling for the paradigm and therefore stuck at a lower level of Dating, Relationships, Sexuality. On a purely logical level, the amount of bodies you've tapped somehow being relevant to your life or anyone elses is hilarious and extremely self-centered. We all know that. But to oust that feeling of not being good enough (non-results side of the coin) or the racing feeling of "I gotta have another" (results side of the coin) is the tricky part of transcending it. Truth is, feeling like you gotta bag 100+ bodies = deep insecurity (whether you succeed or not) And all of that is encoded in: feeling body tissue vivid imagery You cannot logic your way out of this. About a year ago I started combining introspection with somatic therapy, removing the charge I once had around this issue. Although I never consciously believed in body count conceptually, I still lived in reaction to it for almost 10 years. I was saddled with jealousy and fear even though it was not true to who I was and what I believed in as a person. Every time I had a new sexual partner I'd mentally add a tally to an internal chalk board, as it if it meant fuck-all about what my life represents, let alone what it means to other people. Whether you have 7 tally marks, 70, or 700, it really just doesn't mean shit. What actually matters is how deeply you can feel into your body, into your soul at all times, including during real sexual play. And then you take it a layer deeper, feeling into the body, the soul of your partner across from you. You do this because you value quality over quantity, a.k.a. you value alchemy over hi-scores. ------ Anyways that's my rant. I invite counter-agruments, nuance that I missed, examplary media, or anything else to enrich this thread. Peace

I'm the same way. Ever heard of demi-sexuality? When it comes to casual — which isn't my favorite form of intimacy, but I've still engaged in recently — you can get yourself into an emotional state where you are passionate about the other person. But at the end of the day, it isn't 100% true and you don't take it serious enough. It is true that you're treating them as temporary objects for your pleasure. As long as the other person agrees to it and you aren't manipulating them (fine line, I know), then it's not necessarily bad. But still... Authenticity, depth, loyalty, and mutual understanding are, and will always be top. Body count is vanity.

I never said sex in itself is a low consciousness activity. Where are you pulling that from? All I said was having sex without soul is low consciousness, and the need to go through as many bodies as you can might be compensating for something. On the other side, not making the dating journey and living in reaction to those who have succeeded could end up as bypassing or being needy. Of course that's also true. I'm assuming I don't have the same standards or sex drive as you. If I had your results it'd probably be more than enough for this lifetime. Bonding is important, yes. I'm still in my dating journey with my own unique goals and desires so I'm not in any way done with this. In that last part you're basically talking about lifestyle design which I think is a great idea. In my life I've gotten my best results dating while in lifestyle-design-mode. No disagreement there. Stage yellow derives its values from being, so I don't understand the argument you're presenting. If your goal is conscious relationships, then that sounds more Tier II to me (note I haven't reached that place yet so I'm not some preacher). If you have, great. Please enlighten me.

I appreciate the creative ways in which you go about your business. Sounds like you have a fun and rewarding system going there as far as purpose and relationships go. Nevertheless, @Natasha Tori Maru is right when she says: Reason being, just because you talk about all of this in a highly systemized, elegant, nuanced way doesn't automatically make it "Tier II." To think so is to completely misunderstand what Tier II, is full stop. I mean dude, who needs to say this: Glad you're enjoying, but nobody asked. How does this relate to the thread, except proving @Valach's low consciousness point...

Appreciate you Joseph ~

Post below if this speaks to you. Either I'm full of shit, or you can relate on some level. The skinny: I find it hard to participate on this forum. It has nothing to do with the quality of the forum (I actually like it here and think it's a pretty clean and elevated place). I find it hard relating to the forum. I feel like my psyche is so refined I don't know what to even comment or contribute. I'm not saying I think I'm better or more developed. Not at all. I feel like right now, the way my mind works is such that I just couldn't be bothered I guess. It's not that I don't want to. I feel like I'm bathing in my own mind's juices, enjoying my own company, relishing in my own insights and path, which makes it hard to get out and participate. Don't get me wrong... I date. I hangout. I work. I'm not speaking about social isolation. It's more like psychic isolation. "Will anyone even get me? Do I even get me?" Actually, here's what I really mean. Here's the part that's a bitch: I don't know how to put any of this insights that I think / know / am aware of into words. Words become lame when you become more conscious. I'm not even talking about enlightenment or God realization! Just, once you've read a good 100 self-ac/spiritual books, tripped 20+ times (appenetly that's not even a lot for some of you guys), moved provinces/countries, experienced different relationships, chiseled away passionately at a life purpose, and let a lot of these Actualized meta-ideas sink in and put them into practice.... You really start to get the game. And from what I know, there is no universal reaction to this understanding. It varys from person to person. But right now mine is: "Damn. WTF. I wanna share what I'm aware of, but I might not be intelligent enough to do so (yet)." It's weird. Right now I'm sitting here, chilling in an imaginary hot tub, bathing in a psychic soup of my own imagination. I haven't done any serious spritual practice in years, with the exception of quarterly psychedelic trips, the last one being in February 2026. Yet somehow God's insightful fangs keep biting their teeth deeper into my being, injecting me with deeper levels of the already known, and the unknown. Again, post if you relate. If not, leave this empty and let it become yet another artifact of the Actualized forum

Also good point. Of all the partners I've had — from a 1 hour affair to a 3 year relationship — I've had a wide range of experiences. Trauma. Ecstasy. Depression. Pure happiness. @Valach and @LordFall I'd like to see you guys continue to hash this out, minus the negativity. You're both providing some good perspectives.

I think this is sound advice. Maybe I'm going about it wrong but I haven't met a lot of women who could be this. Maybe 1-2 in my life so far. And of course with the one I was seeing for a short time, we both ended up moving countries at the same time. So I haven't gotten to find out what sexual and personal co-evolution is like yet. ----- Btw, just on a practical note for this thread, a lot of you guys aren't grasping what I actually said in the original post. Note, "the actual number doesn't matter." It could be 100 or it could be 2. What i was saying was keeping an internal chalkboard of tallys for each person you bed is low-grade. The issue is the concept body count in itself is hijacking your imagination and affecting how you see yourself and other people. It robs you of your presence as you go about your business in the sexual marketplace. Thats why emotioanlly/physiologically detaching from the concept is so important. That's the main thing I was hitting on.

Hitting the lowest of lows gives the right people the motivation they need to rebound and go all the way. You are one of those people. In 2024 I burned out after putting my whole heart, soul, and money into a sales job I thought would make me rich. Lost 1000s. Rebounded with a corprate job and a business on the side. Burned out even harder and got fired / lost the business in 2025, losing 1000s more and becoming horribly depressed. Now in a career I love on the opposite side of the planet, on track to hit crazy relationship, money, and spiritual goals in the coming years. The curveballs are always good in the long run, I swear. Wishing you continued momentum and prosperity, Mr Majed

You're right. ----- Thank you for the encouragement @aurum , @Natasha Tori Maru , and @Hojo . In a funny way the combination of what you all said was exactly what I was looking for without even expecting it. Right now I am aware I am a vessel for some other intelligence, but that kinda freaks me out. Sometimes I doubt if I can trust myself with that responsibility. It makes me appreciate Leo's integrity that much more. In a weird way everything in the universe looks like intelligence to me. The intelligence here is I enter this intelligent forum, intelligent members ping me back, I surrender to what they (in this case all of you) said, and it spits me back out with something uniquely good for you to chew on in return. It's like I am consenting to y'all to use me to make you more intelligent. But HERE'S THE BEAUTY OF IT! My intelligence isn't in isolation. It takes the raw material you provided, mixes it with my weird insights and personal experiences, and spits out whatever you need personally in this moment. Whether it has a direct effect or a down-the-line effect is a different story

I think the "seeking function" has been active all along. It's just assumed different forms lately due to the unique circumstances of my survival situation. In 2022, I stopped the direct spiritual path because it started to get too intense. I was too young and did not have enough survival handled. Been mowing down student debt and building better relationships while travelling in the meantime. Doing somatic therapy, switching careers, and moving to the far east in the last year was fucking huge for my life I've been telling myself once I have a more stable platform, I'm gonna go balls to the wall with seeking. That day is getting closer.

That's one hell of a call to action. I am afraid of misleading. That's a limiting belief I'm in the process of etching out.

Let your limited paradigm defeat itself. Clearly it's wrong and the universe is trying to force you out of it. It'll be ok. Take right action, endure, and realize the next, higher truth you can reach for.

Shady people are good at making you doubt the shadiness you suspect them of. Be careful. If you trust your gut on this one, something better will come up.

My best friend in the world is conservative as fuck. We've been deep frineds for 10+ years. Let me tell you, going shooting with him, hanging out in his circle of Trumpers, and debating politics with them for hours, then drinking a beer after taught me more about conservatives than 100+ hours of YT on the conservative value system (save Leo's brilliant video on it).

Never watched the guy no matter how hard YT peddles his stuff to me. Seems like normie content veiled to look like it's sophisticated. Naval, Huberman, Diary. They make some good points, but they're all click-baity and stale after 10 minutes.

Don't share unless she asks.

Damn, that's tough news to receive. For sure finish those games and any other projects that make you happy. Spend loads of time with your loved ones and tell them everything. Leave nothing on the table.

Switched from geology to teaching English as a foreign language in east Asia.

I like this thread idea! One mistake I made — although I wouldn't necessarily redo it now — is trying to build a business and paying for expensive, live PUA programs while already in debt. In other words, taking dumb risks. I was in my early 20s, fresh out of college, and ambitious, so I said 'fuck it'and racked up credit card debt on top of student debt. Now I'm in my late 20s and a hardcore conservative with my money. Putting everything that's not non-discretionary expenses straight to debt payments. Should be out of debt in 3 years. Then will take more calculated "risks" when the time's right. ----- Another mistake I made was dating an ex-Vegas stripper psychopath. Again, being young, stupid, and horny, I did it for the sex. Well, ended up with the best sex of any of our lifetimes, but new trauma I had to process after I got the police to drag her away. Again, I wouldn't necessarily redo this one because it taught me incredibly valuable life lessons I wouldn't learn in any other way (like the PRECISE workings of a narcissist / psychopath, not just a YouTube video about it but direct experience). But I also wouldn't relive it either. ----- @YIDIRYIDIR appreciate you sharing this. You've got some interesting ones — I resonate a little bit with the "violent communication" one.

Kinda hard to act that. If that's acting, he could easily be in Hollywood.

Knew you'd say that. Gonna push back. Isn't it true that helping people access Truth is more good than being uncalibrated with what you share (thereby steering people away from truth-seeking)? Why even post at all Leo?

Awakening is 100% positive The last 30 seconds of that reel kinda freaked me out. Maybe it's positive from the 1st person, but watching that from the 3rd person is unsettling as fuck ----- On the substance, he's right. I had my first awakenings in early 2021. They were both incomplete. I felt depressed and de-personalized at first. In the years since, I've had far deeper ones and now baseline existence is really good and satisfying. It's actually quite hard to be depressed at all...

I'm 28 and couldn't agree more. Psychedelics amplified and eventually pushed me through an old career, forcing me to switch lanes to stay true to myself. I'm not using them again until I get my finances stable, have a good relationship, and learn more about the world. There's absolutely no rush to depart for the heavens.

Grabbed the book list years ago and still buying books from it. So worth it! Also if you're interested, I highly recommend Daniel Schmachtenberger and Jordan Thornton's book lists on society/game theory and depth psychology respectively.